#tony sharp

Summary: This is a piece I made for Wolfy over on the Invincible III server as part of the server's oc art trade! Here we follow her oc Tony, as he reflects on his career and the wolf in his head.

Warnings: alcohol, guns, light body horror

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Tony placed his empty glass on the bar, gesturing to the bartender for a refill. He glanced at his hand, eyes furrowing as he examined his fingernails. They were long, curled, pointed like a knife's edge. The sound he made was a cross between a sigh and a chuckle. Guess the old adage about knowing something like the back of your hand wasn't always true. He focused hard, watching his claws retract back into dull nails.

He drummed them on the bar as he took a swig of his newly replenished whiskey. Life ain't easy living with a wolf in your head, not that his life would be any easier if he didn't have to worry about keeping it from clawing its way out. Every day he found himself chasing down case after case like a dog chasing its own tail, ever falling deeper into a pit of crime, conspiracy, and gambling debt. He always seemed to sniff out trouble - and he just caught the scent.

I've been dreading the day that Tony and I would talk about college and today was that day and it was worse than i would have ever expected.  Not only because he wants to break up with me before he leaves but because I didn't tell him that I didn't want to.  I want him to be happy.  So basically it started off as the best day ever where we went to the wildlands conservancy and walked around in nature holding hands in the sunshine it was so perfect!! (almost as perfect as tony)).  Then we sat down in front of Shaf's Pond and I said "wow i wish it was this nice out forever" and then he said "speaking of forever" I really thought he would say that he wanted to stay with me forever and we wouldn't break up for college unless we needed to.  But no.  Of course not.  Why can't I ever have a fairy tale with my prince? He wants to break up before college because of a few things.  Well first we would both be miserable.  I'm calling complete bullshit on this.  If we didn't break up I'd be sad bc I missed him, But now when we break up I'm literally going to be a mess and never leave my room or do anything.  So maybe he doesn't like me as much as I like him? Maybe he won't care that we broke up and continue living out our everyday lives.  The next was that I couldn't drive.  Ok all we've been saying was how I'll be able to drive in January so we just have to  make it until then.  Then he pulls this shit? Bullshit.  The last was that I would be going to college in two years and that would make us even further apart, unless I went to Princeton then we could try again.  OK WHAT IF I WENT TO WESTMINSTER? WHAT IF I WENT TO LCCC? THEY ARE CLOSE.  What's going to happen when he comes home now? Will it be weird if I hug him and don't let go? What if I accidentally kiss him and then he goes "Nick I have a boyfriend" What if he doesn't want to be friends? What if he wants to keep going where we left off? What if he doesn't? What if it's really awkward? What will his family think? What if they hate me? What if they never even talk about me ever again and think Tony made the right decision? I don't know I'm just really upset.  I shouldn't be.  I should be happy.  i have four months left with him.  But what if you said "we can date but only for four months because then I'm going to break up with you"? Would you date them? no! why am i wasting all of this time with the guy I love? What if I say I love you and he doesn't say it back? What if he does and then we stay together.  What if I say it and then he feels bad and stays with me but the entire time is just afraid of what will happen if we break up? I just want to be with Tony forever.  I don't want to know if Tony ever dates again because I wouldn't be able to.  Why am I thinking about this? I need to be happy

happy?

how do i act happy? I'm never really happy.  I'm happy when I'm with Tony.  What if I'm never happy again? What if I wind up killing myself and then he feels bad? Would he know it was bc I was unhappy? There's definitely something wrong with me because I'm actually considering ending my life over a boy.  I just love him.  I love his smell.  I love his body.  I love his face.  I love the way his eyes crease up when he looks at me. I like the way his face looks when our faces are pressed up right against each other's.  I like the way he wears his pants a little too low.  I like the way he can say whatever he's thinking.  I like the way his hair line is far back on one side but not the other.  I like the way he walks.  I like the way he says my name.  I like the way he hugs me.  I like the way he kisses me.  I like how generous he is.  I like everything about him.  No.  I love everything about him

That was hard to write because i kept writing love.  I do love him.  I do.  What if he never finishes TFIOS? Will he not see the note? Has he already seen it? Will he ever realize that he loves me too? Will he ever realize that he's making a mistake walking away from me? Will I have to change his name in my phone? Why do I do this to myself?