#trueterror

So at 2:30 am last night wormy was restless and I could hear number 2 brewing. After I discovered she pooped I grabbed a towel and we went into her room. She doesn’t lay on her back to get changed anymore and she likes to sit down while I'm trying to clean her so I was prepared. As she stood up from her dirty diaper fresh poop came streaming out landing on the towel I brought in. I was like ok, this isn’t normal poop it’s diarrhea which=tub time. That is when the fun began.

I wrapped worms butt up in the towel and as soon as I turn on the bathroom light I saw one of those fast moving long legged water bug house centipede things run across the floor and I was like “oh no no no no!! Not now please!!" Pleading to ..I’m not even sure who lol.

I peek over to where I saw the bug and see it’s in the corner on the floor near the toilet. I put wormy in the tub rinse and clean her off, fill the tub with a bit of warm water and am like “ok fuck” because I have a sick baby and a scary bug to deal with.

U should have seen me. I was looking for the bug and looking back at wormy all quick like. Every time I looked at the bug it had moved. First it was on the floor in the corner, then it was on the wall but still in the corner, then on the straight up wall saying “toodaloo “ to the corner and the last time I looked it was in the middle of the wall above the toilet. It was go time at that point because next it would be on the ceiling and momma isn’t good with bugs on the ceiling.

So I was like "wormy hold on " as I see more poop steaming through her bath water. I grab bleach, because I’m way to scared to try to hit it with a wad of toilet paper, and splash the bleach on the bug. ( it was in the corner way away from wormy) The bleach hits the tail end of the bug and the bug seperates!!!!!!!

I was like "oh no way" out loud in half amazement and half terror because now 2 segments of bug are moving around. I was thinking the tail end was babies??? Maybe the bug is so fragile that the force of the splash cut the bug???? Or maybe the bug can detach as a flight response???? I still have no idea and honestly I wish I could forget about it all together. The tail end finally stopped moving but now I had lost the bigger bug portion.

So I'm on my tip toes changing Icie’s water fearing for myself at this point. So I get her clean and the water clear again and then get back to bug detection/ elimination mode. I'm basically laying onto of the radiator heater thing in the bathroom searching for the bug because I’m terrified it will run across my feet or something. At that point I knew what I was dealing with would make a great story to tell after it was over. See I should never in a million years be laying on that heater with my entire body weight because I’m pretty sure that shit will go through the floor. I was imagining myself riding that heater through the floor to the kitchen below.

So I’m looking for this bug and I'm like fuck fuck fuck ya know and I see more poop in Icie’s water so I have to go deal with that again so as I'm changing her water I see the fucking bug on the towel she pooped on, which was on the floor

I'm like "fucking seriously ????? " I throw another towel on it and start stomping on it like I'm making wine or some shit. I even threw the bath mat ontop of the other towel to add more weight to make sure the fucking thing is dead. It was complete chaos. Me in my fucking underwater with my fat ass all flapping around trying to kill this gross ass bug while my poor baby is in her tub all sick pooping.

Her little face the entire time was like “uh wtf is going on.” The dogs were in the bathroom also because I opened the door thinking they would help which is a fucking joke. Icie was all like "a da!! a da!!!” meaning "a dog, a dog" all excited and I'm like “yes wormy they are dogs” as my hair is flapping around and I'm scanning the bathroom in a panicked state.

It was like I was two diff people at the time. When I was with her I was calm saying “it’s ok baby everybody gets a case of the back yard struts at some point,” and then I felt nothing short of a Neanderthal while dealing with the bug.

I can’t be the only one who had something like that happen to them. It was so unreal at the time, but I find it hilarious now. God help us if Icie for some reason has that situation as a memory. I’m sure it would be quite funny from her perspective though.