#tomyhusband

I have been reading  “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian. She has a prayer in this first chapter that has really touched me:

“Lord, I confess I do not esteem my husband the way Your word says to. There is a wall in my heart that I know was erected as a protection against being hurt. But I am ready to let it come down so that my heart can heal. I confess that times I have shown a lack of respect for him. I confess my disrespectful attitude and works as sin against You. Show me how to dismantle this barrier over my emotions that keeps me from having the unconditional love You want me to have. Tear down the walls of hardness around my heart and show me how to respect my husband the way You want me to. Give me Your heart for him, Lord, and help me to see him the way You see him. Amen.”

This really hit home for me. I did not realize that I was doing so much that could really mess up my husband. I am supposed to be the woman that he comes home to every day, I am supposed to be the person that makes sure his house is more than just a place to sleep, eat, shower, and poop. It is my job to turn those four walls into a palace, a home, a place of peace. Doing all of those things are part of respecting my husband. By respecting the position that I play in the household, then I am respecting his position as my husband, as the head of the house. Even when he makes a stupid decision, I am supposed to support him without question. 

I find this part especially difficult. There are a lot of things that he and I do not agree on. Hell, most of the time I do not even think that he listens to me when I am explaining something, different from his thought process, that he will completely just throw away because it is so different from what he was thinking or even going to do. He completely throws my opinion out the window and then he questions me as to whether or not I was actually listening to what he was saying. It is hard to respect someone one when they are also disrespecting you.

That is when I went back to the beginning of the chapter where Stormie explains that being a true praying wife, there are going to be changes made but those changes might not be for your husband. I know that there are many things that I need to work on, not just as his wife, but as a woman, as a wife, as a mother, even as a paralegal. I have a lot of things that God is currently working with me on. I am a work in progress, I am far form finished. I can not expect the man that I love, the father to my son, to change if I am not changing. I can not expect him to respect me, if I am not respecting him. 

This is the part where knowing my husband really comes into play. I know that there are tones of voice, specific wordings, and most important body language that will translate DISRESPECT. I have to be mindful of the things that I KNOW  he takes as a disrespect. That is when it hit me, we are forced to work on our communication at them moment so this is the opportunity, I finally see, a way to pray and act on what God is telling me so that my husband doesn’t feel as though I am disrespecting him. 

I am not talking about how I have to take everything on the chin because there is something I am doing wrong, that is not the case as all. I am stating that I cannot ask him to change the way he talks/acts/respects me if I am not also working on trying to fix those very same things.  

I love my husband with everything inside me. He is my best friend, the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with, the person that I want to have a family with, to raise that family. I have a dream that one day we will be sitting on the porch in our matching wooden rocking chairs, talking to our kids, watching our grandbabies run around in the yard. I want to grow old with this man. However, in order to get to that dream, there are a lot of things that I need to work on first. 

This is not the best phase of our life

some days we don’t have enough reason to smile

Other days we feel lost 

In between where we are 

and where we want to be

We lose that smile at times

but that won’t change the fact 

that we’re still madly in love.

I am not sure what the future holds

but I just want to let you know

When the cruel world turns its back on you, 

On the days you feel lost, 

and the moment you feel low, 

We’re all in this together

I’ll find my ways to make you smile

I will always pick you up.

This may be a rough road journey 

but we will surely reach our destination 

When that moment comes

Not only I am going to be there with you

We will enjoy the sunshine

and we’ll dance in the rain together too. 

Through the good times and bad, 

You’ll never be alone, love. 

From the woman you’ll NEVER get rid off, 

CC0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=324182

When did we go from

Young and in love to

Old and in love still?

Of course, we never

Really were young in love–

Our love sprang in midlife

And grew with companionship

And care, caring as we did

One about the other, but

Honestly, when you are in

Love, you are always young–

Now our hair is no longer grey

It has turned white, age

Has struck…