#ukai

~~~

"Your...sister?" Tokoyami wondered if he had misheard on account of the wind up on the rooftop of Hawks' old agency.

"That's right," Hawks answered impassively.

"I...did not realize you had any siblings."

You chimed in, "Oh yeah you wouldn't have, he's embarrassed by me, so." Your tone was light, joking. At the very least, you seemed to share Hawks' nonchalance. That, and triangle markings to either side of each eye. Though, while Hawks' gave a natural 'winged' look, yours lingered at the outer bottom corners, giving your eyes a sort of perpetual sadness.

Even Hawks scoffed, his signature easy smile still tugging at his lips. "I didn't know either, up until several months ago. Her quirk's a lot like mine, but, she doesn't know how to use it."

It all clicked into place then. Tokoyami exhaled heavily, trying not to be too obvious with his disappointment. "That is why you have summoned me?"

Hawks shrugged. "You've been the one trying to get in touch, asking if there was anything you could do for me. Seriously appreciate it, Tsukuyomi, I couldn't trust this to anybody else!" He was already walking away, heading for the access door back down into the building. "Take care, you guys! Have fun!"

An uncomfortable silence settled after he left. Tokoyami had half a mind to follow and give Hawks a piece of his. Couldn't trust this to anybody else, what nonsense, just lip service to flatter him into not being outright insulted. Did he truly come off so desperate?

"So, uh, do I go with Tsukuyomi? Or Tokoyami? I'm not sure what the etiquette is with the hero name, thing."

Right. He had a charge now. "...whichever you are partial towards, I suppose." He sighed, spreading his arms as he resigned himself to his unexpected task. "Dark Shadow."

Your eyes widened as the dark entity erupted from Tokoyami's belly. The partly cloudy sky offered some relief from the late afternoon sun, allowing the quirk some independence as it curiously considered you.

"Wh-whoa..." Your face broke into a grin as you moved forward, facing the shadow head on as you matched its curiosity. "Is this like, an extension of you?"

"Hmph! No, he's just the one with the legs, I do all the work!" Dark Shadow corrected in a snarky tone.

You appeared alarmed, then outright delighted. "Oh wow! Sorry, I didn't realize! That's so cool. Are you a quirk or twins? What should I call you?"

The quirk seemed pleasantly surprised to be addressed directly, puffing up his ethereal feathers proudly. "I am cool. Kind of both. Dark Shadow."

"Nice to meet you, Shadow~"

As he watched you shake hands with his tittering quirk, Fumikage wondered why he felt so irked by how you seemed to get on better with his outgoing quirk than himself.

~~~

"Try again," Tokoyami sighed. By now, it had become a mantra. Overcoming a physical limitation was one thing; a mental block was much harder, and calling you a nervous flyer would be an understatement. This time, it was a sudden gust that made you panic and drop back to the roof. The time before that, the distant chime of a clock. Most other times? Nothing at all.

At some point you had gotten too close to the edge of the building while your untrained wings flapped erratically. When Dark Shadow retrieved you from a near drop, you admitted a fear of heights. But oh no, not a fear, 'just kinda nervous about being so high up.'

Tokoyami heaved another heavy sigh as you dropped again with a small shriek. He didn't intend for you to hear it, but, evidently, you did, judging by the way you sheepishly rubbed your head and pulled your wings in tight to your back.

"Maybe we, ah, call it a day. I'm sure you've got way more important stuff to do than watch me fall on my ass all night."

"Giving up?" He quipped dryly, and instantly regretted it when he saw the startled hurt on your face.

"I mean, you don't wanna be here, I don't really wanna do this, so, what's the point?"

It wasn't a real question, but he answered anyway. "Hawks requested that I assist in this matter, so-" The growing grimace on your face made him pause.

"I am really, truly sorry, I know you don't want to do this and Keigo probably tricked you into coming here so he could dump me on you and I am SO sorry for that." Your voice trembled as you pled forgiveness for your existence. "This isn't what I wanted either, yanno?"

"...I, don't know," he managed, put off by your emotions trying to lay themselves bare.

"I thought, when Keigo said it would be a flying lesson, it would be him?"

"...But, he can no longer fly."

"I know, I know, it was stupid, but I figured I can't either, he might just talk me through it a little? I don't... I'm not even sure I want to fly, I just thought he wanted to spend time with me?"

