I woke up from an intensely interesting dream very uncomfortable because at the end my mom said in front of one of the male characters that she and dad really liked him and it was time for me to settle down. Needless to say, this whole thing has happened before. Of course not the dream and not necessarily in front of a guy but my mom has told me more than once that I need a significant other. I still haven't told them my orientation because I'm too afraid they will be even more disappointed in me. I just get frustrated and short with my mom because she keeps trying to find men for me to date. I told her before that right now I'd like to be able to support myself completely financially rather than look for someone to do it for me because she told me to find a guy to support me. Not to say I wouldn't like to have a significant other, I would just like to have one on my own accord rather than my mother trying to match make with men from her area for me. There's been many times were I got so frustrated that I almost told her over the phone or in the car that I like girls. But like I said, I'm more afraid of her and my father not ever talking to me again and abandoning me so that talk will have to be later. The only family members who know is my sister, my brother in law, and one of my cousins other than that I'm pretty much that cousin who has never had a boyfriend and gets picked on by my aunts and uncles about my lack of relationships. Of course unbeknownst to them I had been in a five year relationship with my first girlfriend and have had several female and a couple hetero dates etc. Even my own sister tells me she does know how to do the "whole gay thing". Like I've suddenly changed from who I've always been and my beliefs because I prefer women. I don't know, I've been just struggling a lot lately. Hopefully I don't have another one of these dreams. Anyway, may everyone have a wonderful day!
