#tony lofi

Best gift you ever got?

Tony LoFi of One Chord Progression/The Recordettes/Cudzoo and the Faggettes - The gift of life...and Anna's boobs.

Anna of One Chord Progression/The Recordettes/Party Lights - One Chord Progression's Xmas Bandcamp compilation.

Cudzoo & The Faggettes - Plan B and bacon. From your Dad.

Kim Fowley - My next girlfriend.

Jenny Dee & The Dee-Linquents - My daughter is the best gift ever - she trumps everything!

Russell Quan of The Mummies - Hot Wheels Supercharger Sprint set.

Bradley of Bradley Dean & The Terminals - A guitar.

Michael of Bradley Dean & The Terminals/Quitty & The Donts - my first 4 track.

Micheal Chandler of The Lost Crusaders - I have to admit that it was, sadly, probably money.

George Tabb - Last year, on my birthday, on December 10, which is close enough to Christmas or Hanukkah, I asked my girlfriend, Elena, to marry me. She said yes. Best gift, ever! Or was it the Xbox360?

Warren of The Abigails - Best gift, shit...a friend's mom got me tickets to see Neil Young like ten years ago. That was pretty awesome. Too bad the show sucked. My girlfriend always gets me cool stuff. I'd imagine Christmas will be no exception as long as I dont blow it.

Palmyra Delran of the Palmyra Delran band/The Friggs - Strange Change Machine.

Evan from Muck & The Mires - Cookie Puss.

King Salami & The Cumberland III - Tonka Toy truck - those things were massive, literally.

Bill Florio of Little Seizures - A status change of Rent Control to Rent Stabilized.

Alex White of White Mystery - Chanel No. 5 Eau de Parfum from Wild Mid Wes.

JB of The Living Kills - This box of creepy teddybear ornaments from my friend Anna. They just kind of hang out on my bookshelf, still trapped in the plastic box they came in. 

Mr. Lee from Dead Flowers Productions -  Kisses under the mistletoe...Har har har.

Greg Cartwright of Reigning Sound - A guitar.

Dave Smilow of The Recordettes/Party Lights/Sin Destroyers - Animal print bikini briefs, men's stockings.

Dean Rispler of Drug Front Records - For some bizarre reason, I was obsessed with war movies as a kid. The Guns of Navarone and, the 70s updated version, Force 10 From Navarone, were my favorites. Though I couldn't tell you what was going on at all. I just loved those titles and they just stuck with me. This all being said, my parents bought me the Force 10 From Navarone play set. It was a big plastic mountain with army guys and tons of artillery and killing machines. I loved it. I think it was 1977 or '78.

George M. Jackson of Naked Heroes -The Naked Heroes guitar strap I use.

Bobby of The Hussy - N64 when I was a kid, DUH!

Heather of The Hussy - A guitar when I was in 6th grade. Also: a Chia Pet.

Peter of Jukebox Zeros - Fisher-Price Sky Talker Walkie Talkies. I just remember me and my brother being so stoked about getting these on Xmas morning, haha!

Stephane Plante of Kid Sentiment - Plastic Bertrand LP at the age of 5.

Joe Belock of Three Chord Monte (WFMU) - When I was 10 or so, a copy of the most bootlegged/pirated LP of all time, Introducing the Beatles with the $1.99 price tag from Two Guys left on it!

Dwight Weeks of Bamboo Kids - The eternal salvation Jesus' bitchin' suicide will allow me to enjoy.

Jim Chandler of Twin Guns -  A coyote tooth that I had made into an earring.

Andrea Sicco of Twin Guns -  Money, cash...and a mixed-basket with assorted sweets, wine bottles and champagne.

Rebecca from Get Bent - One of my best friends bought me a first edition hardcover of Dune with the original dust jacket. Not mint condition, but it's fucking beautiful.

Al Huckabee of 1-800-Band -  A rented drum...I mean even though it was rented it was a drum, you know?

Jimmi Quinn of Light Bulb Alley - One year we didn't give gifts, just ate lots of food and watched movies, danced and skidood.

Clermont Ferrand of Les Sans-Culottes - The Complete Asterix. While some swear by Sun Tzu's "Art of War," I like to consult the Indomitable Gaul for life strategies.

Chris DiPinto of Creem Circus - A purple Toyoko mini bike with a white racing stripe in 1980. Somehow I did not kill myself!

