#undertale pirate

“wh-“ he began, before interrupting himself and taking a step backwards. He seemed taken back, and Razz smirked. “’m not wearin’ a princess dress.”

After grabbing the skirt carefully, Razz lifted it up and let the fabric fall almost seductively. The pirate’s clothes were of a durable, rough material, made to last. A great contrast to the soft, delicate material of his own clothing which was made for comfort, beauty and, almost most importantly, to impress. Red seemed to lean forward, eyelights following the movements closely. Smirking wider, Razz quickly turned. He looked through the dresses quickly before taking out one of the biggest, loosest ones and held it up. It was royal blue with earthy brown seams.

“I CAN SEE YOU’RE TEMPTED,” he purred. “GO AHEAD. I WON’T JUDGE.”

There was a flicker of resistance in Red’s eyelights, and for a moment Razz thought he’d refuse. Then his shoulders sank, and he grimaced, nodding.

“fuckin’ fine,” he said grumpily, slowly walking up to the wardrobe. “gimme th’ dress. but dontcha dare tell anyone.”

“WHO WOULD I TELL?” Razz replied, triumphant, as he nodded. “YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE HERE I EVER TALK TO. NOW, TAKE OF YOUR COAT AND SHIRT.”

Red grumbled, but obeyed. After putting his coat down on the bed and carelessly dragging the crimson shirt over his head he simply threw it on the bed gable. Razz frowned and shook his head but didn’t say anything. Instead he just held the dress up higher, and took it off the hanger.

Taking a closer look at Red, his eye sockets widened. The other was covered with pictures: tattoos. Maps and ships and anchors and seabirds and sea animals. He studied them curiously, which Red noticed and grinned at him. Razz scowled in return. He shook the dress.

There was something akin to a blush on Red’s cheeks as he carefully took the dress from Razz. Razz watched in slight amusement how the other handled it like it was the most breakable thing in the universe. He also felt a bit pleased. At least the pirate knew to take care with precious things. Very slowly, the dress was slipped over Red’s head and his mouth was slightly open as it slid down his body until it was fully on. The lower seam was about a decimetre from the ground, due to their different heights. It would’ve been more, but almost all of Razz’s dresses were fitted after his height when wearing heels.

Breathing deeply, Red held up an arm and stared at the silk of the wide sleeve. He seemed almost spellbound by the feeling of the sleek material.

“WELL?” Razz asked, laughing under his breath. It was almost adorable to watch. Snorting, he grinned at the thought. Who would’ve ever thought a pirate could be called ‘adorable’?

“this is wha’ ya wear every day?” Red said, almost breathless, a jealous tint in his voice.

“EXCEPT WHEN I’M EXERCISING OR FIGHTING, YES,” he confirmed with a nod. The look on the other’s face was one of pure awe. “YOU LOOK GOOD IN IT.” Except for the fact that it was too small. Images of Red wearing a well-fitting dress appeared in his mind, and he shook his head to get rid of them.

Suddenly footsteps were heard outside of the room, coming closer. Signalling that someone was on their way either here or one of the few cabins close. Red’s sockets grew wide, and he tugged at the dress. He looked slightly panicked.

“gettit o’ me,” he almost commanded, tugging at it again. “or i’ll never hear the end of it. ‘specially if ‘t’s undyne or boss.”

For a short moment Razz thought about refusing to help, simply because Red had had the guts to order him to do something. Then he huffed slightly, and began to ease it off the other’s shoulders. Luckily, they hadn’t closed the back, or this would’ve taken some time. The other wriggled inside the dress, and he gripped harder so his hands wouldn’t slip off the slippery fabric. Red’s breathing had become harder, and Razz fought the urge to roll his eyelights. What was the big deal? It was just a pretty dress. Was it such a crime to like beautiful things when you were a pirate? Thank the stars he wasn’t one if that was the case.

He had only just gotten the dress off Red and put it down on the desk chair as the door opened. Wide-eyed, Red twisted his neck to look who it was. Razz followed suit, but calmer. The captain stood frozen in the door, staring at them with wide eyes. Then a shit-eating grin appeared on her face.

