#tranceformance

quite a ways behind on updating my tumblr.  much afoot. ♥  for now, here is a long impression of a very dynamic ritual healing that I attended monday evening, that I published to my facebook on tuesday morning.

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still don't have thorough words for yesterday evening's ritual yet. I've journaled, but that's more personal / symbolic / visionary. I definitely owe Kat a well-crafted testimonial suited for her website when I get my human language sorted out and can write something that’s less about me and more about the whole of her work. FOR NOW: loves, you know me [or, I'm assuming you know me – you should know me!] I am a very private witch and am quiet / intuitive / protective in my practice. joining with others in any traditional format usually feels like posturing for me, even when the space is created with good intentions from all. I have had beautiful sincere experiences with close ones [mostly lovers, that kind of relationship lends itself] through eye-gazing, conscious sex, and intuitive spontaneous energy work. otherwise, people publicly ask me about my practice, and I smile shyly with a twinkly eye and give few answers, I gently excuse myself from most group ritual spaces, and am reserved and hold my own space on the rare occasions when I do join. as far as seeking out dynamic magick-workers for healing and actualization goes... I don't.

I met Kat at a party last summer and was instantly struck by her presence. she is very present and grounded in her body, something that is rare – I respect it and I notice it. the conversations at that party ran the gamut but I particularly appreciated her insights into the wisdom of the body / wisdom of the bones and healing the whole self through the body, which has been my practice. we also spoke some about intuitive dance and butoh I believe, and maybe my fledgling experiments in vocal work. we talked about ritual performance. she expressed that some years ago she had been called to do shamanic healing, and spoke briefly about what stepping into that and opening up to that was like [not easy [understatement]]. the techniques we touched upon made a lot of sense in my worldview and the descent/ascent / self-creation / stepping-into-power of her own story resonated with me and mine. I had her business card and have since followed her on facebook, her posts popping up now and again. I started hearing about TranceFormance events she was holding in the bay area and LA, and was intrigued. in her own words:

“This is not your typical 'healing circle' or channeling. Laughingly, Kat sometimes calls it: 'AKA, The Crazy Witch Show'. Kat really goes there and she takes you with her. Expect to be shaken up and shifted. Working with top sound healers and musicians these events are experiences that stick with you and continue to bring healing and transformation long after the initial experience. She sees that the lines are blurred between healer, Shaman, facilitator, artist and participant.”

given my gravitation toward ritual performance and as someone who practices body magick and energy work, and the impression Kat made on me when I met her last year, this strongly appealed to me. and under all was a strong undercurrent of the intuition that Kat was doing something truly, deeply sincere here, which in my experience is very, very rare, even among those with very good intentions. again, I don’t seek out healers or group rituals. ever. but this called. strongly. she scheduled an event in Portland. I signed up.

Kat is the Real. Fucking. Deal.

with audacious fullness of purpose, she stretches and expands the boundaries of voice, body, convention and expectation, all in the intention of reaching raw truth and wholeness. she is absolutely authentic and tapped into her purpose. “The Crazy Witch Show” is not a misnomer, and the powerful thing about it is that it is conducted with sincerity and clarity, without posturing or sensationalism. all dynamic energy is cultivated organically and truthfully. it IS in part ritual theater but as I know and as you probably know if you’ve listen to me obsess over it, a performer/audience relationship does not preclude sincerity of energy. there is comprehensible wisdom encoded in the symbols, actions, and objects used. the ritual space stretches for several hours, and within it Kat facilitates group energy work, creates an environment for self-healing and mutual healing through sound and movement [it is a fully participatory space], and turns personalized intuitive focus on each participant given their unique energetic needs. the entire experience is an energetic conversation between Kat and the participants, the participants amongst each other, the participants with their authentic selves and with higher/broader energetic themes and webs and guides and sources. modern shamanism can be tricky territory from a cultural appropriation standpoint – Kat is integral in her work and does not fetishize or cherry-pick religious practices that do not belong to her. rather, she is using ecstatic energetic methods used globally, channeled through her own wisdom and system. Kat utilizes sacred objects, music [drums, flutes, bells – she had an accompanist yesterday evening], speaking in tongues, speaking english including the occasional well-placed curse word, chanting/intoning, singing gorgeously, burning herbs, [non-psychedelic] spagyrics and essences and tinctures, dance, and physical contact/hands on healing depending on the participants’ comfort / willingness to go there. even beyond my own healing, it was poignant to hold and cultivate space for the healing of others in a way that was dynamic and engaged as opposed to accepting/waiting. the sense of being out of step and witnessing posturing that I usually have when in a group ritual environment was absolutely absent here – we were all connected for a common purpose and in support of ourselves and each other.

without going into extensive personal detail, the medicine that I received personally was what made sense for that time and space. a strong emphasis on play. everyone’s medicine looked very different. I’m carrying energetic and physical signs of impact today. I have a pale bruise forming in the center of my chest which feels really right to me, and I suspect I have one on my pubic bone too [bruises make sense to me, generally. also, that was my comfort level, and my medicine – if being struck is not something that is medicine to you, it won’t happen, so I don’t want to scare you away by the thought that you’ll go to this ritual and get beat up! there were those who were little more than gently brushed by tender song and air.] I sang, a lot. I received a few verbal/english straight to gut messages that were key. lots of play. lots of play. play seemed to be the most natural way for me to engage with Kat which makes a lot of sense in the context of the ways in which I have been working on constructively publically stepping into my power.

and beyond my own healing, it was incredibly constructive to me just witnessing Kat in her element. she is an authentic, intuitive woman walking boldly in the world with her truth. I know snippets of her story, you can find as much on her website, but I get the sense that she is a woman with vast territories of large, powerful, and in some[many?] ways frightening/overwhelming energy within her, who has learned how to step into that and through that and walk in that power through her life in an integrated way. I relate.