#tloudeepdive

The unasked question

During my most recent play through, one thought kept gnawing at me: the rope marks on Abby’s neck and wrists. They were so visible. Owen and Mel had to have seen them. Nora too, maybe. But we never see anyone ask her about them in the game. Not a single person.

Abby went to unimaginable lengths, putting her life on the line over and over again to find Owen. She plunged into infected territory, escaped the Seraphites by a narrow margin, swam through a dangerous current, and risked Isaac's wrath. She literally stared death in the face several times. Yet, once she found Owen, she selflessly pushed her own problems and trauma aside to focus solely on him. This is a person who consistently sacrifices for others, but did anyone even ask “what happened?” Did anyone ask how she met Lev and Yara, beyond her brief mention that they saved her? Was the trauma behind that story ever explored by those around her? It makes me wonder if anyone truly paid attention.

She always puts others first, so when she almost lost her life, did anyone bother to check in on her? Maybe I analyse things too deeply, but my heart breaks thinking about it. It's a heavy thought, and it really highlights the emotional weight she carries in silence.

One thing that really bothers me is when people claim Abby enjoyed killing Joel. It makes me question whether we've all played the same game, or if some of us just struggle to grasp the depth of emotions and subtext involved. It's frustrating to see such a misunderstanding of her character and the complexity of her journey.

Look at Abby in this scene. Just look at her. There is confusion, conflict, and guilt written all over her face.

As she stood there, the weight of her actions pressed down on her like a suffocating weight. Killing Joel, something she had envisioned as the key to her salvation, had not released her from the torment she had hoped to escape. Instead, a million thoughts swirled chaotically in her mind, each one echoing the haunting question "Why do I still feel so hollow?" The nightmares that plagued her nights didn’t stop. It dawned on her that taking Joel's life would not bring her father back. Yet, how could she have known that without confronting him? The nagging thought that she would never find peace unless she sought vengeance had driven her to this moment, leaving her grappling with the haunting realisation that revenge had not fulfilled the promise of peace she so desperately craved.

The need for revenge plagued her mind and the burning desire to avenge her father consumed her every thought, drowning out all reason and leaving no room for anything else but the relentless pursuit of justice.

Losing her dad made her lose herself. Losing him brought her immense pain, a pain that she will carry with her for the rest of her life. It’s a pain that didn’t get better by time, but it’s something she had to learn to live with.

Stumbling upon a charming little bookstore in Hillcrest, instantly brought Abby to mind and her deep passion for reading. As I lingered there for a few moments, I found myself wondering if Abby had ever had the pleasure of exploring this hidden gem. I could easily picture her losing track of time, looking at all the different books waiting to be discovered, carefully selecting the perfect treasures to bring back with her to the stadium.

In the warm embrace of her favorite books, she finds a safe haven from the heavy world around her. Surrounded by feelings of loss and the weight of her world, these stories become her escape, taking her to places filled with hope and joy.

After a long day on patrol or completing the tasks assigned to her by Isaac, she turns to these pages to calm her mind and heart. On days when grief and sadness feel especially strong, the tales within help her forget her pain, offering comfort and peace. In the simple act of reading, she discovers not only a way to escape but also a joy that lifts her spirits and brightens her days.

She loves a wide range of books, from fantasy fiction that whisks her away to magical worlds, to historical fiction that brings the past to life, and even beautiful poems that touch her heart.

Oh, Abby, how deeply I wish I could gather every book in the world, all for you. I’d go to the ends of the earth just to see your sweet smile and know that you are happy.

Here’s a list of Abby’s books featured in the game:

Some of us fill our lives with a multitude of friends, surrounding ourselves with a circle that sings of loyalty and support. They pledge to stand by us through thick and thin, but where are they when life throws its harshest blows at us? Most of them vanish like whispers in the wind, leaving you to wonder what true friendship even means.

