#tsukada chieko

Why the hell did I agree to do this?

The question lingered in Amaya’s mind as she watched her temporary roommate, Chieko Tsukada, unpack her stuff right in front of her. It wasn’t that she wasn’t used to having roommates; she had slept in tents with plenty of other kids before this. No, there was a different reason she was reconsidering her acceptance of this situation.

But she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

Elliot had introduced the two, telling Amaya that Chieko would be staying for a few weeks and asked if she would be okay with living with her for that time. She couldn’t remember why, but something had made her feel incredibly flustered at that moment, forcing her to agree despite her blank mind.

She wished she could just go over to their place and tell them, “Nope, can’t do this. Sorry.” But she felt like she had gotten herself into this mess; therefore, she had to deal with the consequences of her own actions.

“Um,” Chieko’s voice popped up, snapping Amaya away from her thoughts, “Are you going to help me unpack, or are you just going to stand there?”

“Oh, sorry,” Something about Chieko’s voice made her flustered again, “I’ll help out, no problem.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’ve unpacked plenty of times on my own. It’s just that you standing there staring at me is making me a bit uncomfortable.”

“I-I’m so sorry. I haven’t had to share a room with another person in…” Shit, how long had it been since she was with Sombra? “Like…seven or eight years…”

Had it really been that long? It seemed like only yesterday she got out of her one-year jail sentence for the things she had done for them.

Trying to distract herself from how old she really was, Amaya got to work trying to help Chieko with her luggage. She didn’t want to think about anything that happened back then. She didn’t need to think about those memories when there were more important things to take care of, like…

Like the dog tags she found in one of the suitcases.

It seemed strange that Chieko had those dog tags in her suitcase. She didn’t really seem like the type to wear them. Sure, she did wear a locket, but a locket is fairly different to dog tags.

It got weirder upon closer examination. There was a name engraved on the dog tags – Tsukada Hiroshi. Oh god, she had stumbled upon some sort of secret identity Chieko was trying to hide from, didn’t she? The feeling of doing something wrong crept up on Amaya, causing her to try shoving the dog tags away from her so she wouldn’t have to think about them. However, as she did so, the chain caught on some of her arm hair, resulting in a loud “OW FUCK!” coming from her.

“Are you okay?” Chieko asked, concerned.

“Y-yeah, just…something pulled my arm hair.” Amaya couldn’t think of a lie to get herself out of this situation.

“Oh, I probably should’ve handled that stuff myself.” Chieko noticed the dog tags and picked them up.

“Do…do you mind if I ask you who Hiroshi is…or was?”

“I don’t mind. It’s been a long time since it happened. He was my brother.”

“Was? I’m sorry to hear that. Can I ask what happened to him?”

“He was…murdered. A group of people called Sombra trafficked and then killed him. I couldn’t get to him in time.”

Amaya felt the stinging in her eyes as she realised the truth. Chieko’s brother had been killed in the hunt. Did she even know about the hunt, though? Sure, she knew about Sombra, but she assumed a lot of people knew about them.

Hiroshi could’ve been like her, a soldier programmed to obey all of Sombra’s orders. She couldn’t tell if him dying was the better or worse option than that.

“Amaya,” Chieko waved her hand in front of Amaya’s widened eyes, “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, sure, I…I just need a minute. I’ll go make myself a cup of tea or something.” Amaya fumbled over her words. She didn’t kill Hiroshi herself, so why did she suddenly feel so guilty?

“Oh, okay. I’ll call you over if I need any help.”

“Yeah, yeah, you do that.”

Amaya stumbled into the kitchen and stood, staring into the sink as though she was about to throw up. Why? Why did she feel like this? She didn’t feel like this when she killed other kids during the hunt herself, so why did she feel like this now?

She suppressed another wave of nausea as she reached over to turn the kettle on, her hands trembling from the feeling. The guilt washed over her in waves, each one threatening to bring her down with it. Her knees felt weak as she tried to stretch up for a mug. She couldn’t reach the mug, but the idea of climbing onto the counter seemed impossible right now.

She needed to calm down before she did anything.

Gripping onto whatever was closest to her, she slowly made her way to the couch. This is the one time I’m gonna be thankful my kitchen and living room are the same fucking thing. She thought, flopping over as her legs finally gave in on her.

She still needed something to drink, so she tried to reach her shaking hands over to the case of water bottles beside the couch. However, the shakiness of her hands caught onto the case, knocking it over and spilling the bottles everywhere. Normally, this would be the last straw for her, but she didn’t want to disturb Chieko in any way. Instead, she got down onto the floor and started picking things up, starting with the case.

She just needed to make things better. She just needed to be strong. She needed to command.

The damage to the plastic casing was too much, and she quickly realised she needed to find another way to store nearly twelve bottles of water.

She tried getting off the floor, but her legs were so weak that she couldn’t even move them. That meant the fridge was out of the question. She wasn’t about to use the freezer to store them either; she’d rather have floor water than a chunk of ice, especially if she was mid-workout.

“Hey,” Oh god, not now of all times.

