#triptuckers

Inej is one of your closest friends, and you would die for her. Hell, you almost did die for her a couple of months ago. Still, you couldn’t help but to feel jealous of her. Of the way Kaz looked at her.

Whenever Kaz was looking at Inej and you caught him, it didn’t take long for you to fall down a rabbit hole of insecure and jealous thoughts.

You’d think of everything Inej can do that you cannot do. She has a gifts for knives, you know your way around guns, not knives. When she’s sneaking around, she almost becomes one with the shadows, you couldn’t soundlessly sneak up to someone even if you tried. 

You always concluded Inej was better than you on more than one aspect. You figured she would be a better match for Kaz than you could ever be. You were ashamed of being so jealous of your friend when all Kaz did was look at her. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get rid of the jealousy. 

After Kaz has rolled up the blueprints and everyone went over the plan one last time, you say your goodnights and all head back to your own rooms. You’re barely aware of your movements as your legs carry you to your room. When you move to open the door to your room, a familiar whistle makes you look up.

‘The offer for some company still stands.’ says Jesper, and he winks at you before entering his own room, next to yours in the hallway.

While Jesper didn’t have Kaz’ gift for coming up with plans, he wasn’t stupid. He had caught you looking at Kaz a couple of times, then decided to speak up. As soon as the opportunity presented himself, he’d taken you apart from the others and confronted you about your staring. 

You were shocked, asking him how he could have possible figured it out. Jesper merely raised his eyebrows and told you you’re always looking at Kaz. You hadn’t realised you looked at Kaz so many times. Ever since, Jesper has offered a listening ear. And though you appreciated it, you weren’t ready to talk about your feelings just yet. 

As you’re taking your boots off, your mind wanders to Kaz again. And the way he looked at Inej. He didn’t show his feelings that often, but you couldn’t help but notice how soft his eyes were when he looked at Inej. It drove you crazy, and you didn’t like that it did. You felt like you were going to explode if you kept pushing these feelings down any longer. Maybe having someone listen to you didn’t seem like such a bad idea after all.

Not bothering to put your boots back on, you get up and leave your room. You take a few steps to get in front of Jesper’s door. Though it’s not that late and he’s probably still awake, you hesitate. What if he just wanted to be a good friend, but wasn’t actually interested in your thoughts on Kaz?

You sigh and shake your head, clearing your mind. You then raise your hand and knock on the door. After a few seconds it opens, revealing Jesper. He’s taken off his coat and boots, leaving him in just a shirt and a pair of trousers. He smiles when he sees you.

‘I see you do want my company?’ he says. ‘Only if you don’t mind.’ you say. ‘Of course not.’ he says, stepping aside so you can enter his room.

You take a seat in the only chair in the room as Jesper closes the door. He walks over to his bed and sits down as you tuck your feet under your legs, getting comfortable.

‘So.’ says Jesper. ‘Am I problem solving or listening?’

You frown at his words. ‘What does that mean?’ you ask him.

‘Well, it’s the easiest way to prevent a fight.’ explains Jesper. ‘If I’m problem solving, I’ll give you advice and come up with solutions. If I’m listening, I’m just going to shut up and, well, listen. So, am I problem solving or listening?’

‘Listening, I guess.’ you say.

‘Alright.’ says Jesper, leaning back against the wall and stretching his legs in front of him. He gestures with his hand to you. ‘Let it all out then, love.’

You don’t know where to begin. Jesper is patient as you’re searching for the words. Without realising, you start to play with your fingers, a habit of yours which you do when you’re thinking or anxious.

‘It starts... Well, when I became a member of the Dregs, I guess. I was young, but Kaz was around my age. We became close friends. That is, as far as being close friends with Kaz goes. I trusted him, he trusted me. We spent months working our way up to the top and along the way you tagged along, and Inej, Nina, Matthias and Wylan. I care about all of you, but there’s just something  different about Kaz.’ you tell him.

Jesper looks at you but doesn’t say anything. He’s just listening, exactly like he said he would.

‘It started off as an innocent crush. Saints, I sound like some school girl. Anyway, somewhere along the way that little crush developed into something more. And now I can’t stop looking at him or thinking about him. And now that I’ve said this out loud, I realise you are the first person I’ve talked to about this.’ 

You’re silent for a while as you look at Jesper. You were afraid he’d laugh at you, but he’s just sitting on his bed, looking at you. 

‘I can tell there’s still something else on your mind.’ he simply says. You let out a sigh and nod, and start talking again.

‘He’s always looking at Inej. Whenever I look at him, he’s looking at Inej. I know I shouldn’t feel the way I do, but I cannot pretend it doesn't make me a little jealous. The first time I saw him looking at Inej, I wished he looked at me like that. I know this sounds stupid, but I really can’t help it. And once I catch him looking at her, I start to think about how I’m not worth it.’ you say.

Now Jesper frowns. ‘But you’re worth it.’ he says. You chuckle softly and shake your head.

‘She’s everything I’m not. She’s pretty, she’s very skilled with her knives, she can sneak up to anyone without being seen or heard. She knows the secrets of everyone in the Barrel. She could take down the Merchant council all on her own if she wanted to. I can’t do that.’ you say. 

