Feeling sad and nostalgic and all that. 💔 The nauseating thought that I may never find my canonmates, or if I do that they may not want to stick around, suddenly struck me while listening to the OST again. I've become a different person in this life, incredibly different. There are so many mistakes I made that I can't go back and correct, all I can do is move forward with the wisdom my past has given me. It's bittersweet.
Years ago I was listening to a guided hypnosis track that instructed its listeners to imagine themselves in a room with all the people they'd ever known. When I did, I pictured a room that was entirely grey, from the floor to the ceiling, with the only piece of furniture being a grandfather clock at the other end. There was a sea of people around me but I couldn't parse any details about them, they were just silhouettes, and the only thing in the whole room with enough detail for me to see clearly was that clock. The unrelenting march of time as it stands high above me, and a crowd of people I'm trying so desperately to see in focus but can't, is the perfect depiction of the way I feel now.
Anyway. I'm just being an edgelord lmao. Don't mind me. - 💜🥧☁️
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