Pairing : Choi San x F!Reader TW : mentions of past cheating ;slight possessiveness ; fighting ; manipulation ; Word Count : 4.4k
Sheās got everything she could ever want, sheās got the man of her dreams, the house of her dreams, sheās living a dream. The entire world envied her, the way her man looked at her with such love in his eyes even when she wasnāt looking back at him, the silver bands that adorned her fingers worth more than most peoples house and cars put together. Sheās the luckiest girl in the world, and she is you.Ā
The necklace that perfectly complimented your outfit was draped carefully around your neck and clasped in the back, delicate fingers tracing lightly over the exposed skin of your neck as you stared at yourself in the vanity mirror. āYou donāt think Iām too overdressed, do you?ā You asked, meeting Sans gaze in the mirror as he rested his chin on your shoulder.Ā
āOf course not, babe. You look amazing.ā San hummed, his hands running up and down your arms that would soon be covered by the thin knitted cardigan that hung on the back of the chair. āIām so lucky I get to sit beside you tonight.ā He murmured against the shell of your ear before pressing a kiss to your cheek.Ā
You couldnāt help but admire him as he stood up straight, the crisp white button up that he was wearing hadnāt even gotten wrinkled while he was leaning over. He always looked good, even when he wasnāt dressed up, but right now, he looked amazing. āThe people who run the event⦠They know that Iāll be there with you too, right?ā You asked, taking one last look at yourself in the mirror before getting up and following him out of the room.Ā
This was an important event for both you and San, him and the guys were being nominated for an award tonight, but this would also be the first event that you and San would be publicly seen together after getting married. There had been a lot of unofficial photographs from reporters and paparazzi that had been released over time, but none of them were truly trustable, this time though, everyone would know itās true.Ā
āOf course they know youāll be there, babe.ā He walked over to you as you slipped on the heels that you knew would end up forgotten on the floor by the first half of the event, letting you use his shoulder to hold yourself steady as you stood up straight. āI made sure they remembered to put an extra two seats at the table, one seat for you thatāll be right beside me, and one seat for your purse.ā He took a step back, his eyes scanning over you as a warm smile graced his features. āYou look absolutely stunning, Iām so lucky.āĀ
You whispered a soft thank you, always feeling shy whenever he complimented you even after having been with him for so long. āAre you ready to go?ā You asked, grabbing your bag off the hook and walking closer to the door, but San held his finger up, motioning for you to wait as he ran to the bedroom, quickly returning with your cardigan. āAh⦠thank you, honey.āĀ
He held it out for you as you slipped your arms in, smoothing out the fabric once it was on your body, his smile growing wider as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. āNow weāre ready to go.ā He said softly, flicking off the lights as his other hand stayed on your lower back, leading you out the door.Ā
You wouldnāt say that San was controlling, you were allowed to do things, you were allowed to go out and hang with friends. San was just⦠very possessive of you. When you were out, he was constantly texting you, asking for pictures, making sure no one was getting too close to you, sometimes heād even call you and ask you to keep the call going in the background just to hear your voice and make sure nothing was going on. Itās not that he didnāt trust you though, he just didnāt trust the world and the people that lived in it. The distrust wasnāt just targeted towards strangers or your friends though, he didnāt even trust his own groupmates, hence why there would be the āpurse chairā as he called it, specifically there to keep the space between you and whatever unfortunate member would be on the opposite side of that chair, on the receiving end of Sans side eye for a majority of the night.Ā
The event venue was packed already, people showing up fashionably early, along with the reporters whose cameras flashed repeatedly in everyone's faces. San didnāt mind at all though, he was more than happy to be seen with you on his arm, your outfits perfectly matched to make you look like the perfect couple, and as of now, it felt like you truly were.Ā
