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my brain gets so fuzzy it makes it so hard to distinguish love from obsession. i never know which one it is. for both of them i go above and beyond until i can hardly recognize myself when the person is no longer around. i'm just not a healthy person to be around i guess. wonder if that can even be fixed by yourself/without professionals
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fun ended. july is here aka the month of drunkard's arrival. i already want to relapse, which i might after showering. unless the water calms me down. how deep do i have to go for them to take it seriously? for them to do something? or for my mind to finally gather some courage and find a job to move out. or at least take baby steps and go grocery shopping by myself.
nobody will pick me up, i've gotta do it myself. it's so scary. experiencing how fun life can be and then have all that taken away from you is so gut-wrenching.
i wish misandry was real and it was just as bad as men make it out to be. like oh my god i wish i could bully these 2 losers that r in my house into killing themselves ngl.
now do i sound like a bad person for saying that? yeah, absolutely. do they deserve it for all the rage i've accumulated? also yes! (or in my opinion, at least).
women babying their sons (that r in their 20s) piss me off to no end. like if my son (29) TOOK OUT A DEBT IN *MY NAME*, not ONCE but MULTIPLE times without me knowing THEY WOULD BE UNDER THE GROUND! GET A JOB!!!!!!!!!!! THERE WOULD BE A DISASTROUS ARGUMENT LEADING IN MULTIPLE INJURIES!!!!!!!!! HE AIN'T PAYING ANYTHING BACK EITHER!!!!!! GO TO HELL!!!!! I WAITED A YEAR TO GET MY HAIR CUT!!!! IT WAS ONLY 20 RON AKA LESS THAN 5 EUR!!!! AND YOU'RE TAKING OUT MULTIPLE 2K LOANS?????
hairdresser also told me i have quite a bunch of white hair like yeah girl that's the price of living with MEN. i'm GONNA DO IT FORREAL I'M SO MAD
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i went out again today but i just feel like such a burden to everyone around me. i can't talk, make funny jokes nor be social. there's nothing special about me. i'm just fundamentally broken, i do not know if i can ever be fixed. it makes me so, so sad. especially knowing they're trying but... it's actually useless. man.
anotha dream. gonna go out in this storm and wait to be struck by lightning
been like this for the past few days. been hugging his plushies. i miss him. i'm being forced to go outside but i don't wanna go. pride month ain't the same without fagoomf so i am not celebrating. i will instead keep being inactive.