“Oh, hi Chieko,” Amaya blushed from the embarrassment of getting caught…doing whatever this was, “What’re you doing here?”

“I heard a loud crash. I figured I should check out the rest of the apartment anyway. May I ask why you’re on the floor?”

“I…I was…I was making myself a cup of tea…when I tripped over the water. I’m totally fine, though.” She unsteadily stood up. “See? Totally fine.”

“Are you sure? Maybe you should lie down for a little bit. I’ll bring you your cup of tea.”

Amaya didn’t want to accept, but it felt exactly like it did before when she agreed to let Chieko stay with her. Unable to accept or deny the offer, she simply nodded and stumbled away into her bedroom. Once there, she fell face-first into her pillows, trying to hide the blush heating her face.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Well, she knew at least some things that were wrong with her, but why she was suddenly acting so strange around Chieko wasn’t one of them. She felt bad for accepting the offer of having her tea made for her. She wanted to take out her phone, pull up Elliot’s contact and tell him that she couldn’t do it, but she felt it would be rude given that Chieko had just unpacked most of her stuff.

“Oh, I didn’t expect you to be lying down like…that,” Chieko commented after Amaya heard her door open.

“Ah, sorry. I didn’t flash you or anything, did I?” Amaya scrambled to sit herself upright and face her new temporary roommate.

“It’s fine, you didn’t. I didn’t know how you take your tea, so I brought the milk and sugar with me.” Chieko placed a tray on the side table beside the bed.

“Oh, well, I usually use a lot of sugar, so I don’t really expect you to get it right the first time.”

Chieko chuckled a little bit, eliciting a smile from Amaya. God, how could she hate someone with a face so pretty, especially when she smiled? She looked as sweet as the sugar being poured into her tea but so much prettier, like the stars in the night sky.

“Can I ask you something? Why have you been acting…off since I got here?” Chieko asked, sitting beside Amaya, who was pouring sugar in her tea.

“Oh, that…that…is definitely a question…one I’m not sure you’d want the answer to.” Amaya tipped the sugar dispenser further, spilling the sugar in faster.

“Well, I feel like we should address it if we’re going to be living together. I’d rather deal with just how much sugar you put in your tea rather than how much sugar you put in your tea AND whatever’s bothering you.”

“Ah! I don’t usually put this much in. Sorry,” Amaya put the sugar back on the tray, “But, yeah, you’re right. I should tell you. The truth is…I don’t know why I agreed to this. It only got worse when I heard about Hiroshi because…because I was part of Sombra.”

She braced herself for scrutiny, for an ad-hominin attack on her character based on one factor of herself. However, she wasn’t met with anything – no shouting, no physical attacks, nothing. Just Chieko looking at her with a strange, almost shocked look on her face.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” Amaya asked, still braced for an attack.

“Well…” Chieko sighed, pulling Amaya closer, “Years ago, I might’ve been angry with you, but I understand things a lot more now. You didn’t kill my brother; you were just another victim of the same schemes, but unlike Hiroshi, you survived, and you should be proud of yourself for that.”

Amaya froze, tears welling in her eyes. She was so used to a more aggressive reaction to talking about her past; she expected the same from someone who had been obviously hurt deeply by the people she once considered like a family to her. This compassion was unexpected but still appreciated.

“I…I’m sorry. I didn’t expect that kind of reaction to finding out I was part of the people that killed your brother.”

“It’s fine. As I said before, you didn’t kill Hiroshi. The actual person who did in rotting in jail, thankfully. Trust me when I say it took me a lot of therapy to get to this point. If you had met me back when the wound was still fresh, I probably would’ve killed you given the chance.”

“Hah, I probably would’ve done the same thing to you back then. But…I love who you are now…and I probably would’ve loved who you were back then.” She didn’t mean to use the word “love” like that, but she knew she meant it deep down.

Chieko laid down on Amaya’s bed. Slightly confused, Amaya lay down beside her, staring at her with widened eyes.

“Your room is adorable.” Chieko giggled, looking around at all the decorations she had collected over the years.

“Oh, yeah, thanks,” Amaya blushed, “I actually decided to decorate it the way I wanted it as a kid, but my parents could never afford to give me a room this nice. It’s helped me a bit with healing from what happened when I was younger.”

“Hmm…maybe I should do something similar with my room. I’d have to travel a lot to collect all the souvenirs that I had to sell to feed myself, though.”

“I’ll come with you. I think travelling around a little might do me some good. Sombra used to send us all over the world for missions, but doing it on my own will might help with the healing, maybe even more than what I’ve done with my bedroom.”

“You could combine the two together. I know there’s a lot of things in Japan that’ll go nicely in your room.”

“Really? You’ve been to Japan before.”

“I mean, I was born there.”

“Damn…it seems like everyone but me has been to Japan before.”

“Well, if we’re going to go to Japan together, I’d recommend going in spring. I’ve heard your favourite colour is pink, and we usually have huge festivals with picnics, viewing parties, and usually a lot of sake.”

“I’m not sure I’d enjoy the sake part, but the rest of it sounds fun.”

“Alright then, it’s settled; we’ll go to Japan…next spring?”