Jan : You want a latte or a caramel macchiato?
Kevin, drinking from tea cup : I'm mature now, I only drink espresso shots.
Jan : Why are your hands shaking?
Kevin : This is my fifth one. I may have a problem.

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Jan : You want a latte or a caramel macchiato?
Kevin, drinking from tea cup : I'm mature now, I only drink espresso shots.
Jan : Why are your hands shaking?
Kevin : This is my fifth one. I may have a problem.

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Maybe ''get out of my house'' will be our ''always''
Kevin, to Jan
Alex : I've seen Jan stay mad for years, but you're different, he loves you. He won't stay mad as long.
Kevin : Well how long will he be mad for? Days? Weeks?
Alex : What's the one after that?
Kevin : Months?
Alex : Yeah, that one.
Kevin : Kiss me if I'm wrong but dinosaurs still exist, right?
Jan, not looking up from his book : You're wrong.
Kevin : So kiss me.
Jan : No.
Jan : *Rolls over in bed and knees Kevin in the ribs*
Kevin : Oh!
Kevin : You kneed me!
Jan, sleepily : Yeah, I do need you.

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Jan : Your existence is confusing.
Kevin : How so?
Jan : Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.
Kevin : Moppes, I need your help, it's about Jan.
Moppes : What, did you sleep with him again?
Kevin : How does everybody know about this?
Jan : You read my diary?
Kevin : At first, I didn't know that it was your diary.
Kevin : I thought it was a very sad, handwritten book.