#unleashedya

What type of trust do you live in today? What type of trust do you want to live in? Do you worry about what's going to happen tomorrow? Next week? A year from now? Life can be intimidating. 

In 1 Kings, we see a severe famine in Samaria that has lasted three years. The Lord then tells Elijah to go talk to Ahab. Except Elijah is a prophet, and Ahab is a prophet killer. You can imagine why Elijah may be a little less than eager to see this guy. But God goes with him! People repent and give up their idols! And that's when God sends the rain.

Elijah had to have incredible faith in order to walk up to this king that would likely have killed him. God may be asking you to do something you don't think is possible. It could be something huge, or it could be something that doesn't seem that big a deal at all. But we never know how God may be using us to affect other people's lives.

Is there an area that you're resisting to hand over to God? A relationship? A hope? A job? God wants to be involved in all of it. He wants to bless you in all of it.

It's easy to trust someone you're close to. So spend more time with God! Get to know him! Learn that he really does want what's best for you and will never stop taking care of you. Fall into his trust.

Hey all!

This past Thursday, we had another awesome night at our Unleashed Young Adults service. This week Pastor Sean continued with his series on Real Love and how to have really wonderful relationships.

Here are some of the big pictures he illustrated, in case you missed it or you want a recap! (And we know it's lengthy...but bear with us! Later blog posts will be shorter, we promise!)

The truth is we’re flawed creatures. And this can become really obvious when we’re in a relationship and we start asking questions like “what can I get out of this?” and “how can this benefit me?” And sometimes we don’t even realize it, but we’re really thinking way too much about ourselves and our needs.

But the number one enemy of relationships causes more problems then you can wrap your head around. And it has nothing to do with hogging the sheets or leaving the seat up.

Pastor Sean told us a story about how he has this one friend with a pretty tough life, and he’s working through it, doing his best. But then there’s this girl…and suddenly it’s all about how if he gets her, then everything else will fall into place. It’s like every other problem will be solved if he can just get this girl. Finally then life will be smooth and awesome. You might know someone like that or that might sound like something you’ve experienced yourself. Believe it or not, there’s an old-school real life story that deals with this same problem in Genesis 29. (And you should really read the whole story when you have time, because it's crazy, and this blog post is not going to do it justice!)

Jacob and Esau Father Abraham had many sons-- er, one son that we’re talking about, named Isaac. Isaac married Rebecca, and then they had two sons named Jacob and Esau. So to sum up a pretty brutal brotherhood, Jacob deceives his brother and father into getting his older brother’s birthright and blessing, which is a really big deal. Well once his brother Esau finds out what Jacob has done, Esau swears to kill his brother, so Jacob has no choice but to run away to his Uncle Laban’s place far away. At this point, Jacob has nothing. He’s ruined his relationship with his brother and father, deceiving them both. He’s miles and miles away from the one woman who loves him, his mother. His life appears worthless, lonely, insignificant.

Jacob and Rachel Once Jacob arrives at his Uncle Laban’s place, Jacob meets Laban’s two daughters, Leah and her younger sister Rachel. Well Rachel is curvy and beautiful and Leah has “weak eyes.” Guess who Jacob wants to get with? And he’s so desperate to get with Rachel, that he promises Laban he’ll work for 7 years herding sheep just to marry Rachel, which is crazy, even back then. But it’s not because he’s so in love with Rachel, it's not this incredibly romantic gesture. He’s desperate for validation, for feeling worthy, feeling fulfilled. His life is a real mess, and he thinks that if he could just get this girl, then everything will be alright. His life will be restored. The void will be filled.

Our Pseudo-saviors In Denial of Death, secular atheist Ernest Becker writes about how Americans "aren’t willing to admit the degree in which we will go to make up for [our] lack of spiritual fulfillment." So we go looking for it in our soul mates, the perfect solution to our problems.

You know what that looks like in our world? Men doing whatever they have to in order to have sex with attractive women in order to feel successful and fulfilled. And women will go out looking to have sex with powerful men so she can feel important. Jacob did it. We do it. We make saviors of the opposite sex, hoping that they will save us from our own hurt, fill our void, make us important.

