#tojixfreader

Your head felt fuzzy. Was it anger? Disgust? Frustration? You didn’t know what emotion was coming over you. You mindlessly pushed your way through the crowd, ignoring the dirty looks and curses thrown at you from intrusively making your way to your table. When you reached your group, your friends were all on their feet, dancing to the beat of another generic EDM song. You tried to compose yourself as best as you could before reaching them, but you were always the type to wear your emotions on your sleeve. 

“Y/N, honey, what’s wrong? Where are the drinks?” Your friend immediately noticed something was off about you. Her curly locks that were put up in a ponytail when you all first arrived are now messily spread out over her shoulders. 

“I don’t feel so good right now. I think I’m gonna head home first.” You crossed your arms over your stomach, faking a stomachache. 

You trusted your friends. You knew that if you told them about what just happened, they’d know exactly what to say and do to make you feel better. But you didn’t want to bring down their mood, and right now, you just wanted to be where you felt safe, home. 

“Okay, sweetie, I’ll come with you on your way out, gimme a sec.” You nodded at her, thankful she didn’t pry any further. After grabbing your bag and saying your goodbyes to your other girlfriends, you two made your way out of the club. 

You sighed in relief when the club doors closed behind you, somewhat blocking off the music from the inside. You pulled out your phone to check the time, 11:24pm. 

“Are you sure you can get home by yourself? Why don’t you call Toji and get him to pick you up?” Your friend showed obvious signs of concern on her face as she gently rubbed your arm up and down. 

“It’s okay, I think my tipsiness has worn off. And I’ll just take a taxi back.” You reassured her with a gentle smile. 

A part of you wants to call your boyfriend immediately and have him pick you up from this place. You wanted to report everything that happened to him, and you know he’ll be right next to you in a matter of seconds after learning about what you just encountered. But you also knew all too well how Toji would react, and the last thing you want happening right now is your boyfriend murdering a man. The thought sent shivers down your spine. 

Your friend steps up to the curb of the street to hail you a taxi. After giving the driver your address, you walk up to her to give her a hug. You didn’t notice but the hug you gave her was extra tight, and you stayed in that position for a few seconds longer. Although your friend noticed that this was seemingly out of your character, she decided not to ask any further and just wished you a safe trip back. 

The ride home was quiet, a little too quiet for your liking. The taxi driver had the radio on, but the volume was turned down to the point it was barely audible. You found yourself crossing your arms around yourself as if you were hiding or protecting yourself from unknown harm. It’s not that you didn’t feel safe inside the taxi, but the feeling you felt at that bar started creeping up on you, reminding you of the unpleasantness of it all. 

Finally, after about fifteen minutes of silence, your house came to view. You shut your eyes for a second, breathing in and out in relief. After paying your fare, you quickly made your way up the steps to your house. Your hand froze before turning the doorknob, an unfamiliar feeling of uneasiness coming over you. You didn’t know why you were still feeling anxious. You were finally at your house where you knew you’d be safe and sound, and waiting for you inside was your boyfriend of almost four years, whom you loved and trusted with your life. You decided to ignore the uneasy feeling and opened the door. 

The sound of a game playing on the tv surprisingly comforted you. You smiled weakly when you saw Toji on the couch with his feet up and a bottle of beer in his hand. 

The sound of the door opening rattled him slightly. He quickly whipped his head back. The frown that came with his surprise quickly changed to a more gentle expression when he saw it was you. 

“Hey, baby.” He set his beer down on the coffee table before getting up to greet you. “You’re home early.” 

He opens his arms to envelope you in a hug but stops himself when he sees you flinch. You too were surprised. Your eyes widened slightly as you looked up to see his reaction. You didn’t mean to do that. You don’t know why you unconsciously flinched. Toji was obviously surprised, but not mad. You couldn’t paint the expression on his face. More than anything, he looked concerned.

“I’m sorry, Toji- I didn’t mean-” 

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He furrowed his eyebrows together, trying to get a better look at your face. His arms which were once spread out are now resting at his sides. You saw his hand reach up to touch you but he quickly put them back down. It was clear to him that you didn’t want to be touched right now, and he respected that. 

You couldn’t find the right words to say. You didn’t know how to begin. You dropped your head in front of you, covering your face with your hands. 

“Did something happen at the club, babe?” His deep, raspy voice surprisingly came out weak yet gentle. It was rare to hear him like this, but you knew this was him being comforting. 

You simply nodded in response, hands still over your face. 

“Okay, why don’t we sit down on the couch so you could rest for a bit, yeah?” 

“Okay.” You answered weakly. Still being careful of mindlessly touching you, he waited for you to make your way to the living room first. He kept his distance a little bit but still walked close behind you. You sat down in the middle of the sofa, and Toji followed, sitting right next to you. You two sat in silence for a little bit. Toji waited for you to speak first before asking any questions. 

“Don’t get mad, okay?” You knew starting off any story with this line was ineffective. It was obvious to him that what happened to you will cause him to get mad. 

“I won’t, baby.” He reassured, turning his body to face you completely. 

“Promise me, okay?” You insisted. 

“How could I ever get mad at you babe? Try me.” He chuckled softly. You tried your best to return his expression, but you were worried about something else.

“No, I know you won’t get mad at me...” You played with your fingers, Toji watching you carefully. 

“I-” As the words formed in your head, you suddenly started to doubt yourself. The big feelings you were feeling suddenly started to feel small when you realized you may be overreacting. Maybe it isn’t such a big deal? Why am I getting so worked up over this? 

“Mmm?” Toji hummed when you suddenly stopped. “Go on, darlin’.” 