When I think of what friendship really is, I think of Abby and Manny. Their friendship is built on trust that has been shaped and solidified by the trials of loss and sorrow. They were just kids, young Fireflies with hopeful hearts when tragedy tore through their lives. Manny was there, in the same room, when Abby discovered the lifeless body of her father. Having a close bond with his own father, he didn't just witness her pain, he felt it. He watched the light drain from his friend's eyes, saw her transform from a hopeful girl into a woman consumed by grief and rage. It was the kind of pain that changes a person from the inside out, a silent, internal death.

Every day, Manny watched his best friend fade away, not physically, but emotionally. Yet, he never once wavered. He didn't question her or doubt her path. Instead, he became her pillar, sharing her pain and carrying a piece of her grief on his own shoulders. He made her sorrow his own.

When they were in Jackson, many of us were shocked when Manny spat on Joel, but I understand it. He wasn't just angry for himself, he was angry for Abby. He saw firsthand how Joel's actions had slowly, painfully, consumed his best friend's life for years, and when you love someone, whether platonically or romantically, their pain becomes yours. Manny's anger was an extension of his love for his best friend.

He was the one who tried to bridge the gap between Abby and Mel after Jackson, seeing how they had drifted apart. He just wanted his friends to mend their broken bond, to leave the past in the past and foster a future where they could heal together.

Their friendship isn’t about big gestures, it’s about showing up for each other. When Abby was heading out on her own mission to find Owen, she thanked Manny for helping her sneak out. "Hey, thanks," she said. And his response, "For this?" showed he saw it as just a normal part of being a friend. Her reply, "Yeah... and other stuff, you know?" held the weight of their history. It was her way of saying thank you for the countless times he was her rock, for sharing her burdens, and for a loyalty that never once gave out. It was a powerful, silent acknowledgment of a bond that needed no more explanation.

It’s soul crushing to think that was one of their very last, small moments together. A simple, quiet exchange, a shared breath of thanks and understanding before all of it was ripped away in the blink of an eye, before Manny’s life was gone in a flash the next time they saw each other.

And even then, when they saw each other again, when he pulled Abby back from the brink of Tommy’s rifle, he didn’t question her motives, even though she was meant to stand beside him, leading the first wave into the chaos of the Seraphite island. When Abby insisted she needed one of those boats at the marina, he simply asked "Why?" And her response, "Ask me later" was enough. Manny didn’t need an explanation. His only question was how he could stand by her. "Then I guess you're gonna help me take this guy out," he said. And with her simple reply, "Let's do it," they were a team again for a very brief moment of time.

It’s a heartbreaking comfort to believe that Manny is still by Abby’s side. She can no longer hear his voice or banter with him like they used to, but the absence doesn't mean he's gone. He's there in the quiet spaces, watching over her and supporting her in the same way her father does, and Owen, and Yara, and everyone she has lost. Physically, they're not there, but their love still is. They are the ghosts that guide her, the proof that her pain is real, and the reason she keeps fighting for herself and especially for Lev. And so, in the wreckage of all she has lost, she finds a foundation built on their memory, a reminder that even when the light fades, the warmth of those who loved you can still guide you home.

This has been sitting in my drafts for a while and I wasn’t sure if I was gonna post it or not but here we go.

I don’t mean to be a hater at all so please don’t take it the wrong way, but I’m genuinely tired of reading one-shots and drabbles that portray Abby as a mean, abusive, heartless person who enjoys inflicting pain on others. The idea that she would bully or hurt someone because of her strength, or force them into sexual situations against their will is just plain wrong. Not only that, but it also romanticises and normalises abuse, which is so harmful considering that there are already such damaging perceptions of sex. The notion of her locking someone in a dark, cold room and depriving them of basic human rights is really disturbing.

While everyone is obviously free to write what they want, these portrayals create harmful stereotypes about muscular women that are truly damaging. I know for a fact that Abby would never even think of doing anything like that. She’s such a sweetheart and incredibly gentle, she wouldn’t even think of acting in such a way.

I’m not trying to shame anyone for their writing, but I think it’s also really important to consider how these kinds of portrayals can shape people’s views on sex as a whole and they can also be triggering. It’s important to remember that characters like Abby can and should be represented in a way that highlights their kindness and strength without resorting to harmful stereotypes.

Stay safe y’all ♡