#ts morality

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Truth be told, this was not how Janus would have preferred to spend his weekend. Earlier that week, his brother had called him with explosive excitement. The annual Twins Day Festival was back. Janus and Patton had never gone before, because they’d never had the time or lived too far away, but this year it had been the perfect opportunity for them to go. Janus had been incredibly reluctant to go. There were going to be so many people, loud music, and it was the middle of summer, so it was going to be suffocatingly hot.

And he was right.

It was just a little past midday, and the summer sun was unrelenting, stinging his reddening skin. His brother had often joked that he might be cold-blooded because of how poorly he handled extreme temperatures. He clicked his tongue when a man shoved past his shoulder and mumbled a hurried apology before going about his way. It was too crowded, and he couldn’t stand it anymore.

He scanned the stands scattered around the festival ground. There were many food stalls, and even some ice cream stands, too—which were incredibly appealing in this hot, sticky weather—but they were so crowded that seeing them from a distance was enough to make Janus groan. Another person shoved past his shoulder. His eyes finally landed on a less crowded stand.

“Oh, mocktail,” he mumbled to himself, eyes widening in interest. “Sure, why not?”

He blew on a piece of hair that had fallen out of his bun as he walked over to the stand. There were some customers, but overall, it was not too crowded. He sighed in relief as he walked closer, eager to get under the shade of the stand’s tent. He lined up to queue, and before long, it was his turn.

“Dude, what the hell?”

Janus had been occupied with his phone, shooting a short text to his brother to let him know where he was in case his brother got lost in the sea of people. He looked up at the unexpectedly familiar voice to see the bartender manning the stand.

“Virgil?” Janus quirked an eyebrow, pulling his head back in surprise. “What’re you doing here?”

“What’s it look like, man?” Virgil’s hands never stopped moving behind the counter, mixing liquids as he made drink after drink. The sound of sloshing ice accompanied his work. He gestured at the cashier, and Janus’ eyes followed his hand. “Oh, this is Logan. Logan, this is my friend, Janus.”

“I know you,” Logan peered from behind his glasses with sharp eyes. “We’ve met, Janus.”

“Have we?” Janus’ face twisted slightly in concentration. Has he met this nerd before? And then it clicked. “Ah… Sanders University, fourth semester. Logan O’Cuinn, right?”

“What can I get for you?” Logan gave him a slight smile as he directed Janus’ attention back at the menu.

After ordering his drink, Virgil pestered Janus to take a seat behind the counter. “Friends only seating area,” Virgil said with a playful shrug as he went back to work. Well, at least he won’t have to stand in the scorching sun anymore. For now, anyway.

“What are you doing in a twin festival of all places?” Virgil cocked his head in question, his hands still busy with their practiced movements.

“Why else do you think?” Janus sipped on his refreshingly cold drink. “I’m here with my brother.”

“You have a twin?” Virgil’s voice was laced with disbelief. “You never told me that.”

“It never came up.”

“Did you know this, Logan?” the bartender tapped on the cashier’s shoulder lightly. “Aren’t you guys old friends, or something like that, right?—small world, by the way.”

“No, I didn’t,” Logan closed the register, nodding to a customer and directing them to wait for their drinks. “Our friendship was incredibly brief and impersonal. We barely exchanged any information about ourselves, let alone anything about family. Besides, we haven’t seen each other in nearly seven years now.”

“What he said,” Janus agreed, sipping on his drink again.

“Introduce me to your twin, dude,” Virgil demanded as he went back to work. “So funny that there’s like… two of you.”

A few minutes passed as the stand grew busier. Janus was starting to worry about his brother’s whereabouts. Patton was prone to getting lost with how directionally challenged he was. He checked his phone again, but there were no new notifications. He tried calling, but it failed to connect. Which bathroom was Patton in, again? Should he pick him up? He let out a small sigh. Patton’s an adult; he can find his own way around. Maybe.

“That’s not how twins work, Virgil,” Logan retorted from his station at the cashier.

His eyes drifted to the bartender and cashier duo in front of him. Odd, he thought. He never would have imagined these two people from his life would ever come in contact with each other. Virgil was a relatively new friend. He frequented Virgil’s bar, coming there from time to time during his free hours. In other words, he was a regular. There had been a sudden storm one night on his usual walk from work, and the nearest place he could find was the bar, Midnight Nectar. The interior was cozy, a little broody, but not unwelcoming. He’d fallen in love with the place immediately, and soon, he found a friend in Virgil.

