#transgeder

An then looks at you with big pathetic eyes and soft whines when you tell me to stop

a comprehensive review of situations in which i have been misgendered:

by a total stranger - it's fine. 3/10. i'll probably never see that stranger again and also it's not like i pass (or have anything to pass as. i'm nonbinary)

by ppl my age/in my classes - it feels WEIRD. and sort of alien. like they're stating a falsehood. 2.5/10

by my college professors - somehow doesn't bother me. it's not like i trust them to be trans accepting. and besides, they mostly refer to me as "Pani" (polish equivalent of "maam"), which makes me feel professional, which i like 4/10

here's the thing - I barely consider these situations to be misgendering (to me). since they have no way to know that i'm not cis and i haven't told them that i'm not. so. it doesn't hurt me. which leads us to the following:

being misgendered by ppl who know my real name and pronouns: it depends on the situation:

they misgender me once, apologize, correct themselves and move on. that's the correct way. 6/10

except this guy who has never used my pronouns correctly for on the first try. refers to me by my real name tho - also 6/10

they misgender me, get corrected (usually by someone else than me bc i'm both a coward and not care enough), but they still misgender me. deeply frustrating. 2/10.

they (especially someone i trust) misgeder me multiple times and never catch that. it's like a worst betrayal. a sinking paralyzing feeling. -10000/10

so yeah... that's why i rarely explicitly (i have a loose attitude towards my closet or whatever) out myself to people. it hurts less when someone misgenders me bc they dont know, than when they know and not care/realize.