Rapheesi: Mother Of Mutations
Read On Ao3
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Summary: The ridiculous idea of what if the Squirrelanoid that was reproduced inside Raphael stuck around and thought Raph was it's mom.
Notes: The title is a play on the game of thrones character Khaleesi Mother of Dragons and Raph's line in the episode "Mother of Mutation!" because I like to pretend i'm funny.
:Rapheesi: Mother of Mutations:
"Welp, that whole mess is probably gonna haunt me the rest of my life. "
Raphael cringed as he plucked yet another squirrel hair from his mouth, a wholly alien experience for the hairless turtle and a disturbing reminder of his earlier intestinal companions.
"Sure as shell not eating popcorn again for a long time, I'll tell you that."
Mikey, still curled up on the couch spouting horror comic wisdom periodically, gave what Raph considered an entirely unwarranted relieved sigh stating
"Oh good! My kernels are safe."
As he uncurled and revealed the popcorn bag he'd been guarding, only for Leo to swipe a handful against his baby brother protests.
Raphael blanched.
"I can't believe you guys are eating that."
Despite Mikey's continued attempts to defend his snack, Donnie stole a handful as well with relative ease and toss them into his mouth with a shrug.
"Well, none of us had any squirrel babies munching on it in our upper intestine. So that makes it pretty easy actually."
He munched a few more pieces with a smirk as his brother glared at him and growled out
"I did not have squirrel babies."
"Raphael, a new life came into existence within you-" Donatello intoned like it was something natural and beautiful, before swapping back to teasing
"You totally had squirrel babies!
He didn't make it very far before the red masked turtle dive-tackled him. And from there the resulting wrestling match didn't last more than a few minutes before he admitted defeat, mostly because Raph was sitting on his shell.
"I feel like we're missing something, like there's some important detail we overlooked."
His sibling's considered, Donnie tapping a finger on the concrete floor that he was flattened against, offering up.
"Is it what Master Splinter said about the squirrelanoids getting out of the septic tank?"
"Mmmm, I don’t think so, you said that it hold him for a while anyway. Right?"
"Right."
"Then naw that's not it."
It wouldn't stop nagging him, the feeling that they'd missed some relatively small but important detail.
Donnie sighed, pulling out his phone to pass the time as he served as an impromptu stool.
"Well if you figure it out let us know."
He mumbled a passive acknowledgement but was lost in thought replaying the earlier showdown, trying to find the discrepancy.
"Hey Leo! Do you still have that issue of ~It Came From Beyond the Beyond~ I lent you?"
Mikey shouted from the couch.
Leo, who had started up on the pinball machine considered, not taking his eyes off the ball but after a moment called back.
"I gave it to Raph."
Mikey turned his best 'I need it or I'll die' puppy eyes to the new target.
"Rrrraappphhhh~"
"Yeah yeah I'm gettin it, it's in my room."
Donnie celebrated his freedom is Raphael went to retrieve the comic, still mulling over his memories trying to figure out what about that last battle hadn't quite added up.
It was just there on the tip of his tongue as he swung his bedroom door open.
A monstrous, skeletal, red face perked up from where it had been snuggled into the blankets of his bed, giving him a warm chirp.
The door slammed shut again.
"Guuuyyyss? I figured it out!"
All attention turned to Raph, shell pressed to the door and body quaking as they eyed him curiously.
"Wha-"
"That last fight?" He explained shakily "There were only three Squirrelanoids."
Alarm lit on his siblings faces at the news.
"But where could the last one go? We've got to find it!"
"Nope, we don't"
"What are you talking about, of course we do! If that thing gets to the surface it'll cause complete havoc!"
He was not a turtle who showed fear often but there it was written all over his face, still waiting expectantly for a slam from the other side of the door as he squeaked out.
"Already found it."
He hitched a thumb over his shoulder toward his room and understanding dawned alongside the alarm and blossomed into fear.
"It…it's in your room?"
"It's. In. My. Room."
Slowly, ever so slowly the bedroom door inched opened.
A face peeked around the door frame.
The Squirrelanoid yawned widely, perking as the door inched open and the scent of kin that had first drawn it here when the others had seen fit to attack came closer.
*Chuurr?*
The face yanked back out again.
"Not that I'm complaining, but-" Mikey whispered from by Raph's elbow "Why isn't it attacking?"
"I don't know!" Raph hissed back, more confused then angry at the question. "It's just - just layin there! Oh shell what if it tries to eat spike! I'll never forgive myself!"