Once the two of you made it through the front doors it was just a matter of finding the table that youād sit at, and that wasnāt a problem considering most of the other guys had already shown up, jumping up from their chairs and waving you and San over. āYou finally made it! Itās a mess out there, how was it getting through?ā Wooyoung said when the two of you made it to the table, Sans hand was now gripping your own, holding it so tightly and so close to himself that he might as well have put your clasped hands in the pocket of his suit jacket.Ā
āWhat do you mean finally? Weāre an hour and a half early?ā San teased as he looked around the table, counting the chairs and then quickly claiming three for you, himself and your bag. āItās crazy out there though, those flashes almost blinded Y/N.ā He said your name with such reverence, smiling to you as he pulled out your chair and then took your purse and placed it on the chair beside you before any of the guys could take the seat. āSpeaking of⦠This is my wife.ā He took his seat, his arm immediately draping over your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze as his other hand lifted the glass of water that was on the table.Ā
āIām glad we get to meet in a more formal setting this time.ā Seunghwa said with a smirk, and you couldnāt help but be confused since this was the first time you had met him and the other guys in general. āIt only took San three months of sneaking you in the dorms to finally marry you, that must be true love there.ā Seunghwa raised his glass and the guys all followed suit, the seven of them wearing smiles as they looked at you and San. āCongratulations.āĀ
It was crazy how Seunghwa, who was just trying to be a little funny, had essentially ruined your marriage, ruined your relationship, and broken your heart all at once. It didnāt take deep thought or some confusing equation for you to add things up. You knew that San and yourself had been together way longer than three months. The marriage certificate had been filled out two months ago, and you had been engaged for five months before that, and even before that, the two of you had been dating steadily for a year and a half. It wasnāt even just the math though, it was the fact that you had never even stepped foot into the dorms, and surely if you had, you wouldnāt have to be snuck in.Ā
Sans body was tense, and you could feel him staring at you out of the corner of his eyes, awaiting your reaction. He knew he fucked up, but there were so many people around, he didnāt want to make a scene and go off on Seunghwa for dropping the bomb. āIām gonna go to the bathroom real quick.ā You said, already pushing your chair back, trying your best to hold onto the calm composure that you had been carrying before you were hit with such news.Ā
āY/Nā¦ā San whispered, grabbing your hand and looking up at you with wide eyes that were screaming at you to stay. He knew you were pissed, he just didnāt exactly know what that would mean. You used your free hand to grab your purse, slinging it over your shoulder as you tried to pull away without making it too obvious. āWhy are you taking your purse, I can watch it?āĀ
āFor lady reasonsā¦ā You whispered right back, proud of how quick your mind was able to come up with an excuse while being so frazzled. āIāll be right back.ā You said to the guys at the table, but you and San knew better, you wouldnāt be back at all. His eyes watched you as you walked away, knowing that this view would be the last heād have of you, at least for the rest of the night.Ā
Of course you werenāt just going to sit there beside him, pretending to be the happy wife of someone that you had just found out cheated on you. It sucked, but what made it worse was the fact that he had done it a month before you got married, and you werenāt sure how long he had been doing it before then either. San didnāt value you, he didnāt cherish you, and you were beginning to believe that he was only so possessive of you because he had a guilty conscience, and he was scared that youād do the same thing he did.Ā
Both your wedding and engagement ring were promptly slid off and left on the sink counter at the venue before walking out and calling yourself a cab. You needed to go home, you needed to think, not about how to fix things, but how to end things without it turning into a big argument. You wouldnāt have been able to do that at the venue, you needed to be alone with your thoughts.Ā
How were you going to end things? It wouldnāt be easy, you knew that. He wouldnāt leave willingly, you knew the kind of person he was. Heād make all kinds of excuses, and then heād try to soften you up, make you forget all about it. You couldnāt let that happen, you knew there was a chance, he was so charming, so manipulative, you wondered if he even knew. You needed time, time to prepare yourself for what was to come.Ā