Tokoyami grew alert when the first sob hiccupped past your lips. "Are you alright?" It was a foolish question. Perhaps a callous one too, as it only made you cry harder, shaking your head.

"No, I, he's all that's left but I'm no use I'm a burden on him, or maybe just annoying, or nothing, I feel like nothing, and now I'm bothering you! And I get why no one wants to be around me but I don't want to be alone! I wake up sometimes and I think I might be a ghost because there's nobody to see me. It, fucking, I hate this!"

Tokoyami watched, stunned, as you sunk down, clumsily finding a seat on a slightly raised slab of cement, pawing around due to the tears blinding you. He hadn't been alone in over a decade. Sometimes he resented the lack of privacy, sure, but for the most part, Shadow's presence was a comfort, a constant, a dark nest for his soul.

To be alone, truly alone, was something he had trouble imagining. A frightful notion.

Discomfort filled the space between you, backed by the sound of sobs you tried so hard to repress. So, Fumikage attempted to at least shrink that space. You didn't react to the sound of approaching footsteps, though, you did seem to tense up when he took a seat beside you.

"Hawks can be quite inconsiderate. And it seems that in his lack of consideration for my time and your feelings, he has put us in a difficult position together." A hand shot to his crest, fidgeting until he plucked an unruly feather to brush aside. "That is to say, I do not hold any of this against you. Just so you know."

You glanced sidelong at him, leaving your tear stained cheeks to rest in your palms as the both of you sat in uncomfortable silence. Until, finally, you broke that silence by mumbling bitterly, "In disappointment we are perfectly matched."

Familiarity jabbed at Tokoyami, and he squinted at you. "... was that not a reference from Corpse Bride?"

Despite the sullen mood, you snorted. "It waaas," you admitted.

"...I always liked that movie."

"Wow, I never would have guessed that you enjoy Tim Burton."

He gave you a flat look, which you returned. Until the facade broke, and you were left giggling as you wiped your face, while Tokoyami allowed himself a subtle chuff of laughter. He stood, brushed off the seat of his trousers, and offered a hand.

"Enough of this charade. Allow me to escort you home."

~~~

Tokoyami instantly recognized the apartment as the one he had followed Hawks to once, along with Mineta and Midoriya. It was less bland than last time, now adorned with what he assumed were your own more personal touches. "Hawks let you make the place your own, I see."

"Hm? Oh, yeah, he even let me replace the furniture," you called from the kitchen, where you were putting on a kettle of water for tea.

"He didn't mind?"

"Nnno, why would he?"

"It's...his home?" Doubt reared its head.

You shrugged as you walked into the sitting room. "Not really. This is just some place the Commission gave him, he lives somewhere else. He let me have it to myself."

Tokoyami brushed aside his disappointment with a deep breath. "Ah. I see." Of course. He oughtn't be shocked by that sort of deception at this point.

Disappointment was promptly replaced with surprise when you called, "listen, I made chicken curry last night, I was just going to reheat that for dinner, you want some?"

"I, don't want to intrude," he stammered.

"No, really, it's no problem! I made a ton so I'd have meals through the week, and who knows if Keigo is going to drop by."

Your words returned to him then: I don't want to be alone.

The sympathetic part of him wanted to stay to provide the companionship you so desperately craved. The wicked, curious part of him ached to take advantage of this opportunity to learn more about Hawks. So, with all sides in agreement, he swept over to the couch to take a seat.

~~~

"Thank you for the meal." Fumikage nodded his head when you handed him a bowl.

You waved him off cheerfully. "Sorry it's just leftovers, I'd make something fresh if I had the energy for it. It's impressive how much training you hero types do, that was awwwful!"

An amused smirk tugged at his beak as Fumi dug in. "No need to be sorry, this is most palatable."

"And we're sure Shadow doesn't want some?"

"Kind though you are to offer, Dark Shadow lacks the biological systems to take nourishment as we can." He glanced up as you sat at the cushion across the table from him. "So, it's just you here?"

"Mostly, yeah. Keigo stops by to check in every week or so. I kinda want a pet, but I'm not sure how to ask." You tilted your head at him. "You know Keigo pretty well, does he like animals?"

"I am not entirely sure. He has never shown any particular aversion, however. He does not freely give personal details like that, honestly."

"Still, you know him better than I do."

Tokoyami silently considered you for a beat, then blurted, "so you really didn't know him until recently?"

