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Who is Mitch McConnell?
US Senator Mitch McConnell, also known as Turtle Senator or Old Age Mutant Boomer Turtle, is an American species of freshwater turtle found in the Alabama basin and river system of the eastern Kentucky.
Mitch McConnell is probably the ugliest turtle in the world, but its ugliness has a purpose. The coloration and shape of its carapace, limbs, and head resemble old white leather shoes. Such debris is found on the bottoms of the stagnant rivers, creeks, marshes, and even drainage ditches where it lives. This camouflage protects the McConnell turtle from its natural predator: consequences.