#tvab

-Bliss-the last cassette I bought “in real time.” Your dark, mysterious tone, your driving intensity of the last, repeated chorus, the timbre and tone of Tori’s voice (here and throughout the record), the “weird Tori-“ness of the verses, the “I said”’s. So freaking good

-Juarez-Bliss is fantastic, but it was when I heard Juarez for the first time, I KNEW this record would be thebomb.com. Only T could make just 3 piano notes so haunting and effective. The percussion, the “rubber band” twanging sound (obsessed) the background harmony, the lyrics, the breathy vocals and the way they trail off at the end of some of the lines. I always envision a purple desert(all the songs are purple. The songs and the album art mirror each other completely)

-Concertina-so light and airy, with some slightly jagged edges from guitar

-Glory Of The 80’s-it always tickles me that there’s HARPSICHORD in the very beginning. Another thing only T could do, make harpsi work in a song set in space. “Orbiting around”,always reminds me of Black Dove for some reason. Yaaaas Bugle Boy Models, Silicon Party Barbies, drag kings called Venus, and “karma drawn up in lines”-a nod to the prevalence of coke during the decadent decade! And yes, I bought The Story of O (in the wild at a used book store) because of this song

-Lust- my sweet, sweet, girl. You’re absolutely “one of my best friends out of all the songs,” and one of my most used phone alarms. Beautiful, ethereal lyrics, and a piano refrain that, like the slithery keyboard of Riot Poof’s chorus, never, ever, ever loses her shine. I listened to this song a lot when I was homesick at college. Love, love, love. She lives inside my bones

-Suede-subterranean, dark, purple and dull glowing green like electronic lights. The Pay Per View performance is my JAM. “Swallow her whole star intact-I mean!!

-Josephine-Such a dear heart. I love the stripped down recording against sparkling mental images of Paris at night, looking out over the city. And “empty like the Tuileries” always carries extra poignance as an illusionto Tori’s miscarriages

-Riot Poof- MY GIRL! sensual, reptilian, warm, a GROOVE. Another song where I love all the sounds. The chorus has been my ringtone since 2008. A VIBE.

-Datura-I mean!!! Epic in every sense of the word, withThe epitome of lusciousness. The Dionysian, ancient vibe of the the first part, with a pagan veneration of nature herself, flower by flower. The flowers of Tori’s garden in Florida at the time and a real moment for anyone like me who loves Tori’s speaking voice. Then “is there room in my heart…” I alway visualize flying through dark space among the stars. The zinging/shooting star sound is one of my favorite sounds on the whole album. Obsessed. Then we float out even further to the “Dividing Canaan” part-when the percussion, especially the cymbals, becomes a intergalactic ocean where we swim, and swim, and swim. The first time I listened to this song, I thought a new song had started, and was confused. Later during that time, “Dividing Canaan” became a vehicle for me for meditative, centering practice. I would balance a book on my head and focus my attention in a meditative gaze. I remember specifically using the book Naked Lunch, I think just because it was around

-Spring Haze-more amazing percussion. More purple land and skyscapes. I’ve always loved the slightly melancholy mood of this song, and the rhythmic interplay of the vocals, drums, and piano is a great example of the sonically detailed layering on the entire album-you really have to listen to SH to hear everything-like Datura, Riot Poof, GOT80’s, and Juarez. The deepening ocean is warm and lulling

-1,000 Oceans- Simple yet beautiful, the only landscape (Salisbury Hill) that evokes the color green. The piano mimics calm ocean waves. Another comfort song of love and protection

-Zero Point-This girl!! Another epic, another visit to a now apocalyptic Paris. I believe T made the right choice putting Datura on the record. I love how Zero Point was such a mystery for so long though. Datura and Zero Point are intrinsically connected because their “format” is exacttge same, and yet they are completely unique in themselves. I really took the litany at the end into my spirit and my identity when ZP first came out, and like Lust, she’s in my bones. I think a lot about the power of the ancient, universal, leaning feminine force the narrator has ascended into-she has access to the Om, the Vatican Library, and other “places”where sacred/secret knowledge of the universe and the self without Ego can be found for those who are dedicated to a spiritual quest of self and universal knowledge. Years ago, someone was collecting essays for a book about different things Tori. Zero Point/secret knowledge, involving the Mayans, Buddhism, and other shit. So, an exploration of a facet of The Divine Feminine. The project fell through, but I read a lot and researched, and I still have all those notes. Maybe I should restart that project for my own academic curiosity and achievement.

I think it took me about 2 hours to write this. This album lives behind me heart, a place Tori talked about while promoting the album. I love, love, love her. Happy Birthday, love; I’ll go anywhere with you(and back) always and forever 💜💜💜💜