I found out that there is a position with the National Parks Service as a photographer, which would entail taking gorgeous large format photos of our national parks, architecture, and other breathtaking places that I would love to travel to. 

Instead of going “oh yeah I’m gonna apply”, and essentially fail to follow through, I actually went ahead and applied for it. Within the application though, I found that I am probably not the best candidate for the position because there were several aspects of the position that had me select “I have no training/education on this” or “I have had education on this but no experience doing so” (at least in the simplest terms). 

At least I can say I applied for it, but it already hurts. I won’t be getting the position, despite the amount of care I know I would put into the expeditions and set up of the camera and timing the right moment to capture what I see before me. I won’t get paid to travel to places I’ve yet to see, and to be able to pay off my loans by doing the one thing I would be happy doing for the rest of my life.

I can dream. And I can continue trying to perfect my photo skills. But for the moment, I will curse at myself for not doing enough to get the experience I “need” for the various places I’ve attempted applications for.