#tr!philza

As for the meta side of things, this sorta rewires his perception of the world at large when he inevitably ends up in these new worlds. There are some people from those past worlds that he knows, but they aren't the exact same versions. It's somewhat the same with them; they seem to remember Phil, but which one they remember is up for the toss every time. And frankly I think that would mess him up a little now that he knows its fully real and these concepts are less muddied to him. They remember him, but they don't remember him. He remembers them, but he doesn't remember them. Their memories can never fully align; they're always just passing each other like ships in the night.

I love to play around with the idea that there was another server (using the word "server" as an actual in-universe term for another timeline here since it's fun) between the end of QSMP and the start of The Realm. One where, now with this knowledge in the back of his mind, he can't find himself being really all that able to make meaningful connections with the familiar people that he meets. Because even the people he has never once met, he seems to somehow know. He doesn't know why he knows people that he doesn't even recall meeting, but he does.

And he knows some of them too personally. The other versions of them, anyway. There's no way to look at these new ones without eventually perverting his perception of them. They can never be the ones he knew. They can never live up to those expectations.

Maybe the walls do begin to crack, but by the time they're feasibly down enough for him to get close to even just one person, it all falls apart. People start to die out again. They vanish without a trace. It always happens, one way or another until he's one of, if not the last one left.

And YET. His complete lack of action paired with in-universe implications that other servers are inseverable from the realm's canon paints- to me, anyways; the most compelling narrative picture for this fucking guy.

Like... Let's fuck around here in this hypothetical for a second.

How many timelines has this version of Phil witnessed by this point? how many stories has he played a character in by now to be so completely aware of, and apathetic to their usual trappings? How many lives did he have to bear before coming to the conclusion that viewing them as inconsequential was the safer option?

I think the thing that interests me most about hc!phil, c!phil, q!phil, whatever!phil as an immortal character is; considering how few other timelines we've seen him visit or speak about, it almost feels- in a way, like he is very new to this whole immortality thing. By the time qsmp rolls around, there is still that very clear detachment between what he considers a dream and what he considers reality despite this seemingly being par for the course? I'll be fr, this part of his character is a little bit vague in its execution so I'm just shooting my shot here for the sake of my own confirmation bias. Who's gonna stop me? God?

Regardless, even when it isn't done intentionally, the juxtaposition between the doting father who would move mountains for his children and the hermit who chops wood and takes absolutely nothing seriously is a contrast that I am drinking up like sweet nectar mmm yum yum yum.

I don't know which mod's idea it was to write the one book directed towards him that claimed they felt that he has- and I quote; "done this all before", but know that I am kissing them on the lips because that permanently altered the way I see his non-existant character.

two bros, chilling in a endtub, one block apart cause they have wives