#tris feels

I just realized

I keep looking in the mirror. For the first time in ages I'm attracted to the through of the glass for more then mere moments after seeing myself in it. It's amazing what a little ink can do. Mirrors tend to creep me out and I avoid them for a few reasons. I hate myself. I hate the view in mirrors. I hate my response to seeing myself in the mirror. Pick, pick, picking and tearing myself apart. It's amazing what a little ink can do. But looking today after coming back to the house, I see something from Home. Something I relate to very personally. Something I know that I love, and makes me love myself a little more. I keep looking. Will it suddenly disappear? Have I been dreaming this whole thing? It's amazing what a little ink can do. A piece of me that won't be destroyed, that will not be taken away. Can't be stolen from me easily by pickpockets, bullies or people who hate what I am. I'm attached to it so quickly. I can't imagine having waited longer. It's amazing what a little ink can do. I want to cover my body in art that reflects who I am and what I feel, and why I feel that way. With Ink. With Brands. With Scars. With Pens and Markers. With Weather and Nature. I'm amazed at finally touching this canvas with intent and realizing that it's been marked many times before. But this one is deliberate and non harmful. I sought it out. It's amazing what a little ink can do. Even when it's covered I will know it's there. I can touch it, and feel a bit of courage, and hope. I feel right, having my Symbol hang over my heart. To remind me physically once again of Myself, and what I need to be and remember.

I once saw a shirt that said "I prefer the drummer"

Sanguis non facit nos

You ooze that mother bear feeling, and I love that feeling, but I'm always afraid to talk to you more than I do. I love you and all, but you're scary sometimes. And while I do sympathize with you on certain things, sometimes your low lows can frighten me. But I always hope you get better.