#torchmlp

OK I had to sit and think on this

(My knowledge of the Saw movies is pretty limited, but I know a few of the traps and the killer's basic premise behind setting them.)

Laura survives. She has to fix her own eye after it gets slashed by Maxwolf, with like... a roll of bandages and half a bottle of unspecified drugs. Nothing phases her (at least, not enough to stop her).

Ryan, I'm also gonna say guaranteed survival. He faces multiple Saw-trap-ish choices in game; cut off Dylan's hand, accept the bite of a werewolf or die, shoot your not-dad or die... sure, he can choose not to do all of those things (and die) but I believe in him.

Kaitlyn? Kaitlyn??? She's not just surviving the trap, she's killing Jigsaw, everyone else go home. Sure she doesn't come as close to Saw-trap-esque scenarios in game as the rest of the Final Four, but... Kaitlyn.

DYLAN? Mr. "Ryan cut Nick's leg off before the infection spreads"? Mr. "RYAN CUT MY HAND OFF CUT MY HAND OFF NOW"? He was born to survive a Saw trap, I am more confident in him than I am anyone.

Emma survives, thrives, and joins Kaitlyn in beating up Jigsaw... as long as she's got her brain turned on and realizes immediately that she's in a Saw trap. Otherwise, she might make one of those "Goodbye cruel world, the final curtain is calling," open a werewolf-hiding trapdoor in your underwear type mistakes. But if her brain's turned on she's a BEAST, JIGSAW IS SCREWED.

Jacob would... tryyyyyyyy? He would try so hard. If it was one of the easier, straightforward ones, like "cut off this body part if you want to live," he's got a decent chance. If it's one that requires more strategy, or luck... he would try so hard.

Abi and Nick I will answer together because I think they have very similar survival instincts. Left alone, they'll defend themselves, sure, and they'd probably both end up with the opposite outcome to Jacob- if it's one you have to think out, not one that just demands "cut off your arm!" then they'd both be fine. The luck-based ones... they'd also have trouble with those.

I'm sorry to say it but I think Laura's gonna end up a complete Joel, except instead of losing a kid on Day One she's losing Max. Sorry, Max.

Abi's dying immediately. Ran into a street she shouldn't have and got hit with flying debris. Dead.

Nick's also dying immediately. He probably gets shot by a soldier because that's the kind of luck he has.

Jacob's one of the first zombies. Like he eats the bread and turns before there's even evacuations going on. He probably turns into a bloater.

Oh this is exciting OK!!!!

Ryan vs. Evil Ryan- I feel like Evil Ryan would get an early advantage because Ryan would be like "Obviously evil clones don't exist. This is a coincidental doppelganger with no reason to hurt me." However Ryan is pretty tough, so once Evil Ryan gets the first blow in Ryan would be able to get away and reevaluate. So Ryan would be injured but have a major homefield advantage- I think Ryan vs. Evil Ryan is a toss-up, could go either way.

Laura vs. Evil Laura- I feel like with how trigger-happy regular Laura is, Evil Laura would be even more quick to shoot. I think this one would go to Evil Laura unless Laura was really good at dodging.

Kaitlyn vs. Evil Kaitlyn- Similar to Laura, I think Evil Kaitlyn would have all of Kaitlyn's skills and none of her trigger discipline. Now Kaitlyn is pretty quick on her feet, so she'd have a slightly better chance than Laura, but I still think this one would go to the evil clone.

Dylan vs. Evil Dylan- The main advantage that Dylan would have over Evil Dylan is that Dylan knows where Mr. H keeps the power tools. Evil Dylan kicks down the door of the radio hut and Dylan comes at him with the chainsaw; Dylan wins.

Emma vs. Evil Emma- By god, the potential carnage of this duo. We should be grateful they're fighting each other. Emma's got the taser and bear spray- if she uses the bear spray she can blind Evil Emma long enough for a killing blow. If she uses the taser and runs for the zipline, Evil Emma will cut it without hesitation. 50/50 toss-up.

Jacob vs. Evil Jacob- Evil Jacob grabs a baseball bat and chases Jacob into the woods. Jacob trips and falls face first in a beartrap. :(

Abi vs. Evil Abi- Evil Abi's first move is to draw a gruesome murder scene with Abi's head cut off and leaves it out for her to find; Abi freaks out & runs into the woods to find a cute baby animal to pet to comfort herself, but the baby animal is a baby wild pig and the mom kills Abi before Evil Abi gets a chance to.

Nick vs. Slimy Evil Nick- Unlike everyone else, Nick and Evil Nick are genuinely two completely different people. Nick is dead before he can yell in Australian. :(

LET ME AT HER, LET ME AT HER-

Ahem. Sorry, I'll go in my normal order.

This is assuming that all of them have a reason to try and kill me (which I would normally avoid).

Laura: I'm dead.

Ryan: I'm dead. Probably not even on purpose, he'll shoot me through some bushes.

Kaitlyn: I'm so dead unless I can put the gun on a high enough shelf.

Dylan: Probably helped Kaitlyn kill me. And also could kill me.

Emma: I'm so fucking dead.

Jacob: ... y'know what, I think I could outsmart him. He may have the size advantage and the fitness advantage, but I could definitely lead him into a beartrap.

Nick: Hmmmm. He's such a gentle soul. I think if he really gave it his all he could kill me, but he'd be hesitant enough for me to get away.

Max: On the one hand, I have the size advantage. On the other, he has the fitness advantage. I'm gonna call this another toss-up, like Nick- Max's luck might just be bad enough for me to win.

Now.

Abigail Blyg.

I wouldn't even have to try to kill her, she'd get herself killed in 10 seconds petting a wild animal or wandering off into the woods at midnight, but forget that. I want the honor.

Artwork by @torchmlp for Motel Sprites!