#tsfgae

So here we are, standing at the front doors for The School of Evil drenched to the bone in dirty swamp water. After all these years, I still never understood why we have to be dropped from twenty feet in the air into deep murky waters. I may be evil but the thought of the bacteria now sticking to my skin gives me goosebumps. It instills the thought of evil not deserving love or care, a fear that I already tried to bury deep in my consciousness. 

My body shivers when I walk inside, the common area flooded with students. New ones practically running into each other trying to find their way around. While the seniors just sit on the back corners laughing at them. The chill that was once clinging to me is not gone, replaced with hot lava. I pull the air through my nostrils and breath out through my mouth, I need this anxiety to go away.

God I hope this year goes by quickly.

There she stands, in the middle of all this chaos, suit trailered to the gods, a tight grip on her cane. I can only hope she is in a good mood this first week. Finding a will deep inside me, I slowly make my way to her, careful not to make eye contact too long. My steps are light and my clothes dry, a piece of magic built into the place.

“Good morning my Lady, how are you today?” I ask kindly, making sure to bow my head slightly. A behavior they drilled into us our first year here.

“Good morning, pet. I’m ready for you gremlins to leave me alone.” A small smirk plays on her lips.         

“I hear you. I will see you at the welcoming assembly.” I bow my head again, a goodbye. Making my way to my own room replaying the few words we shared.. I was one of the lucky ones that got to choose whether to have our own room or bunk with the others. 

I reach in my pocket trying to find the schedule I was given. It listed everything I needed to know, my classes, my room number, everything. But my hand was met with wet paper.

Shit. I guess the magic didn’t cover what was in my pockets.

My legs stop in an instant, moving to a dark corner so I can figure this out in peace. I gently take the folded up paper out of my pocket. Being careful not to rip it nor smear any more of the black ink. My fingers work diligently to unfold the soaked paper and hold it up so I can try to make out what it could possibly be saying.

Room #665

My eyes go wide, rereading those three numbers over and over again. That room is right next to Lady Lesso’s. This has to be a mistake, the only people who ever get this room are severely well rounded villains, the ones you see in your storybooks. Something I am not, my parents are peasants as they would call it, which makes me someone not worth noticing. According to other students I’m an ever-never. Too evil to be an ever and too good to be a never. 

All I ever wanted to do was make someone proud.

With anxiety wrapped around my airway I shakily walk up the never ending stairwell. Each stair was a different style of cracked cobblestone, threatening to break under each step. It is so old that even Lady Lesso’s heel prints are marked into the stone. 

Yes I’m gonna die. I can’t live next to her without her trying to kill me.

My tired legs make it to the top, finally. My eyes scanning the three doors, looking for my number. My feet move when I spot my room, eyeing the other doors. All a solid oak painted black. One with 666 written in gold lettering and the other The Dean of Evil’s Office in a dark red. As if that isn’t terrifying enough a small head appears hanging from the handle.

“So you’re the new one claiming this room?” She asks

“Yes, Beelzie. Would you please let me in? Lesso didn’t give me a key. Per usual.” I have resorted to pretending I hate the women I yearn for. It helped students stop teasing me my first year. It got so dreadful I locked myself in my room for the whole year, almost flunking. I tried to make it to every class, I just refused to go to Lesso’s. Those lingering stares and knowing she could read my mind was good enough reason to continue to do what I wanted.

“Mmhmm sure, just remember you told me about your little girl crush. No need to hide it from me sweet cheeks.” I cringe at the nic-name causing Beelzie to cackle and open the door, out of pity of course.

“I forgot about that.” I grimace, stepping into this old almost decaying room, closing the door behind me.

My bag drops slips off my shoulder plopping at my feets. My eyes give the room another once over. A bay window I've always dreamed of letting the rays of sun in, the pine floor, no longer holding any shine with the edges of some boards lifting. Some black and red stains I decide not to question. The walls are covered and made of intercity painted art, some of my favorites.

