agamemnon is one of the funniest motherfuckers on the planet entirely on accident i'm just gigging thinking about him. he's called the Lord Of Men and is in charge of a whole ass 1000 ship fleet, the trojans consider him respectable and intimidating but everyone on his side who actually interacts with him on a daily basis is constantly roasting him or telling him to lock in because! he is a disaster! he managed to get himself and his siblings out of an Actual Hell Situation and ostensibly did enough to earn his titles so seemingly he has the ability to make shit shake but when he gets to the war he is known for he trips and falls on his ass. He tried to break the cycle of his family curse and then became the premiere example of it. He has no filter whatsoever. he freaks out at everything. he's somehow both hubris mcgee but folds like a piece of tissue paper. he has like, 2 friends, and one of them is his little brother. he probably needs blood pressure medication. i need to trap him in a maze and observe him

This isn't often talked about but there's a part in The Iliad (book 9) where Phoenix is trying to get Achilles to return to the battlefield and he rants about how Achilles is like a son to him and how as a kid he wouldn't eat if he wasn't seated on Phoenix's lap with Phoenix feeding him meat cut into pieces and having to change tunics every time because Achilles would stain them while drinking wine (yes children used to drink wine back then) with childish clumsiness and I always think about this part because this poem is almost 3000 years old telling a story set 1000 years earlier than that and I can think of many toddlers who act just like that: who won't eat if they're not seated on their favorite adult's lap, the food cut into little pieces, and staining their clothes with grape juice. And Jesus Christ we haven't changed a bit have we

nooooo troy dont fall youre so sexy aha

What do briseis, patroclus, antilochus, deidamia, polyxena, troilus and penthesilea have in common? "they're all such fascinating and complex char-" wrong. they all suffer from a fatal condition called 'sparkling fishboy loves you and you're going to die because of it'