L: All good for the chicken, Al?
L: Is that what we were talking about?
Z?: Oh. That's ahead (a head?)
everyone all at once: blahdkaeroiuasdkfj that's a head. thats a good head. good head...????????
Al?: well we got a full chicken
?: Yeah but. we can take this to jamaica. so. we don't have anything in jamaica set up.
?: yeah, well we're gonna..
?: are we allowed to (tag, tech, tan, take, tape, ?) contraband in this?
L: yes. of course. that's what it's about.
everyone all at once: blariohgidihsfpsoijenklsjdafsd soft point? i really listened to this bit literally 25 times. i got nothin.
L: so here we are. leaving peru. joint lit. happy days. whatcha think zayn? about that kind of content?
?: we've got better....blarghity blargh
Z: i don't think it's very controversial
Everyone: blarghity blargh
L: OH my god. that's the police. that's the po po.
Z: driver looks a bit like (sue, soup, stu, suit, suits, ?)
L: trying to blow into the camera
Z: *singing* baby look what you've done to me
Z: *singing* baby look what you've done...nah
L: that's just zayn warmin up there before the show.
Z: *singing* random notes
L: zayn takes his job very seriously. he made sure. he goes through a 2 hour intense warm up regime before every show. just to get himself in the zone.
Z: still singing random silly notes and noises
L: one very very important factor to zayn's warm up, of course, is mary jane. herself.
Z: singing a song i don't know
L: which i will present him now. this is fantastic singing.
Z: *singing* Mary J. Blige
Z: *making a (contented/approving) face while smoking
?: ppl talking about navigation/directions ithink. i caught a 'next exit' i'm pretty sure.
L: thats the po po. One - Nil. (as motorcycle cop rides by their van)
L: get a bit of the culture in. (i took this sarcastically as they're literally watching the city go by through van windows whilst moving)
L: hows that kind of culture? (pointing camera at the joint)
Z: great culture. its gonna be even better culture when we get to jamaica.
?: we've got chicken in chile
L: CHICKEN IN CHILE. bew bew bew bewbewbew bew bew bew bewbewbew
L: that's the po po (hearing sirens) two - nil
?: J - A - R - A - M - I - L - L - O
Z: (kind of rapping?) I know you like (dick, dat, dis, dicks) BEEPED OUT
L: OooOOooh (kind of like a creepy old man?)
L: (hey, harry, narry, ?) brah. im chillin (impersonating zayn?) oh my god bro. my heads wrecked. (swooping camera in a dizzy way)
Z: looks around in a kind of robotic way?
?: why are you fucking smoking cigarettes motherfucker
?: its supposed to be green only BEEPED OUT
L: ITS GREEN ONLY... Nick (some people hear NIG. i don't. )
L: i'm just wondering now...
Z: its beautiful damn peru
L: i'm sat here in peru wondering will this come back to me (pans camera to point at joint zayn is holding) who knows. maybe. maybe not.
L: (sees police motorcycle ride by) he's having a look he's thinking i'm SURE i can smell an illegal substance in there. and he's hit the nail on the head.
Z: then he showed me Kid Rock's last book
Z: and his book its about twice the size. hard back. black. simple writing. the whole thing just filled with sick pictures. and there's a caption from like each place. no bullshit (beeped out)
Z: no like 'my favorite color's blue' (in a puppety voice?) 'my favorite (tea, team, pee, ?) is red' (again with the weird voice mocking the stupidity of the 'fun facts') 'if i was invisible for a day I would switch people's bones' ya know. none of that. and then just literally just all sick pictures and it looks bad (the good kind of bad) and he's basically putting the picture on the front of next year's book....
L: nice. oh sick. (interrupting zayn so i couldn't get the rest of his sentence about kid rock's book.) sick. you heard it here first then.
Z: you did (pointing finger guns at louis)
L: *gets joint passed from front of the van* Oh Stubbsy! (i couldn't make this shit up.)
Z: and every time you look in it you just think BEEP i've never even seen that picture and that's a that's a bad photo (again... i think he's using bad for good here) full of sick BEEP instead of boring crap.
L: yeah i know. same old BEEP. that i'm SURE the fans are bored of reading.
Z: they wanna know what we're up to NOW man. we're not into pink books man.
Z: Kid Rock's smokin a J in one of the pictures, right
Z: and he's got gold (cough, cough from someone up front) on his middle finger which is a bit weird, but, aside from that, he's stickin his middle finger up with a J in his mouth and that's one of the pictures in the book
L: *arriving wherever they're arriving* here we BEEEP go
Z: check the guy out with the chair *pointing outside the van*
