#tv:tds

Stephen Colbert: So you don't have anything against these people of colour? Jonathan Wilson: No. Stephen Colbert: I'd like to show you something. ... I'm one of them. Or did I just blow your mind? Jonathan Wilson: I thought you were going to show me a tattoo somewhere else on your body. That's what I was looking for.

Stewart: Uhhh...St-Stephen- Colbert: Yes, Jon? ... Have we lost Jon? Jon, are you there? Stewart: Stephen I'm-I'm here...buhh Stephen, I can't help but have noticed that you seem to have replaced yourself with a bobble head doll version of yourself.  Colbert: No, Jon. No I haven't. Noo, no no no no no no no. Ah ah ah ah ah. Must be something wrong with the satellite feed. I am definitely here in Baghdad - live.  Stewart: Now- Colbert: Look at the sign, Jon. Stewart: Stephen- Colbert: Up there, on the screen: live Baghdad. That's me. Stewart: I see it, Stephen. I know you were reluctant to return to Iraq because of the danger and- Colbert: Danger? Just look around me, Jon. Baghdad is almost eerily calm. There's a stillness in the air. Almost no movement on the streets back there.  Stewart: Are you sure that doesn't just have something to do with the photograph behind you, Stephen?

The Daily Show 1999 and The Colbert Report 2011

Jon Stewart: Stephen Colbert has been here all night with his insights; Stephen, neither man has yet given up the fight; polls are still open on the West Coast. How do you see this thing coming down?  Stephen Colbert: Jon, it is still anybody's race. Well, uhh... not anyone's per se. I'm out of the running, as are you. Tony Randall, he won't win and nor will Gorby Doll. John Gielgud is dead. Snoopy's a cartoon and therefore ineligible, a crime if you ask me. So, really, we are exactly where we were when we started this crazy thing: two guys: Bush and Gore.  Jon Stewart: Thank you, Stephen. I had no idea Snoopy was ineligible.