#tonestake

YOU’RE ALL H0TT 4 TEACHER BECAUSE IM THA TEACHER!! This handsome woman is Flexotes, goddess of CrossFit. Her task from Zeus was to not eat this baby for 48 hours. The baby in transport possessed powerful dark energy and convinced Flexotes to remove her arm as tribute to Zeus and for a few hours of amusement to the tiny chaos mage. After 48 hours of bloodletting and 30 sets of 10 Burpees, Flexotes returned the baby to Olympus where Zeus had built a wine hot tub as a gift to Flexotes who had successfully not eaten the baby that would grow up to be well known drunken crooner Bing Crosby. History is easy! Don’t bother fact checking LOSERS! #TonesTake #tonysbigfatgreekvacation (at Sudbury, Ontario) https://www.instagram.com/p/B11AN_bg7oz/?igshid=1m9xkh7cz2wey

Alright, I didn’t study Ancient Greece, I went to public American schools. The earliest point in history I was taught was John Adams punching Thomas Jefferson in his head 40 times after the infamous debate on wig powder. I think I get “history” so let’s get this going based on no historical information. So the child being carried in this statue is Jahboyacles who was the heir apparent to Zeus’ Slave factory based near modern day Dayton Ohio, which, considering Pangea was actually where Ancient Olympia was, I will not argue this with haters. The man carrying the boy is Alandershakos who ONLY made love to one woman, his wife, I will NOT debate this. He is stealing Jahboyacles because he was falsely accused of washing his lower half near the bathing area of young Greek women and wanted to prove that he wasn’t into the lowly women. The matter was quickly resolved as Zeus came down from Olympus and said unto Alandershakos, “This ain’t it, Chief.” History is so easy! I’ll be back with more school type shit soon. ✌️ #TonesTake #tonysbigfatgreekvacation (at Dayton, Ohio) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1tjs2EAkfc/?igshid=13otym7t67p9e