#tragiclike

Raven locks shifted as Bella gave a shrug, "I mean, I don't know if you'll be able to be successful or anything, but in my experience the pain of not knowing has been worse than the failures I've had." Granted she hasn't been in his exact situation entirely, be she felt as if she felt the way that he talked it would be enough to do the convincing. "Well, have you told her that your interested?" A smile pulled at her lips that hinted she wasn't entirely sober, but she was becoming invested and didn't have it in her to change her stance now. "Because if not, how do you know she's not thinking the same thing?"

To say the femme was surprised by his comment would be to put it mildly. Aditi, as someone who never really learned how to hide her emotions all too well, felt her eyes grow wide as if to solidify the other's well educated guess. "What do you mean? Why would you think something is bothering me?" she asked, even if she was stumbling clumsily through the words.

okay – so like– teddy is kind of a bit of a neat freak. keep his personal life messy and his home clean. but he doesn't ever let anyone in his house, so it's not like he can judge. he's just as likely to have his fridge completely empty, to have nothing but coffee grounds and cigarettes. "now, i'm like pretty sure –" he laughs "– i said i had i had uber eats and a dream if necessary." he resists the urge to clean up, this isn't his house and he doesn't do caring. or generalized helpfulness anymore. "you find 'em," a beat, "i'll just sit here looking pretty."

"Thanks, I guess." He gave a small smile in the stranger's direction, running a hand over his hair as he looked out over the town, inhaling deeply through his nose. The other man was right though, the silence and the peace that he found up here was comforting, knowing that he could just exist without anything having to occupy his mind beside whatever felt right in that moment. "What brings you up here then? I don't really tend to see anyone else when I'm here."

they didn’t even know what city they were in anymore. katrina had knocked out early, curled in a hoodie with her headphones in. the others had vanished to bars or beds or whoever’s company they felt like chasing that night. frankie had peeled off her makeup with cheap wipes and stared at her reflection in the hotel mirror until her face didn’t feel like hers. their body still thrummed from the show, a kind of phantom energy that never quite faded — adrenaline long gone but something deeper still humming, like a low frequency they couldn’t shake. she hated this part sometimes. the in-between. when the crowd was gone and the noise cut out and she was left with just herself in some shitty room that smelled like industrial cleaner, trying not to scroll through things that would only make her feel worse. they hadn’t meant to call him. it wasn’t a plan. there were a dozen other things she could’ve done — called lena, listened to a demo, chain-smoked on the balcony, maybe just swallowed a sleeping pill and willed herself unconscious. but instead, their thumb hovered over his name for way too long. she was tired, yeah, but not in the way sleep could fix. there was something hollow under their ribs, carved out and aching in that slow, quiet way they’d gotten used to pretending wasn’t real. it’d been days since they last talked — longer, maybe. not because of a fight. just life. miles. shows. schedules. and space, always space. but she felt it now more than ever, sitting alone in a hotel bed that didn’t feel like hers, in a body that barely felt like home. when he picked up, they almost didn’t say anything. just held the phone to their ear and let the sound of him — groggy, curious, not annoyed — settle over them like a blanket pulled up too late in the night. she let the silence stretch a second longer than she meant to. “…yeah, i know it’s late,” she said finally, her voice rougher than expected. “you can roll your eyes at me, i won’t see it.” they lay back against the pillows, the unfamiliar texture of them making them feel weirdly more awake. the tv was on mute in the corner. she didn’t even remember turning it on. “i didn’t really mean to call, i just… i don’t know. it’s quiet here. and not in a peaceful way, just empty. like the kind of quiet that makes you start thinking about shit you were trying not to think about.” their fingers curled into the blanket, nails scraping absentmindedly. “tour’s fine. i mean, it’s loud and fast and we’re all half-delirious and wired off energy drinks. same as always. but sometimes it’s like... when it all stops? when the noise cuts out after the set, and i’m not screaming anymore, and i’m not moving… i don’t know where to put myself.” a pause. not for effect, but just because it was hard to say the next part. “i think i just wanted to hear your voice. that’s all.” she swallowed. god, they hated how soft they sounded. hated that it felt like a confession. but she didn’t take it back. “you don’t have to say anything special. you don’t even have to be awake for long. i just… missed you. and i didn’t know where else to put that feeling tonight.” their eyes stung. she wasn’t going to cry. she wasn’t. “can you just talk?” they asked, a little quieter now. “anything. i don’t care. just let me stay here a while.” she closed her eyes. let herself pretend for a moment that they weren’t miles apart. that maybe he missed them too.