#txf closure

Well, did Samantha's soul really become one of the stars? Yes... And no?

Watching this ep made me reflect on everything I know about Mulder's relationship with spirituality and souls, especially in the context of religion. In 1x04 "Conduit," we get a first glimpse of how Samantha's abduction and religion intersect for Mulder. He's sitting in a church, sobbing, a photo of Samantha in his hands, head bowed. After this, though, any time religion comes up, be it from Scully or in a case, Mulder is dismissive and presents as an atheist.

My theory is that religion was what his family fell back on when Samantha was taken. When investigations were turning up nothing, I believe they tried to turn to God. Of course, since nothing came of this either, I feel that Mulder associated God and religion with fruitless prayer and wasteful inaction. I'm sure there are quotes from him in many religious-focus eps that would support this view and have overlaps with Samantha being missing (sorry I don't have the spoons to go back and track everything, but maybe on a rewatch...). But despite all of this history with religion, we hear that iconic line for the first time over that church scene: Mulder says, "I want to believe." He wants to believe that his sister is still alive, yes. But on the opposite side of that, in the context of the church scene, it also feels like a prayer, a belief in the opposite direction: "I want to believe her soul is safe, and at peace, if she is dead."

So what does this have to do with "Closure"? A young girl is kidnapped and Mulder's mother dies. Scully is right: he's in an incredibly vulnerable emotional state. And as he says himself, he wants it to end. He wants that wound he's had over Samantha's disappearance to finally close. This is perhaps because he wants to start a new life with Scully or because there's no family left to reunite, with his mom and dad both dead. Perhaps it's simply because he's just so tired of searching.

He was so sceptical of psychics and souls and God. Why, suddenly, does this ep start with him monologuing about God, about him "wanting to believe so badly... Wanting to believe in God's eternal recompense and sadness"? It's because he's done with chasing Samantha or at this point, Samantha's ghost. He knows that she is very likely dead. So when he wanders into the forest in that last scene, and says goodbye to her soul, he's accepting his other belief: the one that she is dead, but her soul is at peace. Personally, I think like the hypnosis tape, Mulder saw what he wanted to see. That's very in character. I'm of the belief that forest scene was imagined by Mulder, but I think it can be interpreted either way. What's important here is when Mulder returns from the forest, the psychic is a perfect example of Mulder pre-acceptance to act as a contrast to this new Mulder.

As a last point, I think we tend to think about Mulder's influence on Scully and how over time, she's become more and more open to answers of aliens and the supernatural. But I think what's less discussed is Scully's effect on Mulder. That night when they were together after his mom died, what did Scully say? I have a feeling her Catholic leanings may have come up. She may have tried to comfort him in a way she knew: her belief that souls end up with God or in a better place. There's no weakness in believing that our loved ones are safe even in death. It's a comfort that many people need in order to heal. Mulder needed this.

Samantha disappeared from a locked room, CSM close at hand. Anything could have happened that night and Mulder must know this. But he doesn't press the matter. Hell, he doesn't even want to go talk to the nurse himself. Because, again, he says it himself that this is "the end of the road." He has come to terms with himself and his wound. He's ready to let go of Samantha. He's ready to place her "in the stars" with his other beliefs.