My eyebrows pull together, the realization dawning on me. Those are all my favorite designs, a collection of Victorian style swirls.  Looking like they were just carved out of the most magnificent wood. Even if the paint is covering obvious dents in the wall I can’t help but question who would know me this deeply. I don’t remember speaking to anyone about it.

Even the bed is a dark oak with those same intricate swirls. There's a small detail that catches my eye when I make my way towards the bed. Two L’s disguised as swirls. It causes my stomach to drop. Those were her initials, the one I have spent every waking moment thinking about. 

No, you're looking too far into it. They are just stupid swirls.

I turn my focus to the comforter. My fingertips caressing the cold fabric, over each perfectly placed thread. Like it was only meant for my hands to touch. I can’t help but feel lonely. Having no one in this school see me, to be outcasted any chance possible. It hurts. It hurts when her eyes bore into my soul without muttering a word, just letting the injustice happen. Sometimes I like to think the guilt is really eating her alive, but I know better than that. 

Like she’s said, Evil doesn’t get a happy ending, we don’t get to be loved. We don’t deserve it. A choked sob escapes my lips and I get up to look out the window. Maybe some sunlight will help. My fingers are quick to find the metal latches and pull the window open. Just as I finish my first deep breath a crow almost takes my head off, hurling itself past my head, dropping a piece of parchment on the bed and hastily flying back out the old window.

I take another deep breath, wiping my tears from my cheeks. Letting my feet guide me to the bed, trusting my legs will have enough strength to make it. I swiftly grab the paper and breaking the red wax seal intently. The writing of someone I know all too well, both cursive and print. So beautiful no words could describe it. The note read.

I see you have made yourself comfortable. I made some changes so that it was to your liking. An apology for my distance. For even if I deny it you make me soft. I hope you have an evil filled day dear one. Please don’t ignore me for another year. You broke my evil little heart with that.

 ~Your Lady

My hands are immediately shaking again. I- what? What was I even supposed to say to that? No no she probably means as friends, I don’t think she has any and I am truthfully the only one that remembers her birthday. Before I refused to see her or even be in the same room I'd bring her lunches and dinners. Always checking in when she had late nights. I was just always there. I can only imagine that I was the only constant in her life, outside of the anger and evilness. Am I really that blind?

The bell echoed through my room, sending a shiver down my spine. My attention was quickly turned to the deafening alarm, it’s time for the welcome assembly. 

The stairway was colder than it was when I first walked up them. A scent lingering. A scent that shot straight through my body, almost making me trip. Cinnamon with hits of sandalwood and amber. A cologne she wore daily. That alone made me dizzy. My feet stilled on the cobblestone, only a few steps to the end.

I can’t keep doing this, having her affect me this way but I still can’t find my footing. Just as I was about to make my attempt on taking a step down, strong hands held my waist, my body slightly falling into them.

“Hi my devious one, are you okay? You look a bit pale?” Her raspy voice whispers.

“Yes madame, just a little light headed. They took me before I could eat.” Her eyes turn dark.

“They what?” My eyes lifted to meet hers. I hadn’t noticed how close she was, how her piercing eyes soften upon gazing into my own eyes. I swear I saw that sharp blue turn lighter.

“It was a mistake, Lesso.” I try to reason with her. There was no way those birds could've known. I can see her fighting every urge to kill the very bird that brought me here. 

“They were following orders.” My hands hold her biceps, rubbing small circles.

“Okay. We are going to be late. May I help you walk to the assembly?” I quickly nod. Not eating wasn’t the only cause of the dizziness but her own existence taking over my whole body. The thought of her hands on me, feeling her everywhere. It’s driving me crazy. 

Her hands are fully around my waist in seconds, letting me put most of my weight onto her. She holds me with ease. Even if she was holding up most of my weight her stride was unwavering, still possessing the power she holds. My fingertips grip her shoulder trying my best to stay up right. 

