#tnbg

activism

inclusion

support

love

patience

willingness to understand

does not extend to terfs/twerfs. 

This is just a quick intro and I'll be sure to write more posts in the future but I wanted to stop by and say whatup. A few days after my 26th birthday, which was this past August, I was hospitalized for the most severe Sickle Cell crisis I've ever had. To be honest, my body instilled fear in everyone. My body stepped so close to the reaper, we all cried for me to come back. 

This is not another trite story about a near death experience and seeing God for the first time and finding my purpose. Actually, maybe it is. Maybe this has all been done before. And instead of feeling despair for having done the same thing as many before me, I am reassured that wo(man) is all the same; at the core we are all here to leave impressions.

What I can say though is I learned the importance of bravery. Perhaps my purpose is bravery and now I am willing to approach every obstacle with mind of a warrior. Not a bloodthirsty warrior, but a warrior who seeks to protect. I learned I cannot protect anyone else if I don't even know how to protect myself. If I do not know how to maintain my own integrity, my own worth, my own mind, I will always be subject to the energy of those around me, I will always be subject to a will that is not mine. There's not much I can do about my body and my cells. Those are not words of resignation but acceptance. This is the sanctuary I was given; it's now time to learn how to pray within it anyway.

The New Black Gospel is one of the most terrifying things I've ever done. I hate the sound of my own voice (though, I hope you don't) and I'm working through it. I am scared of my own words and still I'm working through it. I am terrified of being this vulnerable and sharing this much of myself and making mistakes in front of an audience. I am terrified of finally taking that step to ensure that I will never be alone. Doesn't that sound wild? I am now realizing how much silence is the twin of solitude. I don't want to be alone anymore. 

The New Black Gospel is not only a space for me, it's a space for you and you and you. It's a space that recognizes every tiny intricacy and tries to nurture it. This is a space where we can be safe. At the end of the day, you all are me. So this is our journey, these are our steps. Thank you for coming with me.