#troutfur

no one's quite sure why, in his words he logged in and had a termination notice, no email about what he did or didn't do or anything. he's tried to file a support ticket but it won't go through.

Trout Fur

-@troutfur

So, this is super still subject to change, but there are kind of... three camps?

Obviously Bluestar and the members of the clan who are most strongly supportive of the hierarchy are Mortified at the shame. A LOWBORN tom betraying the Heir he is sworn to protect by seducing his mate, and KILLING her, however indirectly? Cats want him exiled, sent to twolegplace never to return, and are disgusted that Crookedstar, and later Bluestar, allow him another chance.

The second group are the very small minority that think it's fucking hilarious. They hate the hierarchy/Fireheart specifically/Riverclan and this attempt at an alliance so much that this whole tragedy is the best thing they've ever seen. Darkstripe is the poster child for this, added to with his stupid golden child little brother finally being seen as the fuckup.

The final group are just... sad. This destroyed the chance of an alliance for the first time in generations, killed the sole surviving Heiress of Riverclan in an incredibly tragic way, all because two cats fell in love when they weren't supposed to. There's still betrayal, Fireheart especially is HURT, especially when Graystripe leaves too and now he just feels... alone, Willowpelt is so sad at her son and grandkits fates. There's also a hint of fear, how will Crookedstar and Bluestar respond to this insult? Will Bluestar order the bastard kits killed? It doesn't seem like her, but it's happened before. Will Crookedstar demand Graystripe killed in revenge for his daughter?

Ofc! Mix and match time.

"When you ask for advice, usually you're meant to take it."

"You're more sour-faced than a crabby elder covered in ticks, what's wrong?"

"Does the medicine cat code say anything about taking mates from another Clan?"

"I couldn't bear to see either of you in any pain..."

"I live for the half-moon meetings, just so we can see each other again."

"Have any of you ever thought about it? Really thought about leaving the Clans... being together."

"I don't think we're meant to feel like this, but we do, so... what are we going to do about it?"

"StarClan hasn't told me we're wrong yet."

"Every star in the sky couldn't stop me from meeting you."

My very first sona was a Mew Pokésona that going forward inspired the aesthetics of all my subsequent ones. I got it drawn way back when, as an art raffle prize, but I don't think I can find the file any more. I have been wondering if I could somehow revive it one day. (To broke right now, but to that one person who knows who they are: ;3c)

I have always had an attachment to Mew as a Pokémon. And being that I was 14-ish at the time the prospect of a mythical Pokémon as my sona just appealed to my 14 year old sense of self importance.

I also believe I may have been influenced by the plot of Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon. If anyone remembers, the partner character is canonically a reincarnated Mew in that entry in the series.

The Jace bird, my current "main" sona, has had quite a few iterations before I got my first artwork in its current style. But for the most part has remained consistent. The main change is going from a generic green (turquoise more like) bird to a specific species of tropical bird, a yellow-naped amazon parrot.

I connect with parrots because ever since I was a kid I have had a reputation for being "talky". Couple that with my interest in language learning and linguistics and having the stereotypical talking bird just felt natural. But it's also local to my country, Guatemala, a place that as I've gotten older I've got more and more attached to.

Also, the fact I began having anthro bird sonas circa 2017 may or may not be related to the fact I immediately fell in love with the Rito from The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild...

There's Troutfur, of course, who started as a Picrew avatar but later became an OC with like backstory and a defined design outside the bounds of the original image creator. It is who I represent myself as in this blog, as well as being an outlet to really explore my complex feelings towards the very ideas of religiosity given my Catholic upbringing. But layered in a coat of fantasy and animal aesthetics to make it an easier pill both to make and swallow.

Also: he has the distinction of being a fulfillment of a childhood dream. As a kid I really liked the idea of a calico cat fursona. Cats were one of my special interests as a child and I always found calicos to be the prettiest pattern. But I didn't want people to think I was a girl, trans, or intersex. The Erins' flippant attitude about cat genetics just inspired me to make the cat sona of my dreams, with no regard to the rhyme or reason for him being a cis guy calico.

And I also have Jiā'ān, after my Chinese Buddhist name: 嘉安. (For the unaware: I formally converted to Chinese Pure Land Buddhism in late 2023 under the bona fide abbott of a monastery in China. I have been on and off involved with Buddhism for 7 years, but it was in December 2023 when I really felt ready and committed enough to call myself an actual Buddhist.)

He is the character I use to represent myself in my Buddhism side blog, @kongque-jiaan. @dayz-ina-daze designed him from scratch for me and it cost me a pretty penny, but in the end it was worth it completely. I adore EVERYTHING about the design and I wish I got to use him more.

He's a peacock, which in Buddhist literature is a symbol of inner strength and acquiring wisdom through confronting one's negative thought patterns. Peacocks eat a lot of stuff poisonous to humans and as such ancient Indians believed that the strength of the poison they are directly correlated to the brightness of their feathers. The idea of it is extremely aspirational to me and as such Jiā'ān kind of has come to represent to me my goals in Buddhist practice.