#ughhgg

I rather die than marry. I’d rather be dirt poor with no one who cares about me, no job, and suffer through another world war than ever put a ring on my finger. My mom was talking about some son that her friend has that would be good for me in the future. “If you don’t like boys I can get you a girl!!” No you aren’t LISTENING to me, I’m not marrying anyone oh my God. And now she’s mad at me saying that she doesn’t care who it is but I’ll marry SOMEONE and she wants grandkids before she dies and “you don’t have a choice”???? Don’t have a choice??? I’m not marrying. I’m not dating. I’m not involving myself in romance. But I can tell she’s serious and I’m so fucking scared like what do I do??? I don’t wanna end up like my mom. Me and my sister literally ruined her life and now all she has is this life and I don’t wanna be like that. Am I gonna end my life early? Have kids and be a wife that someone wants? That scares me more than dying. I rather die. It’s been so hard to not act disgusted at the mere mention of my life involving another person romantically. Now she’s saying I’m getting married as soon as I’m able to, and now I feel like my life is gonna be over when that time comes. I don’t want to. I just want to be happy. I’m never going to be happy if I’m forced to have kids and a partner I don’t even want. I don’t know what to do, and this hurts my head to keep all inside. I don’t wanna turn into my mom. I’ll do anything it takes to become a woman no boy or girl wants to marry. I’ll become the most unlikeable person on this earth. Just please don’t love me.

Im gonna get up now and wash the bathroom and when i come back i will tell myself that i did an amazing job and im proud of myself and im not gonna put it off any longer. #Mantra

DAT IS FRIDA KAHLO KOM OP ZEG

u

tfw someone u blockeds post is on ur dash