I just did the colony lambda quest(I had to take a break from the game for a while since me and the friend who's watching me play didn't have matching schedules, took me waaaaay too long to get here lmao)

That in mind,

HOLY FUCKING HELL

QUEENS SPARKING WINGS WHY!? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME THAT HURT

I can't I literally can't genuinely actually this game is going to break my heart IM SCARED OF WHAT THE LATER CHAPTERS HOLD OH GOD

I was already reeling from "Isurd" shattering Taions self worth, then the whiplash of finally getting to see the Agnian Ouroborus designs which, god, I could make 2 essays each about all the Ouroborus designs(TL;DR the art direction in this game consistently slaps so hard 20/10)

And after that the relief at finding out that wasn't really Isurd and then.... god....... I hadn't played, or seen the opening/flashbacks in so long, it took me a minute. But it clicked. Right before his big reveal it fucking clicked and my god was recognizing Consul J's voice a punch to the gut. All that in such a short time... guh

And they had to FIGHT him after too... not even in his mobius form!! He was just toying with them, happily forcing them to attack someone bearing the face of their dear friend. God he's such a dick now... I honestly don't even believe Consuls are actually those people brought back to life or whatever. They share their face, and their memories sure. But that's a fundamentally different person. Also god I can't wait to find out how N works since he's clearly Noah, but like... which one came first? Noah or N? Or perhaps a third party given the soldiers are all(afaik) clone pod children to an extent?

Anyways, good game, good fun, hurts like a bitch but snuff it I ain't stoppin' now. I'm seeing this through to the end no matter how much it tries to stab me in the heart >:'(

OH ALSO

I freed Gamma!! Teach is very silly, scared me for a good minute there at the start but I adore him, and the little teaching side quest is so fun! Only done Eunie/Sena's and Taion/Noah's so far, but I'm excited for more :]

AUGHGGDHDVSBBSBXHCBC SOD OFF YOU ARSEHOLES THAT SNUFFIN HURT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I went into this sequence at 3 in the morning, my dear friend told me the prison sequence(this was in reference to the prison escape sequence, we had already done most of what happens in Li Garte) was rather long and didn't have any good stopping points. He was so right it's not even funny, but I didn't want to stop playing(and he didn't mind lol), so we tredged on.

It lasted 6 sparking hours and crushed my soul.

So, The Incident.

I had obviously noticed Sena's self worth dilemma given they explicitly pointed it out during her conversation with Shania on the beach, as well as a pretty obvious moment between her and Lanz in the prison. Plus, up to that point I had slooowly been picking up on Sena's general demeanor when it came to herself and her own self confidence. It's pretty subtle earlygame(I think, its been quite a while since I played this sequence, we've been doing a lot of side quests lmao) but she's definitely rather... meek isn't the right word, but she doesn't push to the front much of ever.

She rarely considers taking the lead and I don't really recall her giving strong input or suggestion up to this point, just small readjustment ideas or simple support for other peoples thoughts(for what I remember atleast). I mean for sparks sake even her dialogue for when you switch to her leading the party is "You want me to lead?" Or in a supressed nervous tone "Big responsibility!.." like someone trusting and wanting to rely on her is surprising to her.

She acts in a way that almost makes her feel invisible at times, like an accessory to the group, despite how integral she is. Her behavior very much so lines up with her explicitly stated feelings. Sena clearly cares deeply for her friends and acts on that care regularly but she seems to, subconsciously or otherwise, not think they hold her in nearly as much regard as she does them. Which yknow... ow....... my heart >:(

When it comes to both of them, I think the flow of their way of acting and discussing things was done well to make the stunt Sena and Lanz pulled an effective gut punch and certainly surprising, but not seem all too sudden or out of place. It hurt, but it didn't break the suspention of my disbelief or feel like it came out of left field because it didn't. It was very much forshadowed, just they did it so subtly there was no way I'd guess that was gonna happen until it was already happening!(o7 to baby Joran and adult Mwamba and their very predictable ends, those death flags were like 100 times the size of Fiona's banner, they did not stand a chance)

Now, I want to point out my favorite part. That being Lanz' influence over this decision. Because that seed of how he views himself and his role was planted so deep and so early and not a single pixel of it registered in my head until we did cutscene rewatches. But I absolutely noticed that shit subconsciously(great job devs) and BOY HOWDY did that make this sequence work so well.

Because upon rewatch of the FIRST CUTSCENES(sneaky mudders), you see lanz, getting hurt and refusing to acknowledge it in favor of pushing his friends to worry about themselves. Taking his role as defender further than is safe or healthy for him, something we also see in the flashback where Joran and crew are doing a mock-battle with Garvel's team.(same arm got injured in both scenes btw, fun little detail I noticed!)

And during the bath scene you can even see him clearly in pain, wincing and such, and immediately brushing off the worried soldier next to him. Or when Eunie directly brings up the injury he gets defensive and dismissive. It is baked into his character early on to always act as their shield to the furthest extent he can, regardless of the condition that leaves him in.

And Sena,,, god Sena...... she hurts me so ;_;

The flashbacks of her and Mio make it waaay more obvious how she views herself compared to others, but it also shows up in earlier sidequests, like Teach's Teachers! She stands up for herself during the quest, but it's clear that at the very least Foots,(if not other members of Gamma) don't really view Sena as impressive enough to warrant respect. And I get the feeling she didn't push back against that much before their journey as Ouroboros began.

All of the characters have grown quite a bit on their adventure and I think Sena defending herself more was one of those growth points. Even if she always used to stand up for herself, it doesn't change the fundamental problem.

That problem being, she doesn't actually believe it. Sena can say out loud all she wants how strong and powerful and confident she thinks she is, but when we get down to the metal of it she blatantly does not think that about herself. She knows she's physically strong and that's about it. I genuinely don't think Lanz was only speaking for himself when he said "this is about all I'm good for" because it would actually shock me if Sena didn't think that about herself too. They both made a joint decision(one that Sena kicked off no less) and mutually decided this was how it would end.

And I can see why it would lead to this! Monica herself clarified with them this mission would be incredibly dangerous, that they'd need to be prepared to make sacrifices(how I didn't clock the forshadowing on that one I cannot fathom) and they came to the conclusion making that sacrifice was their only way out. And they were right too!! There wasn't a chance in hell any of them would leave that prison alive if they kept on as they were going. They didn't have what it took to beat N, so they did what they had to.

The part that turns the gut punch into a 12-gauge shotgun is the way they talk about themselves in their final moments. Gentle and kind and urging their friends to keep fighting, but there is an underlying foundation of "you'll be fine without us, we weren't important to begin with."

Again, and I quote, "this is about all I'm good for"

ALSO SIDE NOTE LANZ WTF OW????? YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT YOU ARSE

It all just wraps up so nicely into such a painful few moments that are deceptively short and yet felt like they took forever. I think I was actually holding my breath while they were dragging N up with them. And I have no shame in admitting I was legit crying during that, it hit me pretty hard. Like... really hard. My ribs are still bruised :(

The genuine relief when X showed up and forced them out of their interlink hooooo my god she was instantly blasted up to favorite moebius in one swift motion. Bad Bitch X I love her she's on that queen behavior and I will take no notes on this. X is the only reason Sena and Lanz are alive we take the wins where we can get them.(objectively I dislike her she is Not Cool bUT SUBJECTIVELY I WILL NEVER FORGET THE SERVICE SHE HAS DONE THANK YOU X MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH I LOVE YOU MWAH)

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