“Don’t mind me, just continue with… whatever you were doing,” she giggled, throwing them a dirty-minded look. “Red, come to my cabin later.”

She stepped backwards, and closed the door as she did so. A groan came from Red, and Razz stared at the door, horrified. Did she… did she think they’d… that he would… He gaped, choking at his words as he tried to get a word out. That was not only fucking illegal but also plain wrong.

“gods fucking damn it,” Red said, sinking down on the bed, and Razz’s eyelights slowly moved toward him instead of the door.

He could only agree.

Red left shortly after. The atmosphere had turned quite awkward and frankly embarrassing. The queen had seemed completely horror-struck after what Undyne had said. Also, if the fish brat wanted him to come to her cabin, then it might be something important. That was what he told himself at least as he excused himself. Cheeks still slightly crimson, he made his way through the hallways of Sarynthia, toward the Captain’s Cabin. The biggest cabin in the entire ship, which was lucky. She and Fell shared houseroom right now, after all.

Almost surprising his brother could stand that. Fell was a neat freak and Undyne a total slob.

Then again, he had shared bed with both Undyne and Red more times than even she could count.

After knocking once Red opened the cabin door. Both his brother and the captain was already in there. They were grinning, staring at him as he appeared, and he scowled. She let out a rowdy laugh as he glared angrily, and stood up to throw an arm over his shoulders. Red growled slightly, but allowed her to steer him inside.

“C’mon, lil’ bro,” Undyne laughed, forcing him to sit on Fell’s bed. “How did it go with the empress?”

Of course he hadn’t been able to get himself to hide the news for Undyne and Fell. The three of them didn’t do that kind of secrets. Family didn’t do that kind of secrets. He rolled his eyelights and stuck out his glowing red tongue at her.

“nothin’ happened, fishbreath,” he told her flatly. “he jus’ wanted ta see my tattoos. ‘parently tha’s not a thing at th’ imperial court.”

That was probably true. Her face fell slightly, but the grin was still wide. Fell, who had been standing over the desk and studying maps, walked up to them. He raised an eyebrow, but elbowed Undyne in the side.

“I TOLD YOU,” he said, sounding smug. “THE QUEEN OF BEOBYRA WOULDN’T. STILL. HOW IS THE SEDUCTION GOING, WHELP?”

Red shrugged, and stood up. Pressing past them he went to the window and stared out at the cloudy sky. The wind was fresh and strong, with no signs of tempest. Perfect sailing conditions, his mind quietly supplied. Throwing a glance at the other two he grinned.

“’s goin’ fine, boss,” he promised. His soul uncomfortably skipped a beat, but he wasn’t sure why. “th’ plan’s still on.”

“GREAT,” Fell said, before flicking his hand. Red let out a muffled protest as his soul turned Blue and he floated over to the other two. His brother had a habit to pick him up all the time. Normally he didn’t mind, his brother’s arms were comfy and felt safe. But he wouldn’t protest if Fell stopped doing it with Blue magic every time he was out of reach. “WELL THEN, BROTHER. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT APPLE PORRIDGE? I’VE BEEN MEANING TO TRY IT OUT WITH THE OLD APPLES NO ONE WANTS TO EAT.”

Red grinned at the empress, who was sitting cross-legged on the bed and embroidering. Another thing he had been surprised to find the other knew how to do, except playing instruments and doing calligraphy. Which was very pretty. Then again, he wasn’t sure why he was surprised over anything the other could do anymore. It had been proven that a princess’ education was very throughout. Except in stuff necessary for living such as cleaning and cooking. That he couldn’t do for his life. Razz was looking pensive as he let the needle travel over the pillow Red had given him for embroidering. He had stolen it from one of the crewmembers. They wouldn’t mind. Probably.

After a few moments of thoughtful silence, Razz put down the embroidery and stared at him with tilted head. Red blinked, waiting for the other to speak. He cringed little. It was uncomfortable to be the victim of such an inquiring stare. Eventually, though, the empress spoke.

