#triannual throwback

So much stuff happened. Good and bad. Like. getting a job, but getting stressed over its demands. Earning money because of said job but having to budget accordingly (bc mom is adamant about savings and likes to stress me about future expenses). Having two start-ups, but the stress of having to handle these on top of work-related stress. Getting accepted into zines (I ALMOST CRIED WHEN THIS HAPPENED) but having to keep up with deadlines and sticking to drawing just that thing when I have free time. Finally getting my own room, but having to deal with my aunt’s stuff that she still hasn’t taken out from here.

It’s... great. I’m not that good at dealing with stress (yet. I’m working on it. Everything’s a work in progress right now.) and it did cause me a few days of lying down in bed and questioning my life choices and even letting off steam in an unhealthy and toxic way at my girlfriend (bless her for her patience and love for me, thank you for calming me down and helping me get better at this), but, when I take a step back and look at the bigger picture, I’m in a pretty good place right now.

It’s not perfect, there are a lot of kinks to fix (me not being at the house often, not being able to draw what I want when I want, sleeping and eating problems, backlog of chores, expenditures galore, not being able to hang out with friends because I’m too exhausted) and I’m still working on them, but I’m not in a bad place right now. Things are good. I can even call them great.

I just need to handle the stress and the pressure better. I have some pretty awesome rewards every now and then. (Good food every now and then, chilling with my family in all sorts of places, hanging out with co-workers, outings I can finally afford, and an aircon I’m in desperate need of) So, I should lessen my complaints and just learn to balance everything.

It will take time. And a whole lot of effort. But, everything’s going to be worth it in the end.

Will set up a couple of goals for the next four months. And, if I remember, I might end up doing something like this again. Maybe with a bit more coherency. But hey, can you blame the girl on a graveyard shift? I can’t keep messing up my body clock more than this.

Here’s to more hardships, but me crawling my way through all of them and being able to stand up on my feet again (with everyone’s support, even in ways I don’t always appreciate)