‘I know I said I was listening, but can I just offer you one piece of advice?’ asks Jesper. You nod. ‘You say you notice the way Kaz looks at Inej, I have noticed that as well. He looks at her the way you look at him. Don’t you think you should try to admit to yourself that he’s only going to be looking at her, and not you?’

‘Deep down I know that.’ you say softly. ‘But I can’t fully wrap my head around that. Not just yet, at least.’

‘Alright.’ says Jesper. ‘Maybe not now, but if you give it time, maybe it’ll hurt less.’

You look at him and smile as you get up. ‘Thank you Jesper.’ you say. ‘This is nice. Having someone listen to you.’

Jesper gets up as well as you walk toward the door. ‘The door’s always open to you.’ says Jesper as he opens the door for you. ‘You can always swing by.’

‘Thanks.’ you say as you step out onto the hallway. ‘Goodnight, Jes.’  ‘Night, Y/N.’ he says as you walk the few steps to the door of your room.

After that conversation, your nightly visits to Jesper’s room increase. Sometimes he’s problem solving, sometimes he’s listening, and sometimes you just sit in silence when all you want is some company.

There’s even one night in which you actually fell asleep when you were sitting on his bed, and when you woke up the next morning, you found Jesper sleeping on the floor while using his coat as a blanket. Your heart melted a little, but you decided not to speak up as you snuck out of his room.

Weeks pass, and slowly your visits turn from seeking advice about Kaz to enjoying a conversation with Jesper. He makes you laugh as he tells you stories about how he used to drive his parents crazy doing god knows what at their farm. In return, you tell him about the life you lived before you came to Ketterdam.

Another couple of visits later, and you’ve almost completely forgotten that you originally started visiting Jesper to talk about Kaz. You notice you’ve stopped sneaking glances at Kaz. You’re not even jealous when you catch him looking at Inej again. 

Instead, your attention is on Jesper. More than once, he caught your eye and sent a wink you way, making you smile and turn away.

Your nightly visits increase even more, and you can be found in Jesper’s room almost every night, laughing at his jokes.  

After a particularly long night that involved keeping tabs on the security of one of the banks for hours, you find yourself in front of Jesper’s room again. Kaz had sent you out on the job, and you had hoped Jesper would be in his room when you got back.

But after knocking three times, he still hasn’t opened the door. You whistle a familiar tune, hoping he’d answer the door. When he doesn’t, you kick over a tiny tin can that sits on the floor next to the door.

‘So predictable.’ you murmur as you bend down to pick up the key that was underneath it. Knowing Jesper probably wouldn’t mind, you let yourself in and walk over to the only chair in the room.

You let yourself settle in and reach out to take the deck of cards Jesper always keeps on his nightstand. 

You’re fooling around with the cards, if only to keep yourself busy as you wait for Jesper. You’re shuffling the cards, moving them smoothly in your hands.

‘Can you teach me that?’ 

At the sudden voice, you drop half of the cards. You hadn’t seen or heard him coming. Jesper chuckles as he walks over and stands behind you, looking out over the city beneath you.

‘This is my favourite view.’ he says, looking out the window.

‘Mine too.’ you say, while you look at the reflection of his face in the window. You then fully realise you haven’t talked about Kaz in weeks, that you just come to Jesper’s room for a conversation and some company, and you remember the night he slept on the floor.

‘Jes?’ you ask him. ‘Yea love?’ he says. ‘The other night when I was here-’ ‘Care to specify which night?’ 

‘I fell asleep, and when I woke up you were sleeping on the floor.’ ‘Oh, that night.’ he says. ‘Well, would you rather I had pushed you off the bed?’ ‘No.’ you laugh.

Jesper laughs too and you look at each other in silence afterward. It’s a comfortable silence, and he’s the first one to speak up.

‘You haven’t talked about Kaz in a while.’ he says. ‘Finally realised his heart belongs to someone else?’

‘Yes, well, I realised that so does mine.’ you say. This makes Jesper frown. 

‘Already moving on?’ he says. ‘Thought your feelings for him were more serious.’

‘They were.’ you say. ‘But I've found someone who listens to me, who sees me, who makes me laugh.’ you cock your head to the side a little and look at him. ‘Nice to look at, as well.’

Jesper raises one eyebrow.

‘Who is this mystery person?’ he says. ‘And am I problem solving or listening?’ ‘Well I hope you’re gonna do something else.’ you say. Jesper frowns again, making you playfully roll your eyes.

‘Not the smartest tonight, are we?’ you say. ‘Let me repeat it: I've found someone who listens to me, sees me, and makes me laugh. and not bad to look at.’ 

He’s still frowning. ‘Another hint?’ he says. ‘This is why Kaz does the planning and has the brains.’ you say, laughing.‘Rude.’ says Jesper.

‘It’s a he, and he’s caring and sweet, sometimes struggles to sit still, loves a good gunfight, he’s an excellent shot.’ you say.

Jesper smirks at you and then fakes a look of confusion on his face. ‘Still not getting it.’ he says. ‘Tell me more about him.’