"We won't let that happen." Leo assured him, already switching into leader mode.
"Donnie, swing right. Mikey, go left, Raph you get Spike out of there then get back to help us."
A round of nodded acknowledgment answered him. silent, tense, and ready for action with eyes whited out by protective third lids.
The fight did not go at all how they expected.
After they threw the bedroom door open the room exploded into chaos, Squirrelanoid jumping in surprise at the sudden intrusion and scrambling as three of four turtles attacked it from all sides, but instead of retaliating it leapt up, dodged around them, and went straight for Raph.
To cower behind him.
Raphael had froze, pet tortoise cradled protectively to his plastron in one hand and sai half raised in the other, staring down at the massive monstrosity that was making pitiful little noises as it cowered into the back of his legs.
There was a very long and uncomfortable silence, the only sound the Squirrelanoid's fearful chitters.
Until it was broken by Michelangelo's stage whisper.
"STILL not complaining but why isn’t it attacking us and WHY IS IT SNUGGLING RAPH?!"
Staring straight ahead he didn't answer and didn't dare to look at the bright red and sharp sharp teeth that was behind him as he very slowly eased away from it. A second after he broke contact it squeaked in fear and quickly pressed itself against him again.
"It's scared?"
"It's a ten foot long murder machine, why is it scared all of a sudden?"
"Yeah, it had no problem attacking us earlier, what changed?"
Slowly their weapons had lowered as the Squirrelanoid continued to not act even the tiniest bit aggressive towards any of them. Content, it seemed, with its place 'hidden' safely behind Raphael's shell.
"Dudes - what if it wasn't?" confused looks shot Mikey's way "Like, did we actually ever fight all four it once after we first saw 'em? The other three coulda done it all on their own. It could've been sleeping in here the whole time and we wouldn't'a known!"
As they discussed the strange turn of events Donatello observed the creature intently, watching as it nuzzled its weirdly elongated face lovingly into his brothers knee almost knocking him over, gears turning over every possibility.
Slowly, very slowly, he inched forward and around his brother to get a better look at the thing.
"What are you doing!?"
Raphael hissed desperately, still scared to move in case it trigger a sudden change in attitude.
"Testing something." Donnie explained bluntly "Now shush."
It watched him wearily, gaze darting to the back of Raph's head every now and then like it was looking for reassurance and shifting to keep as much of its chosen turtle between them as it could manage.
The closer he got, the more it grumbled, and when it couldn't back any further around Raph's side without exposing itself to Mikey and Leo it snarled and took an unexpected snap toward him.
Raphael's reflexive reprimand was nearly as surprising, especially when the Squirrelanoid reacted like a chastised child. Pouting and leaning toward the shaken Donatello pointedly not looking at him but somehow giving off the feeling of being reluctantly apologetic.
"Welp, it definitely likes Raph best."
"But why!?"
"Okay so I'm just tossing this out there but, what if it's yours?"
Raph stared at Donnie
"Excuse me?"
"The one that went in your guts, it reproduced, made another one. That’s the only Squirrelanoid that was created inside another mutant. Maybe - I unno - ambient mutagen or some nonsense made it different. Made it actually have something like a parental connection to you. It's the only thing I can come up with I'm kind of flying blind on this one."
Raphael starred at his brother with a mix of confusion and horror, then down at the massive monster cowering behind him, pressed against him like it was seeking comfort.
Hesitantly, he placed a hand on the things weirdly elongated head and was surprised when it calmed.
To add even more surprise to this bizarre turn of events instead of the sticky sinewy grossness he expected to feel the thing actually was silky soft, the bright red that had put him in mind of blood and gore wasn't exposed skin or muscle it was a thin layer of velvety fuzz.
"It's okay buddy, they're not gonna hurt you." he comforted, petting it awkwardly.
It nuzzled into his hand, relaxing immediately and churring happily.
"I dunno, dumpin it into the septic tanks with the other ones just doesn't feel right."
Morning training had been canceled in favor of discussing what to do with the rogue Squirrelanoid
"But what else can we do with it? We can't just let it wander the sewers, even if it's more subdued then the other ones it's still dangerous, not to mention the damage it would cause if it got to the surface."
They'd tried to lock it in Donnie's lab for the night, after moving his more delicate experiments out of course, It went in easy enough, and seemed relatively content but that hadn't lasted long. The thing had broken out surprisingly quickly after they'd all nodded off and made a B-line straight to Raph's room, shoving it's way between him and the wall like a toddler after a bad dream and after the second failed attempt to convince it to leave he'd simply given up and slept with the mass of pointy edges curled up at his side, fluffy tail spread over him, and Spike on the pillow by his head.
"Well we just gotta make sure it doesn't wander around?"
"And how do you propose we do that?"
Currently, the Squirrelanoid in question was scampering around the lairs main room, curiously inspecting the space and periodically returning to the couch to nuzzle at Raphael and get the 'parental' affection it seemed to crave.
"I unno, just something better then flushing it I guess…"
It swung around again, proudly presenting Raph with it's latest discovery.
He offered it a hum of approval as he took Mikey's skateboard and set it aside, scritching it under the chin. It chittered happily and flopped down on the ledge behind him and stretched out.
"Dude's, this is just like my comic, How To Tutor Your Wyvern!"
Raph came so so close to blowing Mikey's ridiculous statement off, but after how on-point he'd been about everything yesterday he instead found himself asking
"And how is this just like your comic this time Mikey?"
Honestly he zoned out after the first few minutes of the orange masked turtles complete I scattered retelling of the entire comic plot. But the little he did catch wasn't to far off, his thoughts had started to drift to what kind of treats he should get Spike to make up for all the drama going on lately when his attention was dragged back to the present by Mikey's excited shout of
"-And I should get to name it!"
"What?!"
Leo and Donnie had tensed at Raph's shout, obviously expecting the Squirrelanoid to go on the defensive in response, but it only perked an ear as it glanced over at them, then laid its head back down again obviously unconcerned.
"Yeah, cause I'm the best at naming stuff! Ooo! How about Brad!"
"I'm not naming it that!"
"Aaawww why not it’s such a good name."
"Why do I not want to name it after Dogpound? Really!?"
Mikey had obviously forgotten that tiny detail and sheepishly backpedaled with
"Well what about Brian instead?"
"Too close."
"You called the one in my room Creepster, that's not a bad one."
"I was insulting it!"
The argument went on, names fluctuating between surprisingly mundane to downright bizarre as the other two brothers watched with mounting confusion.
Donatello threw his arms up, motioning to the argument and demanding
"Am I losing it or is this thing starting to sound like a pet?!"
"No, no, I'm getting that impression too."
"I've got it!"
Mikey looked so proud of himself as he stepped up onto the couch, put a foot on the ledge above, and motioned dramatically to the sleeping Squirrelanoid.
"We shall call him… Tim?"
He dragged the name out, checking for a reaction.
And wasn't let down as Tim looked up as soon as he said it and focused right on him.
"Huh, I think you got a winner there bro. C'mere Tim."
It perked again, attention turning back to Raph now, and scampered down to sit before him chitterlings curiously.
"Good job buddy lookit you!"
"We can't possibly be considering actually keeping this thing!" Donatello lamented as Raph and Mikey started to talk it through various simple tricks. Raphael just gave him a shrug as Tim rolled over for him.
"Hey you said these guys are our responsibility. We lost the mutagen that made it this way, its our job to fix it."
"I didn't mean by adopting one!" He looked frantically to Leonardo for backup but even their leader had a look that said he was considering it.
"It might actually be our only option." he conceded after a moment "If it was smart enough to get out of your lab, It's not too much of a stretch to think it's smart enough to get back out of the septic tanks. At least we'd have an eye on it if we kept it here."
"Bu-How would that even work though? What would we feed it?!"
"We keep Mikey fed."
"Hey!"
As if on cue Tim's stomach grumbled, the Squirrelanoid huffed and pushed itself up, bounding from the living room and into Donnie's lab.
"Oh great what's it doing now!?"
They followed it, Leo with weapons ready and Donatello berating them every step about all the horrible things it could get into in there.
Warily, they peeked into the lab, ready for the worst.
Only to find Tim happily chowing down at the algae pool, greeting them with a chirp before returning to its meal.
"Donnie, I think you owe Tim an apology."
Donatello buried his head in his hands, groaning at the ridiculousness of the whole situation.
:Notes:
-I wrote this as a ficlet but there was a bunch of stuff I wrote and really liked but couldn't fit in so i'll probably add a bonus chapter with the bits, toss me some ideas if you want me to write about anything or have any questions you want answered. -'How to Tutor Your Wyvern' is indeed a reference to How To Train Your Dragon. -'It Came From Beyond The Beyond' on the other hand I just made up. -My friend @theserif thought to name it Tim because Monty Python and the Holy Grail is awesome - @lizardprincce thought up the Brad and Brian options