She stops us to sweep me off my feet. One arm around my waist and the other under my knee, picking me up with ease. A yelp followed by a whimper escapes my lips, I could feel the shiver run through her body. 

I shove my face into her red locks, wrapping my arms around her neck.

“As much as I love hearing those knee weakening noises come from your pretty lips, I need you to keep them to yourself. We can’t have people hearing what's mine.” She whispers in my ear as she walks, almost as a dare. 

I can’t help but think there's a deeper meaning to those words. How she wants me to keep it down to not draw attention to us. Just because she can’t be soft in front of people, she turns cold. Not caring if I am hurt or not. It’s a constant battle in my head. A million what ifs with so much proof. If she adored me as much as she says, why is she so cold?

Tears threaten to spill from my eyes as the doors to the assembly open, lucky the chatter continues as normal and she sets me on the bleachers. Hort taking me from her to sit me up right next to him. He has been one of my only friends here, well more of acquaintances. He doesn’t bully me like the rest. He keeps his distance and only helps when I'm in dire need. Which I am right now, with my head still fuzzy and a granola bar being shoved in my hand.

“Everyone, attention please.” A flowy, almost eternal, voice radiates off the walls but the side I'm on refuses to lower the volume.

“Shut up!” Lesso’s voice yells, leaving a ringing in all our ears. All students' mouths shut instantaneously. Leaving the room so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Bringing my gaze to the red head I see a satisfied smile on her lips, a little victory for evil. She hasn’t had one of those in years. Sometimes I let my mind wonder if she would see being with me a victory or just something else she has to take care of. 

“Thank you.” the dean for good saying with a tight smile.

“As most of you know I am Professor Dovey and this is my colleague Lady Lesso. Given all of you lovely students are third years you should already know the rules. For those who don't, we will be handing out cards of each school's rules to you by the end of day.” She smiles brightly but you could see the hesitation when her gaze scanned the students in all black.

This is gonna be one hell of a school year. Lesso’s eyes bore into me when the assembly ended, checking to see if I was okay but unwilling to help if I needed her. 

“Are you okay to go up to your room?” Horts asks politely. 

“Yes Hort, thank you.” I smile briefly his way before making my way back up those ungodly stairs, straight into the room that now only reminds me of her.

My knees betray me on the last couple steps, my knee cap going into the edge of the sharp stone. A sickening crack vibrates through my body, a hiss escaping me. Even though tears threaten to run down my cheek I crawl to my door, swallowing my pride. 

“Oh my, darling? Are you okay?” The once sassy head hanging from my door says.

I nod, unwilling to show my embarrassment through my voice. My nails bite into the metal of the door handle, falling into the room as the door swings open. I pull myself into the room, slamming the door behind me.

“My little bat? It’s Lesso, I wanted to check on you.” She says, seemingly worried. 

“It’s unlocked.” I say my body laying on the cold floor. I can feel her desperation as she opens the door, staring at me. She's on her knees immediately, redirecting her attention to the bruise now forming on my knee.

“Do you love me?” My brain isn’t working correctly, a stupid excuse for a question but I am desperate to know the answer to. Her eyes are teary when they meet mine.

“Yes, I don’t want to lose you. I’ve been dreadful to you. I wanna change. I wanna be by your side no matter where we are. I just want you, I'm done hiding.” She says as tears spill from her tear ducts. The small rabble had my heart pound, the room spinning, begging to be grounded. I reach my hand out squeezing her arm. Her finger glows and the pain in my knee lessens. 

“I want to try.” I say hesitantly, I don’t want to get hurt again.

“I want to try too.” She smiles at me, pulling me close to her. I bury my nose in her neck, just taking in her scent. I try to memorize everything about her. My arms find their way around her neck and I let myself be held by her. 

“Lets get you on your feet and get some food in you, I ordered some for you. It should be here in a couple minutes.” She picks me up as she stands, gently putting me back on my feet.