You laugh and get up, standing close to him. ‘He’s not just an excellent shot, he’s the best damn sharpshooter in Ketterdam. Saved my ass a couple times as well. Owns a pair of stunningly hand made revolvers. He’s Zemini, taller than me, and..’ your voice drifts off.

‘And?’ says Jesper, stepping closer to you. ‘And I've been wondering if he’s a good kisser.’ you say softly. 

‘Well, let’s find out, shall we?’ says Jesper and he cups your face with both of his hands and presses his lips against yours. They’re soft, and you can taste a hint of his last drink on them. He kisses you gently but passionate, and takes a  breath when he pulls away.

‘Hmm.’ you say, pretending to think. ‘Yea, pretty good.’

‘Pretty good?’ says Jesper. ‘I've heard I'm more than a pretty good kisser.’

‘Prove it then.’ you say.

Jesper smirks and pulls you in for a kiss once more. This one is different, it’s more demanding, and leaves you breathless as you struggle to keep your knees from buckling. 

He pulls away and rests his forehead against yours. ‘How about that?’ he says softly.

You smile and press a quick kiss to his lips. ‘You live up to your reputation, Fahey.’ you say. ‘You’re an excellent kisser.’

‘Just like I thought.’ says Jesper. ‘Do you want to stay here tonight?’

‘I would love to.’ you say.

You spend the rest of the night talking with Jesper until eventually, you feel yourself falling asleep. You feel how Jesper moves next to you, to take his spot on the floor again. You lay a hand on his arm to stop him, silently telling him it’s okay and that he doesn’t have to sleep on the floor.

Kaz wasn’t the right match for you, Inej is. But Jesper certainly is your match.

You stretch your arms until you hear a satisfying pop in your shoulders. You step over a few pairs of legs of sleeping men until you find a spot to sit down. 

‘You look tired.’ says Rex softly as you sit down next to him.

‘Hmm.’ you hum, letting your head fall back to rest against the rock you’re sitting in front of. ‘M not really a fan of night watch.’ you mumble.

‘Then why did you volunteer to take the first watch?’ asks Rex. ‘So you guys could get some rest.’ you say, nodding your head to the sleeping men. 

‘Dawn is coming soon, you should get some rest while you still can.’ says Rex. ‘You too, Captain.’ you answer, closing your eyes and shifting into a somewhat more comfortable position. 

Merely seconds after you’ve closed your eyes, you’re out like a light. Next to you, Rex closes his eyes as well, even though he’s not nearly as tired as you are. 

Suddenly, a weight falls on his shoulder and he freezes up, opening his eyes. He slightly moves his head to see what the weight pressing on his shoulder is, and he finds your head resting on it. 

He doesn’t dare to move, afraid he might wake you. He hears someone chuckling and sees Fives wiggling his eyebrows and Echo winking at him. Rex glares at them.

‘Not a word.’ he whispers, only making Fives and Echo chuckle again. 

Rex doesn’t move and remains as still as possible. He looks at you from the corner of his eyes and a smile appears on his face. You looked really tired during today’s journey, and you were very quiet, which is rare. You deserve some rest and the last thing Rex wants to do is wake you. 

Though he’d never admit it, he likes having you sleeping on his shoulder. He’s known you for quite some time, fought some battles with you, and you make a great team. 

No one ever says it out loud, but everyone knows you belong to Rex.

A couple of hours pass and the sun has started to slowly illuminate the planet. You’ve slept the entire time and Rex hasn’t moved a muscle. The 501st is slowly waking up, and Anakin and Ahsoka make their way back to the group. 

Anakin raises his eyebrows at the sight of you asleep on Rex’ shoulder, but Ahsoka merely smiles and doesn’t pay a lot of attention to the two of you, as she’s more than aware of the unspoken thing between you. 

A slight blush appears on Rex’ cheeks just as you start to stir awake. You rub your eyes and it takes you a while to take in your surroundings. You look up to see Rex looking down at you. Immediately, you remove your head from his shoulder, mumbling an apology.

‘Sorry.’ you quickly say. ‘I didn’t- I was asleep, didn’t realise it, sorry.’

‘You don’t have to apologise.’ says Rex. ‘You were tired, it’s fine. I didn’t want to wake you.’

‘This is embarrassing.’ you say softly, looking at the ground instead of Rex’ eyes. 

‘Is it?’ he says. 

You look back at him in silence. From the corner of you eye you see Fives and Echo curiously looking your way.

‘You can sit next to me, when we need to rest again.’ says Rex. ‘I.. liked it, if I’m being honest.’ 

A smile forms on your lips. ‘Alright, Captain.’ you say.

You get to your feet and extend a hand to Rex. He grabs a hold of it and allows you to pull him to his feet. You then turn to look at Fives and Echo, who are just a little too late to subtly look away.

‘Morning Fives, Echo.’ you say cheerfully. ‘Let’s get going, shall we?’ 

Your fingertips are soft. They caress the skin on his chest. They slowly draw random figures on his stomach. Trailing up and down. Though he’s awake now, Bucky keeps his eyes closed. He wants to linger in the moment and your touch for a little while longer. 

