#tumdiary

this morning i called my mother and cried...but she didn't know i was crying and she thought i was sick. I wish i would have told her the truth because i could have used some comfort. besides that my morning was good

I learned two things today: 1) tuition may have froze for this upcoming school year, but I swear the fees have gotten outrageous, and 2) my patience being has been tested further at work recently. It's the sporadic few that feel they could bend the rules because they 'deserve it'. Sure, I could call student finances at my school and tell them that I deserve a fee waiver for the Magical Unicorn/ Narwhal  Research Lab. Besides, I'm way more special than than the student population. I need some Advil.

I am super sore- physically and mentally. Rearranged half the house, and got to rest with biochem. That's really all I did today.

Sorry stalkers, I didn't have the time today to "insta" any pictures. I'm pooped out and have a headache, so off to bed. Night tumblrs.

I also wonder why my entire life, I've always felt like I'm never going to get to live the rest of my life out. Why have I always felt so rushed? It's like I am terrified of not getting to do it all. I think every day about all of the things that could happen. End of the World and everything..I just want to know, if there is a God and he wants the world to end in my life time, I hope he knows that he is stealing half my dreams away. and I know what my friend would say "You shouldn't worry if you are saved! God's people will be taken and given into his kingdom" and I know how stupid it is, but I don't want his kingdom. I want to live my life filled with ups and downs and have and abundance of mistakes and have everything that comes with liveing.  I just really hope I get that. I just want to grow up and do it all, have children and grandchildren. I want to experience motherhood. I want to experience a wonderful career and I want to be a wife. I want it all, and I really hope no deity takes that away from me!

Jackey.