#ubeep

Hello!

This is an extraordinary announcement before an extraordinary event. We have taken into account all your concerns and your feedback. Therefore, we have made the following updates to My Candy Love for Android, iOS, and PC.

GENERAL GAME IMPROVEMENTS:

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

The following is the list of things that have been fixed and updated in My Candy Love for for Android, iOS and PC.

NEW ITEM: Kiki’s Collar

Use: Instantly summons everyone’s favourite corgi, Kiki! This will cause a branching storyline where you will spend the remainder of the episode trying to catch the dog.

Purchasable from the Dollar Shop for $35,000.

NEW ITEM: The Resolver

Use: The item “The Resolver” has now been added. Want a quick and neat way to end a character arc? The Resolver will be sure to generate a fast and speedy resolution to any plotline*! //!!\ Warning: may not necessarily make sense. //!!\

Purchasable from the Dollar Store for $50,000 *Used automatically upon the commencement of My Candy Love: University Life.

NEW FEATURE: LOST

Ever wanted to solve a mind-bending mystery on your own, only to come away with a disappointing resolution? Now you can do so with your very own LOST mode, where one or more of your favourite characters may be taken by the fog!

NEW FEATURE: MONOLOGUE

Ever wondered what your Candy was thinking? No? Too bad! Now you can! In no less than one hundred lines, you can work out exactly what is on your pixel girl’s mind! Did someone say convenient? We did! Cha-ching!

NEW FEATURE: CHARACTER ANIMATIONS

All of your favourite characters, now with 5% more animation!

GENERAL GAME IMPROVEMENTS:

Increased the AP cost of dialogue. ALL dialogue now costs 10AP per line.

Dialogue also

Is spread across

Several lines

To increase efficiency

And AP expenditure

$$$$$$$

Fixed a bug that caused Kiki’s Collar to only affect one episode. Now, it will carry over to all remaining episodes.

When Kiki’s Collar is in your possession, chances of Kiki appearing are increased by 100000%.

Fixed a bug that caused events to function properly on the day of their release. Convenience? We’re not about that life. Enjoy the free gift of blank screens, mass lag and no correspondence from the team.

Cost of AP per move increased to reduce the risk of you triggering annoying dialogue. Ew, who wants that? (Dialogue also charges you.)

Fixed an issue that caused mild onset of plot to appear. Who needs plot when you have boys? Oh, wait…

There is now a chance that you will be forced to replay your episode from scratch. No, you won’t get the AP you spent earlier back. Who needs AP when we can earn sweet sweet money?

All happy endings have now been overridden. Now your favourite boys are languishing in their own personal, alcoholic, farm-confined hell.

ANIMATION IMPROVEMENTS:

Evaluated a bug that caused character animations to freeze on the most unattractive, derp faces. Decided it was too funny to fix and, by use of the dartboard voting method, it was decided to leave them as such.

NEW CHARACTER:

We have invited Thanos from the Marvel Universe to enrol at Sweet Amoris and gave him the Infinity Gauntlet. Now you too can experience the anxiety of your favourite boys possibly vanishing! Oh, wait.

CHARACTER UPDATES

CASTIEL

Pikachu mode. Click to turn Castiel into Pikachu! After all, Pikachu is everyone’s favourite Pokémon.

NATHANIEL

Party-boy mode. Experience Nat in an alternative universe (lol, jokes. You wish it was AU.)

LYSANDER

Farmville mode. Lysander discovers a newfound love for the game Farmville and moves to a farm to try and re-enact the game.

KENTIN and ARMIN

New number, who dis?

[Scheduled date for Patch 5.06.74824972]

Android: Update scheduled for today.

iOS: Update scheduled for today.

PC: Update scheduled for today.