#tw snake

ITS CALLED THE LIMESTONE EYELASH PIT VIPER. THAT iS SO CUTE. ITS SO PRETTY

REVENGED LOVE | 1.01 • Grudges Shall Always Be Avenged → Chi Cheng & Green-eyed Monster

For fun here’s the sick goober (prairie ringneck snake, harmless) who lead to me figuring this out. He was in a lot of pain so I don’t blame him for musking me when I caught him to take to the wildlife rehab I volunteered at. At least on Release Day he didn’t musk me.

Despite what you might think, it wasn't even out of spite.

Since Virgil hasn't been around Janus for a while, he low-key forgets Janus even has a snake form to begin with (he seldom takes that form as-is) so one afternoon post redux, Janus decides he deserves a little sun nap out in the open.

"No one is around? The coast is clear? Aww yiss" <- Janus probably, who has taken the form of a small hognose snake.

He curls up on the couch, right where a sunbeam is hitting one of the cushions.

He blends in vaguely against the upholstery, so when Virgil goes to sit down after a long day...

Well. You can imagine how that goes.

Anxious caveman brain kicks in and suddenly Jan becomes a living projectile flying head over tail in a perfect arc across the living room, probably hitting Roman in the face in a series of extremely funny but very unfortunate events.

Virgil screams. Roman screams. Janus' tiny mouth opens in the silent snake equivalent of a scream.

Good times had by all, obviously.

Not to mention, hognoses are famous for playing dead when they feel threatened, and that's exactly what Janus does in the immediate aftermath and confusion, cue Prinxiety panicking together briefly.

Janus is limping around for like a solid week after the fact, mostly in his human form, and makes a point of doing it in front of Virgil to make him feel bad. He leans heavily on his cane/shepherd's crook to get around, and Virgil feels guilty enough about the whole ordeal that he even apologizes.

Patton is kind enough to nurse Janus back to health, doting on him in both his human and hognose form until he gets better. Roman automatically shrieks and unsheathes his sword one morning after he catches sight of Deceit coiled snuggly and securely around Patton's shoulders like a scarf, which delights Patton to no end.

("How do you like my fancy new boa, Logan? Pretty snazzy, huh?"

"For the last time, he is a hognose."

Caught between the two of them, Janus hisses out something that comes dangerously close to a sigh.)

And maybe Janus secretly enjoys being toted around and cherished like a pet, though he'd never be caught dead admitting it. He likes the safety of being on someone's shoulders, high above everything else and siphoning body heat like a leech.

He even gets a special soothing heating pad to lay on for his troubles, it's brightly colored to contrast the couch to avoid any repeats of what has been dubbed The Incident™

He is in heaven. If snakes could purr, he would.

It's probably the longest he's ever kept up his snake form, and maybe the ruse continues past the point where he's healed.

The fairy Elenore belongs to @brainlessbaguette, silly little gal with a silly little snake named Dapperling

Fatima and Andromeda belong to psyk1k, saddest yuri of the year

Dexter belongs to @twinklefwinkle, and he has cooler hair than I could ever dream to have

And Bunny belongs to @clowns0up-felix, with the raddest boots I have ever seen. Holy shit. Drip