Logan was a different story. He had taken a debate elective in his fourth semester in college. Janus was late on his first day. When he entered the debate hall, there was one person absolutely destroying everyone with quick and succinct arguments. The professor had essentially divided the small class into two, one for and one against. She had been ready to end their first debate session when Janus interjected with his own arguments, still standing in the doorway. By the end of that class, Janus and Logan had become quick friends.

“Mocktail, huh?” A deep voice sounded, accompanied by approaching footsteps. The new customer was ready to order before his voice died in his throat. “Patton?”

Janus snapped his head at the voice. Patton? Where? Instead, he was met with wide, bewildered eyes from an oddly familiar face. The two stared at each other for a moment.

“Remus?” Virgil almost yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the new customer standing in front of Logan, who was ready to take new orders.

Sure enough, there stood Remus—or someone who looked like him, anyway—looking incredibly confused. Remus had been another one of Virgil’s regulars at his bar. Remus didn’t usually look this put together. His hair was usually a little unkempt, and his eyebrows a little wild. This man, on the other hand, looked just a touch different to Remus—more polished and put together.

“Did you shave your caterpillar stache?” Janus motioned to his now-clean face. “And got a haircut?”

“No…” the man said, voice trailing off, before adding, “I have told him to shave it a couple of times, though. Not that he’d listen to me, anyway.”

There was a beat of silence as Janus and Virgil looked at each other, their expressions gradually morphing into bafflement. The two pointed their fingers at each other as it clicked in their heads. “Remus is also a twin?” they both said in unison.

“Do you fellas realize where we are?” The man gestured at their surroundings and pointed to the banner on the field, the words “Annual Twins Day Festival” in big, bold, festive letters. “Roman Garnett,” the man extended his hand to Virgil for a handshake, “I’m assuming you’re all my brother’s friends?”

“Not me,” Logan gave a short, quick answer. “No clue who that is. Also, you’re holding the line. Please state your order.”

“Gee, specs,” Roman raised his hands in mock defeat. He rattled off his orders and moved to the side, eyeing Janus with curiosity. “Do you happen to be Patton’s brother?”

“I’m Janus,” he nodded in confirmation. “Janus Curtis.” He waved his empty glass at Virgil, wordlessly requesting another drink. He shook the hand Roman offered. “How’d you know my brother?”

“Ah, yes! It was a quiet night, some five months ago,” Roman’s melodic voice deepened slightly, “dearest Patton was getting robbed, and—”

“He what?!”

“Worry not,” Roman quickly reassured, “I saved him, and he escaped the whole ordeal without a scratch,” he broke out into a cheeky grin, remembering his heroic deed. “We’ve been friends ever since! I never realized he had a twin brother at all. Had I known, we would’ve bonded over it, I’m sure.”

“Little twerp never told me he almost got mugged.” Janus’ words were harsh, but his tone remained light, endearment clear in his voice.

“So then, where’s Remus?” Virgil asked simply. There was a slight, amused glint in his eyes as the bartender found it a little humorous how Roman spoke in his theatrical manner.

The crowd of customers was starting to thin. Admittedly, the idea of selling mocktails at a daytime festival like this was a little unorthodox, but a friend of Virgil’s—one of the event organizers—had managed to convince him to set up a stand there. He didn’t expect much sales to come his way, so he was pleasantly surprised when he was proven wrong.

“Remus?” Roman looked around, scanning the crowd. “Who knows? He said something about hot dogs before we got separated.”

“Here’s your drink,” Virgil said as he handed him a glass. “I’m assuming the other one you ordered is for Remus? I’ll keep it in the fridge for now.”

As if on cue, a loud voice cut through the crowd, followed by hurried footsteps. “Ro-bro! Look what I got!”

“Or not,” Virgil huffed as he set the drink in his hand on the counter.

In Remus’ hands were two giant sausages skewered on long wooden sticks. They were positively massive; each sausage measured from the tips of the fingers down to the elbow. He approached the stand, extending an arm to offer his brother a sausage. Only then did he notice Janus and Virgil.

“The fuck are you guys doing here?”

“Selling shit?” Virgil gestured an exaggerated motion towards the tent they were under.

Janus only shrugged. “Came with my brother.”

“You have a twin?” Remus blurted in shock.

“You have one, too,” Janus pointed at Roman.

“Oh, and his twin happens to be my friend, by the way.” Roman took the offered sausage from Remus’ hand and replaced it with the mocktail he’d ordered. “Christ, Remus, what the hell did you buy?”

“Two giant dicks!” Remus giggled as everyone within earshot either grimaced or groaned.

“We are literally in a festival specifically held for twins or multiples,” Logan turned towards the slight commotion behind the counter. “Is it such a surprise that anyone here has a twin?”