Not What He Thought Alright, back to Jacob. 7 years pass, the wedding day finally shows up. As is tradition, the bride is veiled for the entire wedding event, sun up to sun down, in a veil you can barely see through. And that night, Jacob and his wife spend the night together in the dark, but in the morning, he sees it’s Leah in his bed, not Rachel! What!? It was Leah veiled the whole time! But when Jacob goes to yell at Laban, and says, “You deceived me!” Jacob realizes his father Isaac said the exact same thing when he had stolen his older brother’s blessing. Ouch. Then Laban says Leah needs to be married first, because it’s not custom for the younger to be preferred over the older. Double ouch. Isn’t that exactly what Jacob did to his own brother?

So Jacob was looking for a savior, but he comes out deceived, disillusioned, and disappointed. His perfect solution to all his problems was all for naught.

Leah and Jacob Okay, so about Leah. The Bible tells us she had “weak eyes,” which probably means she just wasn't very attractive. Meanwhile her younger sister is stunning, and their dad Laban is just trying to get rid of Leah at the first opportunity. She’s living in her younger sister’s shadow. So you can guess how much self-esteem Leah has right about now, right? Well to Leah, Jacob is the answer to her problems! Leah’s got Jacob on that pedestal just like Jacob has Leah on a pedestal! So she starts popping out baby boys, which is the ultimate act of fulfillment for a woman in Hebrew culture. And she names them in hopes of Jacob taking notice, Rueben (to see), Simeon (to hear), and Levi (to attach), hoping Jacob will see her, hear her, attach himself to her. No cigar. Here’s the deal: Jacob made a pseudo-savior out of Rachel. Leah made a pseudo-savior out of Jacob. And it’s not like this only happened back then. We still make pseudo-saviors out of each other, our spouses, family, our children. We even make pseudo-saviors out of our future achievements and our stuff.

Have you ever found yourself thinking: once I pass this class… or once I graduate… or once I get a job... once I get that job... if I could just go out with this guy... if I could just marry this girl... once I get that car... once I get that house... then everything will be perfect!

Sound at all familiar? C.S. Lewis said it best: “There is always something that we have grasped at the first moment of longing that just fades away with reality. The thing we thought we were going to get in the new experience always evades us! In the morning, it’s always Leah.” Here's the number one enemy in any relationship: when you enter into a relationship and you think the other person is going to save you. No one can live up to those kinds of expectations. Back to Leah: she asked God for sons, so she could gain her husband‘s approval, and God gives them to her. And that’s another thing we do. We run to God praying for these things, these idols, hoping they will fulfill us, and God is saying, “Wait a minute, you want me to give you these idols to fulfill you, even though I’m the one who is going to take care you?” And we say something like, “Yeah! If I can just have this thing, then it’ll all be great!” Well Leah keeps praying, because she isn’t fulfilled, until her relationship with God grows and deepens, then she realizes her fulfillment is in God! And she names her last son Judah (praise) because it’s about God now, not about impressing Jacob. And she stops having kids, because she’s not looking for fulfillment in Jacob and child bearing anymore. She discovers the great secret (that’s not a secret at all): that God is the answer. Not her husband, not her children, not her stuff, not her situation.

So here’s what we’ve learned from this crazy (and true) story:

If you’re expecting your husband or wife to save you, you’re in big trouble. No one can live up to that expectation except God. Those expectations will bring a whole lot of problems and pressure into your relationship that you don’t need. 

If you’re single and loving God, but you’re dying to be married because you think that will be the answer to all your problems and the achievement of your life, God might very well delay your spouse’s arrival. Because you’re not ready for marriage if you think that’s what marriage is. 

When you look to God as your savior, when you start giving Him the passions and desires of your heart and trust Him to fulfill you, then He can safely bring the love of your life around. 

Focus on what you do have instead of what you lack. That can be in a relationship or out. Build on what you have, and the lack won’t be so apparent. Besides, God is going to take care of it anyway. 

Forgive each other. God forgives us everyday. We need to forgive each other everyday too. Don’t hang on to old hurts. When you forgive each other, you grow together and become more like Christ. What an amazing opportunity! 

Only God can fix you. You can’t be fixed by another person or by a situation. Nor can you fix your spouse. Fixer-uppers are for God and God alone. And He does a truly beautiful job. 

Make your relationship intimate. You know the number one counseling issue men face? They wish their wives had a desire for more intimacy! You know the solution? Pray to God and pray together. Men, when your wife knows that you live for a purpose greater than yourself and she knows you’re following someone bigger than yourself, she’ll follow you because she knows you pray and you will lead you both in a spiritual relationship with God. There is something special that happens, that she wants to give herself in ways that she never has before.