You started with the hardest task, packing up all of his clothes into his suitcases, and when the suitcases ran out of room, you started tossing his clothes into bags that all ended up lined up at the front door. It would be the first sight to greet him when he walks in. Award shows lasted pretty long, and there were often after parties, although you werenāt sure if San would go to this one. Maybe he would, just to grab a couple drinks before walking into the storm that was awaiting him at home.Ā
Next to go were the pictures, pictures of you and him when you were so happy, so naive, so clueless as to what he was truly doing. He was happy too, and why would he not be? He hadnāt been caught yet, and he was probably under the assumption that he never would be. Thatās the thing about cheaters, about cheating in general⦠Itāll only be so long before things come out, whether itās from their own slip up, or from an unaware friend who has no idea.Ā
The pictures in the frames were promptly trashed, replaced with the original pictures that had once been in there. Pictures of you with friends and family, surrounded by people who loved you, people who would never hurt you. The pictures would serve as a constant reminder to you that even without San there, you still had people there for you.Ā
It didnāt change the fact that you were devastated though. You could remove his clothes from the bedroom, you could remove the pictures from the frames, but you couldnāt get rid of the memories, not this quickly. Anger had fueled you in your quest to pack up and get rid of everything that was his, but once you were done, the only thing you could do was cry. Cry over the years that you wasted, years that had you falling deeper and deeper in love with him until he slipped those two rings on your finger. You had been so excited, planning the wedding venue and looking at wedding dresses, making a list of all the people that you were going to invite. It was all for nothing though, everything that had to do with him was just a waste of time.Ā
Thatās when he came in, of course it would be. He couldnāt walk through the front door when you were emotionally stronger, no⦠He came back when you were weak, sobbing on the couch as you gripped onto the throw pillow. āSo thatās itā¦? You donāt want to talk about it?ā He asked, looking around at the bags on the floor, knowing damn well that his stuff was inside of them.Ā
āWhatās there to talk about?ā You mumbled, turning your head to glance at him over the back of the couch. Your vision was blurry from the tears that filled your eyes, but you saw him, standing in the doorway, shoulders slumped as he watched you. āYou cheated⦠I have nothing to say to you.āĀ
He watched as you got up off the couch, letting you take a few steps before practically running to you, grabbing your arm and turning you around to face him. āYou really want to end it like this? How do you know Seunghwa was telling the truth, huh? You really think Iād cheat on you after proposing to you? Youāre too trusting⦠You believe anythingā¦āĀ
āIs that why you panicked?ā You retorted, trying your best to hold your head high although you were beyond embarrassed, you were humiliated. āYou knew that he was telling the truth, thatās why you got so tense. Thatās how I knew it was the truth.ā You weakly pushed against his chest, sobbing softly as your head shook. āAs if it wasnāt bad enough to be cheated on, it had to be by you. The whole world is going to find out soon enough andā¦ā You sniffled loudly, wiping your tears on your sleeve. āAnd Iām going to be the fool! Not you! So just⦠take your stuff and go⦠please.āĀ
His arms dropped to the side, completely defeated. āIāll goā¦ā He muttered, backing up slowly as his own tears began to fall. There was no point in arguing with you, not right now, not when the wounds were so fresh. You were right, and you had every right to be angry with him. āIāll take as much as I can⦠Iām sorryā¦āĀ
Anger took hold of him as he sped through crowded streets, making his way to the dorms where the guys were most likely just now getting in. One mistake, it was in the past and thatās where he wanted to keep it, but Seunghwa just had to bring it up. What was the point of bringing it up? It was a mistake that he wanted to forget about making. He wasnāt proud of it, he hated himself for doing it, thatās why he clung to you, doted upon you, practically worshiped you. You were Sans everything, and now what? Were you truly done with him? Did you really not want anything to do with him? It was all Seunghwas fault⦠him and his mouthā¦Ā
