#totga

the one that got away II

steve harrington x Henderson! reader

warnings: yearning, underage drinking, mentions of sex, smut, hurt/comfort, fighting, cursing, slow burn

a/n: billy the bitch is back😔 ikik dw we'll be rid of him in a few chapters give it time loves

chapter 1

chapter 2

You were helping Dustin get ready for the Snowball, Hawkin’s Middle School dance. By ‘helping’ you meant sitting on his bed and bugging him. Classic big sister stuff. “Oh my God is that the hairspray that that one girl uses? Y’know Nancy uses that.” You raised an eyebrow.

”Shut up, y/n.” Dustin replied, rolling his eyes while he sprayed the hairspray. You coughed. “Holy shit—“ You waved your hand over your face. “You sure that’s enough? Jesus—“ You said sarcastically, coughing. “Please, you’re overreacting,” Dustin said.

You heard the phone ringing, and you stood up to answer it. You open Dustin’s door, breathing in the clean air. You walked over to the phone and answered it. “Hello?” You asked, waiting for a response. “O-Oh hey y/n.” Steve. You two haven’t talked since that night last month, you don’t remember much aside from your sprained ankle, the horrific hangover you had the next day, and Steve holding you a LOT. Like a LOT.

”What are you calling my house for?” You asked. “Uhm… I’m about to leave my house to pick Dustin up to take him to the Snowball. He told me he needed a ride.” Steve replied. “Cool, I’ll tell him you’re on your way.” You went to hang up the phone. “Wait—“ You hung up the phone, not letting him finish.

Steve sighed, running his hands through his hair. Why was is heart beating faster, they barely had a conversation. But God, her voice was angelic. He needs someone to slap this out of him. You clearly still hated him, he’s not sure why he thought anything would be any different. He’s so stupid. He never should’ve hurt you in the first place.

He reached for his jacket— oh wait. You still had it. Right. He grabbed yours instead. He could give it back to you when he picked Dustin up. He grabbed his keys, and walked out of the house.

The phone ringed again. “What the fuck.” You walked back into the kitchen, and picked up the phone. “What?” You snapped. “Woah, sorry, did I call at a bad time?” It was Nancy. You sighed. “No, sorry, you’re good Nance. What is it?”

“Well, I kinda need some help at the Snowball. One of our helpers dropped out last minute, you think you could help? It’s totally okay if you can’t, again, I know it’s short notice.” She asked. “Alright, fine. I’ll do it.” You replied. “Great! Thank you. See you soon.” She replied, then hung up.

You probably didn’t have time to straighten your hair. Oh well. You went into your room, and grabbed a dress from your closet. It was red with beige lace trim, with spaghetti straps and a sweetheart neckline with a beige bow in the middle. It was a little short, but that’s fine. You reached for a cardigan, when you noticed Steve’s jacket in your closet. You still haven’t given it back. You shook your head and grabbed it. You put on some tights and red Mary janes, then put on some makeup.

Just as Steve pulled up. You heard a knock on the door. “DUSTIN!” You yelled and then waited for him to come out of his room. “Why are you in a dress?” He asked. “I’m helping Nancy. Don’t worry, I’ll leave you alone.” You replied.

You opened the door for Steve. “Oh, uhm—“ He was staring. “Let’s go.” You said, walking past him. Steve nodded and followed you, Dustin behind him.

The drive was mostly quiet. When you pulled up, you got out of the backseat, and walked in. You looked around for Nancy, and saw her. “Hey Nance.” You stood beside her. She was looking and you a little weird. “What?” You asked. “Why are you wearing Steve’s jacket?” She asked with a raised eyebrow. Fuck. “Shit— I was going to give it back to him, but I guess I forgot.” You replied. She looked a little scepticle. “What about you and Johnathan huh? You two have been giving each other eyes this whole time I’ve been here.” You said. She was not paying attention, smiling at Johnathan. “What?” She asked. You shook your head with a smile on your face. “Nothing, Nance.” You chuckled.

The dance went on, and guess who walked in with Max. Billy fucking Hargrove. You tensed, watching as he looked around for you. You hoped he wouldn’t regonize you without your hair straightened. But alas, he did because the universe hates you apparently. He walked up to you, and Nancy made eye contact. “Hey y/n.” He said with that stupid charming smirk. You sighed. “What do you want?”

