#trisha lacoste

Here's an interesting question for those of you in love...

If the person you're in love with stopped doing nice things for you, would you still love him or her?

If he didn't bring you flowers for Valentine's Day, would you love him still?

If she didn't cook your supper or wash your laundry, would you still think she was just as awesome as the day you met her?

If he didn't tell you how pretty you are, would you still think he was sweet?

If she stopped looking at you like you hung the moon, would you still be as fascinated with her?

The problem with our society is that we fall in love with the things people do for us and the way they make us feel rather than who they really are.

We are so desperate to feel loved that we settle for a warm, fuzzy feeling. We feel it and jump in. Then it gets old, the fuzzies go away, and we decide it's time to move on. You all know what I'm talking about. Just watch your Facebook friends' relationship statuses! Changing relationships is like changing socks these days.

Look at the man or woman beside you. Take away all the actions. Take away the outward appearance. Take away all the sweet things he or she says or does. All that's left is the very core of that person. Do you still love him? Do you even like her? Or are you just putting up with that person because you like his or her actions and the way you feel because of them? 

I've spent the last three years convincing myself that I don't need a man. I've picked myself up after a broken marriage, I've gotten a degree, I've gone into business for myself (with AMAZING partners), and I've built a life on my own. I've learned to be strong. I've learned to be cautious. I've learned to be genuine. I've learned to be everything someone else could never be for me. But is there a cost to this new attitude? Is there an icy chill that I'm cultivating deep down in my soul? Can anyone ever chip away that ice from around my heart? 

I'm struggling these days with women's roles in society. I believe God created us to be nurturing. But bread-winner and nurturer are two very different roles to play. I am determined to be a good mom. But I'm also determined to be a good business woman. I struggle with finding a balance between the two. Not to mention, I also have to be protector, encourager, disciplinarian, coach, counselor, etc...

Women have had to find ways to be stronger because there is such a shortage of men who are strong. I mean, REAL MEN. Men who can take on the role of protector and encourager. Men who aren't afraid of a strong woman. Men who can truly love a woman through thick and thin. Men who stand up for what's right. Men who can admit when they've messed up. Men who don't give a million excuses for why they CAN'T BE this kind of man.

So, as women, what should we do? Buck up and take the reins ourselves? Search for a man who may or may not fail us? Do we trust once we've been betrayed? Or do we keep our hearts closed off so we can't be hurt?