i can’t fucking sleep. i’m so fucking lonely. there is so much love and desire and want and hurt in my heart and nowhere to put any of it. i’m ugly and stupid and useless and talentless and annoying and pathetic and disgusting and horrible and everything i do fucking sucks but leaving everything or trying to quit would be a fuck up too so im stuck. no matter what i do i don’t get any fucking better. i’m tossing and turning in my bed, i’ve cried, cut, fucked myself just to make it go away i wish there was SOMETHING i could do or say just to make it fucking go away so i can get a few fucking hours of sleep before i go to work in the morning. i can’t get my brain to shut off and once my alarm goes off ill have to wring myself dry for people for 9 fucking hours and then come home and sit in my own filth and the consequences of my stupid actions. i’m tired of repeating this shit over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again and in the end it will have meant nothing to anyone or anything anyways.