“We didn’t plan to have, like, a meeting here or anything,” Virgil tried to explain. “Things about our family just never come up in conversations, let alone the fact that both of these shitheads—” Virgil pointed to Janus and Remus, “—have twin siblings!”

“That’s true,” Janus agreed. “If only one of us, then it wouldn’t be as surprising. But both of us? That’s something.” Janus waved his glass at Virgil again, telling him he still wants that drink he ordered. Virgil promptly went back to work. “Plus, it’s a crazy coincidence that both Remus and I were here at this festival with our brothers.”

“Hmm,” Logan hummed, turning around to face the cash register once more. “Perhaps you’d have the same reaction when you meet my twin brother?”

“What?”

Logan only chuckled in response as Janus caught himself from falling off his seat.

**********

“Um, excuse me…” Patton pulled on his bucket hat. “Do you need help?”

“Huh?”

Patton noticed this person had been crouching, back pressed against the wall outside of the bathroom for a while now, neither going in nor making any move to leave. He looked like he was angry at something. His orange-tipped hair was sticking up everywhere as if he had been running his fingers through it over and over. Perhaps this stranger was lost, just like he was. Or perhaps he’s feeling a bit hot—maybe taking off that leather jacket would help cool him down in this heat.

“Tsk,” the stranger clicked his tongue. “Mind your own business, dude.”

“Then, can you help me instead?” Patton’s smile didn’t waver despite the stranger’s prickliness. “I’m kind of lost right now.”

“Ugh, geez,” the stranger rose to stand, leaning against the wall. “Can’t even handle yourself?”

“My brother said he’s at a mocktail stand.” Patton ignored the stranger’s rude comment. “I couldn’t ask him where the stand was before my phone just… died.”

“Mocktail stand?” the stranger asked in an incredulous tone. “Are you for fuckin’ real right now?” He huffed a big, frustrated sigh. “I’m literally trying not to be there.”

“Oh, so you know where it is?”

“Sure, I do.”

“Then could you help me find it?” Patton kept his friendly demeanor in the face of this irritable stranger. “My name’s Patton. Yours?”

“Kai.”

**********

The space behind the counter in Virgil’s stand was getting a little crowded with Remus and his brother’s unexpected arrival. Virgil escorted the three men to a picnic table just to the side of the stand with a big umbrella erected from the middle of the table. It was just a tiny bit jarring to see Remus and Roman sit side by side. Janus had never known the man had any siblings at all, let alone an entire twin brother. The most interesting thing, however, was how different—and similar—the two were.

Remus, as usual, had his messier aesthetic. Not that he was a bad dresser, but his style was a stark contrast to his brother’s more polished look. Where Roman had neat and perfectly coiffed wavy hair, Remus had a messy wavy mullet with a silver money piece. Where Roman left his red boxy shirt lay perfectly atop a clean white tank top, Remus’ baggy, striped green shirt was unbuttoned at the top to reveal his broad chest. Their jeans were the same, if only Remus’ had small tears here and there. Unlike most other twins in the festival, the Garnetts did not coordinate their outfits at all.

Janus opened his mouth to say something, only to shut it once more when he saw them take a bite of their giant sausages and sip their drinks in identical movements. His eyes shifted between Roman and Remus, his eyes narrowing more and more with every passing second.

“You guys are so entertaining to watch,” Janus finally voiced his amusement.

“I know I’m hot,” the two said in unison. “Stop copying me,” they said in unison, again.

“It’s like you two have a bluetooth connection or something,” Janus broke out into a laugh.

“Where is dearest Patton?” Roman asked in between bites. He remembered Patton would mention a brother from time to time, but never went into too much detail. So it had been a surprise to see him hanging out at the back of a mocktail stand, only it wasn’t Patton at all.

“I don’t know where he is.” Janus looked down at his phone and saw his texts had gone unread. He sighed, pocketing his phone. Worry was etched into his face. Maybe he really should look for his brother after all. “I’ve been calling and texting, and I’ve gotten nothing.”

Janus heard footsteps coming up behind him. He looked up to see Logan squinting against the sun, taking his seat next to Janus. He sat down with a loud exhale.

“We’re taking a break,” Logan said after seeing Janus’ questioning look. “Virgil’s cleaning the bar at the moment.” He then shifted his attention to the other two sitting at the table. “We haven’t been acquainted yet. I’m Logan O’Cuinn.”

“Remus Garnett,” Remus said mid-bite, jerking his head in a nod of acknowledgement. He cocked his head toward his brother. “This one’s Roman.”

“Roman and Remus? That’s funny,” Logan gave the Garnetts a slight smirk—it was an attempt at a friendly smile, but he was admittedly not too good with those. “Like the myth?”