Fred Shankar of Sultan Bathery -  Handmade Egyptian painting.

Gio of Sultan Bathery - Spanish tour with my band and friends.

Teo of Sultan Bathery - Drums.

Devon Dunsmoor of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - Mansi (my C16 Acoustic/ Electric Martin Guitar), Black Frye boots & my record player! Vinyl hypes me up!

Laura Carlucci of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - A brand new Green Ford Focus John bought me.

John Carlucci of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - Kindle Fire Laura bought me last year. Pelham Blue T Bird Bass I bought myself this year!

Kenny Wessel of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - One year I got that mean evil black cat nobody wanted. It seemed to like me though! Why is that??

Rikki Styxx of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - For me, Xmas is about living the fantasy as a kid. I lived in Colorado growing up and my parents did not have much money, but one Xmas we got sleds! The saucer type! And it was a white Xmas! We went sledding till we got frostbite that year!

Seb Paquin of Buddy McNeil & The Magic Mirrors -  A good shizzel.

Izi Laterreur of Buddy McNeil & The Magic Mirrors -  A The Budos Band show at Pop Montreal 2010. FUCKIN' COBRA MAN.

Alexis Roberge of Buddy McNeil & The Magic Mirrors -  I got a nice shirt once...oh, and the gift of life.

Eric Davidson of Livids/New Bomb Turks - Actually, that fruitcake tasted pretty good. But I'll say the stuffed animal "Rocky the Racoon" I got when I was, um, 23. No wait, 6. Or the first printing of Lester Bangs' Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung.

Maxime Chiasson of Ponctuation - AM/FM/cassette alarm clock, it woke me up for 20 years!

Jim Diamond - A big summer sausage in 1996.

Betsy of Sugar Stems -  My dad got me an 8-track digital recorder for Christmas one year. I used it to record demos of all the songs I wrote for the first record a long time ago!

Drew of Sugar Stems -  A blue Fender Stratocaster when I was in 8th grade. I still have the picture of it hanging up at my house because it meant that much to me.

Steph of Sugar Stems -  In the 7th grade, I got my first CD player with my first CD, Dion and the Belmonts: Live at Madison Square Garden.

Jon of Sugar Stems - Betsy got me a Pork Pie drum stool last year, its the most comfortable seat ever.

Michael Lynch of Michael Lynch Band/The Brimstones/Palmyra Delran Band - One Christmas years back my mother bought me a very comfy bed rest pillow, which can get me dozing off in minutes. The lazy sod in me loves it. Gotta love a mother who not only accepts her son's laziness but buys him gifts to make it more comfortable for him.

Buffi Aguero of Subsonics/Tiger! Tiger! - A life-size, plaster human anatomy model. We named him Sebastian and used him for an archery target.

Clay Reed of Subsonics - An actual, working, coin-operated peep-show machine. When you're in the booth, it's like being a priest and hearing the most horrible and disgusting confessions.

Nicotina of Dear Hearts -  Eh…(silence). Karen of Dear Hearts - Well? Nicotina of Dear Hearts - I’m thinking…(silence)…Chickenpox. Karen of Dear Hearts - What’s good about that? Nicotina of Dear Hearts - You get to stay home and watch a lot of movies and people are nice to you…if they’ve already had chickenpox. Karen of Dear Hearts - Hmm…I wish you would say more nonsensical Yakov Smirnoff type stuff like, “in Italy, gifts get YOU!” Your higher education and non-Soviet origins are ruining my comedy career. Nicotina of Dear Hearts - Who? Karen of Dear Hearts -  Exactly.

Nicotina of Dear Hearts -  I think we should have a TV show.

Brian Hurd of Daddy Long Legs - My first guitar.

Joan Chew of Party Lights - 5 Gold Rings.

Links:

Born Loose: Water in the vodka, cola in the...

Who are you?

Larry Mud May.

Who are you wearing?

My dead buddy Matt's green leather jacket.

How easy is it to steal a candy from a baby?

Too easy. Almost feel guilty. Fuck it.

<a href="http://thecandysnatchers.bandcamp.com/album/down-at-delilahs-cd-and-digital-download" data-mce-href="http://thecandysnatchers.bandcamp.com/album/down-at-delilahs-cd-and-digital-download">Down At Delilah's (CD And Digital Download by The Candy Snatchers</a>

Tell us a secret about Dean Rispler.