He was hesitant, at first. He’d always had trouble trusting people and opening up to them. When you met him, he was scared. You didn’t blame him. You knew his story, what he’d been through, what they’d done to him. You understood that he was anxious, frightened. You would feel the same way if it were you.

And so you were patient. You gave him all the time he needed. And it paid off.

With time, Bucky started to trust you more. The process was slow, and there had been some set backs when you accidentally moved too fast or asked him about something he wasn’t ready to talk about.

But you never shut him out. You never left him. You remained patient. You remained gentle, loving and soft. And Bucky was grateful.

No matter how many times Bucky told you he didn’t deserve you, that you’d be better off with someone who could give you a normal life, you never left. You promised him you’d stay.

Your fingers are soft.

Bucky finally opens his eyes and looks over to his side. You’re looking at him with a faint smile on your face.

You can’t believe how beautiful he is. You know he doesn’t believe you. You’ve spend every day since you met him trying to get him to see the truth. But he never does.

‘You’re beautiful.’ you whisper.

‘Good morning to you too.’ he whispers back.

You’re leaning on your hand, looking down at him. your fingers move from his chest to his cheek.

‘Your fingers are soft.’ Bucky states, making you chuckle. ‘Yeah?’ you say, and he nods. ‘It’s different.’ he says. ‘I’m not used to it.’

You’re silent as you look at him. You know the tone in his voice. You only hear it when it’s early in the morning or late at night. Or when it’s a rainy day and you’re cuddling up next to him on the couch. Or when it’s a sunny day and you’re in the garden, soaking up the sun.

It’s the tone he always speaks in when he talks about his past. 

You’ve learned how to recognise the signs, and know what to do. So you’re silent, and wait for him to continue speaking.

‘They were always harsh.’ says Bucky softly. ‘Not like you. You’re gentle. They didn’t care. No one did. They didn’t care how uncomfortable I was or how much pain they caused me. I was always their experiment, their puppet, their winter soldier.’

Bucky closes his eyes and leans into your touch. You slowly stroke his cheek with your thumb.

‘I hated it.’ he sighs softly.

‘I know you did.’ you whisper. ‘But you don’t have to go back to that. Ever. And I know you still have nightmares and flashbacks, and I don’t think they’ll ever leave. But I won’t leave either. It’ll never go away, but you can learn how to live with the memories. I’ll help you.’

‘You’re amazing.’ he mumbles.

‘Do you have plans for today?’ you ask him.

‘Just a training session with sam.’ says Bucky. ‘But not until after lunch.’ ‘Good.’ you say.  ‘Why, do you have any plans?’ he asks.

‘No, but I just wanted a morning with you before you run off doing god knows what again.’ you say, earning a soft chuckle from him. 

Bucky reaches out to pull you closer. You shiver a bit when his metal hand touches your skin. Luckily, you’ve gotten used to the material. When you first met him, his metal arm was another barrier you had to break.

He hated the thing. Though it took him a while to actually admit this to you out loud, you’d noticed his behaviour. The looks he gave himself in the morning when he saw himself in the mirror. He’d trail his fingers over the line where his own flesh met the cold material.

You never touched his arm in the beginning. Afraid it would be a bridge too far, that it would take you back to when you first met, and you had to earn his trust all over again.

The first time you actually touched his arm, you wasn’t aware he was awake. It was late and you thought he’d fallen asleep. You knew he didn’t like his arm, especially the red star on his shoulder. It reminded him too much of the horrors of his past. So, when you thought he was asleep, you took out a marker and drew on the star, covering it. You put lines around the circle, creating a sun. 

When Bucky realised what you’d done, he was speechless. You thought you had gone too far and you immediately started apologising, telling him you’d wash it off but his hands caught ahold of yours as he stopped your rambling.

He told you he didn’t mind. That you didn’t need to apologise. That it was okay and he even liked it a bit.

After the encounter, it became a habit of yours to draw a sun on his shoulder whenever he was feeling stressed or anxious. It was your way to tell him without words it was going to be okay.

‘A morning with you sounds nice.’ says Bucky as you rest your head on his bare chest.

‘Unless Natasha comes bursting in again, we’ve got the whole morning to ourselves.’ you say.

The two of you lay in silence for a while. You watch the sun slowly rise. While being safely tucked away in Bucky’s arms, you almost fall asleep again, but his voice prevents you from doing so.

‘I never thanked you, you know?’ he says.

‘For what?’ you mumble, feeling your eyes get heavier.

‘For seeing me as a human being, and not a soldier or some sort of scientific experiment.’ he says.

‘You don’t need to thank me for that.’ you say. ‘I just tell you what I see, that’s all. And I don’t see a soldier or experiment, I just see a beautiful and kind hearted man.’

‘Still, you could have easily hated me.’ says Bucky softly.

‘But i don’t.’ you say, lifting your head so you can look at him. ‘It’s so much easier to hate someone than to love them. Hate is a strong emotion, it can quickly consume you without you even realising it. But love, on the other hand, is complicated. It takes bravery to show another human all of you. To allow them inside your head. Lovers are far more courageous than people who hate.’