San stormed into the dorms, the doorknob slamming against the wall and then bouncing back, slamming shut and just further holding the attention of the other guys who sat around in the living room, still slightly drunk from the afterparty. āYah! San, what are you doing?!ā Hongjoong called out, the only one who looked even slightly sober in the group right now.Ā
The few bags that he had been able to take with him from the apartment were dropped onto the floor as he stormed over to Seunghwa, his finger in the older manās face, his hand shaking with his anger. āYou⦠You did this! Why do you talk?!ā San shouted, the other guys finally catching on enough to try to pull him back. āYou ruined everything! I love her! I do! Whyā¦?!ā He was breathing heavily as tears streamed down his face, the guys finally able to get him as far away from Seunghwa as possible in the short moment of weakness.Ā
āWhat are you talking about?ā Seunghwa was genuinely, and rightfully, confused by the sudden outburst, but it was soon replaced by panic as he jumped up, his eyes going wide. āDid I embarrass her? What happened, is she okay?ā His head shook as he ran his hands over his alcohol induced reddened face. āI really didnāt mean to upset her⦠Did something bad happen?āĀ
Everyone in the room was now looking to San for answers, but he could only chuckle humorlessly as he pushed the guys back. āDid something⦠didā¦ā He could barely get the words out as his breaths quickened once more, his nostrils flaring as anger evolved into pure rage. āIām losing my fucking wife! She⦠She kicked me out becauseā¦ā And as quickly as that rage had lit up inside of him, it was burnt out, guilt and regret crashing over him like waves during a storm. āIt wasnāt her⦠I fucked up⦠And I wanted to⦠to forget⦠I didnāt want her to knowā¦ā His voice became a whisper as he slid down the wall, falling to the floor and curling up into himself. āI was drunk⦠and she was out of town⦠and I felt awful about it immediately⦠thatās⦠thatās why I made her leave so early. I didnāt think anyone would be awake⦠I donāt⦠I donāt even drink anymore because Iām so⦠Iām so scared of something like that happening again and⦠I love Y/N⦠I donāt want to lose herā¦āĀ
Seunghwa fell back onto the couch, his face in his hands as heavy sighs escaped him. āItās not my fault⦠How was I supposed to know?ā He muttered, taking a deep breath as he lifted his head to look at San. āYou didnāt tell us anything⦠You didnāt even tell us that you were getting married. We didnāt find out until that meeting with the manager before the show. Then⦠Then you have the nerve to come in here getting mad at me because⦠because I assumed that she was that girl⦠Itās not my fault that you hid your wife.ā He stood up, eyes like daggers glaring at San. āAnd itās not my fault that you cheated on her either.āĀ
āIā¦ā San started, his breath shaky as he pushed himself up off the floor. āI hid her because she was mine! I love her⦠I⦠I didnāt mean to cheat on her, it just⦠It happened and I know that it doesnāt make it any better butā¦ā He sniffled softly as he leaned against the wall, his head falling back as tears streaming down his face. āBut I donāt want to be without her⦠Iā¦ā A sharp gasp shot through his lips as he turned to go into his own room, a room that he hadnāt been in in three months, a room that heād much rather forget even existed along with the memories that lingered beneath the sheets of his bed.Ā
You knocked quickly on the door, a few of the bags that you were able to lug into the building by yourself on the floor beside your feet as you waited for someone to answer. Itās not like no one was home, you could hear the tv from the other side of the door⦠Maybe they just couldnāt hear you? So you knocked louder, your fist hurting from the force behind it. āYah! Open the damn-ā Before you could get the last word out, the door swung open, and there he was.Ā
āY/Nā¦ā San whispered your name, his eyes wide and already welling with tears the moment he looked at you. āYouāre hereā¦ā A shaky hand ran through his hair as he took a step back, motioning for you to come inside. āIām making ramen⦠If you want some. I have other food too, I always keep all your favorites⦠Iāve been waiting for⦠I⦠I miss you.āĀ
God, why were you crying? He hurt you? And why should he be crying when you were the one whoās gone through three months of pain because of him? āI just came to drop off the rest of your things.ā You said, avoiding eye contact, knowing that the more you looked at him, the more youād be hurt. āI was only able to carry up a little⦠The rest is in my car. You can come down and get it⦠Or not. I donāt care. Iāve waited for you to come pick it up long enough though.āĀ
