I am on the brink of relapsing on my ED and SH like its going to be one or the other. So now basically I have to choose between one or the other


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I am on the brink of relapsing on my ED and SH like its going to be one or the other. So now basically I have to choose between one or the other

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β πππ ππ0 πππ πππππ! β
Jan 1st
Total cals - 490
uhhh how to dissociate "sklnny" from my transman identity? anyone got a tutorial? no? guess i'll keep stβ’rvlng
What i had today in the phych ward:
- Breakfast: 2 Coffee's, 1 banana ensure plus
- Lunch: 1 sausage, onion
- Dinner: 2 banana ensure plus
- Supper: chease sandwich
Total: 1654cals

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
Dec 26th
I had about 1500c today, itβs difficult to r3str1ct again after getting so many sweet treats for Xmas so I need to figure out how to get rid of those without it looking too suspicious and I DESPERATELY need to find some motivation to continue that isnβt just my crippling self loathing
But I think I may try and stop drinking alcohol because itβs a good way to save on some c@ls without it looking a bit random because everyone else is doing it too for dry january
Being a trans nb demiboy with an 3d is just this:
Me: *takes birth control so I can try sex because getting pregnant would be bad for me and the dysphoria would kill me before the baby would*
Me: *reads that birth control will heighten estrogen levels, lower testosterone levels, and make me fatter*
Me: *looks up how to get the pill to not do that, because those 3 things will make me commit violent thing*
Website: do not get stressed. It raises estrogen.
Me: *gets more stressed because I know I won't be able to stop myself from getting stressed*
Website: also you should lose as much weight as possibleπ your fat contains estrogen
Me:π
Website:π
Me:βΉοΈ *dysphoria and body image issues increases by 100%*
Website, holding a gun to me: oh and it'll lower your sex drive so you might not even want to do the thing that we're supposed to help you with