#traums

Its why I roll my eyes when I see love all transwomen post. Im trans. They're trans and I can promise you if I died they'd have a fucking celebration. Those wonderful polycules this place talks about aren't perfect for everyone and if you have BPD like me then prepared to be abandoned and suffer when they cut you out.

the secret diary of laura palmer, jennifer lynch

"grow up" im stuck ass a child.. and a part of it is your fault - Star

as for my actual, longer confession: i see people asking whether they're aro/ace or just traumatized/neurodivergent, but honestly? they're not mutually exclusive. neurodivergence can influence your orientation, yes, and trauma or other fears related to commitment can, too. but why should this be proof that you're not aro or ace? let's present this hypothethical where you're traumatized and it scares you off from romantic relationships, and you wonder 'am i really aro or is it just the trauma?' but then let me ask you, how should this prevent you from being aro? if you're averse towards relationships or you think that your psychological or neurological state has influenced you so now you're either not experiencing attraction or disgusted by it, then you still belong in our community! i'm neurodivergent, traumatized and aroace and it doesn't make me any less for being that way. if you choose to identify as aro/ace and later find out that you might want to try out a romantic or sexual relationship, then that's okay too! there's no misinformation to spread because your experience while identifying as aro/ace are still valuable even if you later experience attraction or decide that you want to try it out. there's also a difference between a desire for relationships and attraction, as the latter is the desire for a relationship with someone specific, whether romantically or sexually (in the case where it's a sexual relationship only, then i do not mean you're necessarily partnering; it's a general relationship and it involves sexual things, that's all it is). i offer to you a similar answer if you're a minor who's been wondering whether you're 'too young' or whether you will experience any attraction later. if you lack attraction due to trauma, neurodivergence or your age then your experience is similar to those of potential aro/aces, anyway, as the similarity is that there's no romantic or sexual attraction you're experiencing (which, remember, is the very definition of aromantic/asexual). your experience that is capable of changing in the future is still alike that of aspecs, even if you find out later that you're attracted to someone. that won't change the past. if you want to identify as aro/ace and it brings you comfort or peace, then i say go for it! this is your sign. i welcome you in our community if you wish to enter and i'll respect you just as much if you find out that you want to leave, should the moment arrive. some people may judge you but i ask of you to try and not let it get to you. you're okay just the way you are, whether your orientation was caused by your experiences or not, i promise! orientation can change, anyway. you'll be fine. ^_^

I just wanna get some sleep.