āI didnāt want to pick it up⦠I thought that youād ask me to come back at some point.ā Of course heād think that. You didnāt have time to play this game with him, and going back and forth would only cause you both more heartache. You quickly turned on your heel, if he wasnāt going to get his stuff, youād just give it to people who need it. āW-Wait⦠Donāt leave⦠Donāt leave meā¦ā He grabbed your elbow, yanking you back to him until you crashed against his chest. āYou donāt know how hard itās been⦠Without you⦠I feel like I could die⦠I hate it⦠I hate not being with you.āĀ
āI⦠donāt know how hard itās been?ā You repeated breathlessly, scoffing as you pushed him back. āYou donāt know! First I get cheated on by you and I find out about it three months later and then⦠I canāt even leave my own house with reporters and paparazzi shoving their stupid cameras in my face and asking why they havenāt seen us together and why I wasnāt still at the award show when you made your speech. And for some reason I care about you too much to tell them the truth⦠So Iām the bad oneā¦ā You watched as his face fell, his arms still outstretched as if to wrap around you. āYou feel like you could die⦠But I wish I would. You donāt know what itās like to constantly be attacked and not be able to say anything⦠I donāt know why I still protect you⦠Just⦠Get your things so I can go.āĀ
āIāll tell them⦠Iāll publically announce what I did just so theyāll leave you alone.ā He grabbed your hand again, this time just holding it tightly, terrified that if he let you go once more that youād finally leave. āJust stay with me⦠I want to work this out⦠I donāt want to lose you. I donāt care what happens with the group or anything, I donāt care what the fans think of me, or what the agency says⦠I made a mistake and Iāll pay for it, but I swear on everything, Iāve never made that mistake again. I donāt even drink, I donāt go out unless itās with you.āĀ
He kept pulling you closer, and you were tired of trying to pull away, itās not like it would do any good, heād just keep pulling you back, and as much as you tried to ignore the feelings, you missed him, you missed his touch, his hugs, his kisses. You missed everything about him. āWhy do they hate me so much⦠They donāt know me⦠They donāt know what Iām going through. They donāt know what you did to meā¦ā You allowed yourself to fall once again against his chest, and this time he pulled you further into the dorms, shutting the door behind you and moved you to the couch.Ā
āThey hate you because theyāre not you.ā He responded matter of factly, brushing his hand over your hair as he pulled you down onto the couch beside him. āTheyāll know what Iāve done, and theyāll know how lucky I am to have a wonderful woman that sticks beside me, even though Iām an idiot⦠I know I donāt deserve you⦠But I donāt want to live without you either.ā
āYahā¦ā You muttered, sniffling softly and pulling back to look at him. āWh-Who said I was still your wife? Youāre an idiot⦠Choi San⦠And I donāt marry idiotsā¦ā You mumbled, turning your back to him to stare out the window.Ā
You felt the couch vibrate with his silent laughter, his arms snaking around your waist as his chin rested on your shoulder. āWell⦠Maybe you can give this idiot a chance⦠Just one? Just one chance to prove that heās madly in love with you, and would do anything to keep you⦠Please.ā His lips pressed against your neck, and you swore it felt like electricity coursing through your veins.Ā
āSuch an idiotā¦ā You grumbled, although you felt yourself instinctively leaning back against him until you were leaning once more against his chest, his arms still tightly surrounding you, and truthfully, in his arms was the only place you ever wanted to be.Ā
āAh⦠but youāre also madly in love with this idiot⦠so let me help you out here.ā His tone was lighter now, and you could still feel his body shaking with his laughter as he fumbled in his pockets. āMy beautiful wife, your hand looked so empty without your rings⦠How could you possibly forget them in the restroom?ā He teased, grabbing your hand and quickly slipping the band back onto your ring finger. āMuch better⦠Right?āĀ
You turned your head to stick your tongue out at him, but his lips quickly crashed against yours and you hated how much you realized you needed him at that moment, how happy you were to finally have him back. You trusted him though, and as much as he had hurt you and humiliated you, you loved him. āMmā¦ā You hummed once he finally pulled back, holding your hand up to look at the rings that were finally back in their rightful spot. āLetās go home⦠We have a lot of unpacking to do.āĀ











