#uber fic

Sailor Venus: Sir Kay

Sailor Mars: Sir Lancelot

Sailor Mercury: Sir Bedevere

Sailor Jupiter: Sir Gawain

Sailor Uranus: Sir Tristan

Sailor Neptune: L'belle Isolde

Sailor Saturn: Sir Percival

Sailor Pluto: Vivian

Sailor Chibi Moon: Sir Mordred

Tuxedo Mask: Lady Guinevere

Luna: Nimue

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PREVIEW:

"A knock on their cheap, wooden, vandalized door woke them from their five day binge of alcohol, drugs and Jerry Springer.

Ares was the first occupant of the house to wake up. Untangling his legs and arms from Xena's, he worked himself free of a satin comforter that one of them had unknowingly covered them up in. Standing up and almost tripping over a vodka bottle, he swore loudly and opened the door.

Oh no. Hera and Zeus? What did he do to deserve a visit from them both?

"What do you two want?" he yelled, not at all happy with them just 'dropping in'.

"We came to visit you, dear. You really should be more appreciative. We don't visit all our kids, you know. Ask Hercules," Hera said. "Not that I consider that little asshole 'ours'," she whispered to Zeus.

Spotting a huddled form on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket like a baked potato on a grill, Hera narrowed her bright green eyes. Grabbing a peacock feather out of her purse, she threw it at Xena.

Ares caught it in his fist. "What did you think you were doing?"

"You're still with her?"

"Shut up, Mother."

"Boy, don't speak to your mother like that!" Zeus bellowed from across the room.

"I just did." Ares said, knowing he was acting nothing more than a petulant child, but he couldn't stop himself when his parents were around.

Xena looked at them from her spot within the blankets. Yawning widely, she said, "Do you think you guys could keep it down? I mean, we didn't go to sleep until eight o'clock this morning and I'm really tired."

"It's five in the afternoon!" Zeus said angrily, trying to quell his urge to throw a lightning bolt at her.

"I work third shift," Xena whined, pulling the covers up over her head.

"You don't have a job!" Zeus said, as he aimed a thunderbolt at the pile of blankets and fired."

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PREVIEW:

"Does that mean you bought me that rifle like I wanted?"

"If I told you that would ruin the surprise."

"Well it is my three thousandth birthday. You only turn that once, you know."

"Yes, and it's my ..." Xena trailed off, watching as the man before her finally paid for his products.

"Twenty ninth birthday, I know." He smirked.

Xena stuck out her tongue. "Ya only turn it once, ya know. Old man."

"I resent that," Ares replied, stroking his sideburns.

"Maybe I should get you a wheel chair and a box of depends, huh?"

"Funny."

The cashier turned to Xena. "Hi, how are you today?"

"I'm just fine ..." Xena squinted at the young lady's name tag, "Gabrielle. How are you?"

"Great. You know, working here and all." Gabrielle rolled her eyes and looked at Ares. Mmmm, delicious.

Ares, still stroking his sideburns, wondered how Xena got her basket at the checkout so fast after the blue light special.

Xena put her items on the counter, looking at Gabrielle with trepidation. The little shit better not do a price check.

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Chapters: 13/? Fandom: Original Work, Once Upon a Time (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan Additional Tags: Enemies to Lovers, Angst, Death, Grief/Mourning, Anchors, Rival Sex, Rivalry, Uber Summary:

Three years after losing her partner, news anchor Sofia Kennedy finds herself in a rivalry with a local caterer. Both women are stubborn and unwilling to let the other win, but before long they find themselves skirting the line between love and hate in a way neither woman ever expected.