“WHY DID YOU BECOME A PIRATE? YOU ARE NOT LIKE I IMAGINED A SEA CRIMINAL WOULD BE AND I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO THINK OF A REASON BUT BEEN UNABLE TO,” he said, and Red snorted. While he wasn’t the most common type of pirate, he most certainly wasn’t an unusual kind either. Shrugging, he leaned backwards in the chair.

“tha’s a long story.”

“I’VE GOT A LOT OF TIME. UNFORTUNATELY.”

Razz stared at him expectantly. Eventually, Red shrugged. What would be the harm in him knowing? Well, there was possible harm in it; Beobyra wasn’t as tolerant with for example accidental childbirth as Peosana was. Yet, he found that he kind of wanted to tell the other.

“’lright,” he agreed, and felt his soul skip a beat as Razz smiled. The other looked almost happy. Probably because he finally got his way in something, but still. It felt weirdly good.

“once upon a time-” he began, staring at the cabin roof. “-there was a woman. ‘er name was eila. ‘cause o’ where ‘n’ how she’d been born, she ‘ad been forced to go into prostitution. not th’ fine kind, like blueberry. she didn’ work at a brothel, neither did she actually ‘ave a place to service ‘er customers. eila was th’ back-alley and cheap inns kind of whore. one day, she ‘ad a client who accidentally left ‘er pregnant. don’ know who, don’ care. ‘nfortunately, she died givin’ birth. twins. th’ newborn skeleton brothers were raised by their uncle ‘n’ their mother’s cousin, who shared th’ same profession.”

“th’ bros lived on th’ backstreets o’ cherlian – th’ capital – durin’ their entire childhood. did wha’ they could t’ survive. stole ‘n’ did a whole lot o’ weird jobs. lived in near-starvation ‘n’ misery but they ‘n’ their family lived. when they turned ten-’n’-four, the brothers had had enough. they decided ta try their luck elsewhere. they left cherlian, ‘n’ decided ta travel ta th’ coast. by walkin’ ‘n’ stealin’ rides a’ carriages they reached drahenport sal – th’ capital o’ th’ neighbourin’ country – ‘n’ did their best ta make a livin’.”

“drahenport sal has a big underworld. th’ brothers found their way into ‘t ‘n’ did wha’ they could ta earn money. tha’ included fightin’. backstreet battle rings were very popular. neither o’ ‘em had any real trainin’, but they had powerful magic ‘n’ did pretty good. then one day one o’ ‘em wanted ta try to take on th’ big fishes – literally. th’ rulin’ master o’ the rings was a fish monster a few years older than ‘em who ‘ad run away from home since she didn’ want ta marry or work with trade like ‘er family. she wanted ta fight. ‘n’ he decided ta battle ‘er. stupid decision, really, but he refused t’ listen ta reason.”

“so ya know. he fought ‘er. she beat ‘im into th’ ground, o’ course. she actually had trainin’ ‘n’ a lot more experience. she could’ve killed ‘im, but she didn’. th’ fish ‘ad taken a likin’ to th’ young skeleton who dared t’ fight ‘er and refused ta back down. so she took the brothers in. taught ‘em ta fight fer real. the three o’ ‘em became their own lil’ family. a couple years later, when th’ bros were ten-‘n’-seven and th’ fish was twenty-‘n’-one, they’d ‘ad enough o’ th’ city.”

“young ‘n’ stupid as they were, they stole a ship. which they quickly sank, ‘cause they had no idea how to steer or handle a ship. ‘t was a wonder they got ‘t out on th’ sea at all. but they were incredibly stubborn ‘n’ the ocean was exciting ‘n’ pirates were cool, so they taught ‘emselves. listenin' ta sailors comin’ ta th’ pubs in town ‘n’ sneaking onboard on th’ ships in th’ harbour. eventually they understood, and while they did they met some more monsters ‘n’ humans who wanted ta leave. they stole ‘nother ship ‘n’ named her sarynthia – one o’ the skeletons idea. ‘n’ they became pirates ‘cause whatever else was there in life? fightin' in rings fer th’ betting money and livin’ in th’ slums? nah. th’ sea’s life ‘n’ this life is true freedom ‘n’ independence. never restin’ ‘n’ never restrictin’.”