“Like the myth,” Roman nodded enthusiastically. “Exactly. This nerd gets it.”

“Guys, I genuinely think my brother is missing or something,” Janus interrupted the conversation that’d barely begun. He had once again checked his phone and saw no new notifications. Patton wasn’t that gullible, right? He won’t just be lured away so easily like a child, would he? He must’ve gotten lost, or did he lose his phone?

“Missing? Who’s missing?” A gruff voice was heard right before a bottle of cold beer was slammed in front of Logan. The newcomer looked around the table, and his eyes landed on Janus. “Oh, you, I found your lost dog.”

“What?” 

Janus had had enough surprises for one day. One, he’d unexpectedly run into an old friend he hadn’t seen in years, filling in as a cashier for his other, newer friend at a festival. Second, he’d discovered his drinking buddy had a twin brother, who was basically a wannabe Prince Charming. And then, three, he learned that his old friend also had a twin brother, who is now staring down at him menacingly.

“What dog?”

“Uh… shit. What’s his name again?” The stranger looked around to find someone in the crowd. “Hey, Patrick! I found your other half!”

“It’s Patton, actually,” Patton corrected as he emerged from the crowd with a slight pant in his breath. He flung himself onto Janus the moment he saw his brother. “Janny! I’ve been looking for you! My phone died, which is weird ‘cus I thought I had it fully charged. I saw your text about where you were, but I didn’t know where it was, so I actually went around the festival grounds to look for it, and I still couldn’t find it. And then I—”

“Whoa, whoa, okay, calm down,” Janus took hold of Patton’s shoulders and peeled him off of himself.

Patton gave Janus a sheepish apologetic look. Just behind Janus, he spotted a familiar face.

“Oh my goodness!” Patton yelled, his eyes absolutely glowing with excited surprise. “You’re here, too? Oh wow, you have a twin!”

“Why does everyone say that when we’re clearly in a Twins Day Festival?” Logan retorted quietly, but loud enough for Patton to hear.

“Yes!” Roman ignored Logan’s rhetorical question. “It is I, your beloved friend, Roman!” He slapped Remus’ back—making his brother momentarily choke on his sausage—which earned him a kick. “And this is my brother, who, unlike me, is a swampy trash goblin.”

“Joke’s on him, though—” Remus took the last bite of his enormous sausage, “—he thinks that’s an insult, but I take that as a compliment.”

“Wow, look at you guys. Looks like I’m the only one who’s twinless.” Virgil had come bounding over with his own glass of mocktail after cleaning the temporary bar. “Hey, how ‘bout everyone come to my bar tonight? We’re gonna close the stand in about two hours, or until I run out of stuff to make drinks with.”

Everyone murmured a chorus of agreement.

“Anyway, I’m gonna go and look around.” Remus stood, pulling Roman up by the sleeve. “Let’s go, Roro. I saw something awesome earlier.”

“And if you say something’s awesome, really it means something disturbing or gross… or both.”

With that, the Garnetts left to go sightseeing.

Kai had been silent the entire time, observing and not saying anything. He offered the cold bottle to Logan. “Beer’s for you, nerd.” 

“You know I don’t like beer.”

“Right, it’s hard liquor for you, eh?”

“No, I—where did you even get beer? Alcoholic drinks are not allowed.”

“Geez, you’re so boring. Not like you can get drunk with one beer, you dweeb.”

“Okay, if you guys are gonna start fighting again,” Virgil interrupted, “I’m gonna have to kick you guys out of my booth.”

Janus and Patton looked at each other. Well, tonight is going to be an interesting gathering.

End Note:

patton, in my little brain, is deeply nostalgic and whimsical. obviously. but there’s more to that, yk? his board i have made is veeery lighthearted, admittedly, with some heavy hitters that you don’t even really Notice on first glance

lonesome but childish paintings, of things like candies or teddy bears, or honey bears sat in meaningless voids paired with an obsession over beanie babies and also calico critters but mostly beanie babies

that is me… kinda projecting but like. the age range is there that he’d have been Around during The Age of everyone thinking they’d eventually have lots of value, and now patton is left with an ungodly amount of beanie babies thomas was given to both entertain and hopefully help pay his way in the future, and while there’s no real money value, there’s a whole lot of love in them! but patton’s kinda. idk, i think he’d relate to that a little

being deeply loved and cherished but also expected to be soooo much more, missing the mark and having so much left. their stupid little eyes and imperfect forms mean the world to him.

it’s also just SO nostalgic and kinda childish because that’s where things were simpler. that was before he had to worry about the Catholic Church and Thomas’s image, about real moral crises and if he’s really good or not. things were simpler when it was about cartoons and beanie babies and homely paintings and honey bears.