#tomc360

This time of year brings memories heavy to my heart. I do not want to remember, but forgetting would allow them to repeat.

I have been strengthened by their occurrence.

I carry my faults and participation in reasons for others’ choices, but I forgive the young man I was, and the little boy hiding inside.

Christmas can also be so beautiful and colorful and happy. Mostly for others, I learned, and for the kids, etc.

Memories and feelings are keyed by music, cookies, and happy surroundings.

I have never believed I deserved it—the love, gifts, attention, desire… anything.

Happy holidays, Merry Christmas, blessed Hanukkah, all the things.

“Be the light you wish to see in the world.” — Unknown

This was stirred by a memory of events that happened one winter long ago, a moment that broke my heart and, today, brought me to tears and made me need to create.

Citations:

Time's Grip

Time Claws at my ear, Roaring its Fears, Declaring its Game. It carves grey into my beard, Screaming my name.

The Relentless Tide Raging, back and forth, Happiness and Emptiness Surge, low and high. The Tide of Fulfillment is mine to command, Plunging deep with regret, Soaring higher when I defy.

Soul's Etching It etches lines on my soul, The relentless ebb and flow. Sometimes a brutal force, Where do these waves originate? Know this: It is You.

Embrace the Fury Seize the dance of love! With fierce kindness, Crush darkness and regrets! Banish them until another reckoning day!

My Truth Unveiled Forget my name, my face, my Art! Know what you mean to me – a searing hunger! Know what you ignite in my HEART! Silence.

Your Emptiness, My Strength Take your hollow words, Your hollow songs, Your emptiness, Your stark Beauty.

And endure my silence! In safety, yes, Unburdened by this malady, This curse That is mine: Love.

My Unyielding Vow For one day, When the tide finally breaks, when the constant ebb and swirling motion cease, Know this: I LOVED You.

Unleashed Underway again, cast off, Unbound by this mortal coil. No course! No Heading! No Safety light!

Only Night.