‘I’m lucky you love me.’ says Bucky. ‘I’m so incredibly lucky.’

You smile and lean in to kiss him. ‘I love you.’ you whisper against his lip, making him smile. ‘I love all of you, Bucky.’ you say.

Two days ago, they had landed on the planet after receiving intel there might be a hidden seperatist base. Anakin and Ahsoka went one way, Obi-wan and you the other. You were supposed to rendezvous that same day, only you never showed.

Anakin and Ahsoka thought you were just a little late, that you got held up. But when you didn’t show the next morning, they called in reinforcements. When Rex and his men arrived, they split up again and went searching for Obi-wan and you. So far without any luck.

‘Rex, come in.’ says Anakin into his comm.

‘Here, sir.’ comes Rex’ voice.

‘Ahsoka and I are going to check out some caves near the ravine in the south. There’s a lot of ground to cover, so it might be good for you and your men to come up here as well.’ says Anakin.

‘Right away, sir.’ says Rex.

‘Alright.’ says Anakin as they reach the first caves. ‘Obi-wan would probably get in one of the caves for shelter during the night. I’ll start with this one, you start with that one.’

Ahsoka and Anakin both go their own way and enter the dark caves.

Anakin activates his lightsaber so he can see where he’s going. Only a few steps in, he notices a dark shape in the distance. 

He’s immediately on high alert, as he was trained to do. But whoever - or whatever - the shape is, it’s not a dangerous presence in the force.

Anakin slowly steps closer, his lightsaber raised. As he reaches the shape and illuminates it, his lips part in surprise. He slowly backs away, out of the cave, looking for Ahsoka.

‘Ahsoka!’ he says. It takes a while for her head to appear around the corner of the entrance of the cave she was in.

‘How long ‘til Rex and his men are here?’ he asks.

‘Not long.’ she says. ‘Why?’

‘Come see this.’ he says. 

Anakin walks Ahsoka into the cave he emerged from. When they reach the shape and the light from their lightsabers falls upon it, Ahsoka can’t help but let out a soft noise of awe.

They’ve found Obi-wan and you. 

Obi-wan is sitting on the ground, his back against the stone wall of the cave. His head rests against the stone and his eyes are closed.

You’re on the ground as well, but not entirely. Your head, arms and most part of your torso are on Obi-wan’s lap. One of his hands is in both of yours and his other rests on your hip.

‘Took them long enough.’ says Anakin softly, making Ahsoka chuckle. ‘Go tell Rex we’ve found them. I’ll wake them.’ says Anakin.

While Ahsoka steps back to contact Rex, Anakin moves closer to you. He kneels in front of you and softly shakes Obi-wan’s shoulder.

Obi-wan stirs a bit, but doesn’t wake up. Anakin shakes his shoulder again. Still no reaction. His hand moves to your shoulder instead, and he shakes it.

Unlike Obi-wan, you do wake up at the movement. Your hand instinctively finds its way to your lightsaber, only to fall to your side when you see Anakin’s eyes in front of you.

‘Good morning Y/N.’ he says in his signature playful tone. ‘Had a nice nap?’

‘Oh, shut it.’ you say. You move to sit up against the wall next to Obi-wan, subconsciously still holding his hand.

‘How’d you guys find us?’ you ask.

‘Anakin thought you’d head for the caves. And he was right.’ says Ahsoka, joining the three of you. She turns to Anakin. ‘Rex and his men are here any minute, and then we can return to the ship.’ she says. 

‘Finally.’ says Anakin. ‘Can’t wait to get off this planet. Let’s get moving.’ 

You turn to look at the still sleeping Obi-wan next to you. Suddenly you realize what Anakin and Ahsoka have seen. You turn to look at them, a panicked look in your eyes. Ahsoka seems to almost read your mind and carelessly waves her hand.

‘Ah, don’t worry. We can keep a secret.’ she says, smiling at you.

‘Thank you.’ you say before nudging Obi-wan’s shoulder.

‘Obi-wan.’ you say. ‘Wake up.’

Obi-wan stirs awake, his head falling onto your shoulder. ‘Five more minutes, darling.’ he mumbles sleepily.

‘Anakin and Ahsoka have found us.’ you say. 

Upon hearing your words, his eyes snap open and he quickly lifts his head off your shoulder.

‘Anakin!’ he says. ‘Ahsoka! You didn’t-‘

‘We have gone temporarily blind.’ says Ahsoka, closing her eyes.

‘I can’t see a thing.’ says Anakin, closing his eyes as well and pretending to walk around with his arms stretched to prevent himself from walking into a wall. ‘It’s way too dark in here. I suggest we go outside.’ says Anakin.

You playfully roll your eyes and get to your feet, pulling Obi-wan along with you. 

‘All right, people who can see, pair up with a blind person and let’s get out of here.’ you say, earning a chuckle from Obi-wan as the four of you start to make your way to the light at the end of the cave. 

‘Of course I do.’ you say from your position on the sofa. ‘You wore that after you went out with the boys, and that’s when I knew I was in love with you.’