”I’m just here to drop off Max. Didn’t expect you to be here, baby.” He winked. You grabbed a cup of punch and threw it in his face. “Don’t talk to me again.” You snapped. He looked shocked and pissed. “Wh—“ He walked after you. “C’mon baby, I’m sorry! I’ve said that a million times, it was one night!” He yelled as you stormed down the empty hallway. “Fuck off Billy!” You yelled back. He caught up with you and grabbed your wrist. “Listen to me. I suck at words, and actions speak louder than those, right?” He said, then he grabbed your waist and kissed you. You froze for a second, unsure what to do.

Then you pushed him away. “What the hell?! Haven’t I told you, we’re done!” You yelled, wiping your mouth. “Babe, c’mon… I’m sorry.” Billy said, giving you those eyes. “Leave me alone.” You replied, walking towards the exit.

“Where are you going?! Back to that doucebag Steve?! I thought you fucking hated him!” Billy yelled from behind you. You stopped dead in your tracks, looking behind you. “Well at least he had the decency to understand I hated him. And he didn’t kiss me after I told him we’re done twice. At least he pretended to care about me. At least he didn’t just love me for my body.” You replied.

”So what?! You’re gonna run back to him?! Gonna run back into his bed like the whore you are?!” Billy yelled. You froze, choking back tears. You swallowed, wiping the tears away with Steve’s jacket. “Go fuck yourself, Billy.” You muttered, opening the exit door. “Fine!” He yelled back.

The cold air hit you like a truck, giving your nervous system a soft reset. You sighed, sitting on the curb and wrapping the jacket tighter around yourself. You let your tears fall quietly, watching snowfall softly. It fell onto your hair and hands, numbing them a little.

Maybe Billy was right. Maybe you were a whore. But at least whores don’t get cheated on. So you’re worse than a whore. You’re unlovable. An unlovable slut. You couldn’t hold back the sobs anymore. You didn’t want to.

You heard a window roll down. You sniffled and looked up. It was Steve. “Y/n? What are you doing out here?” You just sobbed. “Woah, woah, hey hey… Why don’t you get in the car and we can talk?” You nodded. You stood up, and opened the passenger seat door. You got in and closed the door. He rolled the window back up.

”So… what happened?” He asked, looking genuinely concerned. “I-I just… Billy showed up while I was helping Nancy, a-and I blew up and him—“ You explained what happened all while Steve listened, going from concerned to pissed to ready to kill a man. “He called you what.” Steve said, sounding pissed. “A-A whore.” You replied, wiping away more tears.

”Well, he’s wrong, okay? And he’s fucking stupid. You aren’t a whore. Sure, you’ve fucked a couple guys, but that doesn’t make you any less than anyone else. And if he can’t see that, he needs to get his eyes checked.” You chuckled. “I’m serious. That motherfucker doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I know i regret losing you every single fucking day.” He said with a soft chuckle. “But at least I know when you tell someone to fuck off, you mean it.”

You just stared at him. He’s changed. He’s not the same dumbass doucebag who cheated on you. He was different. A good difference. Your body moved before your brain could register what it was doing. You leaned over, cupping his face and kissing him.

What were you doing? Why were you doing this? But you didn’t hate it. You felt his lips start to move against yours, and he reached for your waist as the kiss deepened. Your heart rate picked up, your cheeks flushing as his tongue traced the seam off your lips. You sighed and opened your mouth. He smirked against your lips, pulling away gently. “I like that noise.” He murmured. Some things never change.

You remove his hands from your waist and you crawl into the backseat. He seems to quickly get the message, because he crawled in right after you. He practically fell into your lips. God, you missed him. Missed him. You moaned as his hands slid under your dress, gently rubbing his thumb over your clit. His lips caught yours. “Shh… we can’t be loud.” He murmured, sliding his jacket off your shoulders. His lips latched onto your neck, kissing and sucking softly. His hands roamed, sliding under your dress then the waistband of your panties, sliding a finger in between your folds. “Fuck… sweetheart, you’re soaking…” He said before he gently pushed two fingers inside you. You bit back a moan, your head falling back against the leather seat. “H-Holy shit…”

He rubbed your clit with the palm of his hand while biting at your shoulder. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” He groaned. You moaned again. “I-I’m almost there…” You sighed. Then he stopped, pulling his fingers out. You whined, suddenly feeling empty. He moved, lowering until his head was in between your thighs, hands holding them apart. You felt him place a kiss on your pussy lips.