You shrugged, wearing a smile that appeared blithe but he sensed was secretly uncomfortable. "I didn't know about him until recently. As far as I knew, I was an only child, and my father died before I was born. Then these sketchy guys show up, interrogate me and mom, and bam. Turns out I got a brother that mom like, basically sold to the government or something? After our dad was arrested? Crazy right?"

A sour feeling settled in Tokoyami's belly. A feeling that he had misjudged just how forthcoming you were compared to your brother, and thus dug too deep.

Then why wouldn't his damned tongue stop digging. "And, your mother?"

"...gone." There was ice beneath your attempt to sound nonchalant.

"I am sorry, for your loss."

You were quiet for a minute, taking a few bites. Before he could apologize again for his carelessness, you explained in a tense voice, "...I didn't lose her, she just left. Guess she figured I would be a burden if she tried to evacuate with me. So now I'm the albatross around Keigo's neck." You took another bite. Your cheerful tone returned, though now it was clear that your joking belied pain. "Better be careful, he's already trying to pass me off to you."

Tokoyami placed his chopsticks down on the half-eaten bowl of curry and rice. There was a subtle flash of fear in your eyes; fear of him heeding your warning, fleeing, leaving you back in that horrible, gnawing loneliness.

Instead, he spoke, though it took a moment to find the proper comforting words. "...when I first trained with Hawks, he told me that those who can fly, should. I think, Hawks, genuinely wants you to fly. Which is why he found you a tutor who can. Not because he wants to be rid of you; because he wants you to find the freedom that flight brings."

The candid encouragement blindsided you. So, again, you answered it with jest. "Ah...here I was hoping it would be a relief for him if we were both flightless birds."

"You're not flightless. You just need to develop confidence."

"And to get over my vertigo."

"Is it vertigo?" He asked pointedly.

You looked at him, considering the question a moment, before actually granting him a serious answer. "I dunno. I just prefer the feeling of my feet on your ground." How could you not, when the ground beneath your feet was the most reliable source of support in your life?

"Understandable. But it would be nice to be able to trust your wings as well. Next time, perhaps we will try somewhere less intimidating."

"Next time?"

"Well, yes." He watched you fidget nervously, before adding, "did you not want to?"

"I don't know," you admitted with a soft laugh. "I don't want to put you out. And it will probably take me a long time to actually get it, so, that could get frustrating."

"If you just don't want to, that's fine." You watched as Tokoyami took a pen from his pocket, and scrawled a series of digits on a napkin. "But, should you ever decide you'd like to try flying for yourself, then please-"

Background

Tomie Takami (later Ukai) was in the early stages of pregnancy when her husband was arrested. Her son Keigo had already been given to the Commission by the time she realized you were on the way.

This puts you roughly at an age with the class 1A crowd.

You didn't even know you had a brother until the day Dabi sent PLF underlings to question your mother. When Tomie fled the country, she left you behind. Hawks discovered you at the house, traumatized by the home invasion & subsequent abandonment.

Though he was just as surprised to learn he had a sibling, Keigo helped you get to a shelter. After the war, he invites you to stay with him, and you agree that he will become your legal guardian (as your closest relative who is not incarcerated or on the run).

It's a little awkward at times, and you aren't super close at first. Keigo has aggressively compartmentalized his life up til now. He feels effectively cut off from his past, and the sudden family bond throws a wrench in that.

He thinks the best method to deal with this new arrangement is to give you space. He lets you live in the second apartment that the commission set him up with years ago, while he mostly sticks to his primary residence.

Meanwhile you don't want to be a burden so you try not to interrupt his life at all, quietly going about your routine and keeping to yourself, holding all that nastiness inside where it can't bother anyone while it eats away at you.

He pieces things together bit by bit. Picks up on the nervous looks you try to hide. The way you apologize too much. Then it hits him; his mother had been neglectful at best when he was little, who knows how she was raising a child alone.

So he tries to visit occasionally. And those visits get more frequent as he realizes he likes hanging out. You were a bit awkward around him at first, but as you come out of your shell, he finds that you're funny, bright, caring.

You seem to view him as a person, not just Hawks the pro hero. Most of his life has revolved around the Hawks persona. Since losing his quirk, and therefore that role, it helps to have some sense of identity again. It's grounding, in a good way.

He is MORTIFIED to learn that you've never flown. As much as he would have liked to be the one to teach you, that is sadly no longer an option. Luckily, he has a former intern he can push this task onto...