“well!” A loud slap was heard as Red clapped his hands together, grinning widely. Razz jumped at the unexpected sound. He turned his gaze from the roof to Razz, a teasing glance in his eyelights. “th’ one that fought undyne was my bro, if ya didn’t figure tha’ out yerself. tha’s my life’s story. wanna tell me yours?”

As expected, Razz frowned at him. His expression was hard to read, nearly closed off but not quite. There was hesitance, and some amount of disgust, and also something that almost looked like pity. As well as something he couldn’t read, but it was softer than Razz’s usual expressions. All to be expected, except the last one. Red grinned wider, trying to show he didn’t need any pity – or want it. Their life had been hard, but hey, it all turned out great. If they avoided the gallows at least. And if they ended up there, at least they’d lived an exciting life.

If he was being honest, after this stupid plan they were quite likely to end up hung from Thyragård’s walls – if they even came that far. Red waved the thought away. He wasn’t going to be honest with himself this time, nope.

“YOU’RE A BASTARD,” Razz stated after a moment of silence. Blinking, Red studied him. There the mild disgust was. He held in a snort, even if the dislike on the other’s face made an unpleasant feeling creep up his spine. He felt slightly self-conscious about not knowing who his father was for the first time in his life.

“i suppose i am,” he said with a shrug, keeping the unconcerned look on his face. “tha’ doesn’ really matter in Peosana, yanno. as long as ya know who yer family ‘n’ yer ancestors are, then yer fine. if ya don’t, on th’ other hand, then yer born to th’ bad graces o’ society. we know half o’ them, so we’re not as good as th’ people who can count generations back but we’re not complete outcasts a’ least.”

“HOW ODD,” the other mused, smoothing out his light pink skirt carefully. It was a pretty dress, Red had to admit. Razz looked contemplative as he looked up from his skirt and studied Red again. Why did he keep doing that?

There were a few moments where neither of them spoke, and Red felt uncomfortableness rising in him again. Eventually he cleared his throat.

“oh, ‘n’ th’ captain said ya can play on carai zalû, by th’ way,” he said, grinning as the other blinked and a bright smile of relief lit up the queen’s face. “not th’ sacred songs o’ course, ‘n’ i doubt ya know them anyway – they’re well-guarded – but some folksongs and popular music. congrats. yer goin’ ta be th’ first beobyrian royal – perhaps th’ first beobyrian – ta celebrate a peosani holiday with peosanira.”

“I WOULD BE HONOURED IF THE ONLY REASON HADN’T BEEN MY KIDNAPPING,” the other said dryly, waving the needle and pointing it accusingly toward him. He’d taken up his embroidery again as Red spoke. “YOU’VE GOT A LOT OF FEASTS, HAVEN’T YOU?”

At that, Red laughed, and nodded. More than he could count. Which admittedly wasn’t long. He reached in under his coat and scratched his arm as he stood. Walking over to the bookcase, he let his fingers travel over a few of the book backs. One of them bore the insignia of Peosana; a golden oak tree on light grey background. It symbolized their (former) biggest sources of income and work; oak and diamonds.

“sure do. there’s carai zaña, elinya, saranha, valhanha, demathava, alithava, pravannalava, carawi-“

“I GET IT!” Razz interrupted him, waving his hands a bit frantically. “BUT WHY?”

“we’ve got a lot o’ gods ‘n’ every single one wants a party. which is understandable if ya ask me.” He turned the pages in one of the books. This one was full of colourful pictures, which was a reason he liked it. Gave him an idea of what it was that happened in the book. He guessed this one was about an evil princess kidnapping some noble. A dragon saved them in the end, it appeared. Seemed like a good story. He’d have to ask Undyne to read it for him and Fell sometime. “well, majesty, i’ve got ta go.”

As he put the book back and made his way toward the door, a hand grabbed his. As he turned back, the first thing he saw was Razz’s big, purple eyelights.

“WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO LEAVE SO SOON?” the other asked, sounding almost a bit pleading. Red blinked, and then sighed.

“i’ve got work, yanno,” he pointed out, but didn’t insist. He sat back down on the wooden chair. The triumphant expression on Razz’s face was almost… cute.

Wait.