“S-Steve—“ You moaned, tangling your hands in his hair. You felt him devour you, his lips latching around your clit as the windows fogged up. His lips moved from your clip to your pussy, making out with it while shoving his tongue inside you. You looked down, noticing how he ground against the leather seats.

Your thighs clenched around his head as you felt your orgasm approaching. He sucked hard on your clit, and you felt your climax crash over you like a tidal wave. You felt Steve lap at your juices like he’d been starved. He slowed down, easing you down from your high.

You were panting, sweaty, hair a mess. You watched as Steve sat up, wiping his mouth. “Holy fuck… you’re so beautiful.” He muttered, looking down at you. You slowly sat up. He wrapped his arms around your waist and gently kissed you. You leaned your head on his shoulder. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

You both managed to crawl back up into the front seat. You put Steve’s jacket back on, zipping it up to cover your hickeys. Steve reached into the glovebox for some napkins. He grabbed him, and cleaned you up. He threw them out the window, and then reached for your hand. Then Dustin came out of the door. You both pulled your hands away.

Dustin opened the door and slid into the backseat. “So, how was the dance?” You asked. “Good.” Dustin replied. The ride back was quiet, the tension (which Dustin was oblivious to) could be cut with a knife.

Steve stopped at the edge of your driveway, while Dustin got out quickly, you stayed in the car. You bit your lip, stealing a glance at Steve. “Y’know… I wouldn't mind if you snuck in through my window a few times.” You said. He nodded, smirking. “Noted.”

You got out of the car, throwing his jacket back at him. His hickeys were all over you. “See you later, pretty boy.” You said with a wink, then walked up the driveway.

His heart was racing as he watched you walk up. He let out a light chuckle. You’ve got him wrapped around your finger and you know it. He knows it.

a totga au au (an au inside an au LOL) where reader goes to the wedding?

eve maybe isnt entirely up-to-date on the full extent of adam’s feelings for reader so she takes it into her own hands to invite them to the wedding! she’s well intentioned, but she has no idea the drama thats about to ensue lol.

you get the sparkly invite and just cringe. Did adam do this to rub it in your face? what the fuck did you do to deserve this?

you figure “fuck it, im gonna show up to this wedding looking hot as hell and piss him off.”. so, on the day of the wedding, you get your hair done, put on a stunning blue dress, and go to the venue.

once inside, your confidence drops. fuckkk this is gonna be a lot harder than you thought. All of adam’s family is here… all of eve’s family is there. so many rich important people are there to celebrate and now your suddenly feeling small.

“this was a bad idea.. I should just go—“ you think to yourself. turning to leave you get a bit lost and end up somewhere near the dressing rooms.

the sound of muffled crying gets louder as you turn the corner. you see a door slightly ajar and through it, adam clad in a tux sobbing into his hands.

Your mind told you to stay put and leave, but your body inches you closer to the room. you push the door open, “Adam?”.

Adams head shoots up, his eyes wide. Slowly, he gets up and with a shakey hand, touches your arm. He pulls you closer, hands moving all around you as if making sure you were real.

Tears flood your eyes and you lean into his embrace, “Adam… how could you do this? I thought you—“. “I know, I know,,” he coos unsteadily, “you thought right. And I still… I’ve always loved you…”

The sound of bells ringing interrupts your moment. It was time for the ceremony. You both pull back, your eyes searching his. Without thinking, Adam takes your hand and rushes you out of the venue discreetly and you two run off, far away from everything.

His parents, his predestined life— he doesnt care.

He at it all, but he had nothing without you.