Rex smiles at your words and walks over to you. You sit up so he can sit down next to you. He wraps his arm around your shoulder and you gladly cuddle closer to him.

‘You didn’t have any plans for tonight, right?’ asks Rex. ‘Nope.’ you say. ‘A whole glorious night off.’ ‘Why don’t we go to 79′s with some of the boys?’ he says.  ‘You’d be okay with that?’ you question.

You close your eyes and silently curse at yourself for letting it slip. When you open your eyes you see Rex is looking at you, clearly confused by your words.

‘Yes?’ he says. ‘Why wouldn’t I be okay with it? I’m the one proposing it.’ ‘Forget I said that, it’s nothing.’ you say and you get up off the couch but Rex grabs a hold of your wrist and gently pulls you back.

‘You know you can talk to me.’ he says.

You look at him and debate whether or not you should tell him. You only ever told him you went out with one other guy before you got together. Rex always sensed you didn’t want to talk about him, and he didn’t pressure you into opening up. 

His eyes lock onto yours as he patiently waits, aware of the battle that’s going on in your mind. 

‘It’s just...’ you sigh. You move so you can sit sideways on the couch, facing him. You take Rex’ hands in yours and absently play with his fingers, trying to figure out how to tell him.

‘You know I was hanging out with another guy before we got together.’ you start. ‘He... didn’t exactly like it when we’d go out together. To 79′s or another bar. He was afraid I might eye someone else or get another guy’s attention. We started going out less until eventually he forbid me from going out at all.’

You look up from yours and Rex’ intertwined hands. He’s looking at you with just the slightest bit of concern in his eyes. 

‘Why didn’t you tell me this?’ he asks after a while. 

You shrug. ‘I don’t know.’ you say quietly. ‘Maybe I was embarrassed or ashamed. You know I don’t particularly enjoy talking about him.’

‘Why would he even do that in the first place?’ says Rex, more to himself than to you.

‘Because he knew Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments, and he threatened to got to the council and have me kicked out of the order, if I didn’t listen to him.’ you say, not meeting Rex’ eyes and looking at the ground instead.

‘He did what?’ exclaims Rex.

‘Rex, please.’ you say. ‘I don’t want to talk about it. He did some shitty things, yes, but I would much rather focus on the present. He’s no longer in my life, and I’m right here with you.’

‘Right. Sorry I brought it up again.’ says Rex.

You lift your gaze to look at him, a soft smile on your lips. You really did manage to get the best one. Your eyes fall on the shirt Rex had dropped before he came over to you.

‘Do you want to go to 79′s?’ you ask him. 

At this, Rex raises his eyebrows in surprise. ‘Do you want to?’ he says.

‘I never disliked going out.’ you admit. ‘I just didn't like going out with him because he was trying to control my every move. I’d like to go to 79′s with you, and maybe some of the boys.’

‘We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.’ says Rex. ‘It’s okay, Rex. I want to.’ you say. ‘On one condition.’ ‘Anything.’ ‘You wear that shirt.’ you say and Rex laughs and nods. ‘Only because you like it so much.’ he says.

Some time later, the two of you finished getting ready. You took considerably longer than Rex, because you kept changing your outfit and hair. Even though Rex told you you looked beautiful every single time. 

After a quick stop, you and Rex head to 79′s, along with Fives, Jesse, Kix and Cody.

While you’re on your way, you’re nervously tugging at the sleeves of your shirt. Rex takes notice of it, and grabs your hand, lacing his fingers through yours. You shoot him a thankful smile as you continue your way to the bar.

You’re grateful the bar isn’t as crowded as it normally is. Jesse and Fives head to the bar to get everyone their drinks, while the rest of you goes off to find an empty booth. After finding one and squeezing in, Rex uses the opportunity to lean in closer to you.

‘If at any point you want to leave, just say the word and I’ll take you home, alright?’ he says.

You smile and nod at him. ‘Thank you.’ you say softly. 

At first, you’re a bit shy and not really engaging in the conversations. But once you start to get more comfortable, and after a few drinks, you’re happily chatting away along with everyone else. 

You’re listening to their stories and laughing at their jokes. You’re having such a good time, you realise how much you actually missed going out with friends.

Just as you grab a glass to take a shot after losing another round of a drinking game you’re playing with Jesse, Rex takes the glass instead and puts it down. You look at him and pout.

‘I was gonna drink that!’ you say, trying to take the glass from him. ‘I think you’ve had enough to drink, mesh’la’ he says. ‘Let’s go home.’ ‘I haven’t finished the game! I’m winning!’ you protest, making Rex chuckle. ‘I don’t think you are.’ he says before leaning in closer. ‘How about we go home now, and we can cuddle until you fall asleep. I don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow morning and neither have you.’

Rex watches your puzzled expression as you’re thinking about his offer. After some time, you smile and nod at him. 

You and Rex say your goodbyes to the others, and you let Rex guide you through the crowd of people toward the exit of the bar. You’re happily chatting away as Rex holds you steady while you walk. 

