My heart hurts 🖤 how can you bleed out for months and not die?

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My heart hurts 🖤 how can you bleed out for months and not die?

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My safe place..
You used to be my safe place..
The sound of your voice soothed all the darkness, demons, and anxiety that choked my soul like forgotten weeds on a busy sidewalk..
My over thinking was calmed by the sheer sanity you brought to my life, the quiet assurances that you were here for me, that you would hold me through the darkness, and help me fight back the demons that cling to my back..
The phantom feeling of your arms around me, your lips on mine, your body wrapped around mine, tangled together, creates an ache that hasn’t been calmed..
I miss you, I miss us, yet I move forward wading through the sea of faces looking for glimpse of you in every face I meet..
Sometimes 🖤
Some people come into your life and quietly take over. Your mind, your body, and most importantly your heart.
They touch you with such intensity without ever placing a hand on your person.
They wrap themselves around you like the warmest cotton, they protect you, they challenge you, they love you, they crave you, they drip with desire for everything about you, even when you don’t feel particularly sexy or desirable.
Even if just for a season.
Sometimes you miss the connection, sometimes you crave the 5 AM calls waking you up with the warm, husky voice demanding your submission while the warm, hazy, last moments of sleep leave your body and the lust punches you in the stomach as you connect across the miles.
Sometimes you miss the daily chats about absolutely nothing, knowing they care about the insequential details of your life.
You miss your person, your love, the person who knows your darkness and loves you anyway.
Sometimes you know it wasn’t real. It was all a dream, a flash in the pan, a quick affair of the heart, footies under the table, a quickie in the bathroom.
Real doesn’t leave you alone and afraid, real doesn’t love you and watch you bloom only to crush your spirit under their boots, real doesn’t walk away without looking back, real doesn’t promise forever only to snatch it back and give it to others.
Sometimes I know I miss a fantasy, a dream of how it could be but couldn’t stand up to the harsh lights at 2 AM.
Sometimes 🖤
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I’m just the girl who is so amazing until I’m not 🖤

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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And one day turned to theee and eventually it all faded away. The voices and memories float along the forgotten hallway of broken promises.
Three years in March.
It’s amazing how much you can grow if you just let go and give yourself permission to do so.
Permission to let go of things and relationships not meant for you.
Permission to love yourself, holistically and utterly love yourself, flaws and all.
Permission to move past the things that don’t enrich your life whether it’s people or experiences.
Permission to let go of old wounds and baggage that may hold you back from being the best version of yourself.
Permission to turn off the programming, the voice that constantly tells you, you aren’t good enough, pretty enough, sexy enough, smart enough, never enough. He was wrong and you prove it every day.
I mourn the girl I was and the years wasted.
I embrace the woman I’ve become. She’s fierce, she’s independent, she’s learning to love the skin she’s in, she knows her worth and definitely what she brings to the table.
She’s free!
Break Up in the End
Song by Cole Swindell
OVERVIEW
LYRICS
1 of 2
2 of 2
I still walk in that bar a little drunk
I still ask you what you're drinking, what's your name
I still kiss you by the shuffleboard, last call at 2AM
Even though we break up in the end
I'll introduce you to my mom and dad
Say "I think I love her" when you leave that room
I'd still not take their advice when I say you're moving in
Even though we break up in the end
Even if I knew you'd be the one that got away
I'd still go back and get you
Even if I knew you'd be my best and worst mistake
Oh, I'd still make it with you
Over and over, again and again
Even though we break up in the end
I'd still play my favorite song in your car
Let you love me to it, 'til it felt like ours
Now all I hear is you in it, but I'd still let you ruin it
Even though we break up in the end
Even if I knew you'd be the one that got away
I'd still go back and get you
Even if I knew you'd be my best and worst mistake
Girl, I'd still make it with you
Over and over, again and again
Even though we break up in the end
You've just had one too many tonight
You're just calling 'cause you're lonely, that's okay
But you know if you come over, I can't not let you in
Even though we'll break up in the end
I'd do it over and over, again and again
Even though we break up in the end
Songwriters: Chase Mcgill / Jessie Jo Dillon / Jon Nite
Break Up in the End lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group