(also eve is left at the alter but idk in this au she doesnt give a fuck bc uhhh shes bi with a woman preference and is in love with someone else LOL or smth idk)

BITCH (affectionate) I’VE HAD SIMILAR THOUGHTS!! I love the runaway groom idea (only in fiction tho) it’s giving Speak Now by Taylor Swift. OH AND YES READER WOULD FEEL SO OUT OF PLACE AT THE WEDDING, poor thing’s just a simple gardener :< I’d be willing to bet Adam sent that invite as a sort of call for help.

also when you said blue dress I immediately thought of the blue party dress from Anastasia.

Eve being left at the alter is a bummer dgmw but ultimately she’s good 👍🏽 Adam’s got a sister anyway.

The one that comes to my mind most often is that day at graduation where Adam could actually (lightly) push away Eve and his parents and for the first time in his life, ignoring them when they call his name. He doesn’t need it anymore. He needs you. He feels like he’ll die otherwise.

You’re just barely out of the venue when you hear rapid footsteps approaching and you turn around before you’re nearly knocked over by Adam throwing his arms around you. Just moments ago you were so ready to let go, so ready to walk away with a heavy heart… but now all of that has flown out the window and you suddenly feel lighter. Especially when Adam lifts you off the ground and spins you like you’ve always fantasized about.

“I don’t care how far you’re going. Where you go, I go.” he chokes, lightly tightening his hold on you. And so he does, he goes with you.

He wanted to, so he did.

Micheal simultaneously deflates with relief and explodes with elation because fUCKING FINALLY HE’S BEEN WATCHING YOU TWO EYE FUCK EACH OTHER FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS.

I’m SO glad you brought this idea up it’s been swimming around in my head for weeks maybe months

I just visited my hometown for the first time in a couple years and of course I cried, I spent twelve years in that town before I had to leave in the 10th grade (landlord sold the house to their daughter)

Now, picture if you will; totga!reader was in the same situation and moved back to their hometown after college. They’ve been relatively composed up until this point but coming back just breaks them.

Several years ago, they were forced to let go of the place they called home, and now they’re back, but they’ve just had to let go of another thing they loved.

AHHHHHH WHY DO U MAKE MEEE CRYYYY /j

i just imagine them like standing in front of their childhood home and having just a blank face

not happy, not sad, just numb

just another fleeting feeling

all they think is "this is gonna go away again. I don't know when, but its gonna happen. It always does."

Scary.

It's cruel, isn't it? How accurate this could've been. It sounds just like you — the style of typing, the nickname, the message, and that damn color you assigned me.

Then reality hits. I suddenly remember that you couldn't be this thoughtful, this purposeful. Because you're painfully not. As much as I want to believe that you can, you've just never proved it. You have the ideas — the plans, but for some reason.. you never act on them. Was there a reason? Or did you simply just not feel like it? After declaring your love over and over for years, did you grow tired? That when you finally had me, you just didn't have the energy to be sure you kept me? Was that all it took? To have me?

Never has the color yellow made me feel this dull and in pain.

There’s something deeply haunting about the idea of being “the one that got away.” The one who was almost everything, but never quite became it. It’s a feeling that lingers, a memory that fades but never disappears. And when you realize, after all these years, that the love still exists—unchanged, maybe even stronger—it leaves you with an odd sense of closure, mixed with a thousand what-ifs.

Ten years ago, we stood at the crossroads of becoming something real. We loved each other, though I don’t think we fully understood the depth of that love. We were younger, less experienced, trying to make sense of life, love, and everything in between. Timing wasn’t on our side. Circumstances pulled us in different directions, and we became each other’s almost—two people who could have been, but never fully became. Life happened. We moved on, or so we thought.

But here we are, ten years later, and the love never truly went away. It still lives quietly between us, unchanged by the distance, the silence, or the years that passed. It’s strange, isn’t it? To realize that after all this time, we still love each other. That connection we shared, as fleeting as it was, still lingers.

I’ve often thought about how we became each other’s almost. How we were just shy of being everything for each other. For years, I questioned why we couldn’t make it work. Why, despite the love we had, we were always just out of sync. But over time, I’ve come to understand something that has brought me peace: qadr—divine decree.

Our story, no matter how incomplete it feels, was always part of a larger plan. It was written that we would cross paths, love each other, and then go our separate ways. It’s easy to think of fate as something cruel, but qadr reminds me that everything happens for a reason, even the things we don’t understand. We weren’t meant to be together back then, not because we didn’t love each other, but because it wasn’t the right time. There were things we both needed to learn, ways we needed to grow, before we could be ready for something deeper.