Lucky for you, most of the halls are empty as you make your way to Rex’ quarters. He’s trying to get you to stay quiet, but you’re still telling him story after story. When he finally gets to his quarters, he takes you inside and walks you to the bed, where he sits you down.

You smile as you look up at him. ‘Hey.’ you say, making him smile as well. ‘Hey there.’ he says. ‘Look I know I’m tipsy- or drunk.’ you correct yourself after Rex raises his eyebrows at you. ‘But I really, really love you.’ you say.

‘Well, I really, really love you too.’ he says and he leans in to kiss your forehead. You yawn and rub your eyes, as sleep finally starts to get the better of you. Somehow hours had passed while you were having fun at 79′s. 

‘Let’s get you into something more comfortable and then to bed, yeah?’ says Rex and you nod, closing your eyes. You feel how Rex takes off your clothes and replaces them with some of his for you to sleep in. You jump a little when he softly drags a wet cloth over your face.

‘C’mon.’ he says softly, helping you lay down before getting in the bed next to you. You instinctively move closer to him and lay your head on his chest.

‘Rex?’ you mumble. He hums in response. ‘I love you.’ you say. His chest moves beneath your head as he chuckles.  ‘You already told me that tonight.’ he says. ‘I don’t care, I’m telling you again.’ you say.

You feel how Rex kisses the top of your head. ‘Goodnight, mesh’la, I love you too.’

Today was a very busy day, and you’re tired. Your body is begging for you to get some rest, but you have to meditate first. You figured it could be a short session. 

You sit down and cross your legs. After pressing your palms on your thighs to help ground yourself, you take a few deep breaths. You concentrate on the force flowing through you, allowing it to take you wherever it wants you to go.

After a while, you’re aware a familiar presence in the force is coming closer. 

Luke is always silent when he enters your quarters, yet you always notice him. You really can’t help it. His presence in the force is just so calming to you. 

You remain in your position for a while after you’ve noticed Luke’s presence. When you finally decide to stop meditating and go to sleep as well, you can tell Luke’s been there for a while.

He’s fast asleep, his chest rising slowly on the rhythm of his steady breathing. You get up off the floor and stretch your arms, back and legs before laying down next to him. 

As soon as you lay down, Luke starts to shift. No matter how long he’d been asleep for, he always wakes when you lay down next to him. You always try to not to move too much, but it’s no use. 

You move closer to him, your arms reaching out to him. Luke does the same, pulling you into his arms. You move even closer and your feet touch his. He suddenly squeezes your shoulders, mumbling a sleepy ‘Shit! Y/N!’

‘What?’ you whisper. ‘What’d I do?’ ‘Your feet are freezing.’ mumbles Luke, making you laugh.  ‘They can’t be that cold.’ you say softly. ‘Oh, yes, they are.’ he says.

You smirk and pull your legs up, firmly planting your feet on his legs. 

‘Ahh Y/N!’ Luke exclaims. You laugh again as he pushes your feet away from him. You raise your feet to put them on his legs again, but Luke’s faster. With one swift movement of his arms, he turns your body so your back is pressed against his chest.

‘So you can be the big spoon, you just prefer to be the little spoon.’ you tease. ‘Shut up and go to sleep, Y/N.’ says Luke.  ‘Only because I’m so comfortable being the little spoon.’ you say. ‘It’s nice to have some change once in a while.’ ‘I said shut up and go to sleep.’ says Luke, but you can hear in his voice he’s smiling. 

You shift a bit to get more comfortable and Luke uses it as an opportunity to pull you closer to him. You feel his chest move against your back as he’s breathing.

‘Night, Luke.’ you whisper. ‘Goodnight.’ says Luke with a kiss to your shoulder.

The entire kitchen is covered in various pieces of food along with some spices. There’s even some mess on the floor, and you’re standing in the middle of it, your back to him. 

Even if you would just get up to get a snack, why would you turn the kitchen - which isn’t even that big - into a realistic miniature battlefield? 

Anakin watches you for a while as you mess around with the food. He notices you’re not being careful at all. The longer he watches you, the more confused he gets. Were you making some kind of experimental meal? You’re combining foods and spices he’s sure aren’t going to taste good.

He wants to ask you what in maker’s name you’re doing, when you turn around. Your eyes are open, but it’s like you don’t even see Anakin. It’s like you’re looking right through him, at the wall behind him.

‘Y/N?’ he says carefully.

‘No, we don’t need the blue ones. Put them back.’ you say.

Anakin frowns but can’t help but to laugh as well. The blue ones? What were you talking about?

‘What are you saying?’ he asks you.

‘She couldn’t make that jump. Look, she’s got tiny legs.’ you say.

At this point, Anakin is completely confused. You’re not making any sense. Cooking a meal, getting stains everywhere and making a mess. While saying things that he can’t wrap his head around.

‘Are you alright?’ he asks.

‘No, Rex, ask him. He’ll tell you. Or not.’ you say.

Anakin frowns as he looks at you. You still seem to look right through him. He carefully moves closer and lays his hands on your shoulders.

‘Y/N?’ he says.

As an answer, you let out a string of rambling he’s sure isn’t even a language. He softly shakes your shoulders, his eyes fixed on yours. The odd look in your eyes disappears, and your eyelids seem to grow heavier.

‘Ani?’ you say, suppressing a yawn.  ‘Are you alright?’ he asks you. ‘Hmm?’ you close your eyes and slightly lean forward. ‘Yea. Tired.’ you say.‘Alright.’ says Anakin. ‘Let’s get you to bed, then.’

While slightly worrying about your state, he guides you back to the bed. Your back has barely touched the bed before you’re already asleep. With one wave of his hand, Anakin turns off the kitchen lights and moves closer to you, falling asleep as well.

He wakes before you do, which is rare. When Anakin opens his eyes and looks over to your side, you’re still fast asleep, your face buried in your pillow. He leans over to your side to kiss your cheek before he gets up.

The kitchen is still a mess, he didn’t clean it yesterday. Anakin starts to clean up the mess, and he’s almost done when he hears you moving around in bed. A couple minutes later he hears footsteps and feels a warm hand on his shoulder.

‘What happened here?’ you ask. ‘Did you try to make breakfast and managed to explode the kitchen in the process?’

Anakin looks over his shoulder at you and chuckles softly. ‘I didn’t make this mess.’ he says. 

You frown at him. ‘I didn’t turn our kitchen into a warzone, if that’s what you’re implying.’ you say.

‘You tried to cook a meal last night.’ says Anakin.

‘You mean when I made us dinner? I didn’t leave the kitchen like this.’ you say while gesturing to the mess in front of you.

Anakin looks at you, a frown on his face. ‘You... don’t remember?’ he says. ‘Do I not remember what?’ you say. 

‘You tried to make a meal in the kitchen last night.’ says Anakin. ‘I woke up, saw light coming from the kitchen and I heard all sorts of noises. You weren’t beside me so I figured you were just getting a midnight snack. But when I got to the kitchen, you were standing here in the middle of all of it.’

You look at the mess and try to remember. Surely you would have known if you’d woken up in the middle of the night to make yourself a meal? Suddenly, it all starts to make sense. You look at Anakin with a smile on your face.

‘Did I say anything to you?’ you ask him.

‘That’s the weirdest part. You turned around and had this weird look in your eyes, as if you could see straight through me. And then I called your name and asked you if you were alright and you said the strangest things. You were talking about how we didn’t need the blue ones, that someone couldn’t make a jump because of her tiny legs, and then you seemed to be talking to Rex. You weren’t making any sense, so I took you back to bed.’ Anakin tells you.

You chuckle at his story and move past him to help clean up the last of the mess.

‘I was sleepwalking.’ you say. 

‘You were what?’ says Anakin, helping you clean up the mess.

‘Sleepwalking. Sometimes I get up in the middle of the night and walk around and do stuff. I’m not aware of it, though. Most of the times, like today, I don’t remember doing anything at all. But I do indeed keep my eyes open but aren’t aware of anyone around me. I can move around objects when I know they’re there, though, like the kitchen. I know where everything is, so I could manoeuvre around it even when I’m asleep.’ you explain.

‘But you said some things, too.’ says Anakin.

‘You talked to me, right? Sometimes when I’m sleepwalking and someone is with me, and they talk to me, I can respond. Most of the times it’s nonsense, though. Sometimes there’s actual words, but I never remember.’ you say. 

‘You never told me about this.’ says Anakin.

‘Why do you think I lock the doors every night? It’s not just to prevent Ahsoka from walking into your quarters when I’m there.’ you say.

Anakin looks at you. ‘Don’t tell me if you don’t lock the doors you actually leave your quarters.’ he says.

‘Trust me, you don’t want to go to sleep in your quarters and wake up in the council room.’ you say, getting up and throwing a dirty cloth on the counter.

‘You woke up in the council room?’ chuckles Anakin, moving to make you both a cup of caf.

‘Yep.’ you say, hopping on the counter. ‘Went to bed, woke up in the council room. Luckily Obi-Wan was the only one there. He entered the room and found me asleep in one of the chairs. I told him I probably wandered there while sleepwalking, and he proceeded to call me sleepwalking Y/N for over a year.’

Anakin laughs and hands yo a cup of caf. ‘So, you lock the doors in case you start wandering around the temple in the middle of the night. What can I do when, like last night, I wake up to you making a mess in the kitchen?’

‘Well, sometimes I get back to bed on my own. And if I don’t, I usually find somewhere else to sleep. If you’re awake and I’m sleepwalking, just guide me back to the bed. And if I’m not next to you when you wake up, make sure to look at the floor so you don’t trip over me.’ you say, taking a sip of your caf.

‘I honestly don’t believe this.’ says Anakin, laughing softly and moving so he could stand in between your legs. ‘Of all the stories you’ve told me, this is by far the weirdest one.’

You smile and lean in to kiss the tip of his nose. ‘Finish your caf.’ you say. ‘It’s still early, I can sneak back to my own quarters in time.’ 

‘You sure you can find it on your own without making a mess in the halls of the temple?’ says Anakin while smirking and you playfully slap his arm. ‘Yes, Skywalker, I’m pretty sure I can find my own quarters.’ you say.