“I was groped in the club. Some guy had his hand on my ass as I was ordering a drink.” You shut your eyes, nervously anticipating his reaction. When you heard nothing but silence and steady breathing, you looked up at Toji. His eyes were closed, seemingly calm, but you could see he was gritting his teeth. His reaction worried you, but it was better than what you had expected. 

“And? Where’s the little shit now?” He opened his eyes slowly to respond. 

“I don’t know, probably still in the club. I couldn’t say or do anything, really. I just got up and walked away.” You lowered your head a little, embarrassed by your lack of proactiveness. 

“It’s a good thing you walked away and quickly went home. But why didn’t you call me? I could’ve gone right over to pick you up.” 

“I didn’t really want to witness a literal murder happen before my eyes, Toji.” 

“Damn right. If I were there I would’ve used my bare hands to beat the living sh-”

“Toji...” You whined a little when you saw him get a little too worked up imagining the things he could’ve done to the man. 

“Sorry, sorry.” He leaned back a little, pushing his imagination to the side. 

“I know it’s a dumb question to ask, but are you okay?” You smiled a bit at your boyfriend’s efforts. You knew that he wasn’t really the soft type, he didn’t really know what to do whenever you were sad or going through something. Usually, he’d have you sit on his lap as he embraced you in his arms. But now that you were wary of a man’s touch, he didn’t know what to do. 

“I honestly don’t know.” You shot him a sheepish smile which he returned with a worried expression. 

His body slightly stiffened as he watched you make your way over him. You put your arms on his shoulders to support yourself as you sat down on his lap, legs together and spread out across the couch. With your arms still over his shoulders, you pulled him a little bit tighter, your head nuzzling the crane of his neck. You breathed in, taking in his scent- the scent that comforted you so much. You relaxed a bit more when you felt his arms wrap over your body, cradling you. You two sat in silence for a few more seconds, relishing the embrace. He swayed you slowly from side to side. Careful not to shake you up so much, which he usually does. You grazed your nose slowly against the bare skin on his neck.  

“Your smell comforts me.” You mumbled quietly against his skin.

“Should I be offended, or?” He pokes at your side, attempting to pull a laugh from you. 

You swat his hand away, pulling away from the hug. You gaze into his eyes for a moment. How is it that the man who thinks so little of killing is able to look at you with so much love in his eyes? You pressed your forehead against his and you both close your eyes from the intimate contact. 

“I can’t explain how I feel... I feel angry and frustrated... But at the same time, I feel disgusting. The part he touched- I- it’s like I lost something back there. I feel like my dignity was stripped away and I was reminded of how inferior I am when faced against a man.” You opened your eyes slowly, the mixture of feelings inside of you threatening to spill out all at the same time. 

Your eyes wandered around your living room avoiding your boyfriend’s eyes, who was inches away from you. You glanced back at him for a second but quickly looked away when you saw the pain on his face. He felt helpless. He racked his brain for the right words to say, frustrated at himself when he realized he couldn’t turn back time to stop this from ever happening. His blood was boiling from the thought of a man hurting you this much. 

“If only I agreed to you coming with me tonight... If only I didn’t wear this dress that exposed so much of my-” 

“No, okay, stop. Stop that.” He pushes your shoulders back slightly, forcing you to look at him. He carefully places his calloused hands against your soft cheeks, cupping them. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, okay? This was no one’s fault but that asshole’s. Want me to teach him a lesson?” He raises his eyebrows, showing his sincerity. 

As much as it would’ve satisfied you to see the man beaten and on his knees asking for your forgiveness, you just wanted to spend the rest of the night like this- in your boyfriend’s arms, surrounded by warmth and comfort. 

You shake your head. 

“Okay.” He responds quiety, stroking his right thumb across your left cheek. 

“I’m so sorry this happened to you. And I’m sorry I wasn’t there to stop it from happening.” His voice was sincere and kind. Completely opposite from how he usually is. You leaned against his hand, smiling slightly. 

“Is there anything I can do?” Toji’s eyes were begging for an answer. He didn’t like the idea of being useless, especially in this situation. He was hoping for something, anything he could do to make you feel better. One word from you and he’d do anything you asked without hesitation. You shook your head slowly.

“It’s okay, baby. I just need you by my side, like this.” He was doubtful, but he still nodded his head, acknowledging your request. 

“Okay, we can stay like this for as long as you like.” He forced a reassuring smile, running his hand up and down your back. You noticed his eyes travel from your forehead to your eyes, your nose, then finally stop at your lips. 

“-s it okay if I kiss you?” You were taken aback slightly by his question. It wasn’t like him to ask permission to kiss you. Then you quickly realized he was still being cautious of how you felt. After what you just went through earlier tonight, suddenly kissing you might be the last thing you wanted. 

“Of course, Toji.” You chuckled lightly against the kiss. He wasted no time before connecting his lips to yours. His lips felt warm, his breath slightly smelling like alcohol from the beer he was drinking. After the quick connection, he pulls back slightly, searching for any hint of uneasiness on your face. When he saw that you were okay with the kiss, he leaned in again for another, much deeper this time. 

“I promise this’ll be the last time.” He mumbles against your lips, not stopping from the kiss.

“Hmm?” You hummed back. 

“This won’t ever happen again, I promise you.” He pulls back this time, gazing straight into your eyes. Toji often makes promises to you. 

I promise to never hurt you for as long as I shall live.

I promise to love you in this life and in the next. 

I promise to never bring my work home. 

I promise to always clean up after I eat and to put my dirty clothes straight into the hamper before showering. 

But despite the many promises he has made to you, he has never broken a single one. That’s why the words he just spoke to you put your heart and mind at ease. Once he promises to do something, he never forgets. 

“Thank you, Toji. I love you.” You tried to smile despite the stinging in your eyes. Without missing a beat, he swiftly wipes away the tears that have escaped from the corners of your eyes.