#tomaholic

T: Finally landed, can’t wait to see you.

You smiled for a moment, feeling warmth spreading through your chest. You had missed him a lot more than you should have, considering you were back in the friendzone. For both of you. You had decided that not so long after reuniting, knowing it was better for the both of you. Even though you had forgiven him, you knew you wouldn’t be able to be with him. You preferred having him as your best friend and he felt the same way. The feelings were more platonic now. Well, you liked to believe they were.

Forgiving Tom had been slow. It had been long nights of talking to give each other news about your lives, it had been evenings at the pub and walks with Tessa. It had been dinners with his family and late night drives to the nearest fast food place. It had been movie nights and cuddling like old times.

You knew you had gotten out of all of this stronger than you had been before. The night before he had left for filming, he had promised to you that nothing would ever come between the two of you again. You had smiled to him, saying you weren’t going to let his dumb ass do anything like that again. You had both laughed, and then he had hugged you and that was the last time you had seen him. Now you couldn’t wait to see him again.

Y/N: You’re gonna have to wait, Haz’s not there yet.

T: That div… I’ll take pictures with fans while waiting for your dumb asses to get here.

Y/N: I wanted to leave, Haz’s the div that said you were landing later today.

There was a knock on your door and you immediately assumed it was Haz. And of course it was. You put your cellphone in your purse without looking at it one last time.

“Hey there, you alright?” Haz asked as you opened the door.

“We’re just really late but apart from that, yeah, I’m alright”, you answered as you walked out of your flat and shut the door behind you. “I really should have come knocking at your door an hour ago, like we were supposed to.”

“Someone’s a little anxious I see”, Haz smirked.

“Shut up, you dickhead, I’m not anxious”, you affirmed.

Haz just stared at you, raising his brows.

“Stop looking at me like that, mate, you look like a div”, you laughed. “Shall we go?”

“Yup, your prince charming is already waiting for you”, Haz smiled.

“How many times would I need to tell you to shut up about this before you actually will do?” you enquired, exasperated.

Haz burst out laughing before shaking his head. “You know you can’t hide it”, he said.

“I can hide whatever I want”, you affirmed as you walked towards the staircase.

“You’re the worst liar there is”, Haz stated.

“Maybe I am, but at least I’m not the dickhead here”, you replied.

Haz shook his head laughing before following you to his car. You sat down in the car as Haz started the engine. The sound of the motor coming to life got your hands to turn clammy.

Actually, you were pretty anxious at the thought of seeing Tom again. Last time he had come back from filming, he had told you your friendship was over because of his new girl. You didn’t want that happening, not again.

You sighed deeply, chasing the dark thoughts away. Tom wouldn’t have texted you if he was planning to pull a move like that again, right?

“Really, you guys should tell each other how you feel”, Harrison said while his attention stayed on the road. “Everyone can see it except your two dumbasses.”

“Firstly, I have no idea what you’re talking about”, you replied, “and secondly, I thought we had made it clear that you’re the dumbass.”

“I’m being serious, Y/N.” He shot you a look before resuming his attention on the road. “Ever since I’ve known you guys I’ve known you are both in love with each other.”

“We’ve had this conversation before, Haz”, you softly said. “Tom told me he loved me last June and I told him I did before we went separate ways. We’ve decided to just be friends.”

“Bullshit”, Haz said. “You can’t just be friends.”

“We’ve been for most of our lives”, you stated. “That’s how it’s meant to be.”

“Bullshit”, Haz repeated.

And perhaps he was right. Perhaps it was just some bullshit stuff you tried to tell yourself in order to forget how much you craved Tom’s presence each time he was away, how much you missed his smile and how much your heart beat faster each time you were with him and you got caught up in his eyes.

“Whatever”, you breathed. “I’m not ready yet.”

“It’s been so long Y/N”, Haz said. “You have to stop pushing people away and…”

“I don’t like where this conversation is going”, you interrupted him.

“Sorry, I just want the best for my best friends”, Haz admitted.

“I know you do”, you gently said. “Let’s focus on finding a parking.”

Haz shot you a look before doing as you had said. Once that was done, you walked in the airport and a wave of anxiety crashed down on you. What if Tom had found someone again?

You followed Haz to where Tom would be arriving. When you saw a crowd in the distance, you knew was somewhere over there. And he was. He raised his head as he felt a burning gaze on him and he knew it was you even before his eyes found yours.

He excused himself from the crowd, saying he had to go. All along his eyes stayed on you and people seemed to notice. Two younger girls mentioned it and Tom ignored them. He had spent more than enough time with them, it was now time to go back home. And home was just over there.

Haz slowed down a bit as he noticed how Tom and you hurried to each other. He watched as Tom wrapped his arms around you, a huge smile on his lips as he spun you around.

You giggled as Tom put you down and you looked at him.

“Hey there”, Tom smiled as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Why did he feel like crying right now?

“Hey”, you simply said and it took everything in him not to lean in and kiss you right there.

But he couldn’t. He knew you preferred to only be friends and he was fine with it. Or was he?

He felt cold as you pulled away, pink creeping on your cheeks. He raised his head to see Haz walking towards him. He hugged him too and then looked at you. You were looking down at your feet, your cheeks still completely red.

“You alright, Y/N?” he asked.

You nodded, ignoring his gaze. Haz shrugged his shoulders before suggesting to go back home. You raised your head at that moment.

“Yes, yeah, that’s a great idea”, you said.

Tom watched as Haz and you exchanged a long look and for a moment he felt jealous. Had something happened when he was gone? Nah, Haz would never do something like that.

Haz started walking towards the exit and Tom grabbed the handle of his suitcase before following. He shot a look at you over his shoulder and you smiled softly as his puppy dog eyes were gazing at you. You had missed him so much.

“You comin’?” he asked.

“Yeah, sorry, I just can’t believe you’re finally here”, you answered.

Tom’s lips spread into a soft smile and he held out his hand for you to take. You walked to him, grabbed his hand and you walked hand in hand to Haz’s car. For a moment, you forgot that you were in public and that people could take pictures of you. And of course they did.

Tom sat with you on the back seat as Haz drove you back home and your hand still rested in his. His thumb rubbed circles on your skin and you couldn’t stop smiling as you watched him. He told you and Haz about the last weeks of filming. Well, mostly you because his eyes almost never left yours. Haz could see it through the rear-view mirror and he couldn’t help but to smile. You guys were perfect for each other and he wanted you to be together. And he could tell by the way you were lost in each other’s gazes that it was only a matter of time till it happened.

When you arrived to your apartment building, you went to the boys’ flat. Haz said he was going to a haunted house with his sister and that he was going to come back late, so that left you alone with Tom.

You thought about what Haz had said and you wondered if in fact it had been long enough and if you should stop pushing Tom away. You didn’t want to anymore. The weeks away from him had told you that at some point you had to stop letting the past affect your relationship with him now. It was time to let go of the past and to embrace the present.

“What are you looking at like that?” Tom asked as he propped himself down on the couch.

“You”, you answered simply.

Tom felt his cheeks turning red. “Me? Uh why?”

You smiled at the sight of him so flustered.

“You’re here”, you said. “And I missed you.”

“Come ‘ere”, Tom said as he patted the couch next to him.

You walked to him and sat next to him, gently resting your head against his shoulder.

“Look at me”, he whispered.

You raised your head and only then did you notice how close you were to him.

“I don’t want to just be friends with you”, he whispered.

You had two choices: either let him in or leave him. Your heart’s rhythm slowed down.

“We’ve never just been friends, Tom”, you gently said.

He leaned in a little and his lips brushed against yours.

“That true?” he asked and you could hear his gulp as he swallowed.

You nodded slightly and your nose bumped a little with his. You both laughed gently and then Tom’s gaze found yours. The whole world slowed down and for a moment you relived everything. The day you met and the day he gave you flowers at Valentine’s Day, and the evergreen azalea and training Tessa and a cup of earl grey tea, and nights and nights of crying and waiting for him to come back. And now he was there.  He was right there and he was always going to be and he was the most beautiful thing in your life and he would always will be.

You closed the gap between you two. Your eyes and his fluttered close and Tom’s breath got caught up in his throat as your lips moved softly against his. He was careful, oh so careful because he was afraid that you were going to disappear if he so much as touched you.

But you, oh you weren’t going to disappear. One of your hands found his cheek and you softly caressed his skin with your thumb.

It was a pretty simple kiss. It held all of the love you felt for him and all of the love he felt for you. It held the warmth of a summer breeze and the light of a thousand stars.

You moved a little to feel Tom’s body against yours and he gently put a hand on your hip. There was a spark, and something changed. The kiss heated up a little and your tongue grazed his bottom lip before he let it in. You climbed on top of him and his hands found the curve just a little over your butt. Your arms snaked around his neck, one of your hands getting lost in his curls.

Your hearts were beating in synch as you moved together, lost in this dance of love you should have danced a long time ago. But it was okay. You had needed time before you were able to give yourself to Tom and before he could give himself to you. But now you were ready to let in the vulnerability. Because of course letting Tom in was to be vulnerable. It was the purest type of vulnerability there was and you were oh so ready to be one with it.

You pulled apart for a moment, resting your forehead against his, as you tried to catch your breath. His hands slowly inched downwards and then under your shirt. Electricity coursed through your veins and you tugged at the curls on the back of his neck.

“Tom”, you whispered.

His fingertips danced on the skin of your back and you just wanted the moment to last forever. You breathed in and out shakily and then you kissed him again. It was slow again but the feeling of Tom’s hands against your skin made you lose control.

You would have liked to take your time and to appreciate every single second of it but you couldn’t. You needed him and you needed him right now.

You grinded your hips into his and you could feel Tom’s gasp. He pulled you closer and your tongue found his again. You tugged at his hair, a little too hard as his hands found your hips and guided your movements. You had never thought that dry humping could be so hot but right now it was the best thing you had ever experienced.

He bit at your bottom lip before pulling away and opening his eyes. Your cheeks were a little red and you had never looked so hot. You opened your eyes slowly only to find Tom’s burning gaze on you.

“Is that alright with you?” he asked.

You didn’t need to think at all to know what the “that” meant. You nodded your head quickly.

“I wanna hear you say it”, Tom said with a low-husky voice.

Your body went in overdrive at that exact moment.

“I want you, Tom”, you answered.

It was all he needed for him to take your shirt off before starting to kiss your neck and your collarbone. You moved your hips against his and you could feel his arousal through his sweatpants. He was getting harder by the second.

“Holy damn fuck, my bad”, Haz exclaimed from where he was standing.

You spun around and tumbled down from the couch.

“What the fuck, Haz?” Tom said as he took a pillow to hide the bulge in his pants.

You found your shirt on the ground and quickly put it on.

Haz burst out laughing and you just felt really embarrassed for a little while.

“Sorry, mate, I forgot Char’s shirt that she left here the other day”, Haz explained. “Wasn’t expecting to come back to you guys having sex on the couch. You didn’t take your time.”

The last sentence was addressed to you and you felt your cheeks burning.

“We weren’t having sex”, Tom mumbled.

“Then what are you hiding?” Haz smirked.

“Shut up you dickhead”, you interjected.

Haz laughed. “I’ll just grab the shirt and then you can go back to what you were doing before I came.”

“Kinda killed the moment, mate”, Tom mumbled as he avoided your gaze.

“Shut up, you div, I’m rooting for you two”, Haz said and you couldn’t help but to start laughing.

“Then go rooting somewhere else”, Tom said.

Your laughter doubled up and you felt your eyes watering.

“She was anxious a lot before we picked you up, help her to relax mate”, Haz said after he had grabbed the shirt from his room.

You grabbed a pillow from the couch. “Shut up, you div!” you exclaimed as you threw the pillow at him.

Haz blocked it with his hand. “Good evening, guys, please go to your room or else I’m not ever sitting on that couch again.”

“Just get the fuck out of here, you dickhead”, Tom laughed.

Haz waved goodbye and walked out of the flat, leaving you sitting on the ground and Tom still sitting on the couch.

“Well, that’s awkward”, Tom said after a moment.

You chuckled. “We got cockblocked by Haz”, you stated.

Again that made you laugh and you felt the tension in the air disappear as Tom started to laugh too. You both laughed for a moment and it really eased the tension.

After a while, you got up from the ground and looked at Tom. You smiled cheekily and Tom furrowed his brows.

“What?” he asked.

“Shall we go finish this in your room?”

Tom’s breathing got caught up in his throat and all he could do was to nod. You truly were the most perfect person in the world.

He got up from the couch and you held out a hand for him to take. You then guided him to his room where you knew you were going to take all the time in the world to appreciate every second with him.

And that’s what you did. Having sex with Tom was easy, your bodies knew how to move together and it was perfect. A little clumsy at times, but perfect. As he kissed you slowly, you knew he was your one and he knew you were his.

Yes, you had had tough times, but tough times were over. Now was the time to embrace your life with him, because you were never going to let him go. Beautiful days were ahead, days of love and laugh and happiness.

I love you, Tom.

Leave some comments here if you want, it’s always appreciated!

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           He was training in the subtle art of life and death now and how both were intricately threaded together into the world. Lord Joysner believed that it was all balanced and that for each death something else came to life. He also believed that no life should be taken without a good reason, for playing the game of the Reaper wasn’t for the mortals.

           That was the second rule. Never take a life without a good reason. Being told to wasn’t a good reason. It had to be for the greater good, for the sake of the kingdom. For now, Harrison wasn’t allowed to take a life. It was the final test and that test was only going to come when his predecessor was going to die. Which he hoped wouldn’t be before a long time. He still feared the way he had felt powerful as the life had disappeared from Krysko’s drunken eyes. He was afraid to become addicted to killing, which indeed was a danger as an Assassin, according to Lord Joysner.

           Killing was thrilling. It was a fact all the Assassins knew, a feeling that seeped into all of them when they took a life. But it had to never become overpowering. The day it did, they had to take their own life. For the sake of the kingdom, as always.

           Anyway, before becoming an Assassin, Harrison still had a long way to go. He had to learn how to detect a lie and how to spy. How to steal and how to know if his food was poisoned. He had to know how to fight with every possible weapon and without one. He had to learn where to strike to kill a man with only a single blow, and where to strike if he wanted the agony to last longer. He had to learn when to take a life and when not to, and when to get a man to tell all of his little dark secrets.

           The list went on and on and every day Harrison swore he would never get to the end of it. But he would, eventually.

           Meanwhile, he had to play a role. He was now the second to an officer and he had to stay that way until his time was come.

Lord Joysner was waiting for him under the usual oak tree by the side of the river where he gave him his lessons every morning. They also trained to fight under the moonlight each night, which left Harrison tired. But it was for the greater good.

           Lord Joysner smirked as Harrison was walking towards him. Something was off. Lord Joysner never smiled. Harrison’s mind went a mile a minute as he tried to figure out what was wrong.

           There was the sound of an arrow cutting through the air somewhere on his left. Harrison dived, rolled and got up in one swift movement. He scanned his surroundings. Lord Joysner was still standing in front of him, the same smirk plastered on his lips.

           There was no one around but he heard the sound of another arrow just in time to step aside. The arrow hit the tree behind him and he saw a flash of orange somewhere in the woods. His instinct kicked in and he sprinted towards the person.

           They were fast but Harrison was faster. It didn’t take him long before he tackled them and they stumbled to the ground. Harrison rolled on his back, but they were faster. And the “they” actually was a she. And she was strangling him.

           But Harrison was stronger. He put his arms between hers to make her lose her grip and then he made her fall to the side. She was quick and she rolled away and got up.

           That’s when Harrison really could take a look at her face. She was the girl he had saved from Lord Krysko.

“What are you still doing here?” he enquired as he got up.

“Meet Cassidy”, Lord Joysner said from the side.

           The girl smiled and a gush of wind caught in her hair. Harrison’s heart stopped beating for a moment. Long enough for Lord Joysner to make him fall back down.

“Rule number three”, Lord Joysner began as Harrison stumbled to his feet, a little dizzy. “Always keep an eye on your surroundings. Day and night.”

           Lord Joysner walked away and Harrison followed, Cassidy next to him.

“You took my first kill”, she said as they walked through the woods.

“What do you mean, your first kill?” Harrison asked.

“Krysko”, she simply answered. “He was mine.”

“But aren’t we supposed to wait for Lord Joysner to die before…” Harrison started.

“Ayfa’s dead”, Cassidy explained. “Which means I get to be an Assassin now.”

“Not quite”, Lord Joysner said over his shoulder. “You still have a lot of training to do.”

She rolled her eyes and for a moment Harrison wanted to laugh. But he didn’t, not when Lord Joysner was just right in front of him.

“So, you two will train together from now on”, Lord Joysner said as he stopped. “I’ll be watching you.”

           And he did. As Harrison and the girl fought, Lord Joysner watched from the side, suggesting different techniques to each of them. Harrison was stronger, but the girl was faster. Harrison wasn’t able to touch her once, but he knew he would be waking up with a lot of bruises on the morrow.

“Enough for today”, Lord Joysner said from the side. “Harrison, you can go. Cassidy, stay with me.”

           Harrison wanted to talk to the girl but he knew better then to disobey. So he walked back to the camp, heading to Kravinskhy’s tent as he did every morning. He didn’t find the officer, so he went back to where he slept with the other guys.

           He saw Lord Pettyfer as he walked. Although he was dying to talk to him, to take some news of the other Northerners, he knew better than to blow his cover like this. So he continued walking toward his usual fire.

“Harrison, over here”, Kravinzhky called him from where he was standing, beside the horses. “Tell the boys to curry the horses, we’re moving today.”

           Harrison stopped in his tracks to look at the officer.

“We are?” Harrison enquired. “Is there some news from the Gate?”

“It seems the Northerners have assembled”, Kravinzhky stated. “Lord Talenta says it’s now or never. If we don’t storm the Gate before the sun sets, we’ll lose our advantage. And once you’ve told the boys, meet me west of the Gate. That’s where we’ll assemble with the rest of the common people. The knights will be on the first line.”

“Why’s that?” Harrison asked. He thought the common people were supposed to be on the first line.

“King’s orders”, Kravinzhky said. “Go, we need to hurry.”

           Excitement filled Harrison as he thought about what was to come. He walked to the grooms and told them to curry the horses before he headed to the west of the Gate.

           The Gate was an impressive building. It was made of black rocks with veins of ruby in it. Half a thousand meters high, it was also the highest building this side of the Gate. Harrison knew that there was a cathedral on the Northern side that was higher than the Gate but he could only see the top of its highest tower. The Cathedral of the Lost Souls. It was believed that the Gate had been sculpted into a mountain by slaves back when there was still slaves in the Kingdom, before the Kingdom was separated in two. The Cathedral had been built in memories of those slaves.

           He found Kravinzhky next to a naked tree trunk. The officer was accompanied by Lord Talenta and Harrison lowered his head.

“What are you doing still dressed like that, put on your armour”, Kravinzkhy said.

           Harrison turned around as he noticed Lord Talenta was about to look at him. His heartbeat slowed down as he feared the man would have recognised him. Lord Talenta only resumed his conversation with Kravinzhy, ignoring the interruption.

           When Harrison finished putting on his armour (to call it an armour was a big word, it was made of leather on top of chainmail), he returned west of the Gate.

           Men were mounted on war horses, but they all looked uncomfortable. Except one of them. It didn’t take a long time for Harrison to understand that man was a Northerner. Maybe Lord Pettyfer. But in the distance Harrison couldn’t tell who he was.

           Lord Talenta had left Kravinzhky’s side and Harrison felt relieved. Even though his helm was hiding most of his features, he didn’t want to risk being recognised.

“We need men to wield the ram”, Kravinzhky was saying as Harrison stopped next to him. “Strong men. Is there any smiths here?”

           Three men walked forwards. Harrison felt sorry for them. They were going to die first.

“I need another man”, Kravinzhy said. “It’s an honour to wield the ram that’s going to break through the Gate.”

“Then why don’t you go?” a man asked from the back of the crowd.

           If Kravinzhky would have known the guy Harrison knew the man would have been forced to wield the ram.

“I’m going to do it”, said another voice.

           Harrison recognised the voice and his heart stopped in his chest for a moment. Lord Joysner. What was he doing?

“Step forward”, Kravinzhky said.

           Lord Joysner stepped forward, joining the three smiths.

“You will wield the ram along with ten knights”, Kravinzhky explained. “Those of you who’ll survive the battle will get a lordship at the end of the war.”

           Harrison was staring at Lord Joysner and he couldn’t hear Kravinzhky’s words anymore. If Lord Joysner was to die, that meant he was never going to finish his training. There was the girl, Cassidy, but she was in training too.

           He watched as Lord Joysner left to go where the ram now was, never once looking back at him.

           Harrison’s excitement died down a little. He didn’t want to be an Assassin just yet, he wasn’t ready. Lord Joysner had to survive.

“Get ready”, Kravinzhky said. “Assemble in the formation we’ve practiced before.”

           Men were running around as Harrison took place. From where he was, on the second line of his battalion, Harrison could see the men getting ready to bring the ram to the Gate. The world fell silent as the men picked up the ram and walked towards the Gate.

           A rain of arrows fell on them from the Gate, but none touched its target. Perhaps it was a miracle, or perhaps the Northerners didn’t want to actually kill anyone.

           The men got to the door. The sound the ram made when it hit the wood of it the first time sent shivers down Harrison’s back. And he knew that the worst part was that there was two other doors to break before they would make their way through the Gate.

           That’s when Harrison noticed some guards at the top of the Gate. Getting ready to drop hot oil on the men. There was nothing he could do but to watch.

           His heart beat incredibly fast as he wondered if the door was going to break before the guards were going to let the barrels of oil fall on the men at the bottom of the Gate. He hoped it was.

           A second hit and there was the sound of wood cracking. The door truly wasn’t solid. There was a gush of wind and Harrison could hear the screams of men at the top of the Gate. They stopped moving the barrels and that’s when Harrison understood that it was too late.

           The door gave out at the third hit, breaking in the middle. There were mounted riders on the other side, with bows and arrows, and they started shooting on the men before they could even get their swords.

           The door they had broken through wasn’t the true door, Harrison understood. It was a fake one, put there to create a trap the Southerners were easily going to get into. Harrison couldn’t quite comprehend why nobody had noticed it before, but he knew that it cost the lives of thirteen men. Only because the fourteenth was left standing when all the others were dead and the Northerners took him as a hostage. Harrison hoped with all of his heart that that man was Lord Joysner and not one of the Southerners but in the distance he couldn’t tell.

           The whole moment lasted only a couple of minutes but it seemed that an eternity passed before Lord Talenta, who was at the head of the army, somewhere in the middle of the empty space between the army and the Gate along with the king, reacted. He shouted orders to a group of mounted southerner knights and they started galloping towards the Gate.

           Harrison couldn’t see the inside of it from where he was but he guessed that meant the Northerners hadn’t shut the door behind them.

           This was wrong. This was all wrong. Three of the horses fell as barrels of hot oil fell on them, breaking at the contact and burning their skin and the skin of their mounters.

“It’s a trap”, Harrison shouted to Kravinzhky. “The Northerners are setting a trap for us. They’ll kill all of us one by one if that’s what it takes.”

           He didn’t know why he had said that. Kravinzhky turned to look at him.

“What do you know about war?” he enquired.

“Nothing”, Harrison admitted. “But why would they leave the Gate open?”

“It’s a gamble, boy”, Kravinzhky said. “The Gate takes hours to open and to close.”

“Why didn’t they leave it shut then?” Harrison enquired.

           Kravinzhky stayed silent for a moment and Harrison knew he was right. Something was off. The Gate wasn’t supposed to be opened.

           The riders who had gone through the Gate never came back. Lord Talenta called for a meeting with all of the officers and Kravinzhky left before he could reply to Harrison.

           The boy waited for hours, but it seemed nothing was happening. He was hot under the sun and he couldn’t help but to wonder if there was something he could do apart from waiting for Kravinzhky to come back.

           As the wait got longer, some men started shouting that this was pointless, that they were all going to die under the sun. Some men actually fell, the heat getting the best of them.

           Harrison was sweating, but he knew better than to move. Deserters were executed and he didn’t want to be executed.

           After a while, he heard a high sound from the Gate. People started shouting from the center of the army and it didn’t take him a while to realize that the door was closing. And the officers still weren’t coming back.

           They came back hours later it seemed, although it probably had only lasted an hour. Kravinzhky stopped in front of the battalion.

“The attack is over for today”, he shouted. “We’re starting again at midnight. Not all of you will go, but we need someone to break through the doors under the cover of night.”

           Men shouted back insanities, but Kravinzhky stood his ground.

“Go get some rest and don’t forget to drink some water”, he ordered. “Remember that deserters will get executed.”

           Harrison sighed as men started to move. He followed them, wondering if it was going to be like this every day from now on. He knew the Southerners had never succeeded at passing through the Gate and now he understood why. They didn’t even have catapults to eliminate the men at the top of the Gate. They don’t know how to fight a war.

           And perhaps that was it. The Southerners were a boat people, they didn’t know how to fight a war without their ships. He didn’t even understand why they weren’t invading the North through the sea.

           They had two choices: the cursed waters of the Mermaid Sea or the waters of the Emerald Sea. Although, if they crossed to the North by the Emerald Sea, they’d have to fight with the mountain clans before even getting to a lesser city of the North. Indeed, mountains were cutting the North in two, mountains lost in snow, the Blades of the Sky. If the Southerners sailed towards the North from Lylas, they would be able to get to the Green lands, but they’d have to cross the Blades.

           Although, if Harrison remembered his geography well, he knew that two cities were on the coast of the Emerald Sea in the North, on this side of the Blades. Why weren’t the Southerners attacking from there?

           And then he understood. They were going to attack from there. The Gate was only a distraction.

 -

 You swam with all the strength of your tail to the Ancients’ quarters. You were worried about what the man had told you. If he was right, you would have to give away the gift of the Kiss. But you couldn’t, you were a sister now. Right? You couldn’t just give up on your life. Didn’t I give up on my life on earth when I accepted the gift?

           You didn’t remember much of said life. You were a Daam, that you knew. Y/N Daam, not Salia. And the more you thought about it the more it came back. Well, your memories of the man came back. You remembered dancing with him and kissing him underneath the moonlight, you remembered making love with him. But his name didn’t come back. You didn’t know his name and down here names were worth a lot. If one of the sisters learned your name before you were one of them, she would be able to control you. Like you were able to control the sea serpents. And you didn’t want that happening.

           At first, when the man had woken up, you had wanted to feast on him. Yes, you had been curious, but he smelled so good and you were hungry. But now, as bits of your memory were coming back, you knew he was right. The more you swam the more you knew he was right. You had a kingdom to save, your kingdom. And it was not by staying under the waves that you’d be able to save anyone.

           The Ancients’ quarters were sculpted in luminescent crystals and it was truly the most beautiful place in the Palace. You had been there once before, when you had been born. And now you were back, to ask them to take the Kiss back. If that was possible.

           You actually knew it was. How would have people walked the ground first if the kiss wasn’t reversible? You just had the find the price of it and to convince the Ancients to let you leave with the man. The man was yours, you had killed a sea serpent for him. You knew they wouldn’t have the choice but to let you leave with him. Unless they decided to kill you… They couldn’t do that, right?

           You entered the audience chamber, where the Ancients were feasting on shark meat. You started salivating at the smell, but you weren’t here to eat.

Salia, said the oldest mermaid. I can sense your trouble. What is it that brings you here?

I was wondering if there’s a possibility for me to go back on earth, you replied.

           All the sisters turned to look at you and you wondered if they were going to kill you.

Why would you want that? one of them asked. Humans threw you in the sea. If we wouldn’t have been there you would have died.

I had a purpose back on the ground, you tried to explain.

That purpose died when you died and were born again, Lyana, the mermaid, stated.

I was a princess on the ground, you explained. I was on my way to stop a war when I fell in the water

           As you were talking more memories came back to you. You remembered your father striking you and the day you had learned about your brother’s death. You remembered blue eyes, blue as the water of the Sea, and wolves bigger than men.

I know some sisters get back to their family after being born, you said. Let me go so I can save the world.

That’s an honourable reason to go on the ground, one of the Ancients, Malania, said.

Yes, it is, admitted Lyana. Do you know the price of giving up on the Kiss?

You shook your head no. I don’t know, you admitted.

You’ll need to come back to the sea, Lyana said. You are a sister and sisters come back to water.

           You thought about it a little. That was possible. You had the time to live an entire life on the ground and you could come back when you’d be old only for that matter. You knew the Kiss could give you back your youth.

That’s okay, you said. I’ll come back, you all are my sisters.

That’s not all, Malania interjected. No girls can be born from your union with a man on the ground. Only mermaids will be born and mermaids cannot live on the ground. Unless you give birth in the sea, but then you won’t be able to stay on the ground.

Is that all? You asked.

           Not being able to give birth to girls was the last of your worries right now. You needed to stop the war between the South and the North first.

I see you’re really decided, Lyana said. You’ll feel the call of the sea every day. It will hurt.

I can tell you it does hurt, Malania admitted. I experienced it. And I wanted to come back every day, so much I left my family to be reunited with my sisters.

As long as I can stop the war I’m fine with those terms, you reaffirmed. I don’t mind suffering for my people, I’ve always did.

           Silence fell in the audience chamber as most of the Ancients resumed their attention on their meal. Everyone except Malania and Lyana.

I sense that something is still troubling you, Malania said as she swam to you, her red scales glimmering in the light.

I need to bring the man with me, you said. I’ve killed a serpent for him, and he needs to come with me.

Salia, we feast on men, Lyana disapproved. We don’t let them go.

Without him, the war can’t be stopped, you explained.

Why’s that? asked Malania.

I was on my way to be wed to him, you explained. He’s the son of the King of the North.

We don’t let the troubles of the upside world affect us, a sister interjected.

Nalalia. You could feel her anger growing, and your fangs started secreting poison as a reaction.

Those aren’t troubles of the upside world, you affirmed. They are my troubles. I’ve accepted the terms already.

But you can’t decide to bring a man with you, Nalalia insisted. We’ll feast on his flesh tonight.

You won’t, you spat. I killed Jhyscario for him, the man belongs to me.

Nalalia hissed and tried to attack you, but she was old and slow and you got out of her way.

Enough! interjected Malania. The man is Salia’s. She’s right, he belongs to her.

People from Azkhapoor… you’re all monsters, Nalalia growled before swimming away.

What is she talking about? You enquired.

I’m from Azkhapoor too, admitted Malania.

What? you said. Why didn’t you tell me when I was born?

You weren’t supposed to remember your former life for a long time, Malania explained. I knew from the moment you were born that you were one of my descendants.

You’re a Daam? You asked.

Not so loud, you wouldn’t want the wrong ears to hear this, Malania said. But yes, I am. I figured I’m your great-great-great-grand-mother or something like that.

How old are you? You enquired.

Four hundred and fifty-seven years old, she said. I had my only son after falling in the waves first.

You went back to Azkhapoor after turning into a sister? You replied.

Yes, I did, she admitted, a smile on her lips. From water we came and to water we all return one day.

           Your family saying took all its sense as Malania sang the words. Of course this was a mermaid saying.

I don’t want to interrupt on your reunion, Lyana said, but time’s running out. The man won’t live for a long time still and we need to get you to the ground before he does.

You’re coming with me? you enquired.

No, we’re too old for the trip, admitted Lyana. Laylavia will give you the reverse Kiss.

Be careful not to touch water before you’re ready to come back, Malania warned you. The moment you’ll touch the salty waters of the Mermaid Sea again you’ll turn back into a sister and for good this time.

I’ll be careful, you promised.

           On that note you said goodbye to the two Ancients, thanking them for everything. You promised to Malania that you would be back long before she’ll die and then you made your way back to your quarters. You found the man sitting on the ground, his head in his hands. He raised his head to look at you when you entered and you noticed the bubbles had gotten smaller while you were gone.

We’re going, you told him. Back to the ground.

To the North? He enquired.

           You nodded.

Come, you ordered.

           Then you realized that he couldn’t swim as easily as you.

I forgot you don’t have a tail, I apologize, you said.

           You swam to him, holding out your hand for him to take. He hesitated for a moment, but then he grabbed it. Electricity flowed through your system and your heart skipped a beat.

Hold on tight, you indicated him.

I’ll try, he said.

           You then swam out of your room, not even looking back once. You would be back someday but not until the war was stopped.

           You swam out of the Palace and found Laylavia already waiting for you, along with Flyhsporyk and Makeliak, two sea serpents. One was red and gold and the other was dark as obsidian.

Are you ready? Asked Laylavia.

Yes, you affirmed.

Then hold on to Makeliak, he’ll bring you back to the ground, she explained.

           You swam to the darkest serpent and you sensed that he was still half wild.

That one isn’t ready yet, you said. Isn’t there any other sea serpent that I could ride?

No, Laylavia said. It’s him or you’re never going back to the ground.

           You looked at the man and knew better than to argue with your shoal leader. Time was running out.

Be gentle, you told the sea serpent and it only, closing your mind to the man and Laylavia.

           The beast looked at you with its red eyes glowing with a fury you had never seen. It then closed its eyes slowly, indicating to you that it had heard you. You hoped it was going to listen to you and not to whatever Laylavia had told it.

           You swam behind it, bringing the man with you. The water started to taste like fear. Man’s fear.

Don’t worry, you told the man. Makeliak is going to be gentle with us.

That beast will kill us I swear, the man said as he tried to get out of your grip. One of them broke the ship.

Because we told it to do it, you explained. It won’t hurt us unless someone tells it to do so.

           You exchanged a long look with the man, until he finally gave in and accepted to ride the sea serpent. You grabbed the handles of the saddle that had been put on the sea serpent. You understood its fury at that moment: it didn’t like wearing a saddle.

Wrap your arms around me, you told the man. And don’t let go, sea serpents are fast swimmer and we’d lose you.

           Before the man could reply, Makeliak started swimming and even you almost thought you were going to die. You could hear the man screaming in the water, using his human voice. It almost made you laugh, but you knew better than to laugh right now.

           It was your first time riding a sea serpent and you had never gone as fast as you were going at the moment. You could see Laylavia and Flyhsporyk on your left, a little behind you.

           Klyapolis was situated around the middle of the sea. Sea serpents were the fastest swimmers in the entire world but you knew that time would probably run out before you’d get to the coast.

           You decided to do something forbidden, something you had already done twice. You opened your mind to both of the sea serpents.

Go faster, you ordered them.

           Makeliak jumped forward as he doubled up and Flyhsporyk followed suit.

You don’t have the right to talk to the serpents, Laylavia said as Flyhsporyk accelerated to be by your side.

We need to go faster, you explained. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to talk to them.

Since you’re going back to the ground, I’ll forgive you just this once, Laylavia said. But as soon as you’ll be back, you’ll face the consequences of your acts.

           You didn’t care. Not one bit. You hoped that she was going to be dead before you’d be back though. You’d have a new shoal and your shoal would protect you.

           The serpents arrived to the coast hours later. You looked over your shoulder to notice the tiny bubbles under the man’s nose.

He’s going to drown soon, you said. We need to hurry.

Follow me, Laylavia said.

           You let go of Makeliak and started swimming away, holding the man by the hand again.

You’re going to tear my arm from my body if you continue like this, complained the man.

           You ignored him and only looked at him over your shoulder. That’s when you noticed Makeliak was about to attack you.

           With a swish of your tail, you got out of the way of the sea serpent. You cursed yourself mentally: you had forgotten your trident in your chambers.

Stay behind me, you ordered to the man. Laylavia! You screamed as you watched your shoal leader swimming away.

You shouldn’t have talked to the serpents, she said as she turned around. I won’t give you back your Human life.

They’ll kill you for this, you said.

           You turned your mind toward Flyhsporyk and Makeliak, but the second one’s mind was closed.

Flyhsporyk, defend me! you ordered. And tell the Ancients about this.

           You stayed in his mind to make sure Laylavia wouldn’t be able to talk to him again.

           Makeliak was a young sea serpent. He was fast, yes, and held the fury of the world inside of him, but he wasn’t as experienced as Flyhsporyk. The only thing you feared for the red and gold serpent was that the poison of the black one was going to get the best of him.

           The serpents fought and soon enough the water started turning red. This was bad, real bad.

Stop! Laylavia shouted. Sharks will come!

Then tell Makeliak to stop and let me be Human again! You said.

           Laylavia hissed and shrieked as she swam towards you. You swam to her and your bodies collided so hard your mind let go of Flyshporyk. But that meant hers had let go of Makeliak too. You quickly reached for the two serpents’ minds and indicated to them to stop fighting. They did, both of them not wanting to fight one of their species.

I’ll murder you and your precious man, shrieked Laylavia.

And how will you? you enquired as you swam around her. We’re both unarmed and I have the control of two sea serpents.

           You saw all of Laylavia’s determination disappear in a fraction of a second as a white shark swam underneath you. You quickly told the sea serpents to protect the man.

Tell the serpents to protect us from the shark, Laylavia pleaded.

Only if you promise to give me back my Human form, you said.

           She hesitated. You saw it in her eyes. But when the shark circled around you again, she gave in.

Fine, Laylavia accepted.

Makeliak, keep the shark away, you ordered to the obsidian serpent.

           It obeyed and that’s when you noticed something in the distance. The man was choking. Drowning, in fact.

Flyhsporyk, bring the man to the surface, you ordered to the second sea serpent. And don’t hurt him.

           Flyhsporyk obeyed too and that left you with Laylavia.

I’ll kill you when you’ll come back, Laylavia said. But for now, follow me. We have to get closer to the ground.

            You followed her, indicating to Flyhsporyk to guide the man toward the ground too. You saw the coast appearing in the distance, a hill of sand that disappeared over the water.

Sister, we’ll wait for you, Laylavia spat.

Of course you will, you said.

           She swam towards you. You shot a look to the man, you could see him swimming towards the coast. He was going to make it, you were pretty sure of it.

You’ll need to swim to the coast, Laylavia said. I’m not going any closer.

I’ll swim, you said.

           You swam towards the surface, knowing you’d need the oxygen the minute you’d lose your gills. Laylavia followed you.

Flyhsporyk, help me to get to the ground once I’ll be a Human again, you ordered to the sea serpent.

           It swam to you, waiting for Laylavia to do the deed. You didn’t know if you were going to lose the control of the sea serpent once you’d be human again. You guessed it would take a couple of seconds, just like the Transformation would. Your survival relied on that.

           Laylavia put her hands over your gills and you looked at her.

You’ll be born from water, she began, but water will wait for you to come back.

           She then leaned in and pressed her lips against yours. She inspired and then bit your bottom lips with her fangs. The poison entered your body as you just waited for the Transformation to begin.

           Laylavia let go of you and swam away. The Transformation began and pain shot through your body. You wanted to scream, but you had to swim. You had to get to the ground.

           Flyhsporyk helped you for a moment. But he stayed under the water and your lungs started burning. You wanted to use your tail to get to the surface but then you realized you only had legs. You knew better than to inspire some water though. Your gills had already disappeared.

           Your eyes started burning too but Flyhsporyk finally let go of you. You weren’t so far from the ground but too far to make it.

           You swam to the surface and inspired for the first time. You had expected it to hurt but it only lessened the burning in your lungs. You stopped swimming for a moment, enjoying the warmth of the sun against your face. You hadn’t realised it before but the water was extremely cold. Colder than it had been the day of the storm.

           You started swimming to the ground but you realized you were slow. Too slow. You weren’t going to make it. All of this was for nothing.

           As you got closer, the waves got stronger. You tried to let them guide you to the ground but one of them fell on your head and you swallowed water as you tumbled around underneath the surface. You tried to fight it and to get back to the surface but you swam in the wrong direction. Your head hit something and your vision blurred. Somehow you found the surface and was able to breathe in a little, but it didn’t take you long to be down under again and to swallow some water again.

           You were drowning. Simple as that. You weren’t going to reach the coast. You tried to stay strong and to swim, but your body had lost its strength. Your head started spinning and suddenly you weren’t able to move at all anymore.

           Your vision blurred again, a little too much and the last thing you saw before losing consciousness was a human hand grabbing your wrist.

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           Harrison sat down at the table where the other Northerners were currently eating a mutton stew, a rare meal in the South. Ha had gotten used to eating fish during all the years he had spent in Azkapoor and to eat something else was still a bit weird to him. At the same time, it reminded him of his childhood and each day he grew more restless at the thought of getting back to where he belonged. Right now he didn’t know if that was by your side or in the North… but the North was getting more appealing every day.

“I say we join the army”, Lord Pettyfer suggested for the third time that day. “We’d be of more use on the inside.”

“What if somebody recognises us?” Lord Joysner replied. “We’d be of no use dead.”

“We’ll be of no use here anyway”, Lord Pettyfer insisted. “The North needs us and if we can help them from this side of the Gate…”

“They know Harrison a tad too well”, Lady Ollister said. “This won’t work. And the Southerners won’t accept a woman in their ranks.”

“You two can stay here then”, Lord Pettyfer said. “I don’t want to wait for death to come get me here, I’m going.”

           Most of the other Northerners agreed with him. They wanted to fight and infiltrating the Southerner’s army would give them an advantage that could be useful in this war. Harrison wanted to go too. He knew it was dangerous and probably a lot more for him but if they pretended to be common people he didn’t have to worry about a thing. They’d be put on the first line if a battle ever came and they’d just have to turn around and fight the true enemy instead.

           This could also be a way to prove to everyone that he was a true Northerner and not a Southerner’s puppet. He was sick of his own people thinking he was just some kind of traitor awaiting the moment to stab them in the back. If this could prove where his true allegiance was, then he was going to do it.

“I’d like to come with you too”, Harrison said. “And before you say you don’t need me, let me tell you this: I know the weaknesses of every men that ever was at court. I’m really observant and sometimes it pays.”

“Is that really useful?” Lord Pettyfer asked.

“You tell me”, Harrison answered. “I can tell you for sure that Lord Talenta’s obsessed with killing and that he should be your first target if you were to murder someone. Lord Blackfyre should be a close second target. He’s always with the king and he’s his most important counsellor.”

“King Faylios would be mad to bring his right hand with him”, Lady Ollister said. “He needs someone to rule the South while he’s off to conquer the North…”

“Or die trying”, interjected Lord Joysner.

“Or die trying”, Lady Ollister repeated. “I don’t think we have to fear his presence with the king.”

“You may be right”, Harrison admitted. “I’m just saying I know where to hit and who to hit first if that ever may be of use.”

“It could be”, Lord Pettyfer said. “But what tells us you wouldn’t just betray us?”

“I’m a Northerner”, Harrison said. “I was born a Northerner and I want to die a Northerner. My family is an old family in Londir…”

“The Osterfields lost all credibility when your father…” started Lord Joysner.

“I was talking about my mother’s house”, Harrison said. “Not my father’s. My father wasn’t an Osterfield. And that’s the point. I want to bring my family’s honour back.”

Lord Pettyfer chuckled. “You’re the last Osterfield. I can see why you would want to do that. You can come if you want to but be aware that we’ll watch you. First sign of treachery and you’ll be six feet under.”

“Fair”, Harrison agreed. “But you don’t have to worry about this, I’m the sword that came from ice.”

Lady Ollister whistled. “I see someone still know his family’s saying.”

“I didn’t come from water”, Harrison said, “but from ice.”

“Down here the sun’s probably melted you”, Lord Joysner jested.

           Harrison shook his head, chuckling lightly with the other Northerners. It felt great to have said that. Although his thoughts tended to get back to you, his heart was somewhere else. He wanted to be a Northerner, he wanted to be the sword that came from ice.

           Perhaps if you would have been there, he wouldn’t have been thinking this. He would have been too caught up in your eyes to even remember his origins but now he did and they were calling for him.

           Harrison wasn’t prepared for what was to come. He wanted to be a hero but common people weren’t heroes. Since they were pretending to be some, the Northerners always ate their meal last as they made the journey from Meryndel to Lylas. They didn’t have tents to sleep in and they were always far from the head of the column, where their targets were.

           There were three of them. Lord Talenta, Lord Krysko and the king himself. Harrison didn’t believe that killing the king was a good idea but killing the head of the army could be a good idea. Both of the men were far from here though, already in Lylas.

           Lord Krysko was the envoy sent by the king to bring words of the war to Meryndel. The king had been wise enough not to send a bird and the man had been slow enough not to get caught by the Northerners. This was a problem though: the Garelns knew that the Northerners had gone to Meryndel.

           They were long gone from the city when they had heard this. Harrison had been worried about Lady Ollister, who had stayed behind when they had left, but he knew that the woman could protect herself. He was more worried about the third group, which contained the rest of the noblewomen, all of whom couldn’t defend themselves. Lady Ollister had promised to take care of them though, so really there was no reason to worry.

           Traveling with a whole army was much longer than with a smaller group, Harrison realized on the third week of walking. The men were starting to get tired and there were more quarrels each day. He tried to stay away from them though and at the same time tried to gain the officers’ trust. If he wanted to get close enough to murder Krysko, he had to be invited to his tent at some point.

           He had decided to do the deed himself on the second week. There was no other way to gain the Northerners’ trust. So every day Harrison tried to be the perfect little soldier, offering to help whenever he could.

           That gained him a great reputation amongst the commoners and soon enough he was named second to Officer Kravinzhy, who was at the head of the commoners. But right now, Harrison was sitting next to the fire with a group of Southerners.

“We all wish to accomplish great things in this war”, was saying Jamesh, a seasoned warrior.

           Seasoned because this wasn’t his first war. He had been part of the first conquest of King Faylios a decade ago.

“All I want to do is to be able to fuck someone else than my wife for a little while”, he jested and the men around the fire erupted with laughter.

           That Harrison couldn’t get used to. The commoners had a way of acting that seemed completely vulgar to him. It made him feel uneasy, especially when they made jests about killing the Northerners’ prince and then fucking the princess in front of his dead eyes. At least, Harrison knew you were safe somewhere on the Mermaid Sea, if that could actually be called safe.

“Only the nobles can fuck the camp followers, Jamesh, keep dreaming”, another man replied.

“That’s what I do at night, when the redhead is sucking me”, Jamesh replied which again caused an eruption of laughter around the fire.

           Harrison shook his head, getting up from his place.

“Where you goin’, pretty boy?” Jamesh asked.

“Takin’ a piss”, Harrison answered as he walked away.

           He walked aimlessly for a moment, until he heard a scream somewhere on his left. He ran to the sound only to see none other than Lord Krysko dragging a redheaded camp follower by the hair.

“Excuse me, m’lord”, Harrison said. “What are you doing?”

“Shut the fuck up, you commoner”, Krysko spatted, his words slurred by his visibly drunken state. “I’m going to fuck that bitch back in my tent. Wanna join?”

           Harrison just stood there for a moment, trying to figure what was going on.

“An handsome lad like should know better than to say no to a lord”, Krysko added as the silence got longer.

“M’lord, I don’t…” Harrison started.

“You don’t bed men?” Krysko asked. “When I was your age I didn’t either but then I realized that sex is much more than fucking a cunt.”

           The girl tried to get out of his grip and he slapped her roughly.

“You coming or not?” Krysko repeated.

           Harrison had two choices: kill the man right now or kill him when they’ll be in the tent. The first option seemed better but there would be witnesses.

           At the same time, Harrison couldn’t believe that Krysko didn’t recognise him. Especially since they had been at court together more than once.

“Let go of me”, the redhead cried as she hit Krysko in the crotch.

           The man let go of her and she crawled away from him as he fell to the ground, his hands on his crotch.

“You fucking cunt, I’ll have your head for this”, he spat.

“You won’t”, Harrison interjected. “You should know better than to put your hands on a lady.”

“She’s no lady, she’s a whore”, Lord Krysko said as Harrison walked closer to him. “Who are you to tell me this?”

           Harrison put his hand on the hilt of his sword as he scanned his surroundings. Apart from the girl, there was no one around.

“I’m the ice come to tear your heart apart”, he said as he unsheathed his sword.

           Lord Krysko didn’t have the time to react or was way too drunk to do something about it. Harrison thrusted his sword in the man’s heart and he died without having done a thing to defend himself. Adrenaline streamed in Harrison’s system and for a moment he felt powerful.

“You killed him”, the girl shrieked.

           Harrison quickly took his sword out of Lord Krysko’s heart. He wiped the blade clean on Lord Krysko’s linen shirt, which was quickly turning a darker shade of brown before putting it back in its scabbard.

“Shhh”, he said to the girl.

           He walked to her and grabbed her by the arm.

“Let’s get away from here before someone sees us”, he whispered.

           The girl didn’t resist as he pulled her as far from the body as possible. They crossed half the camp before Harrison felt safe enough to stop.

“I saved you from getting raped”, he told the girl.

“Why did you do this?” she asked with a shaky voice.

           Harrison realized that she was about to cry and suddenly the adrenaline left his system. He felt extremely tired all of a sudden and especially horrified about what he had just done. He had killed a man without even hesitating.

“To save you from getting raped”, he answered, matter-of-factly. “You should be thanking me.”

“Lord Krysko was an important man”, the girl said as tears started streaming down her face. “You shouldn’t have killed him.”

“You’ll need to stay silent about this”, Harrison whisper-shouted. “We wouldn’t want me getting caught.”

“Why’s that?” she asked. “You’re a murderer.”

“Because I’ll tell them that you told me to do it because you didn’t want Krysko’s dirty little hands on you again”, Harrison said. “They’ll hang you for this.”

“They won’t believe you”, she said, but she seemed defeated. “You’re just a commoner.”

“More than that I’m a man”, Harrison said. “My words would weigh more than yours.”

           The girl lowered her head as a couple of tears slipped on her cheeks.

“I saved you from getting raped”, Harrison repeated as he was trying to convince himself that he had done the right thing. “Now, you should get as far from here as possible.”

           With his free hand he reached for the hidden pocket inside of his shirt. He took a gold coin from it and then put it in the girl’s hand.

“This will pay for whatever you need as you make your way back to Meryndel”, he said. “If people ask you question, say that you met a rich man who asked you to wait for him at the Red Apple Inn.”

           The girl’s eyes were round as she looked at the gold coin in her hands as if it was the first time she had seen one. It took Harrison a moment to realize it probably was.

“Thank you”, the girl said. “Don’t you want anything from me?”

           Harrison looked up and down her frame. He could see her curves through her stained silk dress, but he looked away. He didn’t sleep with whores. Hell, he didn’t sleep with anybody, a whore wouldn’t be his first.

“Only your silence, my lady”, he replied politely.

“Then my silence you’ll have”, she said before kissing him on the cheek and running away.

           Harrison just stared at her until she disappeared out of view. He hesitated to walk back to the fire where the other men were. He looked around him, noticing a few men nodding approvingly to him. That’s when he realized that they thought he probably slept with the girl before sending her away. An alibi. Great. He hadn’t thought about this at first.

           Murder. Murderer. Harrison had never thought he had it in him to kill someone. Especially not so easily. Without a single doubt, he had thrusted his sword in the man’s heart. Whether he had done it for the North or for the sake of the girl, he didn’t know, but the result was the same. A man had died tonight and he had died because of him.

           Harrison knew of a million ways that this could have gone wrong. Somebody could have seen him killing Krysko, somebody could have connected the dots between him being with Krysko’s personal whore and the lord dying, but nobody did. Nobody thought a commoner would murder Lord Krysko.

           When they found the body the next morning, Harrison expected someone to come to him, but nobody did. Quarrels happened a lot lately and everybody said it only was another one of those that resulted into Lord Krysko’s death. That’s when Harrison realized the man wasn’t actually liked. People called him a man fucker and they spat on his corpse instead of giving his body back to water, of burning it or of burying it.

           It didn’t make it easier. The first few days Harrison felt like a monster and more than once he looked at his reflection on his blade, wondering if he should just thrust it into his own stomach and be done with it.

           That’s when Lord Pettyfer found him and patted him on the shoulder.

“I never expected you had it in you, son”, he said.

“What?” Harrison asked. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve talked to everybody else”, Lord Pettyfer explained. “Are you telling me a Southerner killed Lord Krysko?”

Harrison shook his head. “I didn’t know I had it in me either, if I’m being honest”, he whispered.

“Son, you’ve proven yourself”, Lord Pettyfer said. “I swear it to the gods that I’m going to make sure you are recognised for what you have done when we’ll be back in Londir.”

“Recognised as a murderer?” Harrison muttered.

“No”, Lord Pettyfer shook his head. “As someone who knew what to do in times of crisis to help his people.”

           The lord walked away from Harrison then and Harrison wondered if he was supposed to feel better. Maybe. Probably. Had murder really brought back the honor of his family so easily?

           For the first time in weeks his thoughts went back to you. He imagined the look of horror on your face if you were ever to learn about what he had done and he felt sick. In a matter of weeks he had turned into a monster.

           Someone patted him on the shoulder, which startled him. Harrison spun around, his hand on the hilt of his sword. It was only Lord Joysner.

“Good job”, the man said. “I would have been more subtle if I had been you, but the result would have been the same.”

“What would you have done?” Harrison asked.

“Poison”, Lord Joysner said. “A small blade between the ribs or poison in one of his meals.”

“You’re an Assassin”, Harrison realized.

           The Assassins were a secret order up North. They were at the service of the crown and they eliminated the enemies of the crown when they were asked to. There were always two Assassins training at the same time and never more than two real Assassins alive. At the top of the order was the Master Assassin.

Lord Joysner chuckled. “King Dominic figured it was a good idea to send his Master Assassin with his son. To protect him or to help him if ever came the need to. And it did. But you were quicker.”

“Does it ever become easier?” Harrison asked.

“Killing people?” Lord Joysner asked. “Thrusting a sword into one’s heart never get easier. Poisoning a meal and disappearing in the night is easier. Cleaner, if I’m being honest.”

Harrison sighed deeply. “I did what had to be done.”

“Indeed, you did”, Lord Joysner approved. “You could learn how to give the gift of death if ever you would want to.”

“Me?” Harrison asked. “Why would you choose me as an apprentice?”

Lord Joysner chuckled. “You’re nobody. You’re a hostage, half of the North doesn’t know who you are, the other half despises you. Being an Assassin would give you the opportunity to be whoever you want. Right now, I’m Lord Joysner but back in Londir I’m nobody. The true Lord Joysner is still in his castle in the Snow Valley. I was born a commoner and I climbed the ladder up to being the Master Assassin. You could do too.”

          Harrison stayed silent as his mind ran a mile per hour in his head. Would being an Assassin be a good idea?

“The Assassins are the most respected order in the North”, Lord Joysner added. “I’ll let you think about it.”

           The man turned around and started walking in the other direction.

“Wait!” Harrison exclaimed. Lord Joysner turned around. “I’m in.”

           A small smile formed on Lord Joysner’s lips.

“Tomorrow, at dawn”, he said. “You know where to find me.”

 -

             Tom stared at the wall of the cabin. The lights were flickering, but not as much as during the storm. The storm had come and gone in a few hours and now all that was left to do was to watch the cabin wall, hoping that nothing had happened during the storm. Hoping that you would walk right back in as if nothing had happened.

           You were gone, most certainly dead. They had thrown you overboard in the middle of the storm and you had been swallowed by the waves. Tom had tried to run after you, but then two pirates had stopped him. He had tried fighting them but all his strength had left him the moment he had seen you dying.

           He didn’t know how long it had been since the storm. He was just watching the same wooden wall, hoping things would change. How could the gods be so cruel as to take you from him already? And how could he stop the war now that you were gone?

           There was a noise at the cabin’s door and the captain walked in. Tom glanced at him.

“Storm coming back”, the captain said. “Gods mad. Who are you?”

           Tom’s eyes trailed back to the cabin wall. So sacrificing you had been useless.

“Who are you?” repeated the captain as Tom stayed silent.

“You know who I am already,” Tom eventually exploded. “And you’ve killed the only person who could have stopped the war.”

“War?” asked the man.

“Between the North and the South”, Tom explained.

“You trouble”, the captain growled.

           At the same moment there was a loud bang outside of the cabin. Men screamed and then the ship was shaken as if a giant was playing with it. The captain ran out of the cabin and Tom followed. Nothing could have prepared him to the sight.

           A sea serpent was currently on the deck of the cog, which was sinking quickly. Tom figured that there was a hole in the hull of the ship probably caused by the loud noise earlier.

           Before he could do something, the sea serpent moved and Tom was jerked forward. His head hit the ship’s rail and his body went limp. He lied there for a moment, trying to clear his mind from the fog that was slowly creeping in.

           The sea serpent tightened its grip around the cog and suddenly it broke in two. Tom couldn’t do nothing to stop himself from rolling towards the beast. He tried to hold on to the rail but he couldn’t get a hold of it and soon enough he dove into the water.

           There was a flash of green and blue as the sea serpent swam away. Tom swam to the surface only to see a couple of men holding on to the fragments of the ship. He swam towards them but then one of the men disappeared under water. As if something had pulled him down.

           Tom frantically tried to reach some debris, but then another men disappeared. He looked underneath himself and could see something moving quickly in the water. Tom felt something gripping his ankle and suddenly he was pulled underwater too.

           He tried to fight and swim back to the surface but it was impossible. The thing holding him was stronger and was going deeper and deeper into the water.

           The pressure was getting awful and Tom felt his lungs burning. He looked down to the thing, which was looking back at him. His heart stopped in his chest at the sight of the ghost under him.

 -

           There was blood in the water. And meat. Your fangs were already secreting poison. You swam around, holding your trident tight. You would have to fight to get your food.

           You saw two of your sisters right beneath the surface. They were pulling their food under the water. You decided to do as they did, since they had been born long before you.

Father, give me the food I need, you prayed.

           You saw some legs over your head. An easy target. You swished your silvery tail and swam toward the surface.

           You had been born a few hours before, maybe a day or two. You didn’t remember much before the Kiss. Only some eyes. They were haunting you when you closed your own eyes but apart from that everything was gone.

           Your sisters were singing all around you and you joined them. A few hours ago they had told you a feast was going to be held, when Jhyscarios would be ready. The sea serpent had guided you out of the palace and to the oval overhead, which apparently was full of food.

           You were glad for it: the fish you had killed earlier had tasted vaguely like something else, something disgusting. You had barely been able to keep it down, but your sisters had claimed you one of theirs and it was time to celebrate.

           Men. They said men had killed your first incarnation. But now you were reborn and seeking vengeance.

           You grabbed the ankle of the man swimming over your head and then pulled him under the water. You had to let him drown before you ate him, they said the meat tasted better.

           Your fangs ached in your mouth. You couldn’t wait to bite into the flesh. You were hungry, so hungry you wondered if you should drown another man too. One of your sister swam towards you.

Mine.

          You held your trident in front of you, protecting your meal. She tried to attack you and before you even thought about it you threw your trident in her direction. She hissed and swam out of its trajectory and then she swam away.

           You followed your trident and caught it before stopping. You were deep enough. You raised your head. The man was surrounded by a white halo caused by the light over the water. You noticed he was looking down on you. You could tell he was slowly losing strength. But then your gaze met his gaze and there was a flash in your mind. The sound of some breathing, some words whispered against your skin, the taste of a kiss, a kiss before the Kiss.

           His brown eyes were looking down on you and he seemed scared. And suddenly you realized he was going to die and it would be because of you. How could you eat someone if they were looking at you like that?

           A swish of your tail and you were swimming back to the surface. One of your sisters looked at you curiously but you didn’t stop. The man needed oxygen, that’s why they never went under water. If you gave him oxygen maybe he wouldn’t die.

           Your head pierced the surface of the water and it burned you. You screamed but then you heard him breathing and it was all you needed to hear. You plunged your head in the water again and noticed your sisters swimming in your direction.

Not this one, you told them.

He’s a man, Laylavia said. Men are food.

Not. This. One, you repeated.

           You noticed the sea serpent swimming towards you and you let go of the man’s ankle. He swam a little with his useless legs and you noticed him looking in the water.

           You gripped your trident with both of your hands as your sisters formed a circle underneath you.

Fight Jhyscarios, then, Laylavia said.

           She was the leader of the shoal. She was the only one who could give the Kiss. You were alive because of her.

           You knew the laws. When you had gotten born, all five of the laws had been imprinted in your mind.

Number one: never defy the leader of the shoal.

Number two: only the leader of the shoal can give the Kiss.

Number three: the shoal is the only family.

Number four: only the leader of the shoal can control the sea serpents.

Number five: man are food. Only food.

           There were ways to go around the rules. If you broke the first one and won, you became the shoal’s leader. Every sister could technically give the kiss. Some sisters remembered their old life and decided to get back to their true family. Every sister could speak to the serpents, it was up to them to listen if they wanted to. Last but not least, some men were kept. For amusement. But to be able to keep a man you had to defeat a serpent. Few dared to defeat a serpent and fewer got out of it alive.

           You swam around the sea serpent as it created a cloak of poison around its head. You had to be careful not to swim in the contaminated water. The serpent plunged forward and with a strong swish of your tail you got out of the way. You avoided the cloak of poison and then turned around to see the serpent moving down. You followed it carefully, waiting for it to turn around. When it did, your trident was ready.

Help me, you told the serpent as it swam towards you.

           The serpent opened its jaws and you saw the rows of fangs in its mouth. A single bite and you would die. You didn’t move and waited for it. Once the serpent was close enough you put your trident in front of you and thrusted it in the upper jaw of the serpent.

           The momentum of the creature sent you swimming back a few meters, but eventually it stopped. You let go of the trident and swam around to look at your sisters.

           They were shocked. You could tell by the looks on their face. Nobody had ever killed a serpent so fast, especially not a new born. You knew because of the memories of Laylavia. They had been transferred to you when you had been born.

I’m keeping him, you told your sisters.

           Laylavia swam towards you.

Men can’t survive the kiss for more than a day, she told you. He will die eventually and then we’ll feast on his body.

           At least you could keep him for a day. You swam to him, careful not to put your head out of the water. You gently grabbed his hand. It was shaking, that you could tell. You pulled him under the water and he tried to fight it. You were way stronger than him though. You grabbed his face and closed your eyes. You put your lips on his and kissed him softly. He melted into you but then your poison filled his mouth and he started to fight. His body eventually went limp.

           You looked at him curiously.

Is he dead? you asked.

He’ll be sleeping for the first few hours, Laylavia said. Then he’ll wake for the rest and he’ll eventually drown.

           Somehow this scared you. More than that, it terrified you. The thought of that man dying terrified you more than anything. You carefully grabbed his hand as your sisters started to swim toward the bottom of the sea, towards Klyapolis.

           The swim wasn’t long, not even an hour. The hardest part was the dark space between the surface and the city, where there wasn’t any light. You could barely see anything, you had to rely on the sixth sense that had come when you had been born. You just had to close your eyes and sing. When you sang, you could see all around you. You could feel where there were obstacles and the general direction of the city.

           When you reached the city, you directly went to the palace, to find the room they had given to you. There were crystals in the walls and they were lighting up the whole palace.

           You put the man in your room and then swam around him for a moment. It was weird: he didn’t have a tail, only two useless legs. As you looked at him, you remembered why he had legs. To walk. In the upper world people didn’t swim around, they walked.

           You had only been born for a day or two and here you were being intrigued by the upper world. It was something that had been taken from you. That world. And a part of you belonged up there. You knew it now that you were swimming with the man.

           You stopped swimming around for a moment, sinking to the sandy floor. You cleaned your silver and purple scales with the brush your sisters had given you as you thought.

           Why was the man on the oval? And why had you been on it? You felt as if it was important, but you couldn’t quite remember why. Were 24 hours enough for you to remember it?

           You swam back to the man and put a hand on his cheek. He didn’t move but his skin was warm underneath your touch. You pulled him toward you and then let gravity pull you to the ground. You laid him on the ground and then brushed your hand through his hair. It was soft under your fingertips and suddenly another memory came back. You were dancing underneath the moonlight.

           Who was that man? He was something to you, now you were slowly remembering. But what? What was he?

           You sighed deeply. As long as he didn’t open his eyes you wouldn’t know what was going on. And who he was. So you stayed next to him, waiting for him to wake. You ate some oysters as you waited, along with a variety of algae growing in the greenhouse under the castle.

           Klyapolis had been built a thousand of years before men even walked the earth. Back then, mermaids and mermen swam the Mermaid Sea and the Emerald Sea all the way up to the Ice Ocean. Mermaids and mermen cohabited in harmony and they leaded the world. The Storm came then and a few mermaids and mermen, curious about what was in the world above, had disappeared.

           It took years and years for them to reappear but when they did they didn’t have a tail anymore. They were on boats and they walked and you called them the Walkers. Humans they were actually. Nobody knew if they actually were the lost mermaids and mermen.

           Years of tension started. The War started eventually, when the mermen started to blame to mermaids for the disappearance of the lost mermaids and mermen. They said the mermaids knew they could transform into Humans and they had tricked the mermen into following them so they could conquer the ground.

           The mermen had a disadvantage in the war: the sea serpents couldn’t hear their singing. So when the mermaids came with the sea serpents, the mermen couldn’t nothing. They were exterminated up to the last one. The Dark Age started.

           The mermaids had a long life expectancy. The oldest ones were over five hundred years old and they were called the Ancients. They had been young when the war had happened and they were the ones who made the laws. The shoal’s leaders had to obey to them.

           Eventually, the mermaids started attacking ships with the help of their loyal sea serpents. They started to feast on Human’s flesh, on man’s flesh as a consequence of the war. Shark attacks began around that time because the beasts were attracted by the smell of blood. Soon enough the mermaids realized their numbers were lower as mermaids died of old age or of shark attacks.

           That’s when a woman fell into the waters of the Mermaid Sea. The first shoal leader, Klya, gave the kiss to the woman and the transformation began. The mermaids realized that women could be transformed into mermaids again and that’s when the sisters appeared.

           Klya was killed by a shark when she was entering her fourth century. The sisters of her shoal built Klyapolis in her honour and the Ancients declared domicile in the palace, where most of the sisters lived too.

           Nowadays, most of the mermaids were sisters. Some of them had been born in the waves though, after a mermaid had used a man to have a child. If the child was a boy, he never lived long enough to see Klyapolis but if it was a girl, the baby had a tail and it was a mermaid.

           Men could receive the Kiss too. But the Kiss never induced the Transformation onto a man, which meant the mermen were a lost specie. But as you swam around the man in your room, you wondered if there was a way to induce the Transformation onto a man.

           The water around you started to smell like fear. The man was waking up. You put your hand on his chest, to stop him from moving. When his eyes opened you noticed they were covered by some kind of film, to protect his eyes from the salt of the water. He also had something like bubbles underneath his nose, something to help him breathe under the water. When the bubbles were going to pop, he would drown. You didn’t want that happening, not until you knew who he was and what he meant to you before you were reborn.

           The man’s eyes found yours and he tried to get away from you. It took him a couple of seconds to realize he was under the water. And not drowning. You noticed that he was moving his mouth. A curious sight.

You don’t have to be afraid, I won’t hurt you, you told him.

           He stopped fighting your grip and just stared at you blankly.

I’m Salia, you said. I was born two days ago.

           The man shook his head and you turned yours on the side curiously.

You can talk to me, you gently said. Use your mind.

           You didn’t actually know if he could. There was a reason why the mermen had never been able to speak to the serpents and that reason was because their mind’s voice was silent. Or so you thought.

What’s happening? asked a male voice in your head.

           So they could talk. You smiled gently, feeling your fangs piercing the skin of your lips.

I’ve given you the Kiss, you explained. You can be in Klyapolis for the next 24 hours. Probably more 22 now.

Y/N, the man said.

           You looked at him, wondering what he had just said.

Y/N, I don’t know what happened to you, he said. I thought you were dead.

I wasn’t, you answered. I was given birth.

You’re a mermaid now, the man stated.

I’m a sister, actually, you corrected him. I wasn’t born in the waves first. I was a Human but then I was giving birth and now I’m a sister.

No, the man refused. You’re Y/N, daughter to King Faylios. We were on our way to stop the war between the North and the South when there was a storm.

           Half of the words he had just said made no sense. You let go of him and swam around for a moment.

I don’t understand, you said. I’m Salia and I was born two days ago.

And before that you were Y/N, the man insisted.

Who are you? you asked him.

You don’t remember me? he inquired, seemingly hurt.

I don’t remember anything from before my Transformation, you admitted.

           The man sat and brushed a hand in his hair.

We need to go to the North, the man insisted. We were supposed to get wed to stop the war.

           Something in the corner of your mind told you he was right. It told you to listen to him, to remember who you were. But you were Salia now and nothing made sense.

You’re going to drown, you told him. And then we’ll feast on you. That’s what’s going to happen.

           With a swish of your tail, you swam away from the man. He tried to follow you but his legs were useless. You got out of your room and closed the door behind you. The man wasn’t strong enough to open it, so you knew he wouldn’t get out.

           You had to speak to the Ancients.

Read part nine here!

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           Their banner was a black skull on a bloody background. Bloody because you swore the fabric wasn’t supposed to be that shade. It looked like dried blood and just to look at it sent shivers down your spine.

“They’re our only hope”, Carlson stated. “All the others have refused more than once to give us safe passage to the North.”

           You grabbed Tom by the arm and pulled him aside.

“Tom, we don’t have a choice”, you told him. “I don’t like them either but by the look of them, they are pirates. And only pirates will accept to sail the Mermaid Sea, you know it.”

“I have a bad feeling about them”, Tom explained. “Their ship looks half broken if I’m being honest and that banner of theirs is a frightful thing. We’re not boarding this ship.”

“What could happen?” you asked.

“For instance they could decide that murdering the prince of the North and the princess of the South is a good idea”, Tom said. “Or they could keep us both alive and sell us as slaves in the Golden Islands. They could also ask for a ransom to the kings. With the war coming they won’t be able to spare the gold to save us.”

“Listen, Tom”, you softly said. “I’m scared too. But if we pay them enough, I don’t see what could go wrong. We could offer them the Windy Isle.”

“The Windy Isle is a desolated place”, Tom stated.

“Desolated because pirates sacked it years ago”, you told him. “They could rebuild something on the island and make the place their den.”

“Y/N, this is even a worse idea”, Tom refused.

“We could tell them that if they stay in our grace they will receive gold each year”, you continued. “No need to plunder anymore.”

“Pirates always want more.”

“Then we’ll give them more”, you assured. “We can’t stay here any longer and you know it.”

“If we die…” Tom started.

“That’s on me”, you finished. “But if we don’t, we’ll save both of our kingdoms.” You walked back to the other men. “We’re going on the pirate galley.”

           The men followed you as you leaded the way toward the galley. The docks were crowded and more than once you had to step aside to let a litter or a fishmonger’s cart pass. Tom quickly joined you at the head of the men, a hand on the hilt of his sword to scare thieves away.

“You know people could attack you, princess”, he stated.

“They won’t”, you affirmed.

“And why is that?” the prince asked.

“I have six armed men behind me”, you explained. “And a dagger up my sleeve.”

           Tom had given you the dagger the day after you had arrived in Meryndel. He said that it was to make sure you were always safe. And it helped you to feel safer if you were being honest. Even though you had no clue how to use it.

“Most of thieves also have a dagger up their sleeves”, Tom said. “And most of them know how to use it.”

“I’m tired of depending on people, Tom”, you confessed. “I don’t want to always have to wait for people to protect me. The world can’t be so bad. Not everyone wants to kill or steal or rape.”

“That’s not what I’m saying”, Tom interjected. “You just have this way of moving that shows you are rich. I don’t know. It’s something in the way you walk with your head held high.”

“Are you saying people would attack me because I look rich?” you asked.

“Sums it up, yeah.”

“Then I’m lucky I have four knights, a lord and a prince with me”, you said as you stopped next to the galley.

           You scanned the docks in search of the captain of the ship. Your eyes stopped on a fat man all clad in dark blue silk.

“That’s our man”, you whispered to Tom.

“Let me do the talking”, Tom said.

           He walked toward the captain. He was just far enough to be out of earshot, so you watched the whole exchange, hoping that the captain was going to accept.

           A moment later, Tom walked back towards you.

“We have our ship”, he said. “Thing is, only me and the princess can get in.”

“No, that is not happening, prince Thomas”, Lord Pettyfer said. “We’ve all sworn to protect you when we left Londir. We have to be with you if we want to be able to protect you.”

“I know, I know”, Tom said. “But the captain doesn’t have the place for more than two people.”

“I don’t like it”, Lord Pettyfer said.

“It’s going to be just fine”, Tom reassured. “We’ll pay them with gold and precious stones. The captain asks for a lot but at least we know we’ll be fine.”

“You know he’ll probably only take the gold and kill you afterwards?” Carlson interjected.

“I told them that the payment will be awaiting us on the other side of the sea”, Tom said.

“There isn’t any payment on the other side”, Lord Pettyfer doubtfully said. “Don’t you think they’ll kill you for this?”

“We’ll figure something out”, Tom reassured. “He said it should take somewhere between a fortnight or a month to get there. Plenty of time to figure something out.”

“We’d just have to send a bird to Londir”, you suggested. “The king would most certainly send an envoy with the gold.”

“Perhaps you’re right”, Tom admitted. “We’ll give it a try.” He paused, glancing at the two sailors who were staring at you from the deck. “We’re boarding at first light tomorrow.”

           On that note the prince spun around, walking towards the other side of the docks where the inn in which you were staying was.

           You shot a look to your right as sailors hollered. You noticed their eyes were on you but they spoke a weird language. They were shirtless, but their skin were covered in dark tattoos which almost looked like spirals.

“Gods are good…” you whispered.

“You know them?” Carlson asked.

“No”, you said. “I’ve only heard stories of their people. What are they doing here?”

“Islanders”, Tom said. “They even trade with the North, princess.”

“I’m betrothed to their prince”, you stated. “Or was betrothed. Don’t they know about the war?”

           One of the sailors whistled and jumped on the dock. Another man whose skin was as dark as a moonless night followed him. Their hands were on the hilts of their scimitars and the looks on their faces were nothing good.

“Why are they coming our way?” you asked as Tom stood in front of you.

“Valas satharnas prinketh”, the first sailor spat.

           The sailors stopped a couple of feet away. The knights stood around you, their hands on the hilts of their swords.

“Who are you and what do you want?” Tom asked.

The men laughed.  “Dakhas nakhornah kloddeth”, the second man said. “Dunh kahlleas.”

“Does one of you speak Islandish?” you asked.

           The Northerners didn’t have the time to answer. The two sailors launched forward, unsheathing their scimitars at the same time. Carlson was killed as he jumped in front of the prince to protect him from the attack. You stood in shock as the fight unfolded around you. Well, the fight wasn’t so long. Tom slayed the man who had killed Carlson and Lord Pettyfer decapitated the other one with a single blow of his long sword.

“Best get out of here”, Tom said through ragged breath.

“What should we do with Carlson?” you asked.

“We leave the body here, princess”, Lord Pettyfer said. “We can’t risk getting caught by the guards.”

“But…” you started.

“Y/N, there’s nothing we can do”, Tom softly said.

           You shot a glance to the body lying in a pool of blood before looking back to the prince.

“Okay”, you whispered.

           You followed the men to the Red Horse Inn, keeping your head low. All you could picture was Carlson’s dead body and the fact that it could have been Tom. It could have been Tom. That single thought was one of the scariest you had ever had.

           When you got to the inn, the knights decided to stay in the common room but you felt sick and needed to be alone for a moment. Tom followed you up the wooden stairs.

“Princess”, he called you as you unlocked the door to your room.

“Thomas”, you said as you opened the door and walked in, the prince following after you.

“I’m sorry you had to witness that”, he apologized.

“It wasn’t your fault”, you stated.

           You exchanged a long look with the prince as you again thought Tom could have died.

“If it wasn’t for Carlson…” you started.

“It would have been me, I know”, the prince carefully said.

           You sat down on the bed after having put your dagger down on the night table. You hid your face in your hands as the adrenaline left you. You sighed shakily as tears formed in your eyes.

“Hey, it’s fine, princess”, Tom gently said as he sat down next to you.

“Nothing’s fine, Thomas”, you cried. “A month ago I was still home and everything was alright. Now the world has gone mad.”

“No, it hasn’t”, the prince insisted. “We’re on our way to stop a war.”

“And we’re risking to get killed every day”, you added.

“But that’s part of life”, Tom stated. “Everybody dies someday. You just have to make it all worthwhile while you’re still here. Remember, we’re doing this for our kingdoms.”

“I know”, you sighed. “I’m just scared. If you would have died today… nothing would have been able to stop the war.”

“But I didn’t”, Tom reminded you. “And tomorrow we will sail with the pirate ship and hopefully a month from now we will be wed in the White Church in Londir.”

           You weren’t really sure about this but you hoped the prince was right. If he wasn’t… then you didn’t know what would happen. Well, in fact you knew. You knew you were going to die in a helpless attempt to save your kingdom from a meaningless war.

“If things go wrong…” you started.

“They won’t”, Tom insisted. “The gods are on our side.”

“Are they really?” you asked, glancing at Tom.

He reached up to dry your cheek with one of his thumb. “They are, princess.”

           His hand lingered on your cheek as you got lost into the golden specks in his eyes. He slowly leaned in, barely pressing his lips against yours before pulling away. You put your hand over his before he moved it, your other hand finding the back of his neck to pull him closer. You kissed him as your heart skipped a beat in your chest. He could have died.

           The kiss got more heated as your lips moved together, the fire inside of you being awakened yet again. Because that’s what Tom was: a raging fire. And kissing him like that made the fire so much brighter.

           You lied down on the bed, pulling Tom closer. The prince hovered over you as you bit his lower lip. He pulled away and resisted when you tried to kiss him again.

“Princess”, he said with a low husky voice. “We can’t do this.”

“We can’t kiss?” you asked. “In a month we shall be wedded. Husband and wife can kiss all they want.”

“But we aren’t yet”, he insisted.

“You could have died”, you whispered.

“I didn’t, I’m still here.”

You held his gaze for a moment and this time he didn’t resist as you pulled him closer. He kissed you, carefully, but the fire in you wasn’t one to be tamed. Your tongue danced on his lower lip before it found his.

Suddenly, it was as if Tom had been struck by lightning. He was electrified by the way your lips moved against his and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop. So he kissed you back, the electricity flowing freely in his bloodstream.

The prince left your mouth to leave a trail of hot kisses along your jawline. He kissed your neck, sucking on the skin. Your hand tugged at his curls and he raised his head as you crashed your lips against his.

Tom put one of his hand behind your knee to wrap your leg around his waist as his hips grinded against yours. You could feel his arousal against you and that’s when you knew you wouldn’t be able to stop. Not this time. You had wanted this to happen ever since that night in the woods and now it was too late to stop.

Tom sat in bed, his hands fumbling with his breeches. You sat up too, helping him to unlace his breeches. He took off his linen shirt and then got up to take his trousers off after having undone his sword belt. Suddenly, he was standing right there in front of you, naked, and you felt heat rushing to your cheeks.

“I’ll need your help to get this dress off”, you said.

Tom nodded his head as you got up. He unlaced your dress, kissing your neck as he did so. He took the dress off of your shoulders and let it fall to the ground. His lips connected with the skin of your shoulder and he sucked on it. You moaned softly.

Tom made you turn around, taking in the sight of your naked body. You felt shy under his stare but when his eyes got back to yours you knew you had no reason to worry.

“You are beautiful”, he whispered.

           You blushed as he pulled you towards the bed. You lied down on the mattress as he climbed on top of you. You wrapped your legs around his waist as you kissed him with all the passion in your heart.

           Although you should have been scared, you felt at peace right now. You were going to lose your maidenhead, but you would lose it to someone you loved. And although it mattered that you keep your maidenhead until the wedding, nothing could stop you right now.

           Your nails dig into the skin of his shoulders as the prince thrusted in and pain shot through your body. Tom raised his head from the crook of your neck.

“Are you alright?” he gently asked.

“I am”, you answered through ragged breath. “More painful than I expected it to be.”

“We can stop”, the prince whispered.

“Don’t”, you refused. “Just go slow.”

           And he did. Eventually the pain died down and you were able to actually enjoy the moment. Tom started moving faster and you let out a moan. His lips found yours again and he kissed you gently.

“I won’t last long”, Tom whispered against your lips.

           You only kissed him with all the fire in your heart in response. Soon enough, Tom stopped moving as he let out a breath and spilled his seed inside of you. You kissed him for a long time before Tom rolled over to lie beside you.

           You felt more alive than you had ever been in your life. You looked around you and although the room hadn’t changed, the light seemed brighter. The colors were more beautiful. But what was truly beautiful was the man lying next to you.

           You rolled on your side to put your head in Tom’s shoulder. He put his arm around you and you laid there for a long time before moving. The sun was getting low on the horizon when you did, painting the room in gold.

“Should we get something to eat?” the prince asked.

“That sounds like a great idea”, you answered as your stomach grumbled.

           The prince chuckled as you sat down in bed, smiling a lazy smile.

“I’m starving, actually”, you stated.

“I could tell”, he laughed.

           You both got dressed, Tom helping you to lace your dress, before walking down to the common room.

           You ate in the men’s company, washing the food down with ale. All along you watched the prince and it was like you were seeing him for the first time. He seemed to be glowing although his hair was a mess. Which is my fault. Just that thought made you blush.

           The men’s mood wasn’t really cheerful, especially not since Carlson had died. But everyone knew he had died doing his duty, which seemed to be the best death for knights.

           Later that evening you walked back to your room along with the prince. You made love again as the silver rays of the moon bathed you in its glow and then fell asleep in the prince’s arms.

 -

 Morning came faster than you had wanted it to. You had to get dressed quickly to get to the ship on which you were going to make your way across the sea. Again, Tom helped you to put on your dress and he softly kissed you before you left your room.

“Do you think we will be fine?” you asked.

“Together we will”, he replied.

           Tom stopped in the kitchen to ask for a loaf of bread along with berries to break your fast and then you made your way out to the docks. Surprisingly, the docks were pretty empty at that time and you were able to walk to the ship without being stopped by anyone.

           You shot a look to the spot where Carlson had been killed yesterday. The body was nowhere to be seen but there was dried blood. You looked to the dock where the Islander ship had been but it was gone. You looked away, concentrating on the ship you were going to board. Its red sails were lowered, hanging loosely from the mast. The black skull on their banner was flapping in the wind and it looked even more dreadful in the rising sun.

“Are you sure about this?” you asked Tom.

“Yes”, Tom reassured. “I’ve offered them all the gold in Huller Town and the Windy Isle.”

           For a moment you didn’t understand what Tom was talking about but then you remembered that Huller Town was probably the richest city in the North.

“I hope that’ll be enough”, you said.

           The captain saw you from the deck and he jumped down from the ship.

“Climb on boat”, he said with a thick accent.

           According to what you knew about accents, you suspected that this man was from the east. He smiled to you and you noticed most of his teeth were rotten. It took everything in you not to throw up in his face.

“Lady follows not”, he added when he noticed you following the prince.

“What?” you said.

“Sir, I told you yesterday that we both had to sail to the North”, Tom reminded the captain.

“Lady on boat bad”, the man said. “Gods mad.”

“They won’t be”, Tom reassured. “Remember, we will pay you all the gold in Huller Town.”

“Yes, prince Thomas”, the man said before climbing on deck.

           Tom stood still, clearly not understanding how the man knew who he was.

“This is bad, Tom”, you whispered in his ear.

“We don’t have the choice”, he repeated. “Come.”

           He grabbed your hand to help you to climb on board. The captain had made his way to the back of the boat and was shouting orders to the crew. You noticed how every man seemed to be of a different origin. You noticed a Sandazi from the desert tribes, recognisable thanks to the scars on his cheeks. There was some Islanders too and one or two men from the east. The Dragon people… you wondered what could have brought them to this ship.

           There were also a few Southerners and a few Northerners on board, but they kept a careful distance with you. You didn’t know what the captain had told them but you were glad for it.

           The cog set sails as the sun rose in the sky. The wind was blowing hard which was a good sign for the crossing. You watched as you exited the docks, zigzagging through bigger ships. Eventually, the cog left the bay of the city to finally sail on the Mermaid Sea.

           You watched the seagulls following the ship, listening to their cries. Thomas was sitting somewhere on your left. The moment he had set foot on the ship you had known that the crossing was going to be hard for him. Although the sea was not really agitated at the moment, you could tell he was already sea-sick.

           You walked to him as you took in the smell of the sea air. It smelled of fish and salt and of something else that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Tom shot you a look as you stopped next to him and then rested his gaze back on the city that was already disappearing in the distance.

“First time on a boat?” you asked.

“We don’t sail on boats in the North”, Tom stated.

You laughed. “Well, I’m sure there are fishers in the North too, Tom.”

“Yeah there are”, Tom replied. “We actually have this thing we call fish and chips. It’s really good. Although the thought of food is making me sick right now.”

           He got up and walked to the rail of the boat. He retched the food he had eaten for breakfast before taking a step back.

“This is going to be awful”, he complained.

“I’m personally feeling quite alright”, you admitted, a playful smile on your lips.

Tom squinted at you. “This is unfair.”

“You”, the captain suddenly said, making you jump. “Give me sword.”

           Tom seemed alarmed for a moment but he nonetheless unbuckled his sword belt and gave it to the sailor who was accompanying the captain.

“Have weapons?” the captain asked you.

You sighed before pulling your dagger from your sleeve.

“Good”, the captain said. “Now, go in cabin. You prisoners.”

           This was bad. You shot a look to Tom, who seemed to be about to retch again. Which he did before two sailors dragged him to the cabin. You walked behind them, knowing that resisting was completely aimless.

           The cabin stank of burned oil but it was cozier than expected. There was a bed nailed to the floor, along with a desk and a chair, both nailed to the floor too. On the desk there was an oil lamp, which was currently not lit up. Another one was hanging from the ceiling. Each time the cog climbed a wave, the lamp moved which made its flame flicker.

           You sat on the bed, along with Tom, who seemed about to throw up yet again. The captain stood with his hands on his hips next to the door.

“Bucket for prince”, he said before leaving the room.

           Tom took a deep breath and you put a reassuring hand on his knee.

“You’re going to be alright”, you gently said. “It’s just like if we were on the ground.”

“Except the ground’s moving”, he complained.

“It barely is”, you remarked.

“I hope it won’t get worse”, Tom whispered.

“It won’t”, you affirmed although you knew there was no chance the sea would be so calm all along.

           The captain came back with a bucket that he gave to Tom.

“Meals at sunset”, he told you before leaving again.

           You heard him lock the door behind him and you sighed. You would have much rather spend the journey on deck.

           The first days were the worst for Tom. He threw everything he ate up and even when he hadn’t eaten anything his stomach heaved. You never were sick, although the smell in the cabin grew awful with Tom’s vomit. At least the captain sent a boy to clean everything up every day.

           The meals consisted of fish and algae, sometimes accompanied with salt beef. Most of the time it was only fish though. That didn’t help Tom and the first days he didn’t even take a single bite of the fish. He eventually got used to it though and were able to eat a little by the beginning of the second week.

           You knew it was the second week because you had received seven meals by then. If you had understood correctly, the captain had said that you were going to get a single meal per day, at sunset. So this was your only way of keeping track with the time that was passing by outside of the cabin.

           You had tried talking with the boy who cleaned the room but you had eventually realized that he couldn’t speak. At first you had thought he just didn’t know your language but then you understood that his tongue had been torn out.

           You took a sip of the flagon of wine the boy had brought you the last time he had come for the supper. Tom was currently sleeping and you were left listening to the sound of his soft snores. You tried to listen to the sounds outside of the cabin but they were too indistinct for you to understand something. You heard shouting outside of the cabin and suddenly the door flew open. Tom was woken up immediately.

“What is going on?” he asked.

           You shrugged your shoulders as the captain walked in.

“Serpent”, he explained. “See.”

           He motioned for you to follow him and you shot a questioning look to Tom. Tom decided to follow the captain because he needed fresh air and you followed them because you couldn’t help but to wonder what the captain had meant with “serpent”.

           You quickly understood what he was talking about when you saw the glimmer of the sun on the blue and purple scales of the monster swimming next to the ship. It was approximatively twenty meters long, which meant it was longer than the cog itself. The ship crew were all looking at it, dreading the moment it was going to attack. But it didn’t.

           The creature disappeared under the sea after having swam next to the boat for about an hour. From that day you were granted access to the deck, as long as you stayed on the side and weren’t in the way of the ship crew. Tom didn’t seem to appreciate being on deck as much as you. Not seeing ground around made him feel sick and he wasn’t able to stay on deck for more than five minutes at the time. But you could and you did.

           Your favourite moment was at night. Especially when the wind stopped and it felt like there were stars in the sea too. Everywhere you looked they shone and you had never seen so much stars at the same time. It was beautiful, really, and you felt as if you were the smallest grain of sand in an infinity of black.

           The captain seemed to take a liking to you because every night he stood with you under the stars, showing you how to use them to guide yourself across the sea. He showed you the Star of the Sailor, a bright star that indicated where the North was and he taught you how to use a sextant. You were pretty good at it and you even helped him to use it when the night sky was cloudless.

           You felt lucky. If it wasn’t for the captain liking you, you knew the crew wouldn’t be treating you with respect. You could see how some of them looked at you and you knew they wouldn’t want to drink tea with you. Their gazes were undressing you and it made you feel uneasy. But none of them ever approached you.

           To say the captain appreciated you was probably an overstatement. He only talked to you at night, when most of the crew was sleeping under deck. Still, nobody dared approach you in broad daylight so you were thankful for it.

Somewhere in the middle of the third week, the wind died down. The cog stayed unmoving for days, which was making you feel uneasy. It was of ill omen. The provisions were running low and although there was a fisher net with which the sailors could catch some fish, you were forced to start rationing the food. Water was running low too and the North was still nowhere to be seen.

The cog stayed motionless for five days. By the fifth day Tom was feeling almost well, as if he was back on the ground. Unfortunately, by the end of the day, the sky in the west turned black as night and the wind came back. You noticed how the clouds seemed rolling towards you. A storm was coming.

The captain ordered to you and Tom to go back in the cabin and to stay there until the storm had passed. That’s how you found yourself sitting on the bed, your hands in Tom’s, as the boat crashed down waves after waves. At this point you almost felt sick too, because you were scared to die. But you didn’t retch like Tom was, so one could say you were almost doing well.

The wind was howling outside of the cabin and the sea was raging. It felt as if Poseidon was determined to take down that small ship who dared sail his waters in the middle of a storm. The light from the oil lantern kept flickering and you were convinced it was soon going to give out. Your grip on Tom’s hands got a little tighter as the ship crashed down yet another wave. From the inside, it felt as if a giant was holding you in the palm of his hands, shaking you up and down, like one would shake an hourglass in an attempt to stop the course of time.

           Your thoughts went to the ship crew that were all out in the madness. A month ago you would have never dared to think that, but now you were afraid they were going to die. Them dying meant you dying, drowning in the salt water of the Mermaid Sea. You had always been afraid of this sea in particular. Ever since you had sighted the serpent you had been afraid. Although the sailors had taken it as a good omen, somewhere in the back of your mind you had known it wasn’t.

Few were the sailors that dared sail the Mermaid Sea and you understood why as the ship crashed down another wave. You had angered Poseidon when you had chosen to sail on his sea and he was going to make you pay for it.

           There was a loud noise outside of the cabin, the noise of wood breaking. You hoped with all your heart that it wasn’t the mast. Without it, you weren’t going to be able to move forward as fast as you had did up to now. And you had to reach Tom’s kingdom before your father’s army did. For the sake of both of your kingdoms, you had to.

           You watched as Tom’s face seemed paler and paler by the minute. He didn’t like the sea. He had never did. His people were a horse people. They rode their stallions in battles and around the world. That was the way of the Northerners. You were a Southerner, your people sailed the seas on carracks and long ships. Well, you had never been on a ship before, only men were allowed to sail the seas, but you still had it in your blood.

“That storm is going to be the end of us”, he whispered.

           You barely heard him under the sound of the wind and the rain.

“Tom, those pirates know the sea, they’ve sailed it a hundred times before”, you reassured him. “We are going to be just fine.”

           He shook his head.

“You heard what they said.” His voice was stronger now. “It’s of ill omen to let a woman board on a ship. They said it was going to anger Poseidon, they said…”

           You put your finger on his mouth to silence him.

“Tom, the captain doesn’t believe in Poseidon”, you stated. “Only the Northerners and Southerners of the crew do.”

There were voices outside the door. Tom’s eyes were round with fear.

“They are only superstitions”, you added, trying to convince yourself, as the captain and two pirates burst into the cabin.

           They were drippling with water and the ropes around their waists hung heavy. The captain said something in a foreign language, but you recognized the words “woman” and “sacrifice”.

“Don’t you dare”, you said as the two sailors walked towards you. “My father will pay you whatever you want if you bring me on the other side alive.”

“Silence”, said the captain with his deep accent. “Men say woman on ship dangerous. Want sacrifice to Poseidon. Calm the god.”

“No”, shouted Tom as his hands went to the pommel of his sword. Only to be met with emptiness.

           The two sailors pushed him roughly and you lost your grip on his hands. They grabbed you by the arms and dragged you out of the cabin, where two other men were waiting.

           Utter chaos was the outside world. You caught a glimpse of dark clouds before a wave crashed in, the salty water making your eyes burn.

           Maybe you should have been scared. You were going to die. Simple as that. The sailors were following the rules of the universe. Maybe it had been your faith since the day you were born. To be the sacrifice that was going to stop a war. As long as Tom reached the shore, the war could be stopped. But you were just a woman and Poseidon was asking for his price.

           You were lucky the men had been holding you because, when another wave rolled in, you lost your footing and fell. You swallowed some salty water and your throat started to burn. It tasted like fish. What a weird observation for someone that was going to die.

           They brought you toward the front of the boat, toward the bow, which was sculpted like a mermaid, as it plunged down another wave. They were going to throw you overboard, to sacrifice you to the raging waters. You considered fighting, but you knew it was meaningless. They were pirates, they knew how to fight, you had no chance against them.

           You reached the bow as the ship reached the crest of a wave. The world laid there in front of your eyes, but soon enough the tip of the boat leaned down the wave and it started to plunge down. You closed your eyes in time to stop the water from getting into them, but the pirates’ grip on your arms went loose and the wave caught you. You lost your footing and as you were about to scream, water got into your mouth, drowning the sound.

           You got tossed around by the wave, you didn’t even know if you were still on the boat or if you had already been thrown overboard. Your head hit something and your body went limp as you felt your life drain from you. Maybe you were dreaming but you heard some voices. Singing. It was melodious and if you hadn’t been on the verge of dying you would have cried because of the beauty of it all. But your strength was leaving you and your lungs were burning for air. But down where you were, there was no oxygen.

           You felt a hand grab your wrist ever so gently and just when you were about to lose consciousness, you heard a voice in your mind. It said a simple word. Sister.

Read chapter eight here!

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Lately, you were slowly coming to the realization that Finn didn’t seem to love you as much as he used to. At the beginning of your relationship, last December, he had always wanted to make sure that you were always fine. He never would have forced you to go out if he knew you were tired. But lately, there was this girl in his group of friends that he seemed to like just a little too much and there was nothing you could do but to watch him slowly drifting away from you.

That was something you needed to talk to him about. Because you couldn’t stand being replaced by someone else, especially not after what Tom had did almost a year ago. You still remembered the day he had told you about Sarah and to this day it still haunted you. You remembered every single words he had said, they were still burning in your mind each time you thought about those two brown eyes.

A year. A year since your friendship had ended and you still had feelings for him. You had realized that a couple of months ago, when you were fighting with Finn about something stupid that you knew you never would have fought about with Tom. Tom had been your best friend for so long, you both never would have gotten mad at the other.

Except that one time. That one time you didn’t even want to think about because you regretted what you had did. When he had come to you, begging for your help and you had only slammed your door shut in his face. You still remembered his broken eyes and the way he had begged for you. And it was haunting, oh so haunting because you had needed him too.

Finn burst out laughing at something the girl said. You watched how she had a hand on his arm and how she leaned in to whisper something in his ear. Was she blind? Didn’t she see that you were right there next to Finn?

Finn shot you a glance over his shoulder before he leaned in to whisper in the girl’s ear. She giggled, blushing and all you could do was watch how she smiled to Finn, both of their heads only inches apart.

“That’s it”, you said, “I’m leaving.”

Finn turned his head toward you.

“No, don’t, babe”, he said. “The night has only begun. We’re going to Fabric after.”

Was he stupid? Did he really think you wanted to go to Fabric with this stupid girl who had her hands all over your boyfriend’s arm?

“Finn, we need to talk”, you declared.

He shook his head. “Now is not the time, Y/N, we’ll talk tomorrow if that’s what you want to.”

And then he turned back his attention to the girl. This night promised to be awful.

When 11 PM came and the pub closed, you found yourself walking with Finn to the nearest tube station. It seemed you really were going to Fabric, like it or not. You weren’t going to let him go alone, not when Emily was there. You were going to go to make sure she would keep her hands off of your boy.

You should have known that this was a mistake. You were already tired and Finn didn’t seem to want to go back home early tonight. But as you entered the club, the sound of the music gave you a sudden rush of energy and you found yourself dancing along with Finn. His hands were on your hips and you were swaying to the rhythm with him and suddenly you forgot about your concern. You just enjoyed the moment and the proximity of the people dancing to the beat, and Finn’s hands on your hips as he pulled you closer. You could feel his arousal and somehow you felt powerful. You saw Emily in the distance, how she seemed pissed off and you smiled to her. This is my man, back off bitch.

Eventually you needed to go to the bathroom, so you left Finn with Oliver and Calum, two of his friends. You made your way to the bathroom through the crowded dancefloor and it took you longer than it should have because there was a queue in the lady’s room. But soon enough you were done and you started making your way back to the spot where you had left Finn and told him to wait for you.

You cursed under your breath, looking everywhere for him but he was nowhere to be seen. You started making your way to the doors, thinking he might have gone to smoke a cigarette. You didn’t like when he smoked but when he was drunk, he couldn’t help it.

You made your way through the crowd only to notice Finn standing a couple of meters in front of you. He was talking to a boy you didn’t know and Emily was there. You tried to walk to them but someone bumped into you, spilling the content of their plastic glass on you.

“Fuck”, you cursed when you felt the cold liquid seeping through your clothes.

It smelled of beer and you cursed again. The person apologized and offered to pay you a drink, but you refused. You just wanted them to move out of the way so you could see Finn. When they did, you saw Finn and the girl taking what seemed to be a pill. Hell no.

You walked to them and gripped Finn’s arm.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you asked.

“We’re just having fun, relax babe”, Finn replied with his drunken voice.

“Excuse me?” you exclaimed. “Since when do popping pills count as having fun? Don’t you remember the girl who overdosed a couple of months ago?”

“I’m not a pussy, I’ll be fine”, Finn said.

“Finn, come we’ll go dancing”, Emily suddenly said.

She grabbed his other arm and tried to pull him away.

“You aren’t going anywhere, Finlay”, you growled.

He turned to you and laughed in your face. “Don’t call me Finlay.”

You let go of his arm, knowing you had lost this battle. He walked away with Emily, putting an arm around her shoulder. Your heart stopped in your chest at the sight. You had had enough.

Tears pricked at your eyes as you made your way outside of the club. You furiously blinked them away. You were done with Finn’s bullshit, you couldn’t handle this anymore. He knew how you were scared of people replacing you and here he was doing whatever he was doing with Emily.

You remembered Tom and the way he had replaced you with Sarah and you wanted to scream at him, to scream at him that you hated him because he had fucked you up. You couldn’t trust others anymore, all you could think was that they were going to get bored of you and that they would replace you at some point. And Finn was proving you right.

When you were finally sitting down in the Uber you had called, you let go of your tears, letting them silently flow down your cheeks. You had to break up with Finn, for your sake. He was only hurting you lately and, yes, breaking up with him would hurt but at least it wouldn’t continue to hurt forever.

Finn didn’t text you that night. For a moment you wondered what he was doing, if he was with Emily or if he was back home and you figured it was better not to think about it. You had seen the way he had slung his arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer. You knew damn well what he probably was doing and you preferred not to imagine. You were already hurting enough.

You cried yourself to sleep that night, wearing that jumper you had stolen to Tom on a freezing January movie night two years ago. Maybe you couldn’t go to Tom for comfort, but wearing his clothes almost felt like having his arms around you. It probably didn’t help you at all but as the hours passed by it was the only thing you could do to keep you afloat.

At some point between 6 and 7 AM, you wondered if Tom would let you in, if you said you needed him. You wondered if he would push you away the way you had pushed him away last November. You guessed he would. Your friendship had died for good that time.

At 10 AM, you decided to get up. You weren’t going to sleep anyway. You noticed that Finn had texted you.

Finn: Hey, I’m on my way, we need to talk.

Fuck. You sighed deeply before replying that you were waiting for him.

You took a shower, getting dressed in those clothes Finn had said he didn’t like but that you loved so much. You didn’t feel like eating at all, so you just made yourself a cup of tea before turning the TV on as you were waiting for Finn.

Twenty minutes later you heard Finn’s keys fumbling in the lock. You turned your head toward the door to see him walking in. The first thing you noticed was the hickey in his neck and even though you would have preferred to keep your calm, you lost it right away.

“What the fuck, Finn”, you said. “What the fuck have you done?”

As you had talked you had gotten up from the couch and Finn had walked to you.

“Y/N, I think we both knew that this was going to happen eventually”, he said. “You’ve been distant lately and well, Emily’s always there.”

“Fuck you, Finn”, you growled as an angry tear rolled down your cheek. “That doesn’t give you the right to go around my back and cheat with the first stupid bitch that comes into your life.”

“Hey, watch your mouth, Emily isn’t a bitch”, he said on the same tone.

“Why, Finn?” you asked as a couple of other tears streamed down your cheeks. “You knew what happened with Tom and…”

“Everything always goes back to him, doesn’t it?” Finn growled. “You haven’t stopped loving him for fuck’s sake. Do you think it’s easy for me to know the girl I loved was infatuated with someone else all along?”

“I wasn’t”, you screamed. “I fucking wasn’t. I love you, Finn. You’re the one who cheated, don’t try to put the blame on me.”

Silence suddenly filled your apartment and only then did you realize how loud you had been talking. If Tom was home, he would have heard everything of the fight.

“It’s over, Y/N”, Finn finally said, his voice barely audible after the screams.

Your eyes filled with tears yet again and a broken sob escaped your lips instead of the words you wanted to speak. Finn looked sorry for a moment, but he turned around and left. Left you to your broken words that you would regret not saying. But it was too late, Finn was gone and you were alone.

You broke down and cried for hours. For hours and days and weeks. Your friends tried to help you but there was something you were missing. A piece of you that Tom had torn away from you and that Finn had seemed to fix only to break even more.

You wanted to fix it yourself, you didn’t want to need someone to fix you, but you couldn’t. You missed your best friend and you regretted not letting him in when he had said he needed you. Because now you needed him and you couldn’t bring it to yourself to knock on his door and risk suffering the humiliation of being rejected.

So you spent weeks lonely, hanging out with the two or three friends that could deal with your depressive state. One day in the middle of summer, you decided to spend the day in Richmond Park, with Elizabeth, a friend from work. It was a hot day, with a soft breeze that made it just bearable. The sun was shining bright, with only a couple of fluffy white clouds in the otherwise cloudless sky.

You had decided to have a picnic next to the Kingston gate and then you would walk to Isabella plantation and stroll around the plantation for a moment. You had always loved the Isabella plantation, its trees and flowers were always so beautiful. You felt at peace there, even though it’s a place you had often gone to with Tom. Perhaps that was the reason you felt so peaceful: it reminded you of Tom and of better days.

You met Liz at the gate of the park around noon. You walked around with her until you found a convenient space where you could eat your picnic peacefully. Liz talked to you about work and you noticed how she was careful not to mention boys. You hated it: you weren’t made of porcelain, you could hear of boys. It had been weeks since Finn had cheated on you and dumped you, you could hear about that boy you knew. And maybe, just maybe hearing her talk about it could remind you that love existed and that everything was going to be alright.

“Hey, Liz”, you said, interrupting the story she was telling.

“What?” she asked, visibly surprised that you had talked for one of the first times since the break-up.

“Didn’t you start dating this new guy?” you asked. “A guy from high school if I’m not mistaken.”

“Oh, well yeah”, she answered, blushing. “Yes, I did. You know him, I think.”

You looked at her questioningly. She was a couple of years younger than you, how could you know him?

“Who is it?” you asked.

“Harry”, she said, blushing even more.

“Holland?” you asked, genuinely surprised.

She nodded her head quickly.

“Oh”, you simply said. “He’s a nice guy.”

And Harry truly was. Always a gentleman. He had always been nice to you when you were at the Holland’s house with Tom or when you hung out together, along with Harrison, Sam and Tuwaine. You wondered how they had all been doing, you hadn’t seen them in ages.

“Yeah, he truly is”, she said. “We’ve seen each other for a couple of months and well, now it’s pretty much official I’d say.”

For a couple of months? Why hadn’t she told you before?

“Really? That’s lovely.” Your voice was exempt of any emotion and you almost felt bad.

“Yeah”, Liz said.

An uncomfortable silence fell on the two of you. Not knowing what to say, you looked around for a moment. But you couldn’t stand the silence and you decided that today was the day you were going to stop letting the break-up affect you so much. It was time to move on and to be happy and to embrace life.

“Come”, you suddenly said, getting up from the blanket on which you were sitting. “Let’s go to the plantation, you’ll love it.”

A small smile crept on Liz’s lips as she saw how you suddenly seemed happy. She got up and laughed when you started putting everything in the basket with a new strength. Suddenly, you weren’t the half-dead corpse you had been for weeks.

“What?” you asked as Liz stared at you.

“Nothing, I just haven’t seen you so… so … uh alive in a couple of weeks, you know?” she explained.

You sighed but you weren’t going to fall back into your depressive state of mind. Today was a beautiful sunny day and you were going to enjoy every single minute of it.

“Let’s go”, you said, picking up the basket.

Liz nodded and you started walking to the plantation. You had to climb a hill to get there and you felt out of breath before you even reached the top. So when you reached it, you stopped for a moment to catch your breath. That’s when you noticed two familiar boys in the distance, and a blue staffy that trotted happily between the two guys.

“Is it me or is that Harry?” you asked, pointing toward the two boys.

Liz squinted and then laughed. “Yup, that’s my boy. I told him that we were coming here, I never thought he was going to show up.”

“You told him I was going to be there?” you asked.

“Well, yeah, since he knows you”, she explained.

That explained why a familiar curly-haired boy was there too. You took a deep breath as Liz waved to them and they noticed your presence. The boys walked to you and you tried your best not to look at Tom. Wasn’t that complicated when Tessa was there.

Tom let go of the leash when they got closer to you and Tessa ran to you. You got down on your knees as she jumped on you, putting her little paws on your shoulders as she started licking your face.

“God, Tess”, you laughed, putting her down on the ground as you started petting her.

She continued licking your hands and again you laughed, but it sounded more like a childish giggle. You noticed from the corner of your eyes the two boys stopping next to you and Liz embracing Harry. You kept your gaze on Tessa, ignoring Tom as best as you could.

You didn’t know if you wanted to see him right now. After everything that had happened, it just felt weird to be next to him again. Like he was a stranger, not your best friend.

Eventually, Tessa trotted back to Tom and you had to acknowledge his presence. You got back up, brushing the grass off of your knees and then you shot a look to him and Harry.

“Hey”, you simply said when your gaze got caught up in Tom’s.

He had changed. Not so much, but his hair was longer and there was a bit of stubble on his cheeks. But what you noticed the most was that the usual twinkle in his eyes wasn’t there anymore.

“Hey there”, he replied, and a soft smile spread on his lips.

You remembered his broken gaze months ago and the way he had begged for you. You also remembered when he had said that Sarah didn’t like your friendship and how he had decided to take his distance with you. And for a single moment your heart ached again but then you smiled, chasing the pain away.

“Fancy seeing you here”, Harry said and you almost laughed.

Almost because you knew why they had come. And you knew that reason was Tom’s lightless gaze. You knew that gaze all too well because every morning you looked at yourself in the mirror and saw those same dead eyes. Did losing our friendship hurt you as much as it hurt me?

“Yeah”, you simply said. “We were going to Isabella plantation.”

“Oh, mom loves it there”, Harry said, shooting a glance to Tom over Liz’s head.

But Tom’s eyes stayed on yours, because he knew all too well that you loved it too. He too remembered days of hanging out there, studying under the flowering trees.

You broke the eye contact as you looked away, toward the plantation.

“Should we go?” you asked, not wanting the awkwardness of the moment to ruin the day.

“Yeah, yeah”, Tom replied and he grabbed Tessa’s lead before walking in the plantation’s direction.

You followed him, and you naturally found your place on his right, with Tessa between you. Harry and Liz were somewhere behind you. You walked in silence for a while, both of you not knowing what to say. The precipice between you wasn’t only half a meter wide, it was a year of being away from the other, a year of regretting saying some words and not saying some other.

You looked at the other couples walking around you, and you stepped out of the way when a bike or two passed. You watched the birds jumping from trees to trees, the deer grazing at the grass in the distance, the two squirrels chasing each other across the trail.

Eventually Tom spoke up. You knew he was going to, he had never been comfortable with long silences.

“So uh, how’s life been going?” he asked.

You chuckled bitterly. Horrible without you. But you weren’t going to speak the truth.

“Well, uh, it’s been good”, you lied. “You?”

“It’s been okay”, he replied and you could tell by the way he ran his hand through his hair that he was lying too.

You glanced at him but his gaze was stubbornly fixed on the backs of the two girls walking in front of you.

“I heard…” Tom began but then stopped.

You knew exactly what he was about to say. And it made your heart go wild in your chest as anxiety filled your veins. Just the thought of the fight still sent shivers down your spine. Finn had hurt you, more than you would ever dare to admit.

“You heard what?” you asked, feigning innocence.

“You know, when you fought with uh… with… what’s his name again?” Tom asked.

That stung deep into your heart. Once Tom would have known everything about you. Now he was just a stranger with common memories.

“Finn”, you said, not daring saying more.

It was the first time you had said his name since the break-up and surprisingly it didn’t hurt as much as you had expected. Perhaps it was because you were with Tom.

“Yeah”, Tom said. “Finn. He was an asshole.”

And what does that make you, Tom?

“I had it coming”, you said.

That was true. You had known that Finn and Emily were getting closer, you had seen it. And you had never found the strength in you to talk to him about it, not until it was too late. You had been so afraid to be rejected, to be replaced, that you had pushed Finn away.

Tom shot you a look, but his eyes didn’t linger on you long.

“You feeling guilty about it?” he asked.

You suddenly found yourself fighting with tears. Yes, you felt guilty. Of course you felt guilty.

“Well, kinda happened because of me”, you stated.

Tom opened the gate of the plantation for you and you got in, Tessa on your heels. Tom followed and he let the gate shut behind you. Harry and Liz were nowhere to be seen.

“It wasn’t your fault, Y/N”, Tom said softly. “You aren’t the one who…”

He stopped talking and you felt grateful for it. Hearing the words in his mouth would have been way too hard.

You walked into the trail on the left, the one that went around the small lake. Over your head the sky seemed to have covered in clouds.

“Why are you here today?” you asked.

It hurt, it hurt so much to have him there when all you could feel was your heart breaking when he had asked you to leave, when all you could picture was his broken gaze and the sound of the door you shut in his face.

Tom glanced at you again and you recognised the pain in his eyes. It was the same as in yours.

“I made a mistake, when I let you leave a year ago”, he said. “Have been trying to move on from it but it isn’t easy.”

“You asked me to leave, Tom”, you stated. “You accepted to take your distance from me.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to get this far”, he whispered.

Your heart beat achingly fast in your chest as another wave of tears filled your eyes, drowning Tom’s features behind a blurry wall.

“What did you think was going to happen?” you asked, choking on the last word as your throat tightened.

As a tear rolled down your cheek, Tom reached out to dry it with his thumb. You winced under his touch and he pulled away quickly.

“I’m so so sorry”, he apologized in a whisper. “I never wanted to hurt you.” He stopped for a moment. “Come.”

You blinked your tears away and followed him on the other side of the plantation and you recognised the spot right away. The pink flowers in the tree were still blooming as if the time hadn’t passed. Tom sat under the tree and Tessa lied down next to him. You stared at him for a moment, until he smiled softly and patted the ground next to him. Only then did you decide to join him.

You sat down next to him, on the other side of Tessa, and pulled your knees to your chest. You shot a look to the sky through the leaves of the trees. The clouds seemed darker than they were before and you sighed. It looked as if it was going to rain.

“Remember when Tess was just a pup and I let go of her lead”, Tom suddenly said. “We had to run after her and we even got kicked out of the plantation.”

You smiled at the memory.

“They said we couldn’t come back with her as long as we didn’t teach her how to behave”, you said.

“We trained her for weeks after that”, Tom added. “It never really worked, didn’t it?”

You petted the dog and she licked your hand. “She’s behaving now”, you stated.

Tom laughed. “It’s only because you’re here.”

The sound of his laughter warmed your heart unexpectedly. It was good to be here next to him, especially after your heartbreak.

“Yeah, obviously, Tessa has always liked me better”, you joked, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

Tom’s eyes lit up with the sight of your small smile. “Yeah”, he chuckled.

You fell into silence, a silence only interrupted by the sound of a plane in the sky above and by the chirping of birds. Again, Tom spoke up as the silence got longer.

“I’m sorry, you know”, he said. “I know sorry will never make it okay but I am.”

You sighed deeply. “It fucked me up, Tom.”

“Why?” he asked and you could’ve punched the questioning look out of his face if only you had dared.

“My best friend deciding I wasn’t worth it anymore fucked me up”, you coldly explained.

Tom let out a shaky sigh and ran a hand through his hair, the curls falling right back on his forehead the moment his hand returned to his lap.

“I’m sorry”, he breathed.

You sighed again to calm the painful beats of your heart as you heard the familiar splatter of rain on the leaves above your head.

“Was it worth it?” you asked.

Tom shot you a quizzical look.

“Was it worth it to choose Sarah over me?” you asked again.

Tom shook his head slowly. “No. I regretted it every second of every single day I spent with her.”

Somehow that didn’t even ease the ache in your chest.

“You know, I broke up with her that day”, he said.

You knew all too well what day he was talking about.

“Why?” you enquired.

“Because of you”, he simply answered. “I missed you so much, Y/N, you have no idea. And Sarah kept saying those stuff about you and it was driving me insane.”

You remembered his words. I need you. And for a moment you wondered what would have happened if you had let him in that day.

“You know, I was expecting you to let me back in the moment Sarah was gone”, Tom admitted. “I kept thinking that our friendship was stronger than this and that we would make it through it.”

“You took me for granted”, you whispered.

“I know”, Tom chuckled bitterly. “I fucking know. The door slamming in my face was enough of a wake-up call.”

You hated the venom in his voice. You had had the right to react this way, especially after what he had done to you.

“Why did you think I would let you in, Tom?” you asked, venom seeping into your voice too. “I admitted my feelings to you that day and you told me to leave.”

Tom didn’t say a word. You noticed a tear rolling down his cheek.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry”, he whispered. “I know I was an asshole but I miss you, I miss you so fucking much. Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?”

“Would you forgive me for slamming the door shut in your face?” you asked.

“What?” His voice was surprised. “I already did. I deserved it, don’t you think?”

You weren’t sure that anybody deserved to be rejected when they cried for help. But after what he had done to you, a part of you whispered that he deserved to feel the way you had felt.

“Nobody deserves that”, you finally said, all the venom in your voice gone at once.

Tom’s eyes filled with tears but he blinked them away. He knew you weren’t going to forgive him right away, but the words you had just spoke told him that you were going to eventually. He had always been hopeful, that was the way he was. He always saw the good in others but that’s something that you did too. And that was why he knew you would come back to him eventually. Even if you had had to break his heart to come back, he knew you would come back.

That day, when the door had shut in his face, he had gone back home. He wasn’t crying anymore, he just felt empty. Like the life had just been drained from him. He had sat on the couch, next to Harrison and he hadn’t said a word. Until much later in the evening, when he had said that he was going to do everything in his power to have your friendship back. Harrison had been the one to say he should give you space and wait for you to be ready.

As he looked at you now, sitting underneath that same evergreen azalea under which you had sat for half of your childhood, he understood that Harrison had been right. If Tom had insisted that day, you would just have pushed him farther away, so far he never could have come back. But today, here he was, sitting next to you, and suddenly a flicker of hope burned in the back of his mind.

“Do you think we could go back to the way we were before?” he asked with a small and hopeful voice.

You thought about it. Really thought about it. Could you forgive him for choosing someone else over you? Could you forgive yourself for rejecting him when he needed you? Right now it was all that you wanted to do. You had never been able to forget Tom and to get over him. Finn had been right: you had continued to love Tom even if you were with him.

“Perhaps with time”, you said.

And that was all that Tom needed to hear. A smile spread on his lips. He wasn’t going to let you down, not this time.

The rain stopped not so long after that and you decided to head back home together. All along Tom talked to you about his new projects and you told him about the book you had almost finished writing. But you didn’t tell him that the story of you and him was behind that book. Nobody knew. Finn had suspected it but he had never said it aloud.

The walk home was long, it took over an hour but you were in good company and the sun was back in the sky, warming your skin with its hot rays.

You wondered where Harry and Liz were and a part of you wondered if that had been a plan of them all along. To leave you and Tom alone so you could make up for the lost time.

Tom walked you to your door and you let him in. None of you wanted to let the other go, it felt too good to be back, you had so much to tell each other

“Sorry for the mess”, you apologized as you took a look at your apartment.

You hadn’t cleaned since the break-up with Finn, never finding the strength too. And now with Tom and Tessa in your flat the mess seemed even worse.

You laughed when Tessa plopped herself up on your couch, until your eyes fell on the shirt you had stolen to Tom and that was right next to the dog. Now you couldn’t help but to blush.

“Is that my jumper?” Tom asked innocently.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, you said as you hurried to the couch and threw the shirt behind it.

Tom burst out laughing. “You really kept that?”

You looked at him and suddenly there were tears in your eyes again. Tom walked to you quickly.

“Hey, it’s okay, I don’t mind”, he gently said.

“No, that’s not it”, you said.

“What is it?” he asked.

You weren’t ready to talk about this to him. So you shrugged your shoulders and said: “It doesn’t matter.”

Tom knew better than to ask again, so he just nodded his head.

You weren’t ready to face the feelings that blossomed in your heart at the sight of Tom’s soft eyes even after all he did to you. You weren’t ready to admit he had broken you in a way you didn’t think you could heal from. You didn’t want to fight with him, not when you still could hear the echoes of the fight with Finn.

Your cellphone suddenly rang and you took it out of the back pocket of your jeans. It was Liz calling. The perfect diversion on the awkwardness that had seeped into the atmosphere.

“Sup”, you said as you accepted the call.

Your voice sounded weird and you scraped your throat.

“Hey love”, Liz said. “We lost you guys earlier, is everything okay?”

A small smile crept on your lips at the concern in her voice. “Yeah, everything’s fine. I’m still with Tom.”

“What?” she exclaimed. You heard her muffled voice telling Harry that you were still with Tom before she came back to you. “Sam and Harry wanted to go to the pub tonight, wanna join?”

You glanced at Tom. “Wanna go to the pub tonight?” you asked him.

He nodded his head, his lips spreading into a smile.

“Yeah, we’ll come”, you replied.

You hung up your phone a moment later as Tom still looked at you with the same smile on his lips.

“What?” you asked him as his eyes lingered on yours.

He chuckled. “We’re going to the pub.” Another laugh fell from his lips as his smile grew even bigger.

You didn’t understand why that made him laugh but he looked adorable so you just shrugged your shoulders and said: “Yeah we are.”

He laughed again and it sounded so childish, so like… Tom. That’s when it all hit you: Tom was standing right in front of you and maybe, just maybe the heartbreak was truly finally over. Maybe it was time to remember old feelings and to relive them again, to embrace them like the sun embraced the earth every morning.

“I gotta get ready though”, you told him after having taken a look at your athletic clothes.

“Yeah, me too”, he replied. “And gotta take care of Tessa. Meet me outside at 7:30?”

You nodded your head. “Yeah, of course.”

On that note Tom grinned again. It was your turn to giggle like a child.

“Can’t believe you’re there”, Tom muttered.

He realized what he had said a moment after the words left his mouth. His expression changed from all giddy to stressed. He was afraid he had said the wrong thing.

“Go get ready, you div”, you laughed, pushing him toward the door.

He finally smiled again and called Tessa, who followed him out into the hallway between your two apartments. He waved you goodbye, like the div he was as you shut the door behind him.

Oof. That felt surprisingly good.

And indeed it did.

You got ready as fast as you could, so fast you found yourself staring at the clock on the wall next to your TV (Tom had always made fun of its location), counting down the seconds until 7:30 finally came.

As you waited you found yourself reflecting on the events of today. It felt weird that you had actually talked to Tom for the first time in a year (you technically hadn’t talked the day he had come begging that he needed you). But at the same time, it felt as if you could finally turn the page on the events of last year. Yes, he had said some stuff. No, what he had done wasn’t okay and probably never would be. But hey, people made mistakes and you could tell that Tom regretted that mistake a lot. And you could forgive him, right? You could forgive the boy that helped you up when you fell down from your bike and bruised your knee. You could forgive the boy that helped you to study that English test in freshman year. You could forgive the boy who brought you chocolate on Valentine’s Day when your crush had told you you were just a friend. But could you forgive the boy who gave up on your friendship?

You shook the thoughts away. He hadn’t given up. He had come back today. At the right moment, actually. If you hadn’t been in that mood of moving on from Finn and turning the page, you would have just told him to fuck off. But now, you were about to go to the pub with him. Like old times. It’s funny how life has its way.

You jumped from the couch the minute the clock indicated 7:30. You felt dizzy for a moment at the sudden movement and you stopped. You saw stars and you blinked once or twice before walking to the door, your mind finally clear from the dizziness.

Nerves were eating at your stomach as you put your hand on the doorknob. You knew Tom was probably already waiting for you and you also knew that you had a decision to take right now. If you were to open the door right now, you were going to welcome Tom back into your life. If you didn’t, you would go back to the way it had been for a year and you’d be able to move on from him, hopefully.

As if you would choose the second option. You opened the door, smiling when you saw Tom was about to knock on it.

“Oh, there you are”, he said, running a hand through his hair as his cheeks turned pink.

You smiled at him and his eyes softened at the sight.

Tonight you had decided to wear a pair of black leggings that hugged your form perfectly along with one of your favourite shirt. Favourite because Tom had brought it back to you after one of his many trips.

You walked out of your flat, shutting the door behind you. As you locked it, he took the time to watch you and it was like he was seeing you for the first time. Had your hair always been so long? Had you always been so in shape or had you started going to the gym? Did your profile always looked so lovely and he had just been too blind to realize it?

“What?” you finally said as you turned to head outside and noticed Tom staring at you.

“Oh, nothing”, he blushed. “You look gorgeous.”

It was your time to blush. “Thanks, Tom.”

He didn’t look so bad himself, with his jeans, black t-shirt and flannel shirt that he hadn’t buttoned up.

You headed toward the stairs as a tension you wasn’t expecting filled the air. What was going on?

On your way to the pub, you chattered a bit, but it seemed the flow in which you had been earlier had dried. You felt shy and apparently Tom did too because he kept running his hand through his hair and his cheeks were constantly tinted with pink. But it was fine. Awkward but fine because you were with Tom. Where I am supposed to be.

The pub was a bit over-crowded, but Harry, Sam, Liz and Haz had come there sooner and had saved you seats at a booth. Harry, Liz and Sam were all sitting on the same side and you were forced to sit next to Harrison, who threw his arm around your shoulder to hug you loosely, like a brother would have. Oh how you had missed him too.

Everybody asked for news from you, although nothing had changed. You still worked at Nando’s, you were newly single, you still didn’t know what you wanted to study in college… But it felt good to be chattering with them.

You asked news from all of them too. Sam and Harry told you about their trip in Australia, Sam told you about France and his girlfriend. Haz told you about Catch-22. At some point it felt like everybody was giving you a lecture on their life for the last year. You joked that they should have made Powerpoints and Tom choked on his beer as he laughed.

“Careful there, we wouldn’t want our Spider-Man to die before he can relive”, you said and everybody started laughing.

“Oi, what tells you I’m really dead, darling”, Tom chuckled.

“Watch your spoilers, Thomas”, you replied.

He laughed again. “I didn’t spoil anything, Y/N.”

You giggled and took another sip of your beer only to realize it was empty. “Fuck, gotta go get another drink”, you stated.

You pushed Tom in his side so he’d let you get out of the booth. He got up and you wiggled out of the booth before heading to the bar. Halfway there you realized you had to pee so you went to the bathroom first. As you flushed your toilet, you heard two girls entering the lady’s room and your heart stopped in your chest at the sound of one the voices.

Maybe it was just your imagination. Life couldn’t be as cruel as to do this to you right now, when you were still so vulnerable.

You took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to get out and you opened the door. You recognised her, even from behind and your heart break in your chest. The alcohol in your blood told you to beat the living shit out of her but you froze like a deer in headlights.

She turned around and it seemed to take her a hundred years to do so. But when her eyes rested upon you, her expression changed from laughing to a cold stare in a matter of seconds.

Emily shoved passed you, bumping her shoulder into yours. Her friend looked at you, her eyes almost icier than Emily’s eyes had been. You quickly washed your hands and left the lady’s room hurriedly. You headed straight to the bar: you needed another drink to forget what had just happened.

The moment the bottle of beer fell into your hand you took a swig of it. The bitter liquid rolled on your tongue but you swallowed it nonetheless. It took you two other swallows before you realized that the fact Emily was there probably meant Finn was too.

“Hey, easy there”, said a male voice as he rested a hand on the small of your back.

Your heart stopped in your chest, so painfully and he took you all the courage in the world to turn your head toward the boy. It was Tom. Only Tom. Your heart started to beat again and you breathed out the breath you didn’t know you had been holding in.

“Are you alright?” he asked, taking a hold of the bottle of beer you were about to drink from again.

“Hey, I paid for that”, you whined as he rested it on the bar, out of your reach.

“Yeah, well you’ve had enough”, Tom said. “You’ve never been one to chug a beer, what are you doing?”

You heard a laugh. A crystal clear laugh that cut deep into your core like only a knife could. It actually was sharper than any knife and to be honest it took you everything you had not to collapse right then and there. Perhaps the fact Tom was there, his hand on the small of your back, kept you from falling.

Emily and Finn stopped next to you, right in your blind spot. But you knew they were there, you heard her laugh and the smooshing of their kiss.

You turned your head ever so slowly, even though you didn’t want to. You couldn’t stop.

Finn was currently saying something in Emily’s ear and she shot you daggers with her eyes. She then turned her face toward Finn and they started kissing heatedly right next to you.

Your eyes filled with tears and you ran. You ran through the crowded pub that you couldn’t even see through your tear-filled eyes, you ran into the street, into the rain. You ran toward your home, until you were out of breath. Only then did you stop, and you started crying. Your tears mixed with the rain on your cheeks. You put your hands over your face, not wanting anyone to see you crying.

“Hey, Y/N, you alright?” Tom said, embracing you.

You hid your face in his chest. He smelled good, his cologne reminding you of times when you fell asleep on his chest while you were watching a movie all cuddled up. It was soothing and it felt like home. Because home had never been that apartment where you lived alone, it rather was the arms of the boy next door that you had known for half of your life.

You sobbed for a moment, as he was rubbing your back softly. When you calmed down, you raised your head to look at him.

“I’m sorry”, you breathed.

“Hey, it’s okay”, he whispered back. “Don’t worry about it.”

“It was Finn and… and…” A fresh tear rolled down your cheek as the words got caught up in your throat.

“I know, I know”, he said softly. “Let’s get back home, shall we?”

You almost whispered that you already were home but you didn’t. The rain doubled up and you watched as Tom’s hair stuck to his forehead.

You nodded your head and Tom grabbed your hand, pulling you ever so gently toward your flat. You walked in silent, Tom’s thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand. You climbed the stairs to your flats together and Tom guided you toward his door. Not yours. And somehow you knew that was how it was meant to be. Home was with him, right? Or was that just the alcohol in your blood?

You understood his decision when a wagging tail greeted you.

“Tess”, you said with a croaked voice.

You got down to hug her as she licked the salt of your tears away. Or perhaps was that only the rain. And to be honest, the minute you had seen her you had felt better. Dogs had always been able to cheer you up in a way nobody else ever could. Except maybe those brown puppy eyes.

“Do you want to change into something more comfortable?” Tom asked gently.

You raised your head to shot him a look. “Depends what your definition of comfortable is.”

He chuckled. “Do you want one of my t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants?”

“Yeah, that’s a definition I like.”

This time he laughed for real and walked to the bedroom to get you the clothes. While you were waiting for him, you looked around his apartment, really taking a look for the first time since last year. Earlier today, you had been caught up in his eyes too much to realize he had a couple of new fan arts scattered around the living room and lots of Spider-Man stuff you had never seen before. Tom was such a nerd.

He came back from his room a moment later, himself changed into a pair of sweatpants along with the t-shirt he had worn under his flannel earlier.

“What are you looking at?” he asked, a small tint on his cheeks.

“Do you really need this many Spider-Man figures?” you enquired.

He laughed. “Yeah, to make sure everybody remembers who I am.”

“How many people come in here, Tommy?” you asked as you walked to him to grab the clothes from his hands. “Like five people, all of them being family?”

“Well, I’ve got friends too, darling”, he said. “You, for instance.”

You smiled softly. It felt good to hear him calling you his friend.

“Gonna go change in the bathroom”, you said.

He nodded his head and you walked around him to get to the bathroom. You heard him plopping himself down on the couch, his almost inaudible voice telling you he was talking to Tessa. Such a div.

When you walked back to the living room, you saw he had turn the TV on and he was laying underneath a blanket. Another one was waiting for you on the other couch.

You went to sit on the couch but then something stopped you. You turned toward Tom.

“Can we cuddle?” you asked with the smallest voice. “Like old times?”

“Like old times”, Tom replied after a moment, moving so you could sit next to him.

Now, he knew he had won you back. This had been easier than he had expected. Or maybe it was just the alcohol, he couldn’t get his hopes too high too soon.

He put on the Ragnarok movie, knowing it would cheer you up. And he hadn’t watched it with you yet, he wanted to see how you would laugh half of the time. He wanted to hear you laugh, he wanted to forget how badly he had wanted to kill Finn earlier. If you hadn’t run away, he would have. But he had decided to follow you instead, because you needed him more than Finn deserved to get beaten bloody.

Tom kissed the top of your head as you found your place against his body and he put the blanket on top of both of you. He snaked one of his arms around you, pulling you closer. You sighed contently as he rested his chin on top of your head.

“I’m so glad you’re here”, he whispered as the movie started.

You put one hand on his arm and started tracing figures with your fingertips, ever so slowly.

“Thank you”, you said softly. “Thank you for deciding to come to Richmond Park today.”

“I couldn’t help myself”, he admitted. “I’ve missed you so much.”

For a moment, bitterness wanted to ruin the moment by seeping into your mind but you took a deep breath. Now wasn’t the time to feel bitter about the past. Maybe Tom had only been back for a day, but it had been amazing to have him back. And to have him when you needed him, at the pub. Now was the time to feel thankful that life had put him back on your path.

“Me too, Tom, me too”, you whispered.

“You know, the things you said last year…” Tom softly said.

Suddenly, you felt uncomfortable. You had hoped he wasn’t going to mention it but no, of course he had to. You had ruined everything by telling him about your feelings.

“It took me a fucking lot and I understand if you don’t feel the same way anymore and I know it’s probably way too soon to tell you this but I loved you too”, Tom said.

What?

“I felt empty for months and it took me way too long to realize it was because I loved you and couldn’t stand not having you in my life anymore”, he continued. “That’s the reason why I broke up with Sarah.”

Your heart beat slowed down to find that rhythm to which it had beaten before everything and you felt calm for the first time in a year.

“And if we’re to be friends again I wanted you to know”, he concluded.

Suddenly, you couldn’t remember the pain you had felt because of Finn earlier. It had dissipated into thin air. You couldn’t feel the grief you had felt for a whole year as you were far from Tom. You weren’t cold anymore, the sun was finally warming you with its golden rays.

“Tommy”, was all you could breathe out.

“Hell, I shouldn’t be in love with you, not after all this time but I still am”, he added.

And just like that all your pieces were finally put back to place.

“What?” you breathed.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that”, he apologized.

You propped yourself on one of your elbows and you turned your head to look at him.

“No, it’s okay”, you said. “I just… I can’t believe you’re telling me this after all this time.”

“You deserved to know”, he said. “I know it doesn’t make everything I did fine and nothing will ever change it, but yeah, you deserved to know.”

You deserved to know and you needed to hear it. You smiled softly. Truly, all you had needed were those brown eyes to forget about Finn. Perhaps Finn had been right: you had definitely loved Tom all along.

And now you were with him and he loved you too. Maybe you hadn’t forgiven him yet but at least he was there.

You lied back down on the couch, cuddling into him as much as you could and he wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. It warmed your heart in a hundred different ways, all of them feeling better than the others.

After all, this was your home. Tom was your home. With him by your side, it could rain all it wanted but that didn’t stop your sun from shining down on you.

 Taglist: (tagging both of my taglist again)

           Again you imagined the man going up the ladder, walking all the way from the hearth and then to the curtains. Why he had decided to hide in the curtains you had no idea. Your nightmare came back to your mind and again you shivered, fear seeping into your bones. It had been a reality: someone had really been standing in your bedchamber. Why, that was hard to know why, but you remembered well than enough what Sir Frostyr had said the day before. I swear my blade will taste your blood someday. What if it had been him?

           It couldn’t have been him, he was in a cell somewhere in the dungeons. He was to be executed today, he couldn’t have come to harm you during the night. And that couldn’t be him, the man hadn’t even tried to hurt you. He had only… Whatever.

“I want these tunnels to be all explored”, Lord Blackfyre commanded. “I want to know exactly where they lead.”

           The three men nodded. The captain of the guard asked for torches and you watched as a servant went to get those on each sides of your door.

           Lord Blackfyre turned toward you and walked in your direction. You had been sitting on your bed all along, feeling too weak to get up. Too scared.

           Namila had been the one to discover the passageway and the torn curtains, when you had rang her bell earlier. You hadn’t opened your eyes yet, you were still drunk with sleep. What if the man had still been there…

“We shall attend the Council meeting”, Lord Blackfyre told you. “We’ll discuss this matter with your father, and we’ll find new quarters for you until we know where those tunnels lead and who came in your sleep.”

“Good, my lord”, you replied courteously, your voice dripping with fear.

           You sounded so weak. You took a deep breath: a princess couldn’t appear weak. You had to be strong, stronger than ever.

           Lord Blackfyre kindly offered you his arm before you started walking away from your chambers, away from the fear. Each steps you felt better. Until it came to your mind that there might be hidden passageways everywhere in the castle, for all you knew. The thought was terrifying.

           The Council meeting was being held in its usual room, above the audience chamber. You climbed the winding staircase, Lord Blackfyre behind you. When you reached the top, you noticed everyone was already there.

“You are late”, your father stated as your eyes trailed to the prince.

           He had a soft smile on his lips, a smile that didn’t linger long when he saw your expression. He seemed to want to ask what was going on, but Lord Blackfyre talked first.

“We apologize, your Grace”, he said. “Someone infiltrated the princess’s bedchamber during the night.”

           Your father stared blankly at you, reactionless. It took him almost a whole minute to process what his right hand had just said.

“Someone infiltrated Y/N’s chambers?” he repeated.

“Yes”, Lord Blackfyre replied. “He came from the tiles in front of the hearth, beneath which there was a hidden passageway. He tore the curtains from their hinges when he…”

           Lord Blackfyre stopped talking, shooting you a look. He probably didn’t want to say the words, not in front of you. Master Emon had said them enough this morning, you weren’t scared to hear them again. But you didn’t tell them, you preferred to ignore it.

           Your eyes trailed back to the prince, who looked extremely worried.

Today he was wearing a leather jerkin on top of a dark red tunic. His sword was on his hip, the hilt was made of gold, with dark rubies set in the extremity of the pommel.

“I’ve already ordered for the tunnels to be explored”, Lord Blackfyre continued. “We shall find where they lead and then we’ll figure what needs to be done with them.”

“We’ll get them sealed”, your father said. “Please take place, we have more urgent matters to discuss.”

           More urgent matters to discuss? You could have been murdered in the middle of the night and your father didn’t even consider it an urgent matter?

“Excuse me, your Grace”, the prince said. “I think this matter is urgent enough.”

           For half a moment your father stared at the prince. He was being way too bold, this was dangerous.

“And what should we discuss more about it?” your father asked. “The tunnels are to be explored.”

“Where should the princess stay during the searches?” the prince asked. “What’s the price on the man’s head for infiltrating her quarters and doing whatever he did? Should he be executed when he’s caught or shamed publicly?”

“My prince”, you suddenly said, cutting his repetitive questions.

           Your father was going to have his tongue cut if he asked a question more, you knew it by the way the king was tensed.

“That matter doesn’t concern you, prince Thomas”, your father said after he had shot you a warning glance for you to stay silent. “We shall discuss it later, when you’ll be gone.”

“As it pleases you, your Grace”, the prince said.

           Tom looked at you and you smiled to him. A smile exempt of any happiness. It was all you could do not to start crying. And you didn’t want him to see you crying. Only Harrison could be with you in your moments of weakness.

“Now, everyone sit down”, your father ordered.

           You walked to your seat and sat down. The prince was sitting two chairs to your left, far from your father, who was sitting at the end of the table. Lord Blackfyre was beside him, then came Dazhio Gavinzh, Lord Talenta and Master Emon’s empty chair.

Gavinzh was the crown’s secretary. A rich spices’ merchant that had converted himself into one of your father’s counsellors when they had met years ago. That man could find gold where others would only find death and rats. He owned most of the city’s businesses, everything ranging from the brothels by the port to the bank in the Southern suburbs, where the rich lived. Every merchant in the Market of the Four Seasons paid him a tax just to have the right to sell their goods in the market, every farmer had to give him a part of the money they made by selling their food in the Market.

Lord Talenta was at the top of the armies. He was your father’s counsellor regarding war and conquest. He was the one fueling your father’s thirst for conquest. He had also been the one to suggest to have you betrothed to the prince of the Golden Islands to make sure they weren’t going to rebel against your father. He was an old and seasoned soldier, he had come from scraps until he became one of the most powerful man in the South. He had fought with your father in their first battle, when your father’s father was still the king. King Baeloy. The battle was the battle of the Sand, fought against the tribes living in the desert between the eastern cities and Azkapoor.

“Today we were supposed to discuss what the winner of the Tourney was supposed to win”, your father began. “Now we know he’s going to win his own drowning. Now, we shall decide what to do with the money Gavinzh has collected.”

“The castle’s stables are in dire need of renovation”, Lord Blackfyre said. “I say we use the gold to tend to them.”

Gavinzh tsked. “My gold won’t be used for something as pointless as renovating stables. Perhaps it should be of better use to build the ships you have promised to my merchants.”

“Or maybe we could use it to avenge Sir Ryser”, Lord Talenta added too.

Your father raised both of his hands. “I want counsels, not demands.”

           Everybody stayed silent for a moment.

“The gold shall be divided in two”, your father decided. “One half will be used for the stables, the other to build a ship for the merchants.”

“And what’s going to the army?” Lord Talenta asked.

“The gold from the taxes all goes to the army”, your father stated. “In times of peace it is more than enough.”

           Your father shot a look to the Northerner’s prince before adding:

“Gavinzh, the crown will need a quarter of the total more. I want to have new swords made, as well as armours. Although we are in peace, we shall make sure our army is still well-equipped.”

           You could almost feel the prince shaking his head.

“Now that the matter is settled”, your father said, “I think there’s something more the princess wanted to discuss.”

           All eyes turned toward you. For a moment you felt little under the stares, but then you took a deep breath and put a mask on. Princesses didn’t show their weaknesses.

“My lords”, you began, “I wanted to discuss an alliance with the North, and hence why I’ve asked the prince to attend the meeting.”

“Princess”, your father said, a warning tone in his voice.

           You had to hurry. You had to tell them your suggestion before you lost your courage.

           If not for the wine last night, you knew you wouldn’t have been able to sleep at all. The perspective of asking something like that to the Council had scared you more than anything. But it was the best option you had. Do it for Harrison, you reminded yourself.

“A wedding with the North would seal such an alliance”, you blurted. “I suggest that we end my betrothal with the Golden Islands’ prince to wed me to the Northerner’s prince instead.”

“That is not for you to suggest”, you father said, his fist hitting the mahogany table.

“Father, my King, let me explain how this alliance would be profitable for us”, you pleaded.

           You exchanged a long look with him and not once did you look away. Looking away would mean losing before you had even begun. You stared until it became awkward, until Lord Talenta coughed and Gavinzh scrapped his throat. You stared until your father looked down at his fist, still resting on the table. You had won.

“Many advantages would come from an alliance with the North”, you began, getting up to stand on the other side of the table, where everyone could see you.

           A true ruler you had become, in less than a heartbeat.

“Commercially, the North has a lot of goods we can’t really get over here”, you said. “Especially food. An alliance with them means we never would have to fear another drought like the one that happened three years ago. We could import food from there, wheat for the bread and the mead. We could buy some cattle for our livestock, in order to diversify the food we eat. Perhaps some chicken for their eggs too.”

“My lady”, Gavinzh said with his suave voice, “my merchants can already bring half of these stuff. They already bring mead here and wheat for the windmills outside of the city.”

“But not enough”, you stated. “The people don’t have access to these stuff. The mead can only be drunk in the castle or in some of the inns in the Southern suburbs. And the bread is even rarer.”

           You paused, expecting Dazhio Gavinzh to say something else, but he remained silent.

“And the North could benefit from the alliance commercially too”, you added. “If I’m not mistaken, they need obsidian for their weapons. And we have plenty of it in the volcanos in the South and on the Fire Isle. And Lord Gavinzh, your merchants will have access to a bigger market. They could sell their spices in the North too.”

           The dark-skinned man laughed, shaking his head.

“And how would they get to the North?” he asked. “Through the Mermaid Sea?”

“It’s time we stop letting superstitions stop us from trading with the North”, you said. “And the Stony Road will always exist anyway. The caravans could go up to the West Gate and even farther.”

The merchant nodded his head. “Fair point, princess.”

           You smiled. You had convinced one of the four men sitting at the table.

           You were glad that the priest wasn’t there. You knew he would be the hardest to convince about an alliance. But as your eyes trailed over the table, you noticed the empty seat right next to the prince. Sir Ryser’s seat. And for a moment your blood stopped in your veins, but you took a deep breath and your uneasiness passed.

“Apart from that, we could use the Mounted Soldiers”, you continued. “If the Dragon People are to invade us like they seem to want to do, with all the raids on the Eastern border, then riders would be more than necessary to defeat them in battle.”

“The Dragon People won’t invade us”, Lord Talenta stated.

“The princess is right”, Lord Blackfyre said. “They are growing restless with each passing year.”

“But they won’t invade us”, Lord Talenta reaffirmed. “They wouldn’t make it through the desert. The Valalka is the biggest desert in the known world, they would die in their steel armours, cooked by the sun, way before they reached us here.”

“What about Galios? And Thazaln?” you asked. “Both of the cities aren’t so far from the frontier. And like it or not, they are part of the South. It’s our duty to protect them. And the Dragon People could always go along the Mermaid Sea and destroy Dalahlam and Meryndel. Maybe the Garelns are only some distant cousins but we still owe them protection.”

“Perhaps we do”, Lord Talenta admitted. “But we could beat the Dragon People without the North. The Golden Islands’ people are fierce warriors. We need only ask for their soldiers and they’ll give them to us. As long as you stay betrothed to their prince.”

“Lord Talenta”, you said. “They are a barbaric people who barely see the difference between allies and foes. They plunder the cities they go to, they rape the women and they sacrifice the children to their Blood God. Do we really want to count them as friends?”

“It’s better to count them as friends than enemies”, your father interjected.

           This wasn’t going the way you wanted it to go. You searched for something else to say, but suddenly nothing came to your mind. Until an idea popped up.

“Lord Blackfyre”, you said, directing your entire attention to him. “Unifying the North and the South would mean that your son could come home here.”

           Your father’s right hand looked at you, a glimmer of hope behind his eyes. But the words he spoke were against that hope.

“Princess, Olivan has been dead to me from the day we lost the Battle of the West Gate”, he said.

           You had lost. You knew it from the way every men in front of you avoided your pleading gaze. You looked at the prince, the only one who still had his eyes on you. And they were sorry. You didn’t want him to be sorry, you wanted him to say something, to convince the Council that the alliance was the thing to do.

“Prince Thomas, don’t you have something to say about this?” you asked. “Don’t you agree that an alliance would benefit both of our people?”

He glanced at your father before nodding his head. “I do agree. The North is more than ready to forgive the South for the attempted invasion that happened years ago. When I came here, I came with words of peace from my father. The King of the North wanted me to suggest an alliance with your people, King Faylios. A betrothal would seal the alliance and would make sure that both of our kingdoms would prosper in peace from now on.”

Your father chuckled. “See, Y/N, I knew he was scheming against the South.”

“Against?” you exclaimed. “I beg your pardon father but he’s ‘scheming’ for the South as well as for his kingdom. An alliance would benefit both of the kingdoms.”

“It would mean a war with the Golden Islands”, your father said coldly. “Don’t play the game of war when you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Your Grace”, the prince interjected, “you wouldn’t need to fear a war with the Golden Islands if the alliance was to be made. My father never forgets who his friends are. He would send to you all the men you’d need.”

“I don’t fear a war with them, prince Thomas”, your father declared. “Not one bit. I’ve beat them once, I can easily do it again. It’s trusting a people like yours that I fear.”

“May I ask why?” you asked.

“More than once in old and recent history we have tried to unify the North and the South”, your father stated. “It never worked. Each time the North stabbed us in the back.”

“Each time? Beg your pardon most of the time the South was the one to break the alliances”, the prince interjected, his tone venomous.

           Everybody started talking at the same time and you just watched them, not knowing what to do. Soon enough your father’s voice boomed over the others.

“I won’t make the same mistakes our ancestors did.”

           Silence fell upon the room and just like that you knew you had lost. The alliance would never happen.

           The silence lingered for a long moment, only interrupted when a guard appeared at the top of the winding stairs.

“Your Grace, my lords, princess”, he said between ragged breaths. “I’ve come here as fast as I could.”

“How dare you interrupt a Council meeting?” your father asked with his iciest tone. “I’ll have your tongue for that.”

“Father”, you said, “let the man speak. Everyone knows the consequences of interrupting a Council meeting, he wouldn’t have come here without a good reason.”

           The guy thanked you with his gaze and you nodded to him respectfully.

“Your Grace, I’m the messenger of bad news”, he declared.

“How come?” your father asked.

“Sir Frostyr’s cell has been found empty this morning, when the gaoler went to bring him his breakfast”, the guard told you.

           Your blood turned cold in your veins. That meant Sir Frostyr could be anywhere right now, on his way to murder you. A cold drop of sweat rolled down your spine as fear seeped into you, so deep you could only picture him, over you while you slept. It was him, it had to be him. Who else would have come to watch you sleep in the middle of the night?

           Your father’s head turned slowly to the prince, who was pale as the winter’s moon.

“You”, your father spat. “You have freed the murderer from his cell.”

“No, I swear, your Grace, it wasn’t me”, the prince affirmed.

“You came here, under my roof, under the pretext of an alliance when all you wanted to do was to bring chaos to us”, your father growled.

“Your Grace, no…”

“I declare war to the North”, your father said as he rose from his chair. “By sunset, if there is still a single Northerner in Azkapoor he’ll be drowned.”

“Your Grace, this is madness”, Lord Blackfyre declared.

“The only madness there is is that this stupid prince is still here, under my gaze”, your father growled.

“Father”, you tried to say but when he glanced at you the words died in your throat.

“Be gone, Thomas and be quick about it”, your father said. “My army will be on your heels.”

           Tom rose from his chair. He glanced at you and there was fear in his gaze. You wanted to tell him that everything was going to be fine but you knew nothing would be fine ever again. In times of war nothing was ever fine.

“Farewell, princess”, Tom said, his eyes on you.

           Tears pricked at your eyes. You didn’t want him to go. Not like this. You wanted to be able to tell him that this was just a nightmare and that the alliance would work. That you could be together and that Harrison could go home. That’s when it hit you: Harrison was a Northerner, he had to leave too if he didn’t want to get killed.

           The prince started to walk toward the winding stairs when you realized your best friend was going to die if you didn’t do anything.

“Prince Thomas”, you called and Tom turned to look at you. “Don’t forget Harrison.”

           He nodded and you noticed his Adam’s apple moving when he swallowed.

“I won’t, princess”, he said before turning around and walking down the stairs.

           The silence that ensued was so thick it could have been cut with a knife. The guard followed the prince not so long after, scared that the king really did mean what he had said about his tongue. He was going to spread the words of the war everywhere in the castle, but there was nothing you could do about it.

           You stood in front of the table for a moment, watching how the men in front of you seemed to fear what had just happened. Except Lord Talenta. He seemed ecstatic about the perspective of a war.

           Lord Blackfyre, on the other hand, had what seemed to be tears in his eyes. You knew damn well why: his son was going to die. But maybe, just maybe the prince would show mercy and ask for the hostage to be returned to the South. After all, Harrison was going to go back to the North, it would only be fair to let Lord Blackfyre’s son go.

“Lord Talenta, bring the news to the army”, your father said, his words echoing in the silent chamber. “Gavinzh, get every ship you can ready. We’ll go by water to the West Gate.”

           That meant he was going to make it before the prince and his horses. Which meant Tom and Harrison would never make it to the North, thirty men and a court stood no chance against an army.

“Lord Blackfyre, call for the banners”, your father added. “The Garelns, the Basyars, the Jiiengs, everybody. And send a message to the Golden Islands. We’ll need their men too.”

“It’ll take months before everyone arrives here”, Lord Blackfyre stated.

“Oh, I know”, your father said. “But I don’t plan on telling the North of this. They’ll know once we’ll have stormed the West Gate. I plan on taking the castle and ruling from there during the war. And the banners won’t assemble here, but at Lylas.”

           Lylas was the city on the South’s side of the West Gate.

“Your Grace, father”, you said with a small voice. “Don’t you remember what happened the last time you tried to storm the Gate?”

“I do, Y/N, I do”, he said. “But the Northerners only won because they knew we were coming. This time they won’t.”

“This goes against the laws of war”, you stated.

“I don’t care about these laws”, your father said. “You’re lucky I’m not killing every Northerners before they left the city.”

“This is madness”, you said, an echo of Lord Blackfyre’s earlier words.

“Shut up, you insolent bitch”, your father exploded.

           He walked to you and you saw him raise his hand. There was nothing you could do. You raised your arms to try and protect yourself, but your father’s hand was faster.

           It wasn’t the first time your father had struck you. But it was the first time he had struck you so hard. Your cheek stung and you felt dizzy but you kept your head held high, defying your father with your tears-filled gaze.

“I should have your tongue for being so insolent to me”, he spat. “You have changed in the last couple of days, Y/N, and I won’t let this be unpunished. I’m sending you to the Fire Isle.”

           You remembered the pictures you had seen in the massive book Master Emon had brought to your geography lesson. The Fire Isle was a lonely rocky island, halfway between Azkapoor and the Golden Islands. The island wasn’t very big and most of it was a volcano so high it got lost in the clouds on stormy days. The only other thing that could be found on the island was a single tower that used to be an outpost to know if the people from the Golden Islands were on their way to invade Azkapoor, as they had tried hundreds of time.

“No”, you refused.

           You imagined yourself living in a lonely tower, your only companion the sound of the waves hitting the rocky shore and the sound of the hammers echoing in the mines under the mountain. You didn’t want to live that life.

Queen Lysanalia had lived and died in that tower and legends said we could still hear her wailing in the night, screaming for her lost son. You didn’t believe in ghosts but the perspective of living in a renowned haunted place didn’t bring you any joy.

“It is not a choice of yours to make”, your father stated. “I’m the king and you’ll go to the Fire Isle no matter if you want it or not.”

           You looked down at your feet, knowing there was nothing you could do to convince your father not to ship you off to the tower. He had become mad.

“Get out of my sight, now”, your father ordered.

           And you obeyed. You walked to the winding stairs, not once glancing at your father’s counsellors whose eyes were on you. And as you walked down the stairs, an idea popped in your mind. Suddenly, you didn’t feel as bad as you had before. Everything was going to be alright.

           You walked to your quarters as fast as you could, only to remember half way what had happened there during the night. You couldn’t go there. You turned around, knowing a single other place where you could go right now.

Your usual guard hadn’t followed you this morning to the Council’s chamber, which meant he wasn’t following you at the moment. Nobody would know. They would realize it at some point but for the moment you were good. And you had until sunset…

You didn’t knock on Harrison’s door when you got to his room, you stormed in. Harrison was packing his stuff in a saddle bag.

“Princess, what are you doing here?” he asked, stopping what he was doing just to shoot you a look.

“I’m coming with you”, you declared. “I’m not staying here a moment more.”

           Now he stopped moving for good and he stared at you. He couldn’t believe what you had just said. His hand was halfway to his waist, holding his sword belt.

“What?” he said.

A small smile formed on your lips. “I’m coming with you.”

           He put the sword belt down on the bed before walking to you.

“Your father struck you again”, he whispered as he reached for your cheek, his fingers grazing your skin gently.

           Still it hurt you. You winced and his eyebrows furrowed.

“He struck you hard this time, didn’t he?” he asked.

You nodded your head as he gently cupped your cheek. Your eyes found his gaze, full of adornment.

“I’m glad you are coming with us”, he breathed.

           Your heart warmed in your chest as his eyes trailed to your lips and then back to your eyes.

“I guess nobody will kill me if I do this, then”, he whispered.

           He slowly leaned in and your eyes fluttered close. His lips found yours and he kissed you. It was all clumsy, your noses getting in the way until you turned your head to the side.

           It felt good to kiss him, like coming home. Nothing like kissing the prince. Kissing Tom was a raging fire while kissing Harrison was a calm stream of water in a forest. Nonetheless, your heart still beat a little faster, your belly warming too. Somehow your hands found his chest, resting flatly against it, feeling the steady beats of his heart underneath your palms.

           When you pulled away, your eyes found his and you watched how soft his features were.

“I’m sorry, I had to do this at least once”, he whispered.

“It’s fine, Harrison”, you breathed.

           When he walked back to the side of his bed, you felt cold for a moment, but the feeling passed. You were leaving, leaving with him and the prince. There wasn’t any reasons to feel cold.

           The thought of leaving Azkapoor was exhilarating. It would be your first time out of the city. And you weren’t going to be leaving in your litter like a princess, but rather on a horse’s back as an outlaw. You wondered what your father would do. He would probably look everywhere in the castle and the city before he’d even think you would have left the city. Because that meant being a traitor to him and even though he had turned mad, he would never think that you were a traitor.

           About that, you had to find a way to beat your father to the West Gate or perhaps the North. You already had an idea, but it was going to be dangerous, extremely dangerous.

“Do you have any other clothes than this, princess?” Harrison asked. “People will recognize you in your flowing silks.”

“I don’t”, you said. “I’d need something Northerner.”

“And a cloak with a hood, to hide your face”, Harrison added.

           There was a knock on the door and you turned around. You hoped with all your heart that it wasn’t a guard or a Southerner. You didn’t want to be caught before you even left the city.

           Harrison walked to the door, nodding to you to go hide in the corner of the room. When you were pretty much out of sight from the door, he opened it. Thankfully it was only Tom.

           You remembered Harrison’s lips on yours and for a moment your cheeks burned. That’s something you should never tell the prince. Especially not now that you were leaving with them. You didn’t want things to get awkward.

           Tom walked in the room and he caught sight of you the moment Harrison shut the door.

“Princess?” he said.

“Hey, Tom”, you softly said.

“Why are you here?” he asked.

“I’m leaving with you”, you told him. “My father has gone mad and he wants to ship me off to the Fire Isle.”

“Princess, coming with us is dangerous”, he said. “We’re at war now.”

           Tom’s reaction disappointed you a bit. You had expected him to be happy, not to look sad.

“And I’m planning on ending that war”, you said. “If we marry, the alliance will be sealed. I could be at the head of the army that will face my father’s at the West Gate.”

“I beg your pardon princess but I don’t think that you being at the head of an army would stop your father”, the prince stated.

“It’s our only chance to avoid the war”, you affirmed. “My father will sail with the men he has in the city to reach the West Gate before you do. And he won’t send a bird to Londir to declare the war.”

“Which means we’ll die if we try to go through the West Gate”, Tom stated. “Your father would only need to wait for us as he’ll siege the Gate. Thirty of us won’t stand a chance against his army.”

           The prince looked distraught as realization came upon him.

“But there’s another way”, you said. “We’d reach Londir before he does. And the moment we’re in the North we will be able to send a bird to the capital.”

“Why don’t you ask the master to send one?” Tom asked. “He has to obey to you, right?”

“Not if my father commands him otherwise”, you admitted. “And I’m sure by now he has.”

Tom sighed. “Let’s hope the West Gate will hold long enough for us to reach the North then.”

“Have you ever heard about the Mermaid Sea?” you asked.

“No”, Tom refused. “I’m not sailing on that sea.”

“We don’t have a choice, Tom”, you said. “If we ride to Meryndel and then find a ship to cross the sea we’ll be in the North before the banners will have assembled at the West Gate. My father plans on waiting at the West Gate for them anyways. He wants to wait for the people of the Golden Islands and for the Jiiengs of Thazaln before he invades the North. He won’t do the mistakes he did the last time.”

“He didn’t even cross the West Gate the last time”, Tom stated. “How will he this time?”

“He’ll have the element of surprise”, you explained.

“True”, Tom said. “So let’s do this. How far is Meryndel from here?”

“Three weeks if we ride day and night”, you said. “We’ll have to go along the desert though, we can’t risk going into it.”

“Why?” Harrison asked.

           It was the first time he had talked in the whole conversation.

“Sand storms”, you explained. “And the tribes.”

“Right”, he said. “So, we’re doing this?”

           You watched the prince. He nodded his head and a smile formed on your lips. This was going to be the adventure of your life and you knew it.

“My prince, we need to find some proper garment for the princess if we don’t want someone to recognise her”, Harrison said.

           The prince nodded, saying he was going to find a cloak and that he’d borrow some travel clothes to one of the ladies who had come. When he left, Harrison and you stared at each other for a moment, both of you feeling shy because of what had happened earlier.

           The prince shouldn’t know. You were afraid of what he would think of you and you didn’t want him to refuse to marry you. You had to make sure your people were safe by stopping the war and the wedding was the key to it.

“We shall never tell the prince about what happened earlier”, you stated.

Harrison nodded his head. “Don’t worry about it, my mouth’s sealed.”

           You smiled to him, feeling thankful.

You waited for the prince to come back and when he did you got dressed while both of the boys were looking away. You put on a travel dress, which was opened on both sides of the legs so you could ride a horse. It was a dark brown, the simplest Tom could find. The cloak, on the other hand, was royal blue. A gold clasp attached it in the front so it wouldn’t fall off your shoulders.

“Are we ready?” you asked the boys when you were done getting dressed.

Both of them looked at you for a moment, not talking.

“Are we?” you repeated.

“Yes, we are, princess”, Harrison finally said. “Just pull the cloak over your head and we’ll make our way to the castle grounds. We need to make sure nobody recognizes you.”

           Once the cloak was over your head, your features hiding in the shadows of it, you left Harrison’s chambers, the two boys on each side of you.

           You kept your head low, looking at your feet to make sure nobody could see your face. Each step you took made your heartbeat increase. If a single person suspected that you were you, you were all going to die.

           It took what felt like hours to get to the castle grounds, where the rest of the Northerners were already waiting for you. All the horses were saddled. Harrison chose a bay mare and he hung his saddlebag to the saddle. You noticed how everybody seemed anxious and you understood them: the sun was getting low and they were all going to die if they weren’t out of the city walls before the sun kissed the horizon.

           Tom suggested that you ride with him on his black stallion and you refused. It would drag too much attention on him. You rather decided to ride with a knight you didn’t know, who said it was an honour to have you with him. Soon enough the Northerners put their heels in their horses’ flanks and the animals started moving forward.

           Tom and Harrison were at the top of the procession while you were lost somewhere in the middle of it. You didn’t say a word as the horses trotted to the city gates, keeping your head hidden behind the knight’s back. Some of the common people had already seen your face and they could have recognized you.

           Perhaps your father hadn’t realized already that you had disappeared because leaving the city didn’t prove to be difficult. The guards knew the Northerners were to leave and none of them thought of counting the number of riders there were.

           For the first time of your life you found yourself outside of the walls. You looked back to the city, watching it glimmering in the last rays of the sun. It truly was a jewel. For a moment you felt sad, wondering if you would ever come back here. You promised to yourself that you would, once the war will be done.

           When you were a couple of hundreds of meters from the city walls, the procession stopped. You peeked over the knight’s shoulder to see the prince and Harrison coming your way.

“Princess, do you know how to ride a horse?” Tom asked you as he pulled on his horse’s reins to stop next to you.

           Your eyes trailed to Harrison, who had a wicked smile on his lips. You remembered all the times you had ridden with him when you were still a young girl, not so long after he had come to the city. He had thought you how to ride, saying that riding a horse was something everybody ought to know.

“Of course I do, Tom”, you replied.

“Get this lady a horse of hers”, Tom shouted to the people at the end of the procession.

           That’s when you noticed that there were a couple of horses with no riders at the end. You wondered why.

           A man walked to you, pulling on the reins of a white horse. They stopped beside you. You got down of the horse you were riding with the knight. You offered your hand to your horse’s nostrils, so it could smell your hand. Its warm breath tickled your skin and you couldn’t help but to giggle a little. You caressed the side of its head and the animal put his forehead against your stomach, showing you that it had accepted you.

“How is it called?” you asked to the man who had brought it to you.

“She doesn’t have a name, my lady”, he said.

           You looked to the horse, who had eyes so pale they looked almost white.

“I’ll call you Freedom, is that okay?” you asked.

           The horse neighed softly and you laughed again.

“So Freedom it’ll be”, you said before climbing on its back.

You thanked the man before making your way to the top of the procession along with Tom and Harrison.

           In the distance you saw the forest appearing, slowly getting closer. You knew this road by heart, even if you had never seen it before. A couple of miles north there was a village with an inn and from there you could either ride northwest to the West Gate or you could go in the east to the desert and Meryndel. That’s where you were going to go.

           When you finally reached the forest, Tom, Harrison and you stayed on the side of the road to let the procession pass by. You watched the Northerners, how a few of them shot you questioning glances but you ignored them. You had pulled your hood down and they all could recognize you. But Tom had promised that you were going to be safe with them. You hoped he was right.

           As long as none of them wanted to avenge someone, you were going to be safe. You couldn’t help but to notice how a few of them stared at you for a little longer, making you feel uneasy. But Sir Frostyr wasn’t there and it was all that mattered.

           About that, you wondered who had released him during the night. You hoped it wasn’t one of the Northerners, although it would make sense that it was one of them. If it was, then you weren’t safe here. But you weren’t safe back in Azkapoor either, so what would it change? And now, you had both Tom and Harrison to protect you at all time, so what could go wrong?

           As the last of the Northerners entered the forest, your eyes trailed back to the white walls of Azkapoor for the last time. You hoped with all your heart that Sir Frostyr was still there. And then it hit you: it had been too easy to leave the city. If the guards had known that Sir Frostyr had escaped his cell, the city gates would have been shut and they would have interrogated everyone. What had your father told them for the guards to let you pass like that?

           You shivered, not because of the weather but because once again fear seeped into your bones. You weren’t quite sure that leaving the city was a good idea at all. It had been too easy, what if your father had known and he was using this as another reason to have a war with the North? What if he wanted to make the people believe that you had been kidnapped? He’d have the support of every Southerners now.

           Or worse. Your father could have told them that you were a traitor, and that they should treat you as a Northerner from now on. That was if he had realized that you were gone. Perhaps the people would even come to hate you if they thought you were a traitor.

           You took a deep breath. It was too late, there was no turning back now. As Tom and Harrison invited you to follow the procession, you shot a last look to the city. You hoped with all your heart that you had made the right decision when you had chosen to leave with the Northerners.

           Over there you had lived all your life and to watch it from afar, to watch the castle rising from the walls and the Great Cathedral on top of its hill from so far almost seemed as if the city was foreign to you.

You turned your head to see Tom waiting for you. You smiled to him, although a wave of nostalgia was drowning you. You were saying goodbye to the life you knew and although the perspective was thrilling, it also meant getting out of your comfort zone and you didn’t know if you were ready for it. But you didn’t have the choice.

           You gently put your heels in Freedom’s flanks and the mare started walking forward. Once the leaves were finally on top of your head, you tried to glance at the city for one last time, but you couldn’t see it anymore. Goodbye, you thought and you suddenly had to fight some tears. You blinked quickly a couple of times and the tears left.

           You were doing this for the sake of your people. You were doing this to stop an unnecessary war. Once you’ll be wed to the prince, you will have the strength to face your father’s army with your own. And there was no way your father could convince the Southerners to hurt their beloved princess. You had always been so kind to everyone, they had to know you weren’t a traitor. They had to see that your father had gone mad. If they didn’t, then all of this was pointless. All of this would only bring you to your own death. But at least it would be a death you had chosen, away from the lonely tower of the Fire Isle.

Read chapter 6 here!

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        Ever since you had been old enough to stand still for an entire day your father had asked you to attend to his audiences. Being the daughter of the Southerner king sounded cool until you found yourself stuck in an audience chamber, standing still in the hot and humid summer air, barely able to breathe because your corset was just a little too tight.

           You usually didn’t wear corsets. You had never liked them. Even though he knew that, your father forced you to wear one this morning, saying it was the ways of the Northerners and that you had no choice.

           The bird had come in late last night, announcing the arrival of the Northerner prince and his court. You were expecting them today around midday, but it was getting late in the afternoon and they still hadn’t arrived. You knew by the way your father was tensed on his throne that this was a bad thing. A really bad thing.

           The peace between the two kingdoms had always been fragile. The ways between the South and the North were just too different. According to your father, the Northerner were a serious people. They didn’t know how to have fun, they lived just to survive in the cold of their North. Your people was more frivolous. It helped to live in a region where the weather wasn’t trying to kill you each time you stepped outside.

           The capital of the South was situated on the coast of the Emerald Sea. Most of the kingdom consisted of isles in the sea but you had never been to them. As your father said, “a woman on a ship means a shipwreck in a week”. So you stayed on the continent in Azkapoor, the city of a thousand lights. The most beautiful city in the world according to your dad. It truly was beautiful. Everything was covered in rare precious stones. Every building had its own colour depending on where you were in the city. The rich had rubies and topazes on top of a gold coating, the poorest district had only quartz of a hundred different colours. The military district was covered in sapphires and emeralds and the castle was made of diamonds and all the other precious stones, nested in walls of glass or rocks coated in gold. When the sun was shining and it was most of the time, the city literally glimmered from a thousand lights. It was beautiful.

         Your father said the capital of the North was boring compared to Azkapoor. It was nestled in a valley between the Black Mountains and it was made of stones and marble. Nothing impressive compared to Azkapoor.

         It helped that Azkapoor was the richest city in the world. Not only because of your father but because a lot of merchants lived here. And with them came their fortune.

         There was the sound of a trumpet outside of the audience chamber and then the marshal entered the room, with a group of around thirty people behind him.

“The prince of the North, Thomas Stanley Holland, and his court”, the marshal announced as a young man started walking down the aisle toward the throne.

       You were currently standing on your father’s left, two feet behind the throne and you felt your blood stopping in your veins. Yes, your father had been the one to invite the Northerners to the tourney, but this young man was acting in a provocative way as he didn’t wait for her father to tell him to come to the throne. You held your breath as you noticed your father’s knuckles turning white as he clenched his fists.

        The young man stopped in front of the throne and smiled his brightest smile as all of his court bowed to show their respects to your father. The prince looked at them before sighing deeply and bowing.

“You can rise”, your father said in his coldest tone.

“It’s an honour to be here, your Grace”, the prince said with a velvety voice.

           His eyes went to you and for a moment you forgot how to breathe. He was handsome. Definitely one of the most handsome men you had seen in your life. His curly hair was dishevelled a bit, probably because of the wind outside, but it suited him well. His brown eyes were gorgeous as they shone when he smiled at you.

“I don’t recall my father mentioning you had such a lovely daughter”, he said as his eyes went back to your father.

“Show some respect”, Lord Blackfyre, your father’s right hand, hissed.

           The prince raised his hands.

“I meant no offence”, he replied. “I only speak the truth.”

“Enough”, your father intervened as you noticed Lord Blackfyre putting his hand on the pommel of his sword.

           During the entire interaction your eyes had been riveted on the prince’s eyes. The fact he thought you were lovely had made your heart go crazy and your cheeks turn red. You looked away when his gaze went back to you, a mischievous smile on his lips.

“My daughter is not yours to contemplate, Prince Thomas”, your father declared with a stern voice.

“Then why dress her like a Northerner?” the prince asked, his smile only growing wider.

“To show some respect you clearly are lacking”, your father answered.

“Why are we so serious, aren’t we here for a tourney?” the prince said, changing the subject.

           Good move. You knew by the way your father was tensed that the prince was risking his life by talking about you this way.

“The tourney begins tomorrow at dawn”, your father declared. “May the best knight in the Two Kingdoms win. Don’t miss the feast tonight.”

           Your father dismissed the audience and the Northerners left first, followed soon by your father’s own court.

“That kid is playing a dangerous game”, Lord Blackfyre said once everybody had left the room.

“If he says another word like that I’m cutting his tongue”, your father declared.

“It didn’t offend me, my King, nothing to be worried about”, you jumped in, regretting it immediately when your father turned to look at you, a dark look in his eyes.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion”, he said. “Did you forget who killed your brother?”

           You lowered your gaze to the ground, afraid your father was going to hit you for your insolence. You wanted to tell him you didn’t forget it, it was always there in the back of your mind, but you didn’t say a word.

          Ever since your brother’s death, your father had hated you with all his heart. Before that, he treated you well, even though he wasn’t necessarily loving. He had a son, he had no reason to despise the one that took his wife away. About that, your mother had died the day she had given birth to you. Your father never loved you because of that. It meant he couldn’t have other sons that could go on and take care of his kingdom when he would die.

          Now that his only heir was gone, your father hated you. He kept saying you were going to be the end of his kingdom because a woman couldn’t rule it.

           Your brother had died at the Battle of the West Gate, the same battle that had put an end to the War of the Two Kings. Your father had lost the battle and he had been forced by the Northerner King to make peace. They had signed a treaty saying both of the kingdoms were going to cohabit in peace from now on and that they were going to form an alliance. The Northerner King didn’t ask your father for anything, even though your father had been the one who had tried to invade the North. He only took Lord Blackfyre’s son as a hostage and in return your father had taken the king’s squire as a hostage. His name was Harrison Osterfield and you had grown up by his side, even though he was a couple years older than you. You hated to admit it but he had taken your brother’s place in your life.

“Let’s not let this get between us while the Northerners are here”, your father said. “They need to think that we are united.”

           You looked up from the ground, wondering if you had heard your father right.

“I don’t want those barbarians to think we are weak”, he continued. “We may have lost the war but we sure aren’t going to lose the tourney.”

           Your father’s pride had been deeply hurt when he had lost the war. You knew this tourney wasn’t about having fun, it was about showing to the Northerners he was stronger than them and that he could crush them if he wanted. You also knew that this was what your father wanted. He wanted to take revenge on them.

           You wondered if it was a mistake for the Northerners’ king to have sent his own son here. To your father’s eyes, there was no better revenge than to kill his enemy’s son, to give him a taste of his own medicine. 

“Y/N, go to your evening class with Master Emond”, your father ordered.

           You nodded your head, bowing slightly before leaving. One of your father’s guards followed you as you made your way up to the Southwest Tower. You couldn’t breathe correctly thanks to your corset, so you took your time climbing the stairs.

           When you got at the top, you joined Master Emond on the balcony where you usually took your classes. The guard stayed at the door to make sure no one was going to intrude on your lesson.

“Sit”, ordered old Master Emond as he was watching the city. “See the dust in the west?”

           You looked in the direction he pointed, squinting until you saw what seemed like a dust cloud.

“I think so”, you answered.

“It was caused by the passing of the Northerners”, he explained. “More precisely because of their horses.”

“Oh”, you said.

“Anyways, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about today.” The master grabbed a heavy book on the table to his left and gave it to you.

“The geography of the Two Kingdoms”, you read the title.

“We’re having a geography lesson today”, the master said.

You opened the book carefully, your fingertips grazing the maps that laid in front of your eyes.

“Where are we right now?” asked the master.

“Azkapoor”, you answered. “The capital of the South.”

“And what is the capital of the North?” Master Emond enquired.

           You hesitated as you searched through the book. You only knew it was nestled between some mountains, you had no idea how it was called. You found a map of the North and eventually your eyes rested upon the capital of the North.

“Londir”, you answered. “It’s between the Black Mountains.”

           The master nodded his head.

“Now, what lies between the North and the South?”

           You knew this answer all too well. You had heard a dozen of stories about that sea. The Mermaid Sea. Few were the sailors that dared sail its waters and fewer where the men that came back.

“The Mermaid Sea”, you said.

“Do you know where the Mermaid Sea’s name come from?”

           You shook your head.

“Legend says that in its depths lie a city greater than anything you had ever seen”, the master began. “It supposed to be more beautiful than Azkapoor. In this city lives a people. The mermaids. Half fish half human, those mermaids feast on man’s flesh. They have tamed a species of sea serpents and those serpents attack ships to sink them so the mermaids can feast on their crew.”

           A cold shiver went down your spine. It was just a legend but you had heard once that all legends come from a truth. The thought that there was something true in this story was scary.

“That is the reason why our people don’t sail its waters anyways”, said Master Emond. “We go on foot if we want to go north. Where do we need to pass if we want to get there?”

“By the West Gate”, you answered. Where my brother died.

“That is correct”, declared Master Emond.

           The geography lesson went like this until the sun set. When it did, Master Emond ended the lesson. You left him on the balcony. When you got out of his quarters, the guard that had waited for you followed you down the stairs. You walked to your own quarters in the western wing of the castle. Your father’s man stayed outside of your quarters, keeping guard in front of the door.

           You rang a bell, calling your servant to help you get out of your dress to get ready for the feast tonight. Namila arrived a moment later with a gown in her hands.

“Hi, my lady”, she said, bowing.

“Namila, you don’t have to bow for me, I told you a thousand times”, you laughed.

“Of course, sorry.” She smiled. “Your father has suggested that, and I quote him, ‘my daughter shouldn’t wear Northerners garment tonight or I’ll kill the boy.’ So I brought you this new dress.”

           She put it on your bed and your breath got caught up in your throat. It was a Southerner’s dress, which meant there wasn’t any corset (thank the gods) but instead a low V-neck. The dress was made of green silk and the silhouette of flowers was embroidered into it with a gold thread. It was soft to the touch and clearly not as hot as the one you were dressed with right now.

“Help me to get out of that corset”, you asked to Namila. “I’ll have to take a bath too, I sweated so much in that gown today.”

           Namila laughed. “Of course, my lady.” She started to unlace your gown and for the first time in hours you were able to take a deep breath.

“Thank gods”, you whispered underneath your breath.

“Your bath is already ready”, Namila told you. “I got it ready while you were still with Master Emond.”

           You liked your bath not too hot and Namila knew that. You walked to your bathroom and climbed down the stairs leading to the refreshing water. Your bath looked more like a small pool and you swam to your balcony overlooking the Emerald Sea. The moon was rising above the water, casting a silver glow on the waves.

           Namila had put some essential oils in the water and it smelled incredibly good.

“Do you need help to wash your hair, my lady?” asked the girl.

           You turned around and swam back to the staircase that led to the water.

“Yes, please”, you replied.

           You sat in the stairs as she started to wash your hair.

“Remember when we were little girls and you swam with me in my bath instead of helping me clean up?” you asked.

“Yes, I do”, she chuckled. “Your father was so mad when he found out about that.”

           You laughed at the memory of it. Namila was the closest thing to a friend you had had in your life. Well, she did was a friend. She and Harrison were practically your only friends. You had never liked the other noble girls, they all were jealous of you because you were a princess. Yes, being a princess was nice, but you didn’t like it that much. It was a complicated life.

“I’ve heard that the Northerner Prince said you looked good”, Namila said when she finished washing your hair.

“How did you hear this?” you asked, blushing.

“My friend Gina is seeing one of the guards and he told her”, she explained.

           That reminded you of how different your lives were. To see someone was so normal for people of her class. As a princess, you had never had the chance to see someone. You had never kissed a boy and of course you were still a maiden. You had to be a maiden for your father to be able to marry you. Last time he had talked to you about wedding, he had told you he had promised you to the prince of one of the isles he had conquered. You didn’t know when and you just hoped it wasn’t going to be soon. The perspective of getting married scared you more than anything. And you knew you would never be able to marry for love, you were just a pawn in your father’s chest game.

“What do you think of the prince?” Namila asked.

           For a moment you were confused. Had she heard your thoughts? You then remembered what you had been talking about a moment before.

“Thomas? He’s attractive, I guess”, you answered.

“Just attractive? He’s a prince, I’m sure he’s way more than attractive”, Namila said.

“I don’t know”, you laughed. “He’s a Northerner.”

“And? What does that change?” Namila asked.

           Again you were faced with how different your lives were. For you, the Northerners were the enemies. Well, to your father’s eyes they were. To yours, they were just… Northerners.

“His people killed my brother.”

“My lady, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to remind you of this”, Namila apologized.

“It’s fine, Namila, don’t worry.”

           You got out of the bath and she gave you a towel to dry yourself. You walked back to your main room, Namila behind you. She helped you to get into your gown and then you sat in the chair in front of your tall mirror. She braided your hair in the Southerner’s way. Your hair were long and the fishtail braid was caressing the skin of your back. Because of course the dress was opened in the back, in the Southerner’s way.

“You’re ready, my lady”, Namila declared.

           You stood up, admiring the view in the mirror. The gown was truly beautiful, definitely one of your favourites up to date.

“There’s going to have a lot of dancing tonight”, you told her. “I wonder if the Northerners will dance.”

“Dance with the prince!” Namila yelled excitedly.

“Perhaps I will”, you laughed. “If he’s like Harrison, he won’t be a good dancer though.”

           Namila laughed. “I hope he’ll be better, you’d look good with a prince by your side.”

           It was your turn to laugh. Yeah, perhaps I would but I don’t think my father would appreciate that.

           You left Namila in your room, hugging her to thank her for everything. You walked to the feast room, the guard behind you and joined your place at your father’s right. Lord Blackfyre was sitting in front of you and the Northerner prince was sitting by his side. You blushed when the man looked at you, his eyes going down your frame, especially down your low V-neck. He refrained from saying anything but you saw in his eyes that he was devouring you.

           Harrison was sitting beside you. You wondered how he made it to the high table and you understood when Tom and he started talking. They were friends. That made sense, since Harrison was a Northerner.

           There was an orchestra on the balcony above your head and although the song they were playing was beautiful, the sound was loud and you barely heard a thing of the boy’s conversation. You looked around, noticing the rest of the Northerners were sitting in the back of the room. Where the low-born usually were. You hoped they didn’t take that as an offence. Maybe putting Harrison and Thomas at the high table was your father’s way to show the Northerners that he meant no offence.

           Your father got up from his seat and the talking in the room slowly stopped. When everyone was in silence, your father started his speech.

“Today, I am welcoming at our table old enemies”, he began. “Maybe they once were enemies, but today they are our friends. They are our brothers, our fathers, our sisters and our mothers. Let this tourney be a proof we are united under the same banner, the banner of the Two Kingdoms.”

           There was some shooting from some knights and your father silenced them with a move of his hand.

“Tomorrow at dawn, the bravest amongst you are going to joust. And the last one standing is going to be declared the winner of the first day. Tomorrow’s feast is going to be in his honour. The Bohort will take place the day after and the best archer will be celebrated. Last but not least, the melee will take place three days from now, and the winner will be declared the best knight in the two kingdoms.”

Your father paused as there was some cheering, both from the Northerners and your people.

“From water we came and to water we will all return one day”, your father continued. “May the feast begin!”

           Your father sat down as a hoard of servants walked in with plates of food in their hands. Soon enough the clatter of utensils on plates were heard as people were starting to eat. Most of the feast consisted of sea food. Well, most of your alimentation consisted of sea food, since Azkapoor was on the coast of the Emerald Sea.

           Throughout the meal, you noticed the Northerner prince didn’t eat that much. He probably wasn’t a fan of sea food. His face lit up when they brought what seemed like turkey to the high table. That he ate a lot of.

           Harrison suddenly nudged you in the ribs.

“Hey, I can’t believe I made it to the high table tonight”, he said.

“Yeah, it’s amazing! And not only did you make it to the high table but you’re also sitting next to the princess. Usually, my father’s counsellors sit here.”

“Even though your father doesn’t like us Northerners, he knows how to please us”, Harrison stated.

           It had been a while since he had said he was a Northerner. Somehow, this made your heart sink in your chest. Maybe he wouldn’t want to be your friend anymore now that his people were here.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine”, you lied.

           He furrowed his brows. He knew you were lying but he shrugged it off, turning around to talk to his prince.

           About the prince, he was wearing a typical Southerner attire. He was wearing a green tunic that somehow matched your gown. It was made of cotton, unlike your dress and it was glimmering underneath the light, letting you know a gold thread had been intricately sewn into it. The colour suited him well.

           The prince looked at you. You felt embarrassed that he had caught you staring and you looked away, hoping your cheeks hadn’t turned too red.

           Soon enough, the meal was over and the servants cleared a space in the middle of the room where people would be able to dance. You watched as some nobles started dancing and smiled. The ambiance in the room was great, it almost made you forget about the fact the Northerners were supposedly enemies.

“Do you want to dance?” Harrison asked.

           You nodded your head quickly. You got up and he took you by the hand, bringing you to the dancefloor. The music was exhilarating and you danced with Harrison for a moment before changing partner with a nobleman you didn’t remember the name of.

           You didn’t know this, but most of the men on the dancefloor were dying to dance with you. It was an honour for them to be able to say they danced with the princess. Unfortunately for them, you always went back to Harrison, even though the boy kept tripping on his feet. It made you laugh and that was what was important to you. To have fun. So you kept going on between Harrison and the nearer guys.

           Once, you found yourself in front of a Northerner. A knight, you thought even though you had no way of knowing. You recognised him by his sober attire. The Southerner clothing were more colourful and this man was only covered in maroon. It was stylish though, but different from what you were used to.

           Your eyes met your father’s eyes at the high table and disapproval was written all over his features. You looked away. He wasn’t going to stop you from having fun tonight.

           You went back to Harrison and as the song came to an end, you found yourself in the arms of none other than the Northerner prince. You wished to switch back to Harrison as fast as possible, but the song that came next was a slower song. You weren’t supposed to switch partner in this dance, it was more of a slow waltz.

“Guess you’re stuck with me”, the prince said, a smile in his voice, as he noticed how you had tried to switch partners again.

“Uh, yeah, I guess”, you blushed.

“I’m glad you decided to wear the dress I chose for you”, he added.

You raised your head to look at him. “What did you say?”

“I sent your servant to you with this dress, what did she tell you?” he asked.

“She told me my father sent it, not you”, you answered, feeling betrayed by Namila. “Why would you want me to wear this gown?”

“Matching outfits”, he explained as he made you spin around before catching you back in his grip.

           You were suddenly closer to him, one of his hands was on your hip, the other holding your hand, guiding you around the dancefloor and your heart stopped beating in your chest as your gaze got caught up in his.

“You’re even prettier up close”, he whispered.

“You look handsome too, my prince”, you replied, trying to remember your courtesy lessons you had had a couple of years ago.

           Under his stare it was difficult to remember anything. He made you turn around so your back was facing him. He put one hand on your hips, the other still in yours and you looked over your shoulder to him. His face was centimeters away from yours and a soft smile was on his pink lips. You wondered how it would feel to kiss him right there in the middle of the dancefloor. After all, he was a prince. He could be the one you were going to marry. Not that stranger from across the sea.

           You felt your father’s stare burning on you, but you couldn’t look away from the prince’s lips. He spun you around again and caught you so you were facing him now. Both of his hands were on your hips now, holding you close, pressing you to his body. You weren’t swaying to the music anymore, his lips were so close to yours…

           That’s when you freaked out. Legit freaked out. You got out of his grasp, shoving him away a bit too roughly and you walked away from the Grand Hall where the feast had been held. You felt hot and you needed air.

           You walked out in the fresh night air. You walked to the gardens, never stopping to see if someone was following you. There were guards at every entry to the gardens, you weren’t scared for your life.

           You knew the gardens alleys by heart and you made your way toward the weeping willow tree that was on the side of the cliff leading to the Emerald Sea. You stood next to it, watching the waves hitting the rocks below you.

“Aren’t you afraid you are going to fall?” asked a voice behind you.

Of course he had followed you.

“I’d be afraid if I were you”, the prince said.

           You turned around to see him standing there, a few meters behind you.

“Thomas…” was all you managed to get out.

“Ah, don’t call me Thomas, call me Tom”, he gently said. “I hate being called by my entire name, makes me feel like my mom is scolding me.”

           He chuckled and the sound made your heart skip a beat.

“Why did you run away?” he suddenly asked. “Did I scare you?”

You shook your head. “No, of course not, Tom, I just needed some air. It was pretty hot in the Hall.”

“Was it?” he asked a smirk on your lips.

           You didn’t understand why, but the way he was looking at you at the moment stopped you from thinking straight. All you could think of was his hands on your hips.

“Yeah, it was”, you replied. “We should head back in before my father sends his men to kill you.”

“Why don’t we stay out a little more?” he said. “We still hear the music from here, we could dance. And your father wouldn’t see us.”

“Tom, we can’t”, you refused. “You’re a Northerner, I’m a Southerner. My father is going to get you killed if you touch me.”

“Then I’d die a happy man”, he frankly said.

           You blushed as he took a step toward you.

“Why me?” you asked. “You could have anyone in that room without risking your life, why me?”

He smiled. “Because you are the prettiest of them all, my lady.”

           His voice was velvety, it felt as if it was coated in sugar. But it was the best thing ever. Nobody had ever dared talk to you like this, you had always been unapproachable because of your title. But here he was, talking to you like an equal, like if you weren’t a princess, like if you were just another girl. Or perhaps he was talking to you like you were a princess, but he was considering you as an equal. Which would make sense since he was a prince.

           You stopped your train of thoughts as he took another step towards you.

“Can I have another dance with you, my lady?” he asked softly.

          The realization that he considered you as an equal was enough to help you take a decision.

“Yes”, you accepted, holding out your hand for him to take.

           He took it gently and pulled you away from the cliff. You started to sway together, to the distant sound of the music in the hall, interrupted sometimes by the cry of a cricket or by the waves hitting the rocks at the bottom of the cliff.

           The air smelled sweet, all the flowers in the gardens being the source of the smell, and a gentle breeze was caressing you both. The moon was the only light, but it was full and its glow was strong enough to cast your shadows on the ground. And in the sky laid a million stars, shining endlessly.

           It was weird. How you barely knew Tom and you were there, in his arms, swaying to a melody perhaps only your hearts were hearing. You had never believed in soul mates. You had never believed in love. The only thing that you believed in is that you all came from water and to water you all returned someday. It was a Southerner saying that came from a legend… but we shall explain that another time, shall we?

“It’s beautiful”, Tom said.

“What?” you asked in a whisper.

“Everything”, he replied. “The starts, the moon, the willow.” He paused for a moment, his gaze going to your face. “You.”

           His mouth was only a couple of centimeters away from yours and maybe the gods pushed you a little forward, maybe Aphrodite whispered to you, giving you her courage and boldness, but you closed the gap between your mouths.

           You had never kissed a boy and here you were kissing the first prince you had encountered in your life. Tom stiffened for a moment, before melting into your touch. He kissed you back ever so gently, his lips soft against yours. It was like coming home after a long time away. It was like being born again, it was like the singing of birds in the morning, it was like the breeze during a hot summer afternoon, like the rain after a long drought.

           For the first time in your life, you felt right where you belonged. And you could tell by the way he was kissing you back that the feeling was reciprocated.

           When you pulled apart, after what seemed like a sweet eternity, you opened your eyes to meet Tom’s gaze.

“What was that for?” he asked, his smile spreading into a soft smile.

“I don’t know”, you answered.

           He laughed gently before kissing you again. You let your hands wander up his chest, one finally finding its place on the back of his neck, the other resting flat on his chest. You could feel his heartbeat underneath it. It beat rapidly, much like yours did.

“Princess, Tom, I don’t want to step on your moment, but the king is looking for you everywhere”, a voice said.

           You felt extremely embarrassed for a moment and you got out of Tom’s embrace. It was Harrison.

“Of course he is”, you mumbled.

“Is it really a good idea for me to walk back in there?” Tom asked, a small laugh falling from his lips. “I don’t want to die today.”

          Harrison laughed too, but you didn’t feel like laughing. What was your father going to say?

         You walked back to the hall, Harrison and Tom behind you. Your father seemed to be fuming. You enjoyed the view for a moment before he saw you. If looks could have killed, you would have died instantly.

        You walked to the high table. Harrison followed you, but Tom instead walked to the Northerners’ table. You eventually sat back in your place beside your father and he just looked at you for a moment, disapproval in his eyes.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he enquired in an icy tone.

“I needed some fresh air”, you answered.

“I don’t want to see you around that Northerner again, is that clear?”

“My King, father, aren’t we supposed to treat the Northerners as friends tonight?” you challenged him.

           Your father seemed impressed by your reply. You had never ever questioned his orders before and instead of infuriating him more, he found himself proud of you. He would never admit that to you, but he was impressed. Finally, you were standing up to him. Finally, you showed some qualities he wanted in the heir to his throne.

“That didn’t mean you could run out in the night with him”, he declared. “You are promised to the prince of the Golden Islands, remember that next time you feel like running out in the night with a barbarian.”

           That’s it? Your father wasn’t going to punish you? You were genuinely surprised and you turned to look at Harrison, who had the same look plastered on his face. You turned back to your father. Had he gone crazy? He ignored your gaze and you figured it was your cue to leave.

“May I return to my chambers?” you asked.

“Go”, your father simply answered.

           He didn’t have to tell you twice. You quickly got up and walked out of the Grand Hall. You noticed Tom wasn’t there anymore either and you wondered where he had gone.

           As you made your way to your chambers, you couldn’t help but to remember the feeling of Tom’s hands on your hips and the feeling of his lips on yours. Namila won’t believe me.

Chapter two here!!

Taglist : (message me if you want to be on or off the taglist for this) 

Tom had been away for a while, filming his most recent movie and you both hadn’t talked a lot during the last few months. You knew the minute you would see him everything would go back to normal. Well, you hoped. You didn’t know why he had stopped texting you as much as before, you guessed it was just because he was busy. And he was the one who had suggested for you guys to hang out tonight so you had nothing to worry about. Right? Tonight was just going to be fun. And it was the beginning of summer, which meant the beginning of long nights of hanging out with Tom and just living your best life.

Your day at work had been long and you were glad to finally be on the ride back home. Back to him. But why was it raining so much? As you walked out of the bus and in the rain, you couldn’t help but to swear underneath your breath. It was the middle of June and the rain was still cold as shit, great. You walked to your apartment, which was in the same building as Tom’s. You were supposed to meet at his place but you wanted to drop by your flat first to get ready. After all, you weren’t going to show up with your work clothes.

You quickly took a shower. You put some music as you blew your hair dry and then as you put just a little bit of make-up on. For your outfit, you chose a pair of black jeans with a simple white t-shirt, knowing Tom would make fun of you if you overdid yourself. So you kept the outfit simple.

When you were ready, you took a deep breath, watching your reflection in the mirror. Your excitement to see Tom was mixed with something else, something you wished was caused by the weather. You were dreading the moment you were going to see him. As if something was going to happen.

You shook your head, trying to shake the dark thoughts away. Nothing was going to happen. It was just Tom and you, like always.

You grabbed a pack of beer from your fridge before walking to Tom’s apartment. You hesitated on his doorstep but then you knocked on the door and waited for him to open. When he did, your heart stopped in your chest. Had he always looked so attractive?

He was wearing black jeans along with a white t-shirt (you almost laughed when you realized you were dressed the same way) and boy did it suit him well.

“Tommy!” you exclaimed, all your worries disappearing as you saw his face for the first time in months.

He smiled and opened his arms waiting for you to hug him. You dropped the beers on the ground before throwing your arms around his neck. His arms went around your waist and he pulled you closer, slightly lifting you from the ground. He buried his face in your neck and you could feel his hot breath tickling your skin.

“I’ve missed you”, he mumbled and you could feel his lips moving against your neck.

Why was that making you feel so warm? He put you back on the ground, his hands still on your hips as you looked up at him.

“I’ve missed you too”, you said.

He stood aside to let you walk in his apartment. You heard a soft bark and suddenly a little dog was running to you.

“Tessa!” you said as you dropped to your knees to pet the dog. “I’ve missed you most little one.”

Tom laughed and shook his head as he walked to the couch. “I knew you love Tessa more than you love me.”

Love. The word love in his mouth made you feel warm inside. Your cheeks burned as you said: “I love both of you equally, you div!”

If only he knew how much that was true. Somewhere in the middle of May, a month ago, you had realized you were in love with your best friend. When he had called you at two in the morning to tell you that he missed you and wished he could hang out with you because Harrison was getting boring, you had felt butterflies in your stomach. From that moment you were screwed. And you knew it.

Perhaps that was the reason Tom had stopped to talk to you as much. Not because he didn’t want to but because you were the one that wasn’t texting him as much as you used to. You were afraid to seem clingy and that that would push him away.

You picked up your beers at the door before shutting it and joining Tom on the couch. You sat at the opposite end of it from Tom and he shot you a glance. You usually always cuddled but right now you were afraid your feelings would get in the way.

You took a beer from your 6-pack, offering one to Tom who took it with a wide smile on his lips.

“What’s new?” he asked.

You thought about it for a moment. Nothing’s new, I just have feelings for you now. It’s funny how it took you months away from him to figure that out.

“Not much, to be honest”, you answered. “Still working at Nando’s.”

Tom laughed. “Haven’t been to Nando’s in ages.”

You took a sip of your beer, your heart beating out of your chest when Tom glanced at you with his soft puppy eyes.

“What about you?” you asked, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach as he smiled softly.

“You won’t believe me”, he said.

You forgot about your feelings for a moment, curiosity taking the lead.

“What is it?” you asked.

His cheeks turned red as he took a sip of his beer. That’s when you realized you probably didn’t want to know.

“I’ve met someone”, he finally answered and your heart sank in your chest.

Ouch. That explained why he had stopped texting you as much as before.

“Oh, really?” you blurted, your voice a little too high as your blood turned cold in your veins.

Tom shot you a look and in his eyes you could see all his love for the other person. “Yeah. Met her on set.”

Each beat of your heart was painful and it took a lot for you not to start crying. “She’s an actress?” you asked, your voice shaking a little on the last word.

“No, a make-up artist”, he replied. “You alright?”

His voice was filled with concern, concern for his best friend who seemed like she had just seen a ghost.

“Is that why you stopped texting me?” you asked with the smallest voice.

You didn’t miss how he looked away before he answered. “You really want to talk about this right now?”

No. No no no. You didn’t ever want to have that conversation. You had feared the day when Tom would get a girlfriend because you knew that meant he wouldn’t be able to be as close to you as he used to be. You knew no girls would accept that. The fact that you now had feelings for him only made it worse.

“Uh, do I?” you asked, hoping maybe he’d see something in your eyes and that he wouldn’t break your heart even more than it already was.

“I guess it’s better sooner than later”, he said.

“What do you mean?” you asked as tears dwelled in your arms.

Tom looked at you. He had an apologetic look on his face and it made everything ten times worse. You didn’t want him to be sorry, you wanted him to hold you and tell you he loved you the same way you loved him.

“She isn’t comfortable with our friendship”, Tom whispered and for a moment you could see hurt in his eyes but it quickly vanished to be replaced by a stern expression. “And I agree with her.”

A tear rolled down your cheek and you quickly wiped it with the back of your hand, hoping Tom wouldn’t notice but of course he did.

“Y/N, don’t cry”, he whispered. “It just means that we can’t be as close as we used to be, we can still hang out.”

“No, Tom, you don’t understand.” You paused for a moment, searching for the words to say. “I’m in love with you.”

The second the words fell from your mouth you wished you could take them back. This was the stupidest thing you could have told him at that moment and you cursed yourself mentally for having said it.

“You… uh… what?” Tom stuttered.

“I love you, Tom”, you truthfully said. There was no turning back now. “Have had for quite some time now. I know it’s stupid and I know I shouldn’t have told you that but it just happened.”

“I’m so sorry”, he apologized.

This only broke your heart a little more. “It’s okay, I’m the div who fell in love with my best friend.”

You fell into a more than uncomfortable silence, in which you wondered what you were supposed to do now. Was this the last time you were going to see Tom?

“You’re still my friend, you know that?” Tom said. “I’ll always be there for you.”

Fucking liar. If he was to always be there for you, he wouldn’t have accepted to take some distance from you.

“Yeah”, you breathed, your eyes falling on your almost untouched bottle of beer.

You took a sip of it, hoping that maybe the alcohol would be able to drown the pain in your chest. You both sat in silence for a while, awkwardness filling the air.

You recalled the bad feeling you had had earlier today in the bus and you suddenly realised it wasn’t because of the rain but rather because you were about to lose that one person you had wished to have by your side forever. Now you wished it had just been the rain.

You stayed like that for a moment, both of you feeling as if a gap was forming between the two of you, a gap so wide you could never be able to cross it.

“Should I leave?” you asked even though the words killed you.

“I’d never thought I’d say this but yeah I guess I’d like that”, Tom said with a small voice. “I mean, not that I’d like it but you know, it would probably be better. Not better but yeah…”

“Tom, it’s fine”, you cut his rambling. “I understand.”

It’s fine. Biggest lie you had ever told. It wasn’t fine. Nothing was fine. You wanted to hold on to the last remnants of your friendship but there was nothing to hold on to. It was like trying to hold a handful of sand, it fell through the cracks between your fingers no matter how much you tried to hold onto it.

“Text me if you need something, okay?” Tom said. “I’m there for you.”

If you were really there for me you wouldn’t let me walk out that door.

“Uh yeah, same goes for you”, you said as you got up.

You put your beer down on the coffee table. You knew bringing your alcohol back with you would be a very dangerous mistake. Tom watched you as you walked to the door, his own heart aching in his chest too.

When he had made that deal with his girl, he hadn’t expected it to hurt you like this. In fact, he had never expected you to have feelings for him. Hell, he had thought that you and Haz would get together eventually, he loved the idea of his two best friends being together.

He had loved you too, the summer he had met you. The feelings had quickly turned into something platonic when he had realized you didn’t love him all those years ago, but now that you had confessed your love to him, he couldn’t help but to regret not saying something back then. Because today it was too late. He had moved on and he liked his new girl. A part of him knew that she was never going to be you but as he watched you leave he knew there was no turning back anyway.

When you were about to leave his apartment, you turned around and looked at him for one last time.

“Goodbye, Tom”, you softly said.

“Goodbye”, he replied.