It's not a wig.

Best Candy Snatchers story?

Wait for the book. It's been comin' soon for a few years now.

Why is the world so wrong?

World wrong? Turn on tv or radio. Don't though. Grab a case of beer and bottle of Beam instead.

<a href="http://thecandysnatchers.bandcamp.com/track/the-world-is-wrong" data-mce-href="http://thecandysnatchers.bandcamp.com/track/the-world-is-wrong">The World Is Wrong by The Candy Snatchers</a>

What is your message for the kids?

Who are you?

My name is Mark Sultan. I am also known as BBQ, but not BBQ Show, as well as Blortz, Bridge Mixture, Creepy and a million other pointless names. I am a regular on TV's ‘Eight Is Enough’. You may know me from my time in The Spaceshits, Les Sexareenos, BBQ, The Ding-Dongs, Mind Controls, Ciaoculos, Mark Sultan, The Almighty Defenders and The King Khan & BBQ Show. I was, luckily, not featured in any recent ‘Garage Rock’ ‘documentaries’. I love chocolate and pizza. I used to burn down churches, and I participated in the 1997 Olympic Games. I am also a Medium and a Magician.

Who are you wearing?

I am wearing the same shit I have worn for nearly 20 years. I am hobosensual.

What are the chances of a Spaceshits reunion?

Chances of a Spaceshits reunion would be 10% or π, depending on the season. We are all friends who talk, but for two of the absolute original members. And I think we are too old. Sounds fun, though.

Who is your favorite doo-wop artist?

My favourite singer, in general, is Carlis Munroe, at the moment and possibly forever. I dislike Dion.

What is the most annoying thing people say to you about you being a one man band?

Being a one-man band is very unfortunate. If you deviate from monotony/stale, shticky, formulaic crud, you are somehow 'not rock'n'roll'. Being automatically compared to what everyone envisions a ‘one-man band’ to be or to sound like, no matter what you do, is like comparing the Abba to Slayer, cuz both have four members. I dislike that some folks who just think they 'can do it' do it, without repercussion for their misguided confidence. It’s not fun when a promoter slides the payscale low because you are just one person in the band, as though the people you brought in to the show and the time you spent 'entertaining' was moot. Also, breaking up onstage is very awkward. And so is pissing your bandmate’s pants.

If you were a poutine, what would be in it?

If I were a poutine, I would be the classic crispy-on-the-outside, tender in the middle, peanut-oil-fried-potatoes with squeaky, Quebec curds and a homemade, slightly pepper-y gravy. Sometimes with smoked meat. And occasionally forgoing it all for meat sauce a l’Italienne.

Note to my US friends: please do not put krinkle cut fries, white gravy or orange curds in your poutine. It saddens some of us up here.

What are the guidelines to have a good time at a Mark Sultan show?

I think you will have a good time at my show if you know that I mean to give you my heart and you accept that idea. It’s fun when people stop posturing for a sec and dance or kiss or whatever, to love rock'n’roll with me. If you are expecting 'swamp blues' or guitar virtuosity or are afraid of someone emoting, stay home. But if you wanna succumb to old energies with me, to laugh with ghosts and puke with reverie, we can spend an hour or so in absolute removal, vibrating. Then we can talk about shitting or Tom Hanks, get drunk at the bar and laugh like buffoons.

Reading this back, it’s clear: to have fun, you really have to not think like me. I am boring.

Is rock n roll dead?

I think my idea of what rock'n'roll 'is' or 'was' is dead to ME, to an extent. I think some folks DO keep it alive. But I don't even know what it is anymore...90's retro grunge? Note-by-note retro-xeroxing? Copious reverb? Cool clothes? Club memberships? Is music itself now a visual medium, synesthesically deceiving itself to approval-seekers? Who cares what I think, anyway? I am the unhip. I'll always be listening to the music I love and being a square until the next wave hits and it starts again, I guess.

Who would be in your all-star band?

My all-star band would not contain me or anyone I know. It would be unknown kids truly and enthusiastically playing music that makes anyone who listens wanna drink, fight and fuck, simultaneously.

What is your message for the kids?

Don't listen to me. Always do what you wanna do. Love life. Destroy.

And please don’t ask me if The King Khan & BBQ Show is ever going to tour again!