Through the years, I’ve held on to sabr—patience. Not in the sense of waiting for us to reunite, but in accepting that some things aren’t meant to happen when we want them to. Sabr has taught me that love doesn’t always follow the timelines we set for it. Sometimes, it grows quietly in the background, waiting for the right moment to reemerge. And when it does, it’s more profound because it has withstood the test of time.

Even now, as we stand here ten years later, acknowledging that the love is still there, we both know that our story is still in the hands of something greater. That’s where tawakkul—trusting in God’s plan—comes in. Tawakkul has taught me to let go of trying to control the outcome. To trust that if we are meant to be, we will find our way back to each other. And if we’re not, then that too is written, and it will be for the best.

The realization that we still love each other after ten years is powerful, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re destined to be together now. Maybe this love was never about a lifelong partnership. Maybe it was about teaching each other lessons we couldn’t have learned on our own. Or maybe, it was simply about showing us that real love never dies; it just changes form.

I’ve come to trust in qadr—to believe that every moment we shared, every part of our story, was exactly as it was meant to be. The love we had wasn’t wasted, even if it didn’t end the way we once hoped. It was part of our journey, a journey that shaped us into who we are today. And now, ten years later, we can appreciate that love with a deeper understanding, knowing that it was always part of a bigger plan.

So here we are, two people who loved each other deeply but were kept apart by time, life, and fate. And after all these years, we realize that love never left us. It survived in the quiet spaces of our hearts, waiting to be acknowledged again.

But with tawakkul, I trust that whatever is written for us will happen in its own time, and if it’s not meant to be, then there is wisdom in that, too. Because if we were meant for each other, nothing in this world could keep us apart. And if we’re not, then something even more beautiful is waiting for both of us—something we couldn’t have reached had we stayed in our almost.

We still love each other after ten years, but we’ve learned that love is more than holding on—it’s trusting, letting go, and believing in what is written for us. So, whether our paths cross again or we remain as each other’s almost, I know that our story served its purpose. And in that, I find peace.

Also on the same note but an AU with Dr. Strange as a theatre professor and you bond with him over your love of literature and playwriting 🥰

I love this so, sooooooooooooo much and guess what, my brilliant friend...

It's an actual thing!

The One That Got Away

In my early years on tumblr, there used to be a lot of contests by Artists and Writers to promote their blogs. One such that I won was a custom written one-shot. And as what you've described above (me acting in a play by Shakespeare, opposite Benedict) has been a long desired dream, that's what the Author created for me. BC & I performing together in The Taming of the Shrew. Dust to Dust is a fic filled with angst & mutual but unfulfillable longing!😁Please check it out; it's a very quick, wonderful read.

But it gets even better...

I loved this story so much that my mind kept going, I need more...there has to be more to the story. And I began to write. Bits and pieces of Benedict & Virgilia (Vicki) interacting. Pining. Confessing forbidden feelings. A kickass prologue. Until I finally had to broach the topic with the Author--who had felt a pull to continue the story as well

So, she asked for samples of what I'd written, and once satisfied with how I envisioned the story playing out, she gave me her blessing. The One That Got Away is one of my dearest WIPs, and though it's been ages since I've updated, I know exactly how the rest of the story goes (including lots of angst, a forbidden tryst or two, lovers separated by an ocean wide, reconciliation and a happy ending). I even wrote an epilogue already, for a bestie of mine who initially struck up our friendship because she loved the story so much.

Gotta say, it makes me really happy to talk about it, so I must thank you heartily!🥰 I miss those inspired days of writing. So impassioned to get the words on the page that I even wrote one pivitol chapter in a law office where I had to give a deposition about an accident I witnessed at work!

I hope with all my heart that a few new Readers will check it out from seeing this post, and maybe even give it some love. I know many of us refer to something we've written as some of our best stuff--but this is no cliche; I really think it is.

Oh, and your second suggestion...Stephen as a Theatre Professor? Absolutely worth adding to my list of things I'd love to write if I ever get my